Journey into 2015

Everything in this world comes with an expiry date, including you and me. Each of us would have our own manufacturing defects, some that can be rectified, some that cannot be. There is no use of generalising things. We are all God's creations, Unique in each of our own ways, but similar in others. Good to forgive, best to forget, Easy to say, Difficult to do. Tough time never last, but tough people do.

Recently someone said about a team/group: 'Negalu Kutathil Ninu Paravekunavar anoo'; ever since I had been wondering the English word for 'Para'; is it backstabbing? Not exactly. Is it ditching? Not exactly. Had a discussion on this, and realised; thereis no word to describe that in any other language..backstabbing comes close, 'Athu MalayaleesinteSwantham Kala Aanu' - Again hurting generalisation. We find this quality in people across, and not all malayalees are like this. What should you do, when someone tell this on your face? Keep your mouth shut? If I had to keep my mouth shut, God would not have given me the ability to speak. So is it wrong to open our mouth? No, then realised we should not react but respond. We cannot fix everything in this world, but just let go. Who realise the worth of being together will stay together, there is no use trying to impose on others. Helping one in need, being there to support can happen only when there are people around and they realise and appreciate the needs with eyes and ears open. Feel sorry and sad, to see people only cribbing, not realising how the responsibility and help rendered by being in a group has given them their own free time to do what they want, in the way they want to do it.

Talents differ, all is well and wisely put. Not sure, how my mother could be so responsible and accountable, without expecting anything in return, so very independent. Working hard with her heads down, with so much of love for her neighbours, friends, and relatives weather it be the washer man, milk man, postman. Keeping a smile on her face, with pain in her heart with love for her brothers.

This is one thing I would like to imbide in me - So strengthen the family bond - to keep the spirit of India alive - Not to adopt what is bad, but keep up the good in 2015 and am glad that I have no brother. (For each their own! Scnecdoche and no pun intended) Brother could meet sister and do much, make things positive; but sister is left saying:


Brother, I am fire
Surging under ocean floor.
I shall never meet you, brother -
Not for years, anyhow;
May be thousands of years, brother.
Then I will warm you,
Hold you close, wrap you in circles,
Use you and change you -
May be thousands of years, brother.


There is a relationship between sisters that is unlike other sibling bonds

- Jodi Picoult'' through 'My Sister's Keeper'


Walls and Bridges are made by the same material; but one unites people while other divides...It is upto each of us to be a bridge or a wall. You cannot blame the skin and blood. Circumstances, controls and priorities matter.

Life is like a journey on a train, with its stations, with changes of routes and with accidents!
We board this train when we are born and our parents are the ones who get our ticket.
We believe they will always travel on this train with us.
However, at some station our parents will get off the train, leaving us alone on this journey.
As time goes by, other passengers will board the train,many of whom will be significant- our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.
Many will get off during the journey and leave a permanent Vaccuum in our lives.
Many will go so unnoticed that we won't even know when they vacated their seats and got off the train!
The train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes and farewells.
A good journey is helping, loving, having a good relationship with all co passengers..and making sure that we give our best to make their journey comfortable.
The mystery of this fabulous journey is we do not know at which station we ourselves are going to get off.
So we must live in the best way - adjust, forget, forgive,and offer the best of what we have.
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to leave our seat, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train oflife.
Thank you for being one of the important passengers on my train...don't know when my station will come. Don't want to miss saying:"Thank You"

Thank you all for being part of this journey. Hope to see a positive and inspiring 2015 ahead.

PK

Glad to have watched this movie....Had been to a cinema theater after couple of years, and this was worth it! Like 3 Idiots/Munnabhai...could be because it is directed by Rajkumar Hirani.

Movie is the narration of a book PK by Anushka (Janani)to readers and finally has her father wisteling, who once send her an SMS 'Ashamed of you'.

As satire on God and God man; Aamir Khan is awesome as PK the Alien.The first half is flawless as the director stitches together implausible ideas to tell a very believable story. While as an audience you laugh at the absurdities, you also realize how true each of them holds in the Indian context. You also sense PK’s desperation, as you see him frantically persuade every religious custom available to him in an attempt to convey his plea to God.

Whether it be wrong number, or why human wear dress, or why different fashion between different religion, or is there any mark on individuals distinguishing religion, or the lie and theft being common on Earth and every one crazy about Money and Gandhi.

As PK lands on earth, there is love blooming in the hearts of Jagat Janani (Anushka Sharma) and Sarafaraz (Sushant Singh Rajput), a man from Pakistan she met in Bruges but seperates due to miscommunication.

Tapsvi Maharaj versus PK face-off and open criticisam can happen only in India; and to this religion, else this would have been banned or criticised heavily for sure. Jaggu's channel head (Boman Irani) helps them by using his channel as platform to expose Tapasvi. PK succeeds to unite Jaggu and Sarafaraz,but returning home is not easy for PK because he loves Janani, he takes two suitcases with audio tapes of her voice with him, and many spare batteries for his radio recorder. Movie ends with PK coming back on earth for more research with another alien.

Songs are awesome, and the one on Bhagavan reminds me of Maa in Thare Zamen pai. To reconfirm, that our maa is our bhagavan on earth!

A year of Hotels & Hospitals @ 2014

As I look back at 2014, it was a year of hotels and hospitals. Dreams comming true and getting shattered.

Live each day to the fullest, you never know if you have a tomorrow.

Love not just to be good or to make the world a better place out of some abstract moral responsibility, or to give up our hedonism. Connect with energy, it feels like excitement, euphoria and then love. Finding enough energy to maintain that state of love certainly helps the world,but it most directly helps us. It is the most hedonistic thing we can do.

Lead- Let your perception of beauty and iridescence lead your way. Places and people who have answers for you will appear more luminous and attractive. Help others on your way by all means possible.

Learn....what we know is just drops in the ocean, as is said, he who reads leads, so if you learn new skill sets, new things, it will help you in every walk of your life.

Live a legacy...Three deaths in three years, Two in four months. We never know when the time to say good bye is. Live a legacay, keep a mark with good deeds and actions, which would help the world and make a difference.

This year, have covered most of the present hotels and hospitals in and around Kakkanad and Kochi. Three lives shattered. Cannot come out of the shock of one of it, yet. Savithri Amma -Aunty - Why did you go away?

Desi Reading Time - AccessAbility

Enabled and Empowered, Shivani is a real life hero, who make us realise disability is not a disease, it is a situation, and we need to make things accessable for all. Inspiring, and best not only in this lot, but among many others. You can reach her at E-mail: shivani@accessability.co.in; mobile: (0091) 9310245743

Last couple of days had been a marathon reading of books by Indian author viz:

1. Half Girlfriend by Chetan Bhagat - A quick read, similary story line as most of the other books. Let people say anything, I still like his books. Reminds me of teenage days...Nancy Drews and Famous fives and short stories from Women's Era.

2. You'r dreams are mine now by Rabinder Sing - The book starts on a promising note, soon falls flat, and the whole concept of Politics goes wayward. The story itself drifts nonchalantly, and a reader, like me, fails to understand what the writer had in mind, or what message he eventually wanted to convey was the dream only letting the plant grow literally?

3. My Story by Kamala Das - Has been with me for quite some time, but for some reason, it took to me long...'Ende kadha' is a little different from this. My Story is simple and direct. But nothing much interesting.

4. Inheritence of Loss - By Kiran Desai,The first, and perhaps longest, lesson of the book is, kind of poverty - inherited. After that, we see a pattern of life of many people in India and how the least of them are treated, and how they treat each other including when the lucky few (in their eyes) get to the US. One fascinating insight is the Hindu attitude to Islam - that Islam is so strict and so counterintuitive to human behavior that no one actually follows it. The Hindu says, 'it makes them all hypocrites, they drink at home and try to look pius in public.'

It is a fascinating book, well written, well plotted,Reminded me of God of Small things by Arundathi Roy.

Here are some bits I like:

"One day you will be working for a MNC. There or here. Think of your children. If you stay in a developed country your children will earn a hundred thousand dollars for the same country they would be working for in India but making one thousand dollar. How can you enjoy the best?

One side travels to be a servant and the other to be treated like a king. Which side would you like your children to be?"

“the present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind”

“He learned to take refuge in the third person and to keep everyone at bay, to keep even himself away from himself”

“he had been recruited to bring his country into the modern age, but he could only make it himself cutting them off entirely, or they would show up reproachful, pointing out to him the lie he had become.

“Perhaps that’s why they had been so happy to learn a new tongue in the first place: the self-consciousness of it, the effort of it, the grammar of it, pulled you up; a new language provided distance and kept the heart intact”

“Eventually he felt barely human at all, leaped when touched on the arm as if from an unbearable intimacy dreaded and agonize over even a ‘How-do-you-do-lovely-day’ with the fat woman dressed in frisky pinks who ran the corner store. “What can I get you? Say that again, duck . . .” she said to his mumble, leaned forward to scoop up his words, but his voice ran back and out as he dissolved into tears of shops, and when he bought a shaving brush and the shop girl said her husband owned the same item exactly, at the acknowledgment of their identical human needs, the intimacy of their connection, shaving, husband, he was overcome at the boldness of the suggestion.”

”the unbearable intimacy of brand names”

“in this life, he remembered again, you must stop your thoughts if you wished to remain intact, or guilt and pity would take everything from you, even yourself from yourself”

“all the judge had worked so hard to separate would soften and envelop him in its nightmare, and the barrier between this life and eternity would in the end, no doubt, be just another such failing construct”

“What was a country but the idea of it? She thought of India as a concept, a hope or a desire. How often could you attack it before it crumbled?

“they liked aristocrats and they liked peasants; it was just what lay between that was distasteful: the middle class bounding over the horizon in an endless phalanx”

“Centuries of arguments had occurred between warring families, so many convolutions and tit-for-tats that there was no right or wrong anymore. Purity of answer was a false quest. How far back could you go, straightening things out?”

“Old-fashioned books is what I like. Not the new kind of thing, no beginning, no middle, no end, just a thread of . . . free-floating plasma . . .”

The retired grumpy judge, Jemubhai Patel, studied in a Victorian England, groomed by the Raj,all of which made him rise above his humble roots, to be a revered, fearsome(and very confused) judge...Sai, his orphaned grand daughter, exiled from the convent to be home schooled (by those delightful Bengali sisters Noni and her sister Lola) discovering the first flush of youth, the first pangs of love, with her Nepalese tutor Gyan...or Biju, the judge's cook's son who is moving from one restaurant job to another, as an illegal immigrant in New York.

All the characters are sharply etched, clearly defined and follow an often unpredictable trajectory of departures and homecomings. But for some reason, I thought soemthing was missing. Was it the hangover of 'My sisters keeper'by Jodi Picoult?

5. Unaccostomed Earth a collection of short stories from Pulitzer Prize winning author Jhumpa Lahiri.The title story of the book is about three generations, and the relationship between the three, the father, his daughter, Ruma, and her son, Akash. The Second 'Hell-Heaven'simple human emotions such as loneliness, love, jealousy and also describes how people change drastically over time.

The last is a set of 2 stories "Hema and Kaushik".The story revolves around two people who, despite being childhood acquaintances and their families being old friends, lead drastically different lives. Two decades after Kaushik's family stays with Hema's as houseguests, they meet again by chance, just days before they are to enter into completely different phases of their lives, and they discover a strong connection with one another.The entire story of Hema and Kaushik is divided into three parts.
"Once in a Lifetime"- The meeting and departures.
"Year's End"-Kaushik's life after his mothers death.
"Going Ashore" - Meeting after years - To depart for ever.

This was a good read.

Human Nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth - Nathaniel Hawthorne

6. No Looking Back -By Shivani Gupta:

No Looking Back is a deeply moving and inspiring narrative about surviving the challenges of disability in a country that takes little account of the daily difficulties and indignities faced by approximately fifteen per cent of the world’s population, whether in terms of infrastructure, legislation or awareness—a country that appears to believe that disability equals invisibility from the public discourse. Undeterred by the hand fate had dealt her, Shivani Gupta has chosen to champion the cause of the disabled everywhere and is today one of India’s best-known accessibility consultants. Her life is an extraordinary testament to true courage and the indomitability of the human spirit in the face of overwhelming odds.An incredibly true story, which touch our heart fill our eyes, and tell us there is so much more we can do, and how blessed we are. Shivani and Vikas also throws light on Team work, Love, vision, and so much more...I do not know how to Thanks Pooja for lending this book to me...

Control seems an illusion
All I do is live my destiny,
Happy or sad is up to me.
Possession seems an illusion,
As everyone was born free
To live their own destiny

Hired Guns Vs. Patriots

Basically Employees of today fall under two category viz: Hired Guns Vs.Patriots.

Hired Guns: Are one of the easiest employees to recruit and motivate who do what they do for cash rewards. They don't need nor desire recognition. Self motivated and looking for maximum compensation.

A patriot always go above and beyond their duties because they really believed in the company and it's ownership.

Long gone are the days when an employee remained with a company for 30 years before being rewarded with a gold watch and nice pension. The cornerstone of today's business model is agility. Things change in a quarter rendering well planned strategies obsolete and ineffective.

Your employer won't tell you that, though. Today's employer now more than ever will drain your personal talents for as little investment as possible. The code words are...

"We really need your help on this one...

"We know we can count on you to...

"We know it's a lot to ask but it would be great if...

Your response to any of these or similar request must be, "No problem, how much?"

Have no doubt, the moment your position becomes redundant or the business model changes you will hear, "Awfully sorry but..."

Most times your extra efforts will be to support a poorly developed project or initiative that will end in disaster.

Ask yourself this question, "Do I genuinely have a role to play in making the strategic decision that will affect my future here?"

If the answer is "No", then you should be paid for your extra efforts. If you choose to give up part of your life on someone else's whim then you are a patriot.

The company had expressed the need for you to tap additional personal resources why shouldn't they pay you for them?

Hired Guns are Easier to Work With

This may seem to be a counter intuitive statement. Most managers can't deal with a "take away" attitude frequently displayed by a hired gun. Hired guns will walk out on you for a better deal without remorse.

If management would view this attitude from the proper position it's really very simple. They are motivated by personal gain. Either their overhead cost is worth the revenue company generate or it isn't. If management feels they will gain more by making a change they have no hard feelings.

Turn the tables. If you had a seller who was under performing you would cut them and not lose a wink of sleep. Why is it wrong for an employee to fire you?

It's not a case of who need who more. It's a case of who need your business model in order to benefit and your business model needs whom in order to grow. They feel that they may be an employee but they are NEVER a subordinate.

A Hired Gun Will Tell You the Truth

Because the team members personal enrichment relies heavily on the decisions management makes they will be brutally honest and sure in their advice.

A patriot will sit at the conference table, eyes aglow with admiration hoping for another pat on the back and support your decision to drive off a cliff. Moreover, they will happily occupy one of the seats in the plummeting vehicle.

Rest assured, as soon as you have my resignation you are in trouble. Not because you are losing my resources but because the torpedoes they warned you are about to strike amidships and they'll be in the first lifeboat.

Patriots are Emotional Basket Cases

Hired Guns do'nt get into personal things they dO want to show up, do their job, count gold and leave. Their motivation is money so it all boils down to simple math. How do you calculate the emotional overhead required to keep a patriot happy? That's easy. The answer is "never enough".

From one perspective it may seem that these loyal followers may offer a less costly alternative to a hired killer. After all, an engraved shiny brass plaque or genuine acrylic trophy is much less expensive than a $10,000 bonus check.

Patriots are the need nancies which takes a managers psychological toll never accounted for. The constant need for recognition, understanding and reassurance is a which some managers would not like to carry.

Hired Gun's don't mind having lunch or the occasional cocktail but at the end of the day they find it so much easier when the relationship is based on a paycheck.

The "But" in Using Hired Guns

A hired gun will typically get the job done for you. But there are a few rules.

The first rule is that a hired gun will always use your rules against you. When you present a compensation plan to a hired gun there can be no deviations.

There can be no request for concessions. If the business is having a tough quarter because you made some poor business decisions that's on you. The answer is "No" so don't even ask.

Most good hired guns are pretty smart. If you are sandbagging commissions or using fuzzy accounting methods to calculate commissions we'll figure it out.

The deal is very simple. I kill the bear and you pay the bounty. Should I fail to deliver revenue you have an obligation to sever our relationship. Likewise, if the bounty paid or the hunting ground is less than advertised I, too have an obligation to sever the relationship.

If all you have to offer are hugs hired guns will not have much to discuss.

Well these are the two extremes - which are easy to deal with, but the real difficulty to to deal with the people in the middle...who keep shifting boats - It's difficult to assess them.

Today's Children Tomorrow's Grown-ups

Children's' lives are different from place to place. They may live in city apartments/bunglows/huts, in jungle villages, or on lonely farms. They may travel by car, camel or canoe. They speak different languages and play different games.

Wherever they are, children learn, work and play in the local ways and share in local customs. But the lessons they are taught and the games they play have a common purpose around the world;

Preparing them to be tomorrow's'grown-ups.

We should view them as they really are, as end points in evolution that lead us forward. But in order to learn to evolve they need our energy on a constant basis, unconditionally. The worst thing that can be done to children is to drain their energy while correcting them. This is what creates control drama in them. But these learned manipulations on the child’s part can be avoided if the adults give them all the energy they need no matter what the situation. That is why they should always be included in conversations, especially about them and you should never take responsibility for more children than you can give attention to.

Number of children one has is important because any one adult can only focus on and give attention to one child at a time. If there are too many children for the number of adults, then the adults become overwhelmed and unable to give enough energy. The children begin to compete with each other for the adults time. All the energy does not have to come from the parents alone. This could be from someone who takes care of them.

We should tell children the truth of every situation in language that they can understand. Treat their questions seriously, avoiding the temptation of giving fanciful answers, which is plainly for entertainment. We should always find a way to tell children the truth.

Happen to read 'The Prophet' again after quite some time; a book of 26 prose poetry essays written in English by the Lebanese artist, philosopher and writer Kahlil Gibran; was the motivation to write this, which in turn was Neil. The chapter on children in the book say:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer see the mark upon the path of infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrow may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness,

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.

And then I read this:

http://www.create-your-life.com/Parenting.html

Parenting Mystery:
As a parent, isn’t it my responsibility to teach my child honesty and respect?

NO.
We cannot learn for them, suffer for them, live for them, protect them from themselves or claim responsibility for their mistakes. We can offer guidance by being true to our soul, allow and inspire them to explore and be true to theirs. When we are responsible for ourselves, owning everything we think, say and do, we are doing our best to help our children train their bodies to perform as they intend it, and inspire them to express their love, through their gifts, in ways that best suit them. Love is the most important gift a parent can give their child.

The second most important quality for you to inspire in your child is to claim responsibility for themselves and every choice they make. IF YOU take responsibility away from your child in your attempt to SAVE them (from hurt, embarrassment, failure, or whatever reason you make up), you rob them of the opportunity to learn responsibility naturally, gracefully. Help them to see the simple choices available to them. Allow them to be responsible for their choices with nurturing support, not expectation or guilt. If they react with disappointment or hurt by the outcome of their choices, embrace them with love and respect by helping them see what choices they can make now to manifest their intention. The third most important quality you can inspire in your child is compassion: Feeling empathy for another and expressing love to help them through the difficulty they are facing.


Contact Create Your Life

To learn how you can inspire the qualities you want to nurture in your children, call the Life Strategies Coaches at Create Your Life! today at 480-788-6222. You can also reach Create Your Life! with any questions that you may have about parenting and inspiring the qualities you want to nurture in your children through the Contact Us page.