The 7 habits of highly effective people

To achieve your highest aspiration and overcome your greatest challenges, identify and apply the principle or natural law that governs the results you seek. Principle solutions stand in stark contrast to common practice and thinking of our popular culture. Some common human challenges we face are:

Fear and insecurity – We live in interdependent reality, while we try to become more independent.
I want it now – What is important is sustainability and growth
Blame and victimize – Accept and take responsibility for the circumstances and take initiative to work around the challenges.
Hopelessness – Be the creative force of your life.
Lack of life balance – Have clear sense of highest priorities, work with focus and integrity towards them.
What’s in it for me? – Work selflessly with mutual respect for mutual benefit.
The hunger to be understood – Understanding and influence is what our culture demands, and deep listening is the key.
Conflict and differences – Creative cooperation
Personal Stagnation – Four-dimensional human nature – body, mind, heart and spirit.


A habit is the intersection of knowledge (What to, why to); skill (how to) and desire (want to). Tip of the iceberg is what people see first is our personality. The weight of real effectiveness lies in good character.

As you work from the inside out by building your personal trustworthiness, you create trust on an interpersonal level and improve relationships; you can empower individuals and groups within organization to produce desired results and organization can align its systems and structure better with the corporate mission and with strategy to meet stakeholder’s needs. Alignment then contributes to greater empowerment and higher trust.

A person with high character exhibits integrity, maturity and an Abundance Mentality. A person with high competence has knowledge and ability in a given area. To be truly effective in any area, a person must have a balance of high character and high competence, as people balance these two elements, they build their personal trustworthiness and their trust with others. Personal Leadership grows out of trustworthiness. Interpersonal leadership is built on trust. Trust, which builds strong relationships, flows from trustworthy people.

Basic Change Model:

Each of the 7 habits is based upon and incorporates one or more:

Principles upon which the habit is based – We are not in control, principles control. We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from these actions are controlled by principles. Principles are Natural laws or fundamental truths.
Universal, timeless
Produce predictable outcomes
External to ourselves
Operate with or without our understanding or acceptance
Self-evident and enabling when understood
Values are the worth or priority we place on people, things, ideas or principles.

Self-chosen beliefs and ideals.
Internal, subjective, based on how we see the world.
Influenced by upbringing, society and personal reflections.


Paradigms that are aligned with principles – The way an individual perceives, understands and interprets the surrounding world; a mental map is Paradigm. Individuals are products of learning and experience, and no two individuals share the same knowledge base or the same set of experiences so no identical paradigms.
If we want significant changes, first we must change our paradigms. Every significant breakthrough in science is first a break with tradition.

For small changes, work on behavior; for quantum-leap changes work on paradigms.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: The way we treat others influences their behavior and performance. The self-fulfilling prophecy-what we believe about ourselves and others – influences our self-perception, behavior and performance.

Processes or thoughts and behaviors that affect the results we achieve – related series or routines of mental or physical activities. Effective processes contribute to the ultimate behavior or habit we are trying to develop. It includes tools that help create and reinforce desired behaviors or habits.

The Change Cycle

Our paradigms (how we see things), influence the processes we use and the behavior we choose (what we do), this affects our results (what we get), which either meet or fail stakeholder’s needs. To continuously improve our effectiveness and exceed stakeholder’s needs, we constantly challenge our paradigms.

As we align ourselves with principles, we are more likely to succeed and make predictable and effective choices in a changing environment.

P/PC Balance: The Principle of Effectiveness

Effectiveness is a balance of two things:

Production: The desired results produced (The golden eggs, or P)
Production Capability: Maintaining, preserving and enhancing the resources, that produce the desired results (the goose or PC)
The most important resource available to any organization is the relationship among its stakeholders; of the three assets viz: physical, financial and human.

The Emotional Bank Account:

Is a metaphor for trust that exists in relationship. It suggests that every interaction with another human being may be classified as a deposit or withdrawal. Deposits build and repair trust in relationships. Withdrawals lessen trust in relationships.

Deposits:
Kindness and Courtesy
Keeping Promise
Honoring Expectations
Loyalty to the absent
Making Apologies, Forgiveness

Withdrawals:
Unkindness and Discourtesy
Breaking Promise
Violating Expectations
Disloyalty, Duplicity
Pride, Conceit, Arrogance, Holding Grudge


You can’t talk your way out of problems you behaved yourself into.


The Maturity Continuum:

Shows the relationships among 7 habits, public victory, private victory and stages of interdependent progression.

Private victory: When we learn self-mastery and self-discipline.

Be Proactive - You are the Programmer. Exercise human endowments (HE) through conscious choices in decision making.
Respond according to values – Use space between stimulus and response.
Accept Responsibility – 4 HE Self Awareness, Imagination, Conscience, Independent will
Focus on Circle of Influence – not on concerns. Can choose actions not consequences.
Become Transition Figure – Person who stops the transmission of negative behaviors to others.
Choose to positively influence others through actions and examples. Relationships are built by action before emotion.

Begin with the end in mind – Write the program. Envision results and values to guide activity.
Mental creation precedes physical creation
Choose a life center
Personal Mission Statement


Put First things first – The key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities.
The Time Matrix:

For living an effective life we need to be in quadrant 2 of the below Time Management Matrix.

All activities can be classified by importance and urgency.

An activity is important if you personally find it valuable and if it contributes to your mission, values and high-priority goals. Six steps, quadrant 2 process are:

Connect to Mission
Review Roles
Identify goals
Organize weekly – Schedule the Big Rocks
Exercise Integrity – One’s philosophy is expressed by choices made which is our responsibility.
Evaluate
An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it requires immediate attention. We can put them in a Time Management Matrix as below:


1 Urgent

Crises
Pressing Problems
Deadline-driven projects, meetings, preparations

2 Important

Preparation
Prevention
Planning
Values Clarification
Relationship building
Re-creation
Empowerment


3 Not Urgent

Interruptions – calls, emails, reports
Meetings
Proximate, pressing matters
Popular activities

4 Not Important

Trivia, busywork
Irrelevant mails, Calls
Time wasters
‘Escape’ activities
Excessive TV, internet



“Effective people have genuine Quadrant 1 crises and emergencies that require their immediate attention, but the number is comparatively small. They keep P and PC in balance by focusing on the important, but not urgent, activities of Quadrant 2.”

These three leads to independence. The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership are:

Think Win-win – Balance courage and consideration in seeking mutual benefit.


It comes from

Integrity – True to their feelings, values and commitments.
maturity – Express their ideas and feeling with courage and with consideration for the ideas and feelings of others.
Abundance Mentality – Believe that there is plenty for everyone.


Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Win-Win
Win-Lose
Lose-Win
Lose-Lose
Win
Win-Win or No deal
Win-Win Rescripting
Develop Self-awareness
Write new scripts
Develop new scripts
Four Dimensions of Win-win
Character
Relationships
Agreements
Systems and Processes


Seek first to understand, then to be understood. – Use Empathic Listening Skills.
The Challenges of Communication – Diagnose Before you Prescribe.
We listen at one of the five levels – ignoring, pretend, selective, attentive or empathic
Tendency to respond autobiographically – advise, probe, interpret and evaluate messages based on our own experiences and motives
The one who listens does most work, not who speak – learn the attitude and skill of empathetic listening
The Attitude and Skill of Empathy – Built on a caring attitude and a sincere desire to understand.
While understanding another person takes consideration, getting another person to understand us takes courage.

Synergize. – Whole is greater than sum of parts.
Value Differences – Tolerate. Ground rules – Mental preparation, Interaction. Compromise.
Create Third Alternative
Communicate until you both find a solution you feel good about
Listen with the intent to understand, not reply
Express how you feel about and see the situation
Perspective of Humility – People see world as they are. Appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human being.


Sharpen the Saw – Develop & renew personal resources to create better personal P/PC Balance.
Four Dimensions of Renewal – Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Social/Emotional
Personal Production Capability – P are survival and PC are revival activity.
The upward spiral – of growth, change and continuous improvement. Progress is not a straight line but spiral with rhythms of progress and retrogression, of evolution and dissolution.
Principle – Centered Living – The only constant in life is change. People cannot live with change if they don’t have a changeless core inside them. Whatever is at the center of their lives will be the source of their security, guidance, wisdom and power.
Security – Sense of worth
Guidance – source of direction in life
Wisdom – Perspective in life
Power – capacity to act
Action Planning Guide:

Using a profile: provides you with a special opportunity to look at your effectiveness from several viewpoints. As you explore your own and others feedback, you will build your awareness and open your mind to your current level of effectiveness as you and others see it. You will be able to work towards your mission and become who you want to be by consciously building effective habits.
i. Objectives are intersection of:

a. How you see yourself

b. How others see you

c. Who you want to be



ii. Receive feedback proactively



Action Planning: As you review your profile feedback, identify and record your major strengths and improvements for each category.
Following Up: Once you have created an action plan, ultimately you are responsible for carrying out the plan. You may choose to enlist the help of others eg. A personal coach; support team including guides, challengers, providers, comrades, sponsors, opposites; those who submitted feedback.
Acknowledge and Thank those who gave you feedback and thank them for their support.
Initiate, share your action plan and track progress.
Strive for Continuous improvement.


Explore! Arrive where you began to know the place for the first time. Share learning with another person. Capture, Expand and Apply.