Pride and Prejudice - Sense and Sensibility; Desire and Desirability

Got to read Pride and Prejudice again, Thanks to Kate; which prompted me to read Sense and Sensebility; When I hear there is no desire and desireability.

In Pride and Prejudice initially, Mr. Darcy is the emblem of pride, a wealthy gentleman who appears to scorn unsophisticated provincial life and people less wealthy and cultivated than members of his own family. He is contrasted with the more genial Bingley. Elizabeth, on the other hand, appears to be prejudiced against Darcy, initially because she overheard some rather disparaging remarks he made about her. Elizabeth's rejection of Mr. Collins can also be seen as a certain type of prejudice, as can her reaction to Charlotte's quite sensible acceptance of him.

Pride and Prejudice is a classic novel written by Jane Austen in the early 19th century. It is a charming and witty tale that explores the theme of pride and prejudice, and the ways in which these two traits can shape and influence our relationships and interactions with others.

One of the most appealing aspects of Pride and Prejudice is its well-developed and relatable characters. The main characters, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, are both complex and multifaceted, and their relationship is a joy to watch unfold as they learn to see beyond their initial pride and prejudice towards one another. The supporting characters, such as the Bennett sisters and Mr. Bingley, are also well-written and add depth and richness to the story.

In addition to its well-crafted characters, Pride and Prejudice is also notable for its sharp and clever dialogue, which is full of wit and humor. Austen's writing style is elegant and refined, and her prose is a pleasure to read.

Sense" means good judgment, wisdom, or prudence, and "sensibility" means sensitivity, sympathy, or emotionality. Elinor is described as a character with great "sense" (although Marianne, too, is described as having sense), and Marianne is identified as having a great deal of "sensibility" (although Elinor, too, feels deeply, without expressing it as openly). By changing the title, Austen added "philosophical depth" to what began as a sketch of two characters.

Whether you are the Pursuer desiring more intimacy or the Distancer seeking more autonomy, “Desire & Desirability” gives you insight into the dangers of the Pursuer/Distancer relationship pattern and the tools to break free of it. When Pursuers seek too much connection or attachment, Distancers feel smothered or trapped. When Distancers feel too much pressure for togetherness, they become anxious about losing their freedom and their sense of self. Ultimately, when pushed too hard for increased connection, Distancers often withdraw from the relationship leaving the Pursuer feeling rejected or heartbroken. To sustain a mutually-fulfilling relationship, the first step is knowing how to change your own behavior to transform the relationship dynamic. Real-life examples illustrate ways to transform desire based on need into desirability based on fullness.

Having no air of Sophistication, how can I have it overnight?

Two lessons learned,

Never marry a friend, in case the marriage don't work, you might end up loosing both.

Choose a partner that is good for you. Not good for your parents. Not good for your image. Not good for your bank account. Choose someone who is making your life emotionally fulfilling.

Everything and every one is good when hot.

Cut the grass that keep growing, and keep moving forward.

Got this today and felt like sharing and treasuring this.

She married him today. At the end of the wedding party, her mother gave her a newly opened bank
savings passbook, with $1000 deposited in it.
She told her, "My dear daughter, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your married life. Whenever something
happy and memorable happens in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the amount. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with your husband. When you look back after many years, you will know how much happiness you've both shared."

She shared this with him after getting home. Both of them thought it was a
great idea and couldn't wait to make the next deposit!
This is what the passbook looked like after a while: -
7Feb: $100, his first birthday celebration after marriage
1 Mar: $300, she gets a salary raise
20 Mar: $200, vacation
15 Apr: $2000, She's pregnant!
1 Jun: $1000, He gets the big promotion and so on..

However, as the years went by, they began fighting and arguing over trivial things. They didn't talk much.

They regretted that they had married the most nasty person in the world. There was no more love.

One day she talked to her Mother. 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We have decided to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!'

Her mother replied, 'Sure, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want, if
you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing remember the savings passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

She agreed with her mother. So she went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to her. Her eyes were filled with tears.

She left and went home. When she got home, she handed the passbook to her hubby and asked him to spend the money before getting divorced.

So the next day, he went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account. While he was waiting, he took a look at the passbook record. He looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to him. His eyes were filled with tears.

He left and went home. He gave the passbook back to her. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I realized how much I've loved you throughout all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.' They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back into the safe.

Marriage is not a game, it's not easy but it's beautiful. You will fight and argue, this is normal, because the both of you came from different
background, different homes and you both were raised by different parents, beliefs and moral. So you cannot expect that everything you say will be accepted by your spouse without their opinion being tendered first. So before you give up, think back to the good times and to what brought you together in the first place.

Dedicated to all married couples.