Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

Journey to death, in the 'End of your life book club'; and being a Tuesday, made me pick this book up again, a memoir conversation between Mitch Albom, and his college professor  Morrie Schwartz; will mark this as 35th of 2020.

Though promised to be in touch, as always happen in life, Mitch got busy making his career as a Journalist, and lost in touch with his professor after his graduation in 1979 , untill he happen to view his interview in 'Nightline' on TV titled  'A professor's final course: His own death'. He was at the fag end of his life, suffering from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) who eventually dies in the November of 1995 and the book is published in 1997.

When they first met after almost 18 years, Morrie told him " The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't but it." Then they decide to meet on Tuesdays, with a theme for every tuesday:

First was World - The key to finding meaning in life is to stop taking out the garbage. The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. 

Second it was feeling sorry for self. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too- even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling. If you feel sad and sorry about something, cry and let it go, if need be. But then don't allow much self pity. Think of the positive things.

Third was Regrets. Our culture doesn't encourage to think about things. We're wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - we're involved in trillion of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying. Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? You need someone to probe you in that direction.

Fourth was death. Seventy years ago professors mother passed away, but he still felt the pain. Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Otherwise most of us are sleepwalking. 

Fifth was Family. There is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today, it it is'nt for family. They are more important than money and fame. 

Sixth emotions. Detach from experience. It means you let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. This apply to any emotion. 

Seventh Aging. As you grow, you learn more. 

Eighth Money What we need is different from what we want, and there is a big confusion about this. What actually gives you satisfaction is offering to others what you have to give. Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.  

Ninth Love. It is good to have your loved ones around when you die, and only they need to be there. With our smile, we need to make people feel unique.  Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own. 

Tenth Marriage. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't. Few rules about love and marriage are: if you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike. Marriage is an important thing to do. 

Eleventh Culture. Morrie believed in the inherent good of people, but he also saw what they could become. People are only mean when they're threatened and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even when people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of culture. Every society has it's own problem, we should not run away, but create our own culture. We do not see ourselves alike when alive. We all have the same beginning- birth- and same end - death. Invest in human family. Invest in people. Build little community of those you love and who love you. Be compassionate. Take responsibility for each other. Love each other or die. The world would be a better place. 

Twelfth Forgiveness . We need to forgive others and ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. 

Thirteenth Perfect day. Make peace with living. A simple day. Death ends a life not a relationship. Love, responsibility, spirituality, awareness are important questions in life. Relationships are important and there is no formula to it. They have to be negotiated in loving ways., with room for both parties, on what they want, need, can do and life is like.

Fourteenth Good-Bye: Teacher till the last. Morrie's ashes were placed on the ground and it was a Tuesday. Mitch talked, Morrie listened henceforth?

A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.  Morrie amidst his conversation with Mitch do tell him, if he had another son he would like Mitch to be one.