Wedding - Way of Life

True to the core - "To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with". What one person cannot do - two can; and what one person can do, two can do still better. This is the basis of any society, team or family.

During riddle time there used to be a question - where do Divorce come before marriage? and now it appears that this is comming true in every walk of life.

Inspite of it, people spend so much of money on marriages, why?

1. Our culture is very old. Older the culture, bigger the burden, deeper the conditioning. "If its been around for so long, it must be right". Most actions are based on beliefs than rationale, with deep rooted traditions. So if you disagree, it makes you 'wrong', not 'different'.

2. Western influence is changing things: This is not a judgmental - but a factual statement. In the 50s you would have dutifully done what your parents said, in the 80s - you would have expressed your opinion but conformed anyway. Today you dare to consider the possibility of actually doing what you think - because you have seen that its possible. Does not make it 'right'.

If people are really in love they would not need an invisible string of marriage to hold on. The fact that one is needed suggests that peope couldn’t love enough to make it work.

People might not express - but somewhere deep down, most of the people as they grow up wants to get married; and some really do not want to. Belive it or not; it has not been a year, I heard by nephew and cousin of 5 years discussing, seeing my sisters marriage video - Will you get married when you grow up? I will; and the other said - no I will not. Guess that feeling is inculcated in the mind as we grow up, as we see the lives of people around.

Most of us would have witnessed parents have had the worst fight of their lives. They would swear not to talk to each other again. We would think they would leave each other; go their separate ways. But most of them have stuck to their vow to be with each other in thick and thin - untill death dead them apart. This thought held the family together.

This made me realize that relationships are not only about love but they are also about hatred, frustrations and disappointments;and marriage was that invisible thread which held peope together when the light of your love is wrapped around by the clouds of misunderstandings. It held people together during those weak moments of your relationship. No matter how much love you have for each other, sometimes there comes those weak moments and marriage held couples together during such tough times. But it no more does; same as is the case with Joint family system vis a vis Nuclear family.

But with people becoming economically and socially independent; and moving into an age of throw away times - anything that lasts long, repulse and so do commited long lasting relationships; untill and unless they are really strong.

Inspite of this, it is hilarious, how much of money people spend on wedding; when they could use it for other worth while purposes.

1) Costly wedding cards - How many of them are really preservied? Is this really needed? We say Go Green read on screen; and then why spend so much on wedding cards?
2) Long Guest Lists - Well you need to have your loved ones around, if required(not mandatory) when you move into a new beginning of your life; but it does not make sense to invite - every one you know - mind you; all the people you know are neither your friends, nor your loved ones.
3) Lavish speding - You might want to make your special day a memorable one; but this does not mean you need to spend lavishly for this day - spend all the life's earnings? You need to have a better life after your wedding, and not just a grand wedding day.

If you are destined to meet your Mr./Mrs. Right, and you are bound to be tied by the holy knot of wedding, you will be; God willing. But how much you spend for this one day or you make the rest of your life happy is upto you.

One person's cost is another person's review - a way of life. Good, let the people who have money and want to spend do it. But the irony is when it becomes a norm. When everybody want's to replicate the style of elite.

What is the guarantee that inspite of all the spend, the couple would live happily ever after?

It has become a routine, marriages, divorces & suicide. Either one of the partner or the parent. Now Pratyusha Banerjee; similar tragedies of Nafisa and Jiah Khan in recent times; and innumberable in all the years gone by who were all 'beautiful and talented girls'; most of them in love give up their life? Agree to Hemaji's tweet - “All these senseless suicides which achieve nothg! Life is God’s gift for us to live not for us to take at will. We have no right to do that,”

So very true - 90% of success in life depends on marrying the right person. The cost of Love - as Mr. Amari Soul rightly mention - Falling in love with the wrong person could cost you everything..

King of Good Times....

Whatever goes up has to come down...& It is only greed that can bring a person down.

Harshad Mehta, Lalit Modi, so many to name and now Vijay Mallaya. Missing my father to have a heated debate on this..as we had during the fall of big companies.

Once called the "King of Good Times" and "the playboy of the East" due to his extravagant lifestyle, Mallya and his companies have been embroiled in financial controversies and difficulties in recent years, and especially since 2012.

Mallya became the Chairman of United Breweries Group in 1983 at the age of 28, following his father Vittal Mallaya's death. Since then, the group has grown into a multi-national conglomerate of over 60 companies, with an annual turnover which increased by 64 % over 15 years. UB Group is an Indian conglomerate with interests in beverage alcohol, aviation infrastructure, real estate and fertiliser among others.

Vittal’s son and sole heir Vijay Mallya started Kingfisher Airlines almost on a whim in 2005, with a sudden announcement at a board meeting, disregarding warnings by his trusted lieutenants about a business which required insane amounts of cash and gave little or no returns. But once the airline was set up, anyone who travelled on it sang its praises due to excellent service standards, set by Mallya himself. However, never in all of its existence did Kingfisher Airlines turn in a profit though.

Today a consortium of 17 state-owned and private banks, led by State Bank of India have alleged that Mallya diverted some Rs 4000 crore of the money he borrowed from them to offshore tax havens like Mauritius and the Cayman Islands.

As per the disclosure of property - as required by MP's of Rajya Sabha, he has no houses. So what about all the lavish houses in Mumbai and Goa, where he had parties, the answer is; they are in the balance sheets of United Spirits Limited (USL), Mr Mallya's flagship spirits company, sold to UK-based liquor giant Diageo in 2013.

Diageo found the company it owned had 13 properties on its balance sheet, including Mr Mallya's sea-facing house in Mumbai, his bungalow on Sardar Patel Marg, Delhi and the splashy Kingfisher Villa in Goa.

So the liquor company had paid for a multitude of mansions for Mr Mallya's private use.

Diageo's scrutiny also suggested that as the airline's debt entangled Mr Mallya, a billionaire, USL signed an agreement with a company called PE Data, nominated by Mr Mallya, granting it first rights to buy these properties; but Diageo has done with the agreement, with PE after investigations, finding it to be a defunct company.

Clouds of uncertainty loom over Virat Kohli’s IPL team, Royal Challengers Bangalore (RCB).Mallya bought the Indian Premier League (IPL) franchise in 2008 for $111.6 million (about Rs 476 crore). RCB has reported substantial losses since then. Royal Challenge Sports Pvt Ltd (RCSPL).

Mallya resigned with effect from February 25, 2016, as chairman and non-executive director of United Spirits Ltd (USL) and as director of RCSPL, as part of a sweetheart deal with UK-based Diageo. RCB was owned by USL.

Mallya has come under intense scrutiny in recent weeks after a sweetheart deal he inked with Diageo, the current controlling owner of United Spirits, under which he is getting Rs 515 crore (USD 75 million) out of which has already paid USD 40 million,to exit from the board of the company founded by his family and taken to the top by him.

Grounding of Kingfisher Airlines in 2012, under huge financial stress, led to one-by-one unravelling of Mallya's huge business empire that once consisted of beer, spirits, fertilisers, engineering and aviation businesses along with huge real estate assets.

Read more at: http://www.moneycontrol.com/news/business/diageo-to-review-tribunal-order-says-3640mn-paid-to-mallya_5855761.html?utm_source=ref_article

Well he is still communicating with the world, without disclosing his whereabouts, that is the world we are living in today...

The Lone Fighter

Destiny has it's own ways. Life is full of various families and people. Some with all greatness, some a constant fighter, and some flighters.

Whatever she does - whenever I think of her and the life she lived - I count my blessings.

Youngest of the five siblings, when she saw her mother being burned alive in Mumbai; she was 5 years, with her eldest sister married, and three elder brothers in between them. Who knows if it was an accident, suicide or murder? The elder married daughter continued living in Mumbai, while the other four where brought to their Native land - where grandparents lived. Their father would very rarely visit them; so they grew up with their relatives untill the elder brother started earning, which he had to take upon soon. The youngest of the three brothers had mental disorder, might be because of the shock from viewing the death of his mother. Medicines kept him in control.

Things started appearing to get better with the second brother getting into an MNC. Elder brother going to middle east and settled. The second one too marrying his sweetheart. But slowly things started slipping again. Elder Brothers Wife started having issues with him spending for his family. Second one got into heavy drinking and drugs - his wife left him first, then he lost his job. Who is to be blamed? Destiny or lack of self control?

When she was of marriageable age, she had to look out for proposals by herself. Finally she got married, and like every women urged to be a mother. Alas 10 years of marriage, and she could not have her own babay. Finally they did adopt one.

Her elder brother's wife divorced him, they do not know the reason why, and he was not in touch with anyone at his home town; what happened to him? Did he fall prey to ISIS? Younger brother was supported by her, at times he would stop his medicine if no one reminded, which would add to the problems. Middle one too lost his job, and being addicted, for money started selling things. At times he would go to mumbai - sold gold bangles of his neice's who was married. So his elder sister asked him to stop comming home.

The younger sister neither had the will to leave them alone, nor had the skill to take care of them. She kept struggling with her financials, in laws and brothers. Hoping and praying that she is able to end her fights and have a peaceful life ahead.

Life..Death and Sibila....

നടി : കൽപന
കഥ : അക്ബർ കക്കട്ടിൽ
ഗാനരചന : ഒ.എൻ.വി
സംഗീതം : ഷാൻ ജോൺസൺ
പാശ്ചാതല സംഗീതം : രാജാമണി...
ഛായാഗ്രഹണം : ആനന്ദക്കുട്ടൻ
സംവിധാനം : രാജേഷ് പിളള
ദൈവത്തിന് ഒരു നല്ല സിനിമ കാണാൻ തോന്നിയിരിക്കണം. നടന്റെ കുറവുണ്ട> യി രു ന്നു . നല്ല നടനെ ദൈവം തെരെഞ്ഞെടുത്തു. നാടൻ പാട്ടിന്റെ മണി മുത്ത് കലാഭവൻ മണി അന്തരിച്ചു .ദൈവത്തിന് നല്ല സിനിമ തന്നെ കാണാം .... ആദരാജ്ഞലികൾ....

Well not only in the film industry but even outside.

Each passing day is a day closer to death. Nobody knows when that final moment to bid good bye is and then what next. Daily innumerable; somebody, somewhere. But when among them if anyone is ours its unbearable, especially when we know that it could be at anytime immediate; but not sure when.

Life is a miracle, our body is the temple of holy spirit who lives within. There is no other heaven than in between our loved ones; hold them tight and never let them go...Just as air is everywhere but we at time need fan to feel it; visiting temples and praying hard for peace and good health helps.


Jan 10th she was hospitalised, 12th was her surgery and on 24th it was said she would leave at the most for 2 days; but it is only Reghus prayes that is holding her. Hats off to him, and his courage.

When in hospital, me and her sister had disucssed about Kala Bhavan Mani and so many other people. But never knew they would all leave us soo soon, when she is still battling in the hospital.

When people have been to Moon, Mars and around the world decades before, when atom bombs and hydrogen bombs are manufactured, when there was penicillin in the 1940s; why is still there no vacine or cure for cancer? If Xray was found long back in 1895; why does it take so long to detect cancer? Is it true that the pharmaceutical industry would never release a new drug which cured cancer even if they accidentally found one? Is it because curing cancer would cut into the profits of the super-rich owners of the pharmaceutical industry?

True there is still no cure for diabetes or BP too, but people live a long life if these diseases including cancer are managed well! People are slowly realising to peacefully coexist with the deases. And it appears that those not having any of these diseases, and those who neither drink or smoke are dying sooner?

Could be because we are surrounded by carcinogenic stuff! And most of the sources are completely lawfully produced products.

Fifty Shades....by E.L. James

Have you heard about 50 Shades of Grey? If you are an English novel lover and have not heard, you are most likely living in a cave. Women everywhere are buzzing about this bestselling erotic novel, which tells the story of a wealthy entrepreneur’s affair with an innocent college student by First-time author E.L. James. (Real name is Erika Mitchell (born 7 March 1963)from London)

James has turned 50 Shades into a trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed. In E.L. James' bestselling Fifty Shades of Grey, one of Christian Grey's most endearing qualities is that he is a very successful businessman. So successful he may have purchased 49 of his 50 shades. The 27-year-old dropped out of Harvard to start his own business in Seattle and Grey holds the illustrious title of Most Successful U.S. Businessman Under the Age of 30 it is "a world leader in communication technologies, sustainable energy and intelligent systems development." The company also focuses on mergers and acquisitions, buying underperforming companies and, ahem, whipping them into shape. While Christian Grey may be fictional, there are still some valuable lessons to be learned from his success in the boardroom and the bedroom.

Here are seven traits that successful CEOs can learn from 50 Shades of Grey: (Courtesy MSN)

1. Resilence:

Christian Grey may be private about some aspects of his personal life, but his rags-to-riches story (born to a crack addict mother, adopted by a well-to-do Seattle family, a billionaire by the age of 25) is well known. His journey from poverty to success taught him resilience--a lesson he took into his bedroom, too.

The best CEOs know that the best businesses are worth pursuing and that failure is just another lesson on the road to success. As Steve Jobs said, "If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.”


2. Be Passionate

Passion is what drives the best companies. As Zappos founder Tony Hsieh said, "Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion.” A passionate leader can recruit equally passionate team members, raise capital from driven investors, and keep their teams willing and able to put in the long hours necessary to build a successful company. But passions can also cloud a CEO's judgment, lead to poor choices, and mislead a leader about their business prospects. Christian Grey has very singular passions, but keeps them completely controlled and entirely out of the workplace-- sublimating his passions into career drive. Great corporate leaders know how to balance passions, letting them drive a company, but keeping them in check and in perspective.

3. Find the Right Team Members


When Christian first met Ana, he almost instantly knew that he wanted her to become his, shall we say, team member. He knew that she had certain desirable characteristics that would make her a valuable partner. To recruit her, he set about learning everything he could about her before wooing her on to his, um, team. Careful recruiting is the key to growing a successful business. The best leaders know that they alone don't have all the required skills to build and run a successful company. They must self-assess their own skill sets and then use that information to hire people with skills that will complement and buttress their own. CEOs also need to know their team members' strengths and weaknesses and take the time to learn what makes them tick, what makes them miserable, and what makes them excited. This knowledge can help a CEO -- or someone like Christian Grey --know which skill to apply in which situation to ensure success.

4. Commit to Learning

Over the course of Fifty Shades, Christian makes a commitment not just to Ana, but to learning how to be in a committed relationship. Competent CEOs know that they don't know everything. As companies grow, the most thoughtful and effective leaders make learning an active part of their day, seeking advice, consulting with experts, and encouraging their team to do the same. If learning becomes an active part of corporate culture, companies can stay agile and responsive in a quickly changing environment.

5. Be A Constructive Critic

One of the most important skills for a CEO to have is the ability to be great at difficult conversations. While in Fifty Shades Christian's most challenging conversations were usually held in the bedroom and not the boardroom, CEOs do need to be able to have uncomfortable talks with employees, investors and themselves. Because of his capable way with words, Christian was able to tell Anastasia about his singular sexual proclivities, and offer constructive criticism so she could learn and grow as a companion. Good leaders need to be ready and able to deliver critical feedback in a way that that is encouraging and not demoralizing; to give feedback that teaches the recipient how to succeed.

6. Be Respectful

A good CEO knows that respect is something you earn: from the customer, employees, investors and, eventually, the industry at large. To earn respect, listen to people, treat your employees like people; not like subordinates, work hard, recognize and reward effort and be genuine. Treating people with respect also breeds happiness and the happier your customers are the more likely they will stay, grow and refer others to your company. Same goes for team members, investors, and, of course, boyfriends or girlfriends. Christian tried to be respectful of Anastasia's boundaries, but his refusal to compromise about their relationship resulted in her leaving him in tears at the end of the first book. While Christian had two sequels in which to make it up to Anastasia, businesses may not get a second or third chance to woo a customer back. Treating everyone with respect from the get-go is a far more productive choice.

7. Be Risk Aware (and Tolerant)

Building a business--or a relationship--is all about taking risk. The best CEOs recognize risks and figure out ways to manage it whether bringing in oversight teams or using scenario planning to devise strategies in advance or, even better, devise ways to leverage risk and turn it into opportunity. Still, there is being risk tolerant and there is taking unnecessary risks that can jeopardize a business.

While Christian says, "risky decisions have never bothered me," he did have Anastasia Steele sign a Non Disclosure Agreement before revealing his big secret.

Well the book as the name suggests has fifty shades of Grey's character. It made me to research on the concept called BDSM, and not just Vanella - which I had never heard before - BDSM is a variety of erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle. It is made up of:
BD - Bondage & Discipline.
DS - Domination & Submission.
SM - Sadism & Masochism

Very scary even to read - Don't know why and how people find pleasure in pain.

As the authoress E.L. James blog say about Christian Grey who exercises controll in all things:

his world is neat, disciplined, and utterly empty—until the day that Anastasia Steele falls into his office, in a tangle of shapely limbs and tumbling brown hair. He tries to forget her, but instead is swept up in a storm of emotion he cannot comprehend and cannot resist. Unlike any woman he has known before, shy, unworldly Ana seems to see right through him—past the business prodigy and the penthouse lifestyle to Christian’s cold, wounded heart.

Will being with Ana dispel the horrors of his childhood that haunt Christian every night? Or will his dark sexual desires, his compulsion to control, and the self-loathing that fills his soul drive this girl away and destroy the fragile hope she offers him?

Read the Trialogy if you want to know more...Well why is the movie banned in India and not the book?

Vettah

So many back to back deaths in films industry and around now all in 40's. Director Rajesh Pillai of Traffic fame, passed away on Saturday, the 5th of March 2016.

Vettah just released on Friday and he was in hospital to bid good bye for ever on Saturday; indeed - We do not choose life, life chooses us. Life is a hunt, we choose either to hunt or be hunted.

"The biggest success for any crime thriller is to open as many loops, confuse the audience, surprise them with the final revelation and smartly close all loops. Rajesh Pillai checks the first two off the list but misses the last two. This mind game involving a criminal (Kunchacko Boban with a sly smile trying to look evil) who exploits the minds of 2 investigating officers Sadly the cops in the film are people lacking the common sense of school kids what with they not bothering to check the precedents of the criminal in their custody or failing to trace the origin of all those secret messages they are getting."

Kunchaco Boban is the actor who had to do bulk of the acting and it was a sincere attempt from him portraying the mystery character of Melwin to perfection. There were different phases and the character passes through desperate situations and he was successful with his acting. At times he had to convey something through mere looks or smile and he was upto the task. Well he did what Manju did in How old are you?

Indeed Rajesh Pillai did leave a legacy and a big question mark in the minds of many, at least me - may be because I am around that age...

Siblings Estrangement

Happen to view Malayalam Actress Kalpana's interview with Britas in Kairali TV. Did not know her relationship with Urvashi was estranged. So is it a common phenomenon?

This is what most parents do not want to happen, well there are exceptions everywhere though; and it appears that only 26% of 18-65 reported having a highly supportive sibling relationship; 19% has apathetic one, while 16% has hostile, in an Oakland University survey.

Siblings do stop speaking, why ties break down and how real families reconcile, do vary from case to case. But Brother and sister estrangement is a common unspoken phenomenon. Most siblings in contentious relationships still feel pulled towards one another.

Most of the times, it is rivalry that turns to strife. As kids, brothers and sisters fight. They get angry for stealing toys or crossing invisible boundaries. The ability to fight with your siblings and resolve those conflicts is an important developmental achievement. Siblings who never learn to manage these conflicts are most at risk for adult estrangement. You have no incentive to remain in contact. You just want to stay away.

There are two personality types who appear prone to being estranged by siblings: those who are extremely hostile and those who are grievance collectors. Those with successful careers and fulfilling lives are less likely to fixate on the past and even enjoy over-coming their 'underdog' reputation.

Completely cutting off a sibling, regardless of how much it may be deserved, has serious ramifications. Those who initiate estrangement often feel deep regret later. We have our parents for at the most say 30-50 years, but we have our siblings for 50-80 years, and they are the only person who remembers your childhood, and you have nothing to say to them? It's tragic, Fight open up...