2012 Year in Review....

Life and the year had its own plan, contrary to what was thought by us, It’s often said, ‘strange are the ways of destiny…you are here 1 minute ‘n your entire day is planned right to every second…’n then a small thing goes wrong and everything is in disarray....’

Feelings are strongest at the time of meeting and departure; in the beginning and the end; Isn't it?

The year began with the Key Handing over of Hoysala flat, my parents dream, sisters desire, my abode; Oaty trip, Santhu-Lakshmi's wedding, shifting of the house, Guruvayoor-Munnar Trip with Sharyn in the first quarter.

Then on there were mixed surprises and feelings. Events cancelled; 4t Kochi; UK Trip; Inviting relatives and friends to the new home; time travelling and therefore, had fracture, but yes also there were the promotions, which proved that it is not only bullying and agressiveness that takes you up the ladder in professional life; so many gifts, new Honda Activa; the books; all mentioned before; but have missed the Awesome (Again Three!) from Claire and Vanessa through Gareth:

• Wuthering Heights
• Pride & Prejudice
• Sense & Sensibility

 Indeed the classics, I finished re-reading (It was part of rapid reader in our school) Wuthering Height, but am yet to do with Pride & Prejudice as well as Sense & Sensibility.

Well yes, there was also this Shiva Trilogy by Amish, of which only the first two are released, and have been read, waiting for the third, before I  post the details:

• The Immortals of Meluha
• The Secret of the Nagas
• The Oath of the Vayuputras

Loved to see Sridevi back in action, in English Vinglish.

A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversation, doesn't always need togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.......Got to know who true friends where; spoke to an old friend now a leading Doctor in Kalyan after 18 years, Thanks to FB. No gift can be compared to a friend who is always there, and only time would say who they are; it was nice to meet Claire; Gareth and Dunja; But sad that some had to leave, either for the time being or for ever!

Some make me murmur: 'Aisa Zakam Diva Hai Jo Naa Phir Bharega'; some 'Kabhi Alvidha No kahena'; but at the end of the day; I realise 'Zindagi Ke Safar Main Gujar Jate Hai Jo Makaam woo Phir Nahi Athey'.

For me it was like the Mayan Age comming true; What is Mayan age? The dawn of a new consciousness? The beginning of a new era? Another day that has come and gone without anything happening? Probably a little of all of these! For me it surely is a great transition period.....and somewhat true.....We had 12-12-12 & 20122012; and finally the much awaited, 21-12-2012, before 2013.......

It was a cycle, Vanessa had her Baby; and I hope to see my father back in action; Miracles have happend and still happens, so why not wish for this one! The only wish!!!


“To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect” - Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility


Let me restate from: My FRIEND Alex Thomas's gift on Virtues in 2009 end....

Health is the first of life,

Wealth is the next of life,

Characters Courage is the best of life,

Respect is must in life,

Turning is the test of life,

God's blessing is the crest of life,

Love is crucial for life,

Happiness is the perfume of life,

Truth is the search of life,

Death is the rest of life...

I will always need my Parents no matter what age I am ...... My parents have made me laugh... wiped my tears... hugged me tight...watched me succeed... saw me fall... cheered me on... kept me going strong...scolded me...motivated me...restricted me.....gave me liberty... . Parents are a promise from God that I will have a friend…forever!!!!...I love my parents..........Miss you when you are not around....When I said this in the beginning of the year, around their anniversary time, on returning from Oaty; I was not sure, what the year had enstored for us! But it was indeed a great year of togetherness, of love and understanding; one of the memorable years like1983-84;  1993-94 and 97-98.

There is so much to be written on the world around, but this by itself, has made the post too long, and I need to keep them short, so for now:

Wish you all a Very Happy 2013 ahead, may all be healthy,wealthy & together in love with the  blessings of the allmighty! For me, the only thing, I would want is to see my father healthy and active again!

2013: The first day of the rest of my life...

Three Books & Three People

Ah! Again Three...

To begin with Books:

Mission of Love by Roger Cole : A physician’s personal journey towards a life beyond; the book is a spiritual tapestry woven from the individual experiences of people’s lives.

First and foremost, I need to Thank Sharyn for the constant support throughout, which has helped me immensely though out this phase; adding on to the various support was this book; which gave me the strength to go forward and speak with the Brahma Kumaris; and hopefully I could start fresh in 2013.

The Power of the Possible by Auriela McCarthy: True stories of Healing and Transcendence

Thanks to Reader’s Digest, for quite someting, this book was lying in my shelf unread, and I have read it now. It speaks of all the basic things required; forgiveness, compassion, change. At the root of cancer lies anger, old, petrified, unexpressed and deadly. It is the anger that we are sure is too late to do anything about.

Jeevithamenna Athbutham (The miracle called Life): KS Aniyan:The book shares the experience of Dr. VP Gangadharan, a Senior Consultant on Med. Oncology. The book is special for two reasons. First, it is informative which clear many of our doubts and believes about Cancer with the help of hundreds of life situations which will shake us to the reality. It will remind us of many other diseases we hold with us which is more powerful and capable to destroy us. Secondly, the experience of the doctor is been described by a writer (KS Aniyan) keeping the emotions with all its powers. This adds the sharpness for the experiences to reach to the innermost layer of our hearts. The book gives a complete reading experience and one who completes the book will acknowledge that it is a literary work as well.


The Three Doctors:Dr. Gangadharan:The doctor is as a reserved but pleasant man of few words, with no false promises, but hope, compassion and optimism; a person with infinite patience - but still uncomfortable in the presence of pain and suffering.

Dr. Nitha Thejal:

Always with a smile on her face, she was there to answer any of the questions, young, dynamic, it was a shock to know that she passed away when we were in the hospital on 22nd December. Indeed it is not the years, in our life but the life in our years that count. People are reluctent to become doctor's these days, thinking it would take years to start earning, and there is so much of hard work to be done....But here she was.....diagonised with cancer at an young age, she qualified and became an oncologist herself, took up the task of medical business and became the COO of the company, but soon passed away way before she was even thirty doing things which we may not be able to do, even at 60!! And though out she was always with a smile, comforting others!!!


Dr. Arun S. Warrier: Yet another upcoming legend, shall I say or may need to wait and watch, he is open, clear, and understanding.

Parmeshwaran Chettan, Dr. Anupama and Dr. Mittu and all the nurse, attendants, helpers and the patients; young and old in the oncology department, Nevertheless, the office staff in the reception, accounts and insurance.....




Thanks for your prayers, support and understanding; I am grateful for the year I have been with my beloved father and for the time I have people like you right now.

Your presence and support had indeed lifted me at the time of this huge setback.


These books and people are an open window to a tunnel where I enter without knowing whether I can return or not.

Sushupti.....

“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand and after sometime, I will resume my life...'

The people of ancient times have called the sleep that happens each day a mini-death. They have understood sleep to be a small glimpse of death. The deep sleep state is called Sushupti..Sleep is a glimpse of death. All surgical opeartions are performed after giving anaesthesia, as it takes you to sleep, which help you forget your pain.

Sleep has traditionally been called "death's sister." The Bible is filled with instances of people who are visited in their dreams by heavenly figures to convey an important message.

Sleep I do, even when I am afraid what my dream might bring. On April 30th I heard something like a blast, though it was some celebration over sports victory, I kept looking through the balcony of our new flat, and could see smoke at a distance, and slowly the fire, it kept comming closer. I wondered, what do it, should I jump or run down stairs? I thought, if I jump from 4th floor, I migh break my bones, and there is no time to run down, why not, just continue watching? And the fire passed away, not causing any damage to the building, but a great loss, around. I felt sad, because I could do nothing, but just stand and watch! I was surprised, but then after sometimes realised it was a dream!

Next day I got the book: Ten Thousand Dreams Interpreted, by Gustavus Hindman Miller.
and I love going through it, every now and then!

Sleep has seldom given me any issues. I can sleep standing in a running bus! Even when all at home have sleepless nights, worried, tensed, I am fast asleep, and all at home keep wondering how?


May be I am a sleepyhead, but yes there are things that I can and have spent countless nights on – books & Work; I have stayed up before exams, just to finish a book that engrossed me. ....I am as fit and active, working 24 hours, typing things, and ensuring that the deliverables are met.

And I sure do hope they remain the sole reasons for my sleepless nights in future too; also may I have the dreams, to forsee and bear what is to come .... until I embark on my permanent sleep, Death!

Happy Birthday...Pappa & Neil!!

To my Achan & Kuttose,

Achan I happen to know love birthdays -- and he's very good at celebrating his own and other peoples! Besides, when you get to be old believe me, you're grateful you're still around to celebrate one!

Kuttose (Neil), I'm thumbing my nose at him and celebrating his birthday anyway but with Achan!! Hey, Sorry I could not be physically present though!!!

On Achan's B'day; 26th Nov, the date, we were comming to the hospital and he was very down, and on the 5th of November, his Nallu; (Magam) me was busy in office with the month end!!

But he did have his dear childhood friends cum relatives with him; yes Panku Uncle and Chandran Uncle....The value of realationship.....Indeed, whenever we had difficult times, they were around!

This is for both of you, Pappa & Ponnukatta! You WON'T see cutesy little smiley faces on this post,
just the stone cold truth of how I feel about you.
1. When you are sad, I wish I could jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will wish that the smile last forever.
4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, I would pray that you are rid of it soon.
8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh!!!
9. This is my oath...I wish I could pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask;-- because you're my greatest person; of course!! May you have many more Birthdays, and spread joy and happiness with the unique thought of Love for all, open minded talks (which sometimes do hurt others), love for parents, sibling and children!

There is one Eye that has been following us through.......

Now I feel it is the evil eye, but why? Everything, every situation has its own time.

Ours was a healthy family, my father always considered himself, young, untill last year, and now here he is bed ridden, he has indeed become an 'Appupa' (Grandfather) as Neil calls him now.

It all infact started in 2008, with several irregular fragments of light brown firm tissues; consistent with benign Hyperplasia of the Prostate which was operated in June 2008.

Not getting through the US visa proceeding, had brought him down, mentally, but he was on cloud nine, having a grandson in 2010

2011 saw him getting restless, complete blood, urine, ulta sound scan and tests were done, under the guidence of Dr. K.G. Nair; but everything showed normal and the presumption was it would be spondylitis.

He loved taking heavy things, lifting stones which would weigh 100 kgs. making space for washing cloths, cementing the space around the house, lifting heavy things, when shifting house, and being the healthy person in the family to get things done.

Because of the weaknesses, it was decided to recheck the prostate, and there in was! Carcinoma Prostate. With gross pain; back ache and feaver, again on operation was done in Sept 2011; soon after my first surgery and return from Kanyakumari.

After few days, rest, weight lifting and other adventures of my dad started again, attending Neil's first B'day in Ekm, return at night, going and getting things from Ekm, when it was forgotten in the car, shifting things from 8th to 6th floor, with Rajeev.

In 2012; Jan we had been to Oaty, he always loved travelling, outing and visiting places and we planned to go to Munnar next, and abroad soon. Also he wanted to attend Sandeep Chaithanya's class at Guruvayoor; Dhyanam, Bhagavad Geetha, Narayaniam Yoga, for which he did go on the 28th of March; Amma was sad and surprised because of his change in mind, and spirituality. Thara had booked for him, when we had been there for Chukudus Thulabaram.

After returning, he had pain all over his body, and he kept telling it was because of the yoga. We had been to Thrissur beach, when returning from Guruvayoor. And though he had plans to stay in the new flat at Kakkand, he could not because of severe back pain, and therefore had to do bone scan, which indicated abnormal increased radiotracer in April 2012.

From then began, his meeting, the next best person whom he admired; Dr. Gangadharan; (More on him in the next post) and the hormon treatment, Honvan, Zoldarin injections, 6 Chemos, Nitrol, daxotel; Ultracet, Pan 40; occassional visits to the doctor, a day in hospital, couple of days, and by the year end, all through christmas untill new year, for more than 10 days...Where he said, he would drive to Kakkand, next Christmas.....

In hospital with so many people around, we realise: ‘cancer isn’t the end of everything… It does not always take lives... It also gives you one... And teaches you how to live it...’

They say, when man is faced with a challenge, he goes about it in two stages. The first and the most important one is to accept it… Triumph and defeat comes later...


He would keep saying, this is all part of the game, pain is also an offering from God, his Prasadam; Accept it with a Smile!

Hope I can do that...Keep going, Acha....You are my Hero!

Come and Meet the Cadbury Christmas Team

Santa: The cornerstone of the group. A warm hearted & Wise figure, with a big laugh to match his belly! He’s a fantastic story teller – the team like nothing more than a Christmas tale from Santa before bedtime!


Rudy: Santa’s favourite reindeer...Full of life, energy, and the life of the party! Rudy’s favourite sport is extreme sledging which some may say is not the best pastime for a clumsy reindeer!


Clyde: Snowman brought to life by Rudy, by spilling some of the elves magic dust.



Lloyd: Full of energy and beans, cheeky little Lloyd is an incredible outgoing elf. Very intelligent and practical, he’s always conjuring up clever little tricks to play on the team!


Esther: Lloyd’s little sister. Quiet but very clever, she loves feeding the reindeers and singing Christmas carols....until Lloyd disturbs her playing the air guitar! If you listen carefully you can hear her bell ringing...


Hector: (Owl! Reminded me of the one sitting on the tree, outside my classroom, when I was in school) Loves decorating the tree! With a fantastic sense of direction, Santa has made him chief navigator on all the sleigh riders.


Thanks Cadbury! Thanks Gareth & Dunja! Through both of you, we could discover the new chocolate characters.......

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2013!

Till we meet Jurie & Ellen

One of the greates gifts of 2012, was seeing the face behind the whole hearted laughters, and long emails, yes Dunja she is....loving, caring, wholehearted, open, understanding, lively.....

More than a month since she left, and we are still having the lovely christmas chocolates which she had got for the team!!

Had wanted to ask her why German Country is called Fatherland, while the rest of the world is known as Motherland?

Regarding the motherland – fatherland..And what she said is: We use the team “mother earth”, which comes from the greek mythologies. Gaia was the mother of earth and the very first mother we got to know. The German term fatherland is coming from the middle age and meant the land which was given by the fathers to their son. Daughters were not respected by these days up to 1940 in Germany. Later, in the late middle age, more and more little fatherlands grew together as counties and finally as one land. Germany was not finally founded, little by little pieces were stitched together over the years. I think this term is just a bit younger than the one from the greek mythology and that is why it is used here.

She surprised me before returning by keeping at my desk, her lovely mouse/Note Pad...

But her surprised did not end there, there was this sweet letter from her with three more books!!!
The Kite Runner
Tuesdays With Morrris: Mitch Albom And
My name is Red: Orhan Panuk

to go on, the wonderful emails after that: From her to read are:

How to be good: A book recommended, but which is very very European is a book about a couple and their kids in England/ London. Their marriage is not the happiest and it describes a lot what goes wrong in our society in terms of divorce and letting down other people and/ or the daily fights people have often about stupid things. The author’s name is Nick Hornby and the books title is “How to be good”. I think it tells a lot of how people live here. The author is male but I was very surprised because I had thought that it would have been a women who wrote it.

Secret Life of Bees:

http://www.us.penguingroup.com/static/rguides/us/memory_keeper.html In life, we ought to make decisions, at the spur of the moment, and it effects us through out....small or big..We have a little (may be 50%) similar movie in India named Anjali..

http://www.amazon.com/Glass-Castle-Memoir-Jeannette-Walls/dp/074324754X

http://www.amazon.com/Angelas-Ashes-Memoir-Frank-McCourt/dp/068484267X/ref=pd_sim_b_7 Glass Castle & Angela’s Ashes Memoir: Is it really the true story of Jeannette & Angela? Have not heard of her before, but indeed brave..Poor souls, how fortunate we are; yet keep cribbing over the nitty gittys...

Her daugther’s name is Ellen -originally the name is from Greece and means something like “the lightening sunray”. Her son’s name is Juri (you pronounce it Youri) which means “strong and brave” . Hoping to see them too with her, next time we meet; untill then, when I read each of these books I would remember her.

Talents Differ; all is well and wisely put....

Some people just keep complaining, some run away from responsibility and just want rewards, some not take up the available opportunity, some run with the hare and hunt with the hounds. People are just how they are, and we cannot change them! But why grudge, jealousy, hatred, showoff? Life is short, we live only once and there is so little time for what needs to be done, So much to be done.......

AND SOME PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS MEANT BY ACCOUNTABILITY,RESPONSIBILITY AND LOYALTY OF A GROUP !!!! FEED BACKS ARE NOT AS TASTY AS KICK BACKS BUT A LADDER FOR IMPROVEMENT !! JUST DO NOT LOOSE AN OPPORTUNITY.......

Don’t waste time and energy hating and fighting others. Walk in love and wage war against hatred. Love is the best way to fight back !!!

Love, Live, Learn......but I am not sure if I can wage a war against hatred for sure....because it leads to only further misunderstanings....Whatever has to happen will happen, and no body can stop an idea whose time has come.....

Complaining only reinforces pain and discomfort; thus causing one to suffer even more. It operates on the principle of escalation. Complaints, by themselves accomplish nothing and they only divert you from taking constructive steps that can improve the situation.

Everything in this universe is complete and has a reason for their existence. Life is a mix of all the above things. Different people, different attitudes these differences are also gifted by almighty. So there should be a reason behind all the differences. Every one is just doing their roles as per script written by the almighty.

Life is not too long or too short.

Its length is perfect to do our roles.

Har har Mahadev! 'Om Poornamda:....'

Somehow, these days, what echoes my ears is the poem Fable; by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

THE MOUNTAIN and the squirrel
Had a quarrel;
And the former called the latter "Little Prig."
Bun replied,
"You are doubtless very big;
But all sorts of things and weather
Must be taken in together,
To make up a year
And a sphere.
And I think it no disgrace
To occupy my place.
If I'm not as large as you,
You are not so small as I,
And not half so spry.
I'll not deny you make
A very pretty squirrel track;
Talents differ; all is well and wisely put;
If I cannot carry forests on my back,
Neither can you crack a nut."