The Year we got closer

She was confused and surprised, yet glad that he asked her out for a movie a year before; with mother. This was for the first time, someone had actually done that; and so it was completely a new experience for her. Sometimes we need someone to simply be there, not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported; this is what she felt.

People come to one’s life for a reason, a season or for a lifetime; he had just completed one season of his life, and was on the bridge to the other; presumably he was just looking out for someone to fill the interim void or was that an invitation for genuine friendship only time would say.

They did not have anything much in common. A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation; doesn’t always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part; this is what she believed; initially when he got busy on reaching the other end of the bridge; not realising that the season was over. Though there was a gap in the new year; things appeared to be in place after three months.

By the end of a year, they realised, they have nothing to speak about. Life is not just about movies, and restaurants; and he was not interested in discussing his personal life and dreams; while she kept wondering, why men who respect women are mostly single? People who have been single are so independed and self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life. He would start telling about his professional problems, and stop in between, presuming it is not right to discuss them; leaving her in a dilemma. It is a psychological fact that people are generally more honest when physically tired; this is why people confess things during late night conversations. Next day; they would think why at all was it discussed?

At the end of a year, he was confused; and she was still confused and surprised. Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please other, but they did not have to go through that here, as they were themselves; and had not put on masks to please other.

She still had lot of respect for him, for his passion, for his will, for the fight he took up for himself and others. His company made her happy, but she knew it would most probably be at its dawn. She did not know what had to be done, and because he wanted to work without distractions. So was she becoming a distraction now? She kept thinking about her friends warnings to be away from him.

Then she read Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's explanation of life and death; especially on death that she realised after her husband Dave passed away. Most of us at one point or the other have to face loss of opportunity or adversity - in job, with health, with love and sometimes with life itself. We need to remember 3P's.

1. Pesonalization - Not everything that happens to us happens because of us.
2. Pervasiveness - The event will effect all areas of our life, there is nor running away,
3. Permanence - That nothing lasts for ever.

There are only two types of pain: The one that hurts you and the other that changes you.

If you care too much, forgive too much, in the end you get hurt too much. When you care for someone more than they deserve, you get hurt more than you deserve. Everyone is going to hurt you, you need to find the worth suffering for. It’s better to be alone; nobody can hurt you.

To the questions in your life, you are the only answer; to the problems in your life you are the only solution. If you are able to find them; and mould them to make you a better person; keep you positive, the pain would be worth going through. It would change you, make you stronger.

Finding gratitude and appreciation is the key to resilience. Live life, each day of it, with joy and meaning, without pain and with gratitude at each step.

Don’t depend too much on anyone. Everyone changes with time, with new people. Never assume that somebody loves you by their sweetness. Sometimes you are just an option. Some people are truly great manipulators. They can lie, cheat, treat you badly and somehow manage to make it all seem like your fault. Don’t fall for it.

Choices, Chances and Changes are basic reminders of life…We need to make a Choice, to take a Chance, otherwise our life will never Change…!!!

It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in your relationship to make it last. Probably this did not have them all.

We need to Learn how to:
• Have fun without drinks
• Talk without cellphone
• Dream without drugs
• Smile without selfies
• Love without conditions

Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you. Remember, there is no market for our emotions, Keep up the positive attitude.