Being Judgemental

Making judgement is fine and needed for living; being judgmental meaning - being overly critical in an unhelpful way, in ways that have harmful or negative consequences is harmful. Here are five signs of being judgemental:
1. Making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others.
2. Having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favour
3. Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others; being inclined to believe the worst.
4. Moving very quickly from judgments of the form "This action is morally wrong" to ones of the form "This person is morally corrupt."
5. Acting as if you can know that what so-and-so did was wrong even though you know much less about the context of so-and-so's action than so-and-so.

Being judgmental distorts our perception of other people, of ourselves and of what matters most in living a well-lived human life.

We judge others because we need to feel better about ourselves. It may make us feel superior or secure in the short-term, but the long-term stress of never feeling good enough can lead to a host of health issues.

How easy it is to be judgemental about others. Most of us are good at it; we judge on how the cricketers should have played; how the soldiers should have fought; who are we to judge and how are we to know what exactly is going at that place, at that point in time – there will be physical, emotional, external and internal factors determining decision making

Being Non judgemental can lead to lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress-related illnesses.

Tame the judgemental you and bring out zen-fullness; here are few tips:

Become aware of your behaviour: admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery,

Believe in yourself: You don't need to judge others, because you're awesome. So believe in that, and remind yourself of it every day. When you feel truly content and comfortable in your own skin, you'll likely discover that you find less fault in others.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes: Remember, you make the choices you do because of your unique upbringing and life circumstances. Not everyone has had the same experiences, challenges and blessings you have had. Be empathetic and understanding.

Stop gossiping: Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal other person’s dignity, honest reputation and credibility; which are challenging to restore. When your feet slip, you can always recover your balance, but when your tongue slips you cannot recover your words.

Watch your language: Don't tell people what they 'should' do, or deem a choice to be right or wrong, bad or good. That's applying your moral code to someone's actions – and it's up to others to decide what's right for them.

If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know about you, don’t feel bad. Just remember, “Dogs bark, if they don’t know the person”

The sooner you break the rule, the better off you are

There is no rule to cling on to the past, except for your parents may be to an extend; because of whom you are born. The sooner you break that rule, the better off you are. Is it true? Depends on at what stage of life you are in. Living in the present means different priorities, different future plans, different preferences, different aspirations. We take with us those who help us meet the above…Walk along. Past is just a milestone.

Just because ‘You’ are my past does not guarantee you being in my present or future; and likewise should all think. There is effort and intent that should translate into keen ness to foster a relationship. Be it friendship or any other. So let us not carry any stress on our shoulders of the past. If there is an agenda for the present or future, let’s get ready for another level of commitments. That’s my take on life of relationships. End of prelude.

Don't be too confident when someone tells you they like you. The real question is, until when? Because just like season, people also change.

Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there’s no love. Without trust there is no reason to continue.

Inner Engineering, Isha and Yoga

“As there is a science and technology to create external wellbeing, there is a whole science and technology for inner wellbeing.” Sadhguru.

Inner Engineering; is a silent revolution of self-realisation. The prerequisite for it is being intense and relaxed as we are in a cinema theatre. The program has been designed by Sadhguru; Program components include guided meditations and transmission of the sacred Shambhavi Maha Mudra; an ancient and powerful kriya for deep inner transformation, which creates harmony. The main learnings from the program were:

• Our actions depend on our intensity of desire
• We are responsible for what is happening to us and around us
• This moment is inevitable; happiness is getting what you want and accepting it.
• Karma/Action – Take charge of your life.
• Importance of yoga/meditation/natural food & Recipes.

Isha foundation; a non-profit, volunteer organization addresses all aspects of human wellbeing. This includes its powerful yoga programs for inner transformation like hata yoga, shoonya meditation, Bhava Spandana Program, Samyama; its inspiring social and environmental projects; a range of outreach initiatives such as action for rural rejuvenation, Isha Vidhya and project GreenHands.; Dhyanalinga a multireligious meditation shrine and its Theerthakund.

“The source of life is within you. If you remain in touch with that source, everything about you will be beautiful”

Being to Isha Yoga on the 11th of August was a dream come true though my initial stand remains the same that I follow my innervoice and not any Godman’s – self-proclaimed or Thrust.

Had been for Art of living around 2002 and a yoga teacher myself around 1987-88; and though it had been years, things were just flowing and this was an amazing experience; especially because; as happened to realise later – yoga is not about exercise or body movements alone.

In Patanjali's Yoga Sutra, the eightfold path is called ashtanga, which literally means "eight limbs" (ashta=eight, anga=limb). These eight steps basically act as guidelines on how to live a meaningful and purposeful life.

1. Yama: deals with one's ethical standards and sense of integrity, focusing on our behavior and how we conduct ourselves in life.
Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
1. The five yamas are:
i. Ahimsa: nonviolence
ii. Satya: truthfulness
iii. Asteya: nonstealing
iv. Brahmacharya: continence
v. Aparigraha: noncovetousness

2. Niyama the second limb, has to do with self-discipline and spiritual observances.
The five niyamas are:
I. Saucha: cleanliness
II. Samtosa: contentment
III. Tapas: heat; spiritual austerities
IV. Svadhyaya: study of the sacred scriptures and of one's self
V. Isvara pranidhana: surrender to God

3. Asana: the postures practiced in yoga, comprise the third limb. In the yogic view, the body is a temple of spirit, the care of which is an important stage of our spiritual growth. Through the practice of asanas, we develop the habit of discipline and the ability to concentrate, both of which are necessary for meditation.

4. Pranayama: Generally translated as breath control, this fourth stage consists of techniques designed to gain mastery over the respiratory process while recognizing the connection between the breath, the mind, and the emotions. As implied by the literal translation of pranayama, "life force extension," yogis believe that it not only rejuvenates the body but actually extends life itself. You can practice pranayama as an isolated technique or integrate it into your daily hatha yoga routine.
These first four stages of Patanjali's ashtanga yoga concentrate on refining our personalities, gaining mastery over the body, and developing an energetic awareness of ourselves, all of which prepares us for the second half of this journey, which deals with the senses, the mind, and attaining a higher state of consciousness.

5. Pratyahara: the fifth limb, means withdrawal or sensory transcendence. It is during this stage that we make the conscious effort to draw our awareness away from the external world and outside stimuli. Keenly aware of, yet cultivating a detachment from, our senses, we direct our attention internally. The practice of pratyahara provides us with an opportunity to step back and take a look at ourselves. This withdrawal allows us to objectively observe our cravings: habits that are perhaps detrimental to our health and which likely interfere with our inner growth.

6. Dharana: As each stage prepares us for the next, the practice of pratyahara creates the setting for dharana, or concentration. Having relieved ourselves of outside distractions, we can now deal with the distractions of the mind itself.
In the practice of concentration, which precedes meditation, we learn how to slow down the thinking process by concentrating on a single mental object: a specific energetic center in the body, an image of a deity, or the silent repetition of a sound. We, of course, have already begun to develop our powers of concentration in the previous three stages of posture, breath control, and withdrawal of the senses. In asana and pranayama, although we pay attention to our actions, our attention travels. Our focus constantly shifts as we fine-tune the many nuances of any particular posture or breathing technique. In pratyahara we become self-observant; now, in dharana, we focus our attention on a single point. Extended periods of concentration naturally lead to meditation.

7. Dhyana:Meditation or contemplation, the seventh stage of ashtanga, is the uninterrupted flow of concentration. Although concentration (dharana) and meditation (dhyana) may appear to be one and the same, a fine line of distinction exists between these two stages. Where dharana practices one-pointed attention, dhyana is ultimately a state of being keenly aware without focus. At this stage, the mind has been quieted, and in the stillness it produces few or no thoughts at all. The strength and stamina it takes to reach this state of stillness is quite impressive. But don't give up. While this may seem a difficult if not impossible task, remember that yoga is a process. Even though we may not attain the "picture perfect" pose, or the ideal state of consciousness, we benefit at every stage of our progress.

8. Samadhi: state of ecstasy. At this stage, the meditator merges with his or her point of focus and transcends the Self altogether. The meditator comes to realize a profound connection to the Divine, an interconnectedness with all living things. With this realization comes the "peace that passeth all understanding"; the experience of bliss and being at one with the Universe. What Patanjali has described as the completion of the yogic path is what, deep down, all human beings aspire to: peace. We also might give some thought to the fact that this ultimate stage of yoga—enlightenment—can neither be bought nor possessed. It can only be experienced, the price of which is the continual devotion of the aspirant.

And then there are levels to Samadhi as well – An ocean to learn.

Thanks to Meera; Praseed’s wife for giving a detailed insight into this.

Compatibility Vs. Divorce - Truth is stranger than fiction

What remains together depend upon the compatibility; whether it be people or things.

Irrespective of the level of education, status in society, region people come from – basically human beings are ‘thinking’ animals ; what they think makes the difference

What cannot remain with us in rain, will not be there with us in storm and therefore we would not want them to be together in the sunshine.

At times it is difficult to realise that things are falling apart – could be because we trust beyond how much has to be trusted.

It is easy to break things, but difficult to bring them together. So hurting to see relations break so easily these days; and more so to what extend learned people do it and fail to understand things falling apart.

An Engineer was asked: “ What is the Technical Difference between welding and wedding?” He replied “Not much, both are joints in a way, in welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, and in wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever.

Things and relations fall apart, not always because one is bad (at times may be); but because things and people are not compatible. But there is integrity and trust – especially expected from Human Beings. Heart breaking to see how events in life unfold.

One should not be killed; so also there should not be forged divorce. It should be by mutual consent.

Better people are separated if they are destined or not compatible; but there should be human integrity and basic decency in the way it is done.

They come to us when we least expect them. – All things especially –
• Wedding – People who never want to be married get married, and some marriage turn out to be a success; while those we expect to end up in marriage never happens; this is from time immortal.
• Home – There are people who are unable to construct homes/even a proper roof over their head; some are able to construct but are never fortunate enough to live in their own house
• Death – The only truth of our life. – We never know when we are bound to embrace it.

And divorce is death of a relationship. A delicate one for that matter; made in heaven?

Life is not easy, and Truth is stranger than fiction.