Thursday, January 08, 2015

Single, But not lonely



Indeed as mentioned in Times Life! by Eric Klinenberg,the author of Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone -

Living alone, feeling alone, being lonely and being isolated are four distinct conditions, but we often combine them. Singletons(People who live alone), are generally neither lonely or isolated. They are actually more likely to spend time with friends and neighbours than married people, and volunteer in civic organisation too.

In the past 50 years, living alone has become one of the most rapidly increasing social trends. India, along with China and Brazil, has recorded the fastest growth of single-person households.

People who are successfully married do relatively well on conventional happiness measure. Do they enjoy life more? Not sure. But then there are all those who marry and then divorce or separate.(or compromise and stay together). People who live alone tend to be happier than them. Human history is full of people living, trapped, in marriages that are lonely and isolating. Living alone is a way of escaping it. As hard as it can be to go solo, there's nothing lonelier than living with the wrong person.

Living alone comports with many of our most sacred modern values: freedom, control of one's own time and space, the search for solitude, the capacity to socialise on our own terms. This is appealing to millions of people around the world.

The disadvantages are that it's expensive, sometimes impossibly so. It can be lonely and if you get depressed while living alone, the problem can spiral out of control. Also, aging alone can be brutal, particularly if you are frail and poor.

Whatever you choose, life sometimes get so bogged down in the details, you forget you are living it. There is always another appointment to be met, another bill to pay, another symptom presenting, another uneventful day to be notched onto the wooden wall. We have synchronized our watches, studied our calendars, existed in minutes, and completely forgotten to step back and see what we've accomplished.

It is our interdependence that makes our independence possible.

We would one day, be removed from the rotation, God is like The rising Sun, 'Too bright in her losing eyes'; Giving light and heat. Both a necessity. But Light to be more than heat.



One swing set, will make memories, to give you in future, an ache of sentimentality. All fragile and fleeting, but it introduces you to ups and downs of human life gently and safely, and teach you : No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can't go all the way around. - As in the advertisement for the sale of the swing, in'The Fault in our Stars'. You have the freedom to make your choices, and when you do it; there is no regret, that you are living someone elses life.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

New Year: Rejuvenation, Renewal And Rebirth





James Allen, spiritual writer, reminds us:- " Every day is a new birth in time, holding out new beginnings, new possibilities and new achievements. "

We are all in the habit of making New Year resolutions only to see them getting broken in a matter of days or weeks. These resolutions may centre around career, health, education or may be about overcoming certain bad habits. But doing without any goal is no answer. We ought to know where we are going!

We need to be physically and mentally fit. We need faith to meet challenges of the unknown future. German theologian Paul E Billheimer wrote - " Life without love is a disaster. The person who has made the most spectacular success but reaches life's end without learning love has totally failed. Do not envy those in the limelight of publicity, those with scintillating intellects or those who have accumulated great wealth and all that it affords. If one hasn't leaned to love in the process, his life is a disaster. Look for opportunities to express this love, you will find them in plenty. As you go along, sow seeds of empathy, compassion and encouragement; appreciate and motivate people to do their best - your year will be enriched thereby.

Our sense of righteousness is coloured by our selfishness, greed and pride and hence we should guard againt these. Most conflicts among humans can be traced to a lack of concurrence on what constitutes righteousness. Life is often measured by time, andthose who waste time, are actually wating life. The fading of the pastyear and the dawn of the New Year must alert us to the need to live every moment of it. Since life is short we must determine to 'redeem time'. Procrastination, idleness and aimless drifting have proved to be very costly to many would-be achievers.

1. Try to get up early (you can accomplish 30% more during 5 am to 10 am)
2. Exerciseat least for 30 minutes 4 times a week (you have no choice on this)
3. Visualize positive things for 30 minutes every day.
4. If you do the three above, your behaviour will be impeccable.
5. Invest in the best clothes you can afford - along with good shoes (better dressed people earn 15%more - all things)
6. At work, do only things, whcih will increase your productivity. (Whatever you focus on - expands)
7. Outsource everything which is not your core competence. (Don't waste time on improving your weakness)
8. Reduce mobile billsby 30%. (Mobile phones are the biggest time waster)
9. Atleast take one risky decision, which you were always scared to take. (I don't want to die of boredom-do you?)
10.Take 2 vacations in a year.
11. Devote at least one day (sunday)for family only. No business calls, no laptops. Does not matter, how big business/position is.
12. Smile at everyone you meet (Even at the liftman)
13. Read at least 2 books in a year.
14. Call two old friends, whom you have not spoken for in years.
15. You have only 52 weekends,do not let anyone spoil it.

"See People When they are invisible" - (Because you saw me when I was invisible)- A very relevant statement from Princess Diaries.

There was this ugly girl, whom no one liked. But there was a guy who liked her and cared for her. And later when she bcomes aprincessshe calls him out of all prince to dance with her saying "you saw me when I was invisible" Very relevant- People seeing you when you are invisible to the world. We become visible only when we gain success.It is important to see people when they are invisible and bring out the best in them.

Omnis cellula e cellula.....





Bad Luck, Poor Lifestyle or faulty Genes, loss is a loss; especially to those directly effected and really close. With stain in the heart and memories to last as long as God wills, we need to keep moving ahead whatsoever. Not many can hide or run away from Cancer these days, not is a topic which seals the lips of the audience.

Today on hearing cancer, people ask - which stage? Where? Chemo or radiation? Tumour? Benign or malignant? And we do have internet to research and answer our questions; but what can be done to prevent or save the people?

The marks humans leave are too often scars. What has started has to end.

< As John Green writes in his book 'The Fault in our Starts'- " There will come a time when all of us are dead. There will come a time when there are no human being reamining to remember that anyone existed or that our species ever did anything. ...Everthing that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten. ......There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, andthere will be a time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God know's that's what everyone else does." The book is all about Hazel, Augustus, The Imaginery Book and author- 'An Imperial Affliction'& Peter Van Houten and of course Cancer. When you suffer you realise you do not even thave the right to say - 'THIS IS MY LIFE,IT BELONGS TO ME'; you get to battle cancer, you'll keep fighting; hearing cheesy sentiments like live your best today..It is a civil war with a predetermined winner. There are two kind of adults, - who scoured the earth in search of something to hurt; and then there were people who walked around zombically, doing whatever they had to do to keep walking around. And then there is me! The former editor of the British Medical Journal admits, raising temprature across the medical fraternity - Sudden deaths are the heaven for the deceased but hell for family and friends, Cancer gives us time to say bye. And so true....I had deep below my find feared road accidents, and still do. We cannot fanthom the pain of the sufferer. Insipite of the time given to realise we still feel the person is around somewhere for you, even after years....