English is a tricky language, It is not our first language
for most of us. There are some truth’s or truth bombs, which we should ‘think twice before we say’, better to avoid
and use alternatives instead. To start with a few:
1.
'Let go' - Forgiveness and navigating grief are
both un-masterable practices. Trauma never fully goes away. Even if the
impact becomes less and less in day-to-day life, sometimes we pick it right
back. We should be asking how we can support them while they sit in it.
2.
'Calm down' – It can be interpreted as a command
or an order. People generally don't like to be told what to do,
especially when they are already feeling vulnerable or out of control. It fails to recognise our feelings, and invalidates the
emotions we may be experiencing, like fear, anxiety, or anger. Hearing 'Calm
down' may actually be received as a message that we are not being taken
seriously.
3. ''You are wrong' – Never tell a person they are
wrong, who are we to judge, there might be a reason for the decision. Also this
blunt statement leads to immediate defensiveness and often closes the doors to
conversation. Instead say, I see things differently and give the reason.
4. ' You are fat/thin/Lost weight' – This gives the
impression that the other person is unattractive. Better to say ‘You look fantastic’.
5. 'That's not my problem' – It can be
perceived as unhelpful. Instead we can say, ‘I wish I could help, or let’s
figure this out together.’
Do you know of more such phrases? Do let us know in the comment
below
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