Emotional Intelligence

Yet another interesting training session from Sudeepta Banerjee.

Exercise:

1)Strike Six Letters to form one Word:
B S A I N X L E A T N T E A R S

2)Write down, Your Name, Role, and one Emotion you display the most

3)Questions to give you a general idea of how much you know about being EI. Choose the option which reflects what you would do in the situation. Give your score as – 1 Strongly disagree, 2 Disagree, 3 Neither Agree Nor Disagree, 4 Agree and 5 Strongly Agree


Why and What is EI

From the thalamus, a part of the stimulus goes directly to the amygdala while another part is sent to the neocortex or "thinking brain". (An Amygdala Hijack is an immediate and overwhelming emotional response out of proportion to the stimulus because it has triggered a more significant emotional threat. The amygdala is the part of our brain that handles emotions. During an Amygdala Hijack, the amygdala "hijacks" or shuts down the neo-cortex.)
EI Helps us to:
Influence
Empathies
Self control (how we respond)
Accurate Self Assessment
Self Confidence
Emotional Self Awareness
EI Effects:
Performance at work
Physical health
Mental health
Relationship

It provides awareness and ability to manage our emotions in a healthy and productive manner.
IQ gets you hired, but EQ gets you promoted or fired.
Rational Vs. Emotional

EI Competency: Can be divided into four - quadrants - Self/Social & Recogniton/Regulation

1) SELF AWARENESS (Self Recogniton)
Recognize and understand moods, emotions and drives

2)SOCIAL AWARENESS (Social Recognition)
Pick up on external crises; works if we have empathy, Organizational awareness and is service oriented

3) SELF MANAGEMENT (Self Regulation)
Control or redirect disruptive emotions or impulses. Think before act. Self control, adaptability

4) RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT (Social Regulation)
Building network. Inspirational leadership, develop others, influence, change catalyst, conflict management, Bld. Bonds, Team work and collaboration


Practice EI Competency
1) SELF AWARENESS (Self Recogniton)
Learn difference between thought and feeling
Ask how you feel and be honest
Be open to input from others

2)SOCIAL AWARENESS (Social Recognition)
Look for non verbal areas and verbal ones
Share and be honest about your feelings
Be consistent – match spoken and unspoken words.
Be Kind – where ever possible
See from other persons perspective

3) SELF MANAGEMENT (Self Regulation)
Monitor your self talk
Reframe an irritating situation into a problem solving exercise
Use Humour
Deep Breath – Never Underestimate
Remove yourself from the situation and keep moving

4) RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT (Social Regulation)
Share your passion and enthusiasm for the job and the organization it is contagious
Create an inspiring work environment
Engage in creative brainstorming
Be willing to coach or mentor others and be open to being coached yourself!

EI – Key Skills

Quickly reduce stress
Recognize and manage your emotions
Connect with others using non verbal communication
Use humor and plan to deal with challenges
Resolve conflicts positively and with confidence

This is done by:
Perceiving
Understanding
Facilitating
Managing

Some Techniques:

The Ventilation Fallacy
a) Deep Breaths
b) Go for a walk
c) Refresh Thoughts

Don’t Brood, Distract
Exercise
a) Complete small tasks
b) Reframe the situation
c) Help others

The Artful Critique

a) Give proper constructive feedback
b) Specific, with solution preferably face to face
c) Show empathy

Set the Emotional Tone


Exercise 1:
Realize when you were stressed
Identify the stress response
Discover and use the stress busting technique that works best for you
Develop emotional awarness
Non – Verbal communication
Exercise 2:
List your team members – family/office
Identify what triggers stress level of them
Identify the stress busters
Exercise 3:
Take away – To do from the training

One Small Step; One Giant Mess - Ice Age

Well it could have been the fifth film of the series, but for us it was the first. Scrat's epic pursuit of the elusive acorn catapults him into the universe where he accidentally sets off a series of cosmic events that transform and threaten the Ice Age World. To save themselves, Sid, Manny, Diego, and the rest of the herd must leave their home and embark on a quest full of comedy and adventure, travelling to exotic new lands and encountering a host of colorful new characters.

Happy to see Neil jumping on his seat, and full of laught.

Don't Dis your Ability

Are you Anxious? - Remove anxiety.

Being lonely and being alone are different; don't be afraid. Ensure you have

1 Peace
2 health -, physical therpy
3 financial security

When you are hurt, pain would stay; We are not computers without any feelings, Things change from one day to another, Be prepared. People cannot treat counterparts like garbage.

It was nice to hear B.K. Shiva from Brahmakumari's - talk -

"Acceptance, approval and appreciation is what everyone need.

Criticism, ridicule, is not what people want.

Counselor is a profession because they are ready to listen They are non judgemental .. Bonding and love is with parents

Don't resend and reject anyone who has made a mistake what is needed is support and healing as they are in pain. When advise don't work in physical pain it would not work during emotional pain.

Say you understand... Say you are right, your feeling is so natural... Give people the willingness to come and share with you everything... As every soul needs acceptance... They go to where they get acceptance.. Say I am ready to hear the truth. Focus on solution... Say whatever has to happen has happened.. Our role is to empower people... Not to judge or correct them.. They are already in pain and hurt...
"

Don't let your self down. Yet another inspiring TED Talk by Muniba Mazari; Muniba Mazari Is an Artist and a Motivational Speaker. Muniba Mazari Baloch participated as a motivational speaker at various conferences and forums. She is also a fellow Piscean, and works as an anchor at PTV, the first wheelchair-bound anchor, and also the first wheelchair-bound model for the prestigious Toni&Guy in Pakistan and the brand ambassador for The Body Shop in Pakistan, and one of the Ponds Miracle Women also working as brand ambassador for "Chughtai Lab". She met with and accident at the age of 21 and was bound to wheel chair.

"A person who fight with self, with a big smile on face is a warriors - When we are in difficulty, many people leave, one who are supposed to stay with us including - Life becomes pointless, aimless, powerless - Instead of crying for the people who are not meant to be with us, for what is lost - stop cribing, stop crying - Add colours to your life - Let art keep you alive - from adversity. People don't have time - Make yourself financially strong, become professional. Life becomes easy - Be happy, Be contant - Keep aiming for higher goals.

Some things shake us from inside, we feel devistated. Change the persception .....Tell people you are happy as you are - we have souls, we are alive - let us live - don't dis our ability. Explore what you have. You are not caged, you have a soul, a mind free - aspire to inspire, nothing should stop you. Have big dreams, plans. Be grateful for what you have , and you will have more. Don't cry and crib, Excel, grow, convert adversity into opportunity. Don't let anyone dis your abilities.

Life is a test, when you were born, you did not know how difficult it would be. Through her work and life story, Ms Mazari aspires to inspire those who lose hope. The only message she gives to the world is that 'You are the hero of your own life story and heroes Never Give Up!'."

Life is a matter of priority - Friendship/Relationship is precious

Life is a matter of priority. What is ones priority, vary from person to person; so also the way they deal with it. For each their own.

Nothing last forever. One needs to find time, to maintain their relationship. Life goes on, and if we get into the bog of it, there is no comming out.

It is a personal choice, we need to move in circle, keep moving ahead, or a mix of both. For some - parents and siblings are important, for others spouse and children, for some friends and foreign lands, or for others career. Some enjoy having reunions, while others consider it to be a waste of time. It is a matter of choice, preferances.

It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith to make relations last. People of same wavelength, of similar taste come closer, get together well, have many things to share. Even if the job, people around, try to break them, if their bonding is stong, nothing will break it. It is not a matter of being thick skinned - no matter how the society take it, or people talk about it.

When nobody can take away your pain, never let anybody take away your Happiness! Be Cool and Happy.

Remember - If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. No plan is bigger or above his divine plan.

Religious Conversion? Unrest

Nothing new, but very painful indeed. We are all born human, why can’t we leave and live as one?

As many as 16 young Muslims went missing from Kerala over the past one month and some of them may have sent messages to their parents that they have joined the Islamic State, sources said on Saturday.Most of them were from the districts of Kasaragod and Palakkad and sources said the group included seven couples and two children.Security agencies suspect they may joined the terrorist outfit Islamic State (IS) in Iraq and Syria.

It seems they have send a message to their family members saying "We are not coming back. Here there is Divine Rule. You also should join us" read one of the messages while the other message said, "We have joined IS to fight US for attacking Muslims", Mustafa said. The veracity of these messages are yet to be checked.

Thinking is the highest mental activity present in man. suddenly aristocratic, upper-caste Hindu Kamala Das, lover of Sree Krishna(Hindu God), descendant of rajas, decides to embrace Islam.. On 16 December 1999,at the age of 65, amidst a storm of controversy, in a one minute home ceremony, she converts……She said - Life has changed for me since Nov. 14 when a young man named Sadiq Ali walked in to meet me. He is 38 and has a beautiful smile.
In her novels and autobiography she wrote much about eroticism and the need of sex for woman… She married at age of 15 to a 35 year old man, and literally got raped in the first night.. We have to believe that she wasn't satisfied by her husband and she was yearning for true love…. That's why after her husband's death, when sadiq came into her life she easily gave up …But sadiq was determined to convert kamla to Islam by playing the love saga.. It has to be believed that he has got mental and physical support in playing the role . He never loved her truly, but he just wants to convert her to Islam… It was clearly a sign of LOVE JIHAD…. Yes, Kamala das was one of the earliest victim of love Jihad, which is still happening in kerala. According to Government records about 9000 Hindu girls got converted to islam by falling prey to the false love of muslim boys. Most of them undergone through the same fate of Kamla Das.
Later, Madhavikutty(Kamla) felt it was not worth it to change one's religion and said "I fell in love with a Muslim after my husband's death. He was kind and generous in the beginning. But I now feel one shouldn't change one's religion. It is not worth it.".

But It was Too Late for her ,for another conversion back to Hinduism . She lived and died rest of her life as a Muslim painfully….

People go to any extend, to convert you. The most divne form – in the name of love to fear.
There are so many people walking around, trying to preach and prove Christianity is only right.

And even within them, there are so many differences of opinions. When will we stop fighting, and realise that we are all one?

Malarvaadi Arts Club

A lovely tribute to friendship is Malarvaadi Arts Club the 2010 Malayalam film directed by Vineeth Sreenivasan in his directorial debut, and produced by Dileep.

The story is about the life of 5 friends Prakashan,Santhosh,Purushu,Praveen and Kuttuin from a small village called Manissery. Prakashan (Nivin Pauly) has a fiery temperament; he would do anything for the people he loves, for the cause he believes in. In a moment of financial crisis, Kumaran (Nedumudi Venu) (their mentor who formed malarvadi club) makes the group take up music once again. On the way, the best singer Santhosh (Shraavan) in the group gets a chance to attend a reality show and once he emerges the champion,which is followed by misunderstandings, separation and a grand reunion in the end.

It is a simple story that unveils at a leisurely pace and often, in a disturbingly and predictable way; Nedumudi Venu has a brief but relevant role. Kumaran's desire to see 5 of them together, make me think of my grandfather - how every parents would want to see their children together always; and even someothers who are not just parents but more than parents.

Indeed a thought provoking movie.

The Year I Met You - Cecelia Ahern

Jasmine loves two things: her sister Heather and her work. And when her work is taken away she has no idea who she is.

Matt loves two things: his family and the booze. Without them he hits rock bottom.

One New Year's Eve, their path collide. Both have time on their hands: both are at crossroads. But as the year unfolds, through moonlit nights and suburban days, an unlikely friendship slowly starts to blossom.

Memories do not last for ever, fresh memories erase off the old ones. Thinking out of control Jasmine turned into gardening to maintain control, thinking it would bend to her will, but realised that it will not. If we try to grow where something, even a part of us has died, we will experience sickness. It is better to move, uproot overselves and start afresh; then we will flourish. Miracles only grow where you plant them.

We do not know the other person, we do not know anything about their life, but if the person is not lonely in your company.

Which is the better song? " Paradise City" or " Love is a Battlefield".

Often the slow pace of change can be painful, lonely and confusing, but without us realising it happening, it happens. But it is thanks to the slowness that we remember the journey, we reserve the sense of where we were, where we are going and why. Destination completely unknown, we can value the crossing.

This wasn't just my journey, this wasn't just about me falling down and a man rescuing me, though I did trip and you fell and love did happen for me and was mended and repaired for you. This is about you and me, our fall and rise with the seasons, and about what happened when one door closed for both of us. I don't know if I would be this woman now if it weren't for you, and you may not even think you did anything. Most people in life don't have to actively do anything to change us, they simply need to be. I reacted to you. You affected me. You helped me. You were the oddest friendship, the kindest loaned ear.

You gave me your key. You did the same. I helped you help me, you helped me to help you, that's the way it must be or the very idea of help would be obsolete. I always thought that being helped was a loss of control, but you must allow someone to help you, you must want someone to help you, and only then can the act begin.

We are constantly evolving; I suppose I have always known that, but because I always knew that, I feared stopping, and it is ironic that it was only when I finally stopped that I moved the most. I know now that we never truly stop, our journey is never complete, because we will continue to floursih - just as when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfuly.