Monday, February 05, 2018


Indeed practise makes man perfect. This time around it was easier to climb:
1) Malayatoor Mala - Amazing year end experience with Tara; Sajeev and Neil
2) Athirapilly- Could do it just like that - Though had done it many times before;was first experience to Peringalkuthu Dam. View from IG' s quarter was mesmerising.
3) From Thirupati to Thirumala via Alipiri...amazing walk.
4) Missed Arunachala Girivalam though the temple was spectacular.

Pancha Bhoota Stalam

Completed Pancha Bhoota Stalam
- Ekambareswarar Temple, Kanchipuram, Tamil Nadu (Land)Thiruvanaikaval temple, Trichy, Tamil Nadu (Water)Arunachaleshwarar Temple, Thiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu (Fire)Kalahasti Temple, Srikalahasti, Andhra Pradesh (Air)Natarajar Temple, Chidambaram, Tamil Nadu (Sky)

Thanks to car drive by Sajeev.


On the day of release was at Padmavathi temple...Finally got to watch the movie that was delayed wondering why the hue and cry in this era and society? The tale is said to be derived from Malik Muhammad Jayasi's 16th century epic poem narrating the story of a period of history when unblemished Rajput warriors waged valiant wars while their acquiescent women unquestioningly adhered to a patriarchal code of conduct. Ranveer Singh as Allaudhin Kilji, ebulliently evil and visceral in his portrayal of a venal villain on the rampage makes us hate him; which is said to be the success of the characters act. Movies beauty, as is usually the case with a Sanjay Leela Bhansali extravaganza, is skin deep. It is magnificent and overly manufactured.

Buried Thoughts - Joseph K Jose

One life, Many Stories.
About love, remembrance, mistakes and hope that motivate us to re-examine our lives and find meaning in it.
Every story with a moral and some with deep insight into life; feelings; relations and death.
Simple and Nice.

Sunday, February 04, 2018


There would be a time to mourn, now is the time for action. I was hooked!

Interesting questions- where did we come from? Where are we going?

Dan Brown takes us to Spain on this adventure and introduces us to more art, literature, architecture, science, history, religion, and gives us some symbols to play with.

There would be a time to mourn, now is the time for action. I was hooked!

1. Origin is the fifth book to feature Robert Langdon, a Harvard professor of symbology and religious iconography. Symbology is a fictional academic discipline created by Dan Brown. The closest real life disciplines would be iconography, cryptography or semiotics.

2. The book is primarily set in Spain, a country rich in history, art and religion - the perfect starting point for a Robert Langdon adventure.

3. This will be the first Robert Langdon thriller to feature modern art; it opens in the Guggenheim Museum, Bilbao. Brown’s previous thrillers have all centred around classical art.

4. The character of Robert Langdon was named after John Langdon, a professor of typography who is known for his complex ambigrams, which play a starring role in Angels and Demons.

5. The paradoxical interplay between science and religion is central to the plot of Origin. This is a topic that's always fascinated Dan - perhaps not surprisingly for the son of a church organist and a maths teacher!

Lady you are not a man - Apurva Purohit

This needs a separate mention by itself.

Today’s woman wants to make a success of both family and career and is unwilling to compromise on either. But the burden of coping with deadlines, recalcitrant children, lazy husbands, difficult bosses and equally difficult in-laws can be daunting, even overwhelming.

In this book, Apurva Purohit, then CEO of Radio City 91.1 FM, now president of Jagran group, shows how women can accept, adapt and achieve their way to the highest rung in every arena. Through real-life stories and funny anecdotes, she provides pithy tips on a multitude of topics: from training husbands to training interns, from the right attitude to getting it right with kids, from dealing with household crises to office emergencies, from building a reputation to paving ones’s way to the top.

I } Before any great achievement comes the ACCEPTANCE of your particular reality-and then you learn to adapt to it, to use it to excel and fly.

The ten lessons of ACCEPTANCE:

1. I accept my femininity: We don’t have to apologize for being women; we must accept all our feminine traits unreservedly. Thankfully, there is no longer any need to behave and look like a man to succeed.

2. I accept that I will feel guilty: Every woman has the right to choose to be either a working mom or a stay-at-home mom or not a mom at all. However, in all cases, there will be some guilt attached. We have to accept that guilt comes along as part of the territory of being a woman.

3. I accept that life is unfair- not only to women but to men too: While it may seem that life has been unjust largely to women, the fact is that men too have many challenges they face, including having to live up to the stereotype of being the main provider of the family.

4. I accept that I can multitask and thus will end up doing more work: Multitasking is a unique skill which only women appear to have; we should accept it as our strength and not as a burden, and use it to the fullest capacity to move ahead in the race.

5. I accept that being a masochistic sufferer is simply not cool: In today’s day and age, suffering is no longer seen as noble but downright impractical and foolish. So let us stop playing the martyr’s role.

6. I accept that I have to wait patiently to take over the world: Traditional stereotypes are slowly blurring and both genders are borrowing characteristics from each another. Men will have to morph into women if they want to survive in the new world; we simply need to be patient.

7. I accept that men can’t bear children: There comes a time in most women’s lives when we will have to take a break from our careers to go through the process of childbearing. We need to take it in our stride and not resent our partners for not being able to play an equal role in the process.

8. I accept that I will improve with age: As women grow older, we become more confident. It is then the best time for us to mazimise our potential and do what we couldn’t do when we were younger- whether it is to learn pottery or start a new business.

9. I accept that everyone need not be size zero: Women need to love themselves just the way they are. Each of us has a unique personality which should form the basis of our individual self-worth.

10. I accept that I can be my own worst enemy: ‘ Women are nasty to other women’ is a myth we all need to debunk and accept the fact that many times we ourselves are the cause of our own problem.

II} ADAPT yourself to your reality – and then you will be able to mould reality to what you want.

The ten lessons of adapting:

1. I will approach life with a positive mindset: When I strive towards achieving success, I realize that having a positive attitude is the first step. I will win the battle in my mind first.

2. I will always work hard: I realize that running away from hard work in running away from success. The single most important driver of success in life is perseverance, and women who have triumphed have done so only because they simply didn’t give up.

3. I will learn to focus on the essential things and sacrifice the unimportant: Being able to prioritize what is important and what is not is a key skill for success. We don’t need to be perfect; it is better to be outstandingly great at the specific areas we have chosen to focus on.

4. I will ask for help in order to have a successful career and home life: We need to create support systems around ourselves at home and at work, by asking for help, and we should not worry about the loss of control it may entail.

5. I will not take advantage of the special privileges I get for being women: It is critical that we don’t take undue advantage of the privileges awarded to us and deliver value back to our organizations. We need to behave with responsibility, especially in the interest of the future generations of women who will come after us.

6. I will have to train my husband to be a part of my support system: A supportive spouse is a fundamental requirement if we want to make a success of our professional and personal lives. Unfortunately, readymade helpful husbands are in short supply and need to be trained.

7. I do not need to be the boss in every situation: Certain situations expect us to take charge and certain situations require us to give up control. We need to adapt and change according to the circumstances.

8. I will be a team player in my family: It is important to think of the family as a composite whole and therefore when there comes a time in our life where a decision has to be made which requires compromise, it is crucial to go for the one which maximises the entire family’s interest.

9. I will build relationships beyond work and use the power of networking: A lack of networking at the professional level is being seen as one of the critical factors by women themselves in their failure to move ahead in the corporate race. It is important that we make time to build these formal or informal networks.

10. I will take control of my own destiny: The difference between women who are successful and happy and those who are not is not in their special circumstances but in their ability to take control of any circumstance and make it special.

III} The final stage. A sense of accomplishment-hard won, but oh so sweet!

1. As I step on the ladder of success, I will always remember how lucky I am: Very few women in the world have received the benefit of an education and the opportunity of using that education to gain financial independence. Let us continually remember how fortunate we are.

2. I will assert that I am an individual: It is important to deal with and debunk the stereotyping of being thought of only in context of the males in our family, as wife/mother/daughter. We must make sure that people recognize us as separate and equally important entities.

3. I will not walk away ahead of schedule: Women start preparing for marriage and motherhood for earlier than they need to and, in the process, the period when they step back from their careers grows unnecessarily long, compromising their growth. We must avoid this.

4. As a boss, I will recognize that I have to treat my male subordinates differently: Male and female subordinates have different buttons, and need to be handled differently. We must keep this in mind and work accordingly for the success of our projects.

5. I am proud to be successful, smart and single: Successful single women are a critical demonstration of the freedome women have achieved in taking control of their own destinies. The sisterhood salutes them.

6. I will not let stone age men or zealots affect me: Regressive men and overzealous feminists are polarized ends of a spectrum and can affect women negatively. Always remain a liberal thinker on the climb to the top.

7. I do not want the crutch of reservation to succeed: Reservations tend to be mere tokenism and can actually harm the cause of women in the long run by promoting mediocrity. We should compete on a level playing field and not depend on reservations to succeed.

8. I will pay my dues to the next generation of women by mentoring the younger men around me: An important responsibility of being a woman achiever is mentoring the next generation of men so that they grow up to respect and treat women as equals.

9. As I whizz up the steps of success, I will always remember that building up a good reputation is more important than building a good CV: A good reputation cannot be created in a day. It is built over millions of moments of being diligent, sincere, hardworking and ethical.

10. I will celebrate my success openly and without embarrassment: It is important to recognize our achievements and celebrate them. Let us learn something from men for a change and praise ourselves whenever we need to.

The Help, The Gift, How to be a Bawse and Fish

One of the best gifts you can give a book lover, is undoubtedly books and things related to it. Book marks, book tourch and 10 books; what more could one ask for when you turn 40?

All amazing ones; I need not update my personal review as good reads has done it in an amazing way:

The Help

By Kathryn Stockett.

Twenty-two-year-old Skeeter has just returned home after graduating from Ole Miss. She may have a degree, but it is 1962, Mississippi, and her mother will not be happy till Skeeter has a ring on her finger. Skeeter would normally find solace with her beloved maid Constantine, the woman who raised her, but Constantine has disappeared and no one will tell Skeeter where she has gone.

Aibileen is a black maid, a wise, regal woman raising her seventeenth white child. Something has shifted inside her after the loss of her own son, who died while his bosses looked the other way. She is devoted to the little girl she looks after, though she knows both their hearts may be broken.

Minny, Aibileen’s best friend, is short, fat, and perhaps the sassiest woman in Mississippi. She can cook like nobody’s business, but she can’t mind her tongue, so she’s lost yet another job. Minny finally finds a position working for someone too new to town to know her reputation. But her new boss has secrets of her own.

Seemingly as different from one another as can be, these women will nonetheless come together for a clandestine project that will put them all at risk. And why? Because they are suffocating within the lines that define their town and their times. And sometimes lines are made to be crossed.

In pitch-perfect voices, Kathryn Stockett creates three extraordinary women whose determination to start a movement of their own forever changes a town, and the way women — mothers, daughters, caregivers, friends — view one another. A deeply moving novel filled with poignancy, humor, and hope, The Help is a timeless and universal story about the lines we abide by, and the ones we don't.

The Gift:

Step into the magical world of Cecelia Ahern.

If you could wish for one gift this Christmas, what would it be?

Everyday Lou Suffern battled with the clock. He always had two places to be at the same time. He always had two things to do at once. When asleep he dreamed. In between dreams, he ran through the events of the day while making plans for the next. When at home with his wife and family, his mind was always someplace else.

On his way into work one early winter morning, Lou meets Gabe, a homeless man sitting outside the office building. Intrigued by him and on discovering that he could also be very useful to have around, Lou gets Gabe a job in the post room.

But soon Lou begins to regret helping Gabe. His very presence unsettles Lou and how does Gabe appear to be in two places at the same time?

As Christmas draws closer, Lou starts to understand the value of time. He sees what is truly important in life yet at the same time he learns the harshest lesson of all.

This is a story about people who not unlike parcels, hide secrets.They cover themselves in layers until the right person unwraps them and discovers what’s inside. Sometimes you have to be unravelled in order to find out who you really are. For Lou Suffern, that took time.

How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life

From actress, comedian, and YouTube sensation Lilly Singh (aka ||Superwoman||) comes the definitive guide to being a bawse—a person who exudes confidence, reaches goals, gets hurt efficiently, and smiles genuinely because they’ve fought through it all and made it out the other side.

Told in her hilarious, bold voice that’s inspired over nine million fans, and using stories from her own life to illustrate her message, Lilly proves that there are no shortcuts to success.

WARNING: This book does not include hopeful thoughts, lucky charms, and cute quotes. That’s because success, happiness, and everything else you want in life needs to be fought for—not wished for. In Lilly’s world, there are no escalators, only stairs. Get ready to climb.

Fish!: A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results

by Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, John Christensen, Kenneth H. Blanchard

Here's another management parable that draws its lesson from an unlikely source--this time it's the fun-loving fishmongers at Seattle's Pike Place Market. In Fish! the heroine, Mary Jane Ramirez, recently widowed and mother of two, is asked to engineer a turnaround of her company's troubled operations department, a group that authors Stephen Lundin, Harry Paul, and John Christensen describe as a "toxic energy dump." Most reasonable heads would cut their losses and move on. Why bother with this bunch of losers? But the authors don't make it so easy for Mary Jane. Instead, she's left to sort out this mess with the help of head fishmonger Lonnie. Based on a bestselling corporate education video, Fish! aims to help employees find their way to a fun and happy workplace. While some may find the story line and prescriptions--such as "Choose Your Attitude," "Make Their Day," and "Be Present"--downright corny, others will find a good dose of worthwhile motivational management techniques. If you loved Who Moved My Cheese? then you'll find much to like here. And don't worry about Mary Jane and kids. Fish! has a happy ending for everyone. --Harry C. Edwards

Lipstick Under My Burkha , Mom, Rangoon, Hindi Medium & Qarib Qarib Single

Alankrita Shrivastava chronicles the secret lives of four women claim their desires through small acts of courage and stealthy rebellion. Finally they face the explosive consequences of their lives going out in flames with Diwali firecrackers bursting in the background. Did not like the movie much but the night ride to watch it was amazing.
Mom is a 2017 Indian thriller film directed by Ravi Udyawar. Produced by Boney Kapoor, Sunil Manchanda, Mukesh Talreja, Naresh Agarwal and Gautam Jain, the film stars Sridevi, as a vigilante, who sets out to avenge her daughter, played by Sajal Ali. Akshaye Khanna and Nawazuddin Siddiqui play supporting roles in the film. Again a movie watched at night move not being as interesting as the night ride with Jisha.
Bloody Hell; Kangana is a queen. Story around yesteryear actress and locations around Rangoon; with Saif and Shahid movie was an okay watch.

Hindi Medium an interesting movie with social message. It shows the difficulties faced by parents in getting admission in today's world .
Qarib Qarib single attracted because of the combination of Parvathy and Irrfan Khan. A predictable storyline, it was interesting to go around Degrading, Delhi, Anwar, Bikaner, Rishikesh and Gangtok.

Hadiya - Guide to righteousness.

Akhila to Hadiya in Kerala and Payal to Hadiya in Rajastan are these cases of “psychological kidnapping”; time would answer.

Daughter of K.M.Ashokan a retired armyman an Atheist and Ponnamma a staunch Hindu from T V Puram in Kerala’s Kottayam district.

After clearing Class 12 in her second attempt, she applied for admission to the private Sivaraj Homeopathy Medical College & Research Institute in Salem, Tamil Nadu.

Akhila quickly bonded with the four — Divya, Archana Rajan, Dilna and Jaseela Aboobacker — as well as Jaseela’s younger sister Faseena, who had joined another course at the same institute. Six months later, the six took up a house on rent together, moving out of the hostel.

This was the first time Akhila had had Muslim friends, or Muslim acquaintances. Jaseela, who is now a homeopathic doctor, says Akhila would watch her and Faseena as they offered namaz five times a day. Jaseela and Faseena were from Angadippuram in Malappuram,

Says Aboobacker, “Akhila was on her way to Mangaluru, to Shahana and Musthafa. They wanted her to stop studying and end relations with her family. Jaseela told me if Akhila goes to Mangaluru, we would not get her back. Hence, she forced her to come to our house.”

On Akhila’s insistence to learn more about Islam, Aboobacker says, he took her to two Islamic institutions in Kozhikode. Both refused to admit Akhila instantly, and so they turned to Sathya Sarani, the only institute in Kerala that offers a two-month residential programme for new converts to Islam.

The president of a women’s group, National Women’s Front, A S Zainaba, also came, reportedly at the behest of Sathya Sarani.

Zainaba, who once worked with the Sathya Sarani, says the institute had sought her help to ascertain Akhila’s intentions. Akhila attended a course at Sathya Sarani, and returned to Zainaba’s house as ‘Hadiya’. “Now Hadiya also started talking about marriage, hoping to find some support system. At her behest, I registered her name on a matrimonial website,” says Zainaba.

Through Matrimonial site she met Shafin Jahan and they got married. 26, who had just returned from Oman, through an Islamist matrimonial website.

The NIA told the court that the website through which Hadiya and Shafin Jahan married "is a sham" and forced conversion and terror recruitment was the true motive. The National Investigation Agency alleges that the website has links to a terror group

In May, the Kerala High Court cancelled the marriage and ordered Hadiya to return to her family. Since then, she had been living at her father's home in Kottayam where she hardly had any contact with anyone without her father's approval.

Shafin Jahan challenged the annulment in the Supreme Court. He said Hadiya stayed with him for only 48 hours before her father went to the police.

Hadiya, the 24-year-old Kerala woman who converted to Islam and married a Muslim man, is an example of "psychological kidnapping", the country's anti-terror agency National Investigation Agency, NIA, told the top court on Monday.

A Hindu woman ordered to stay at a government shelter in Rajasthan after she declared in court that she had married a Muslim, was told on 7th Nov that she is an adult and free to choose where she wants to go. As Payal Sanghvi, 22, said she wanted to go back to her husband Mohammad Faiz, her childhood sweetheart, the Rajasthan High Court asked the police..

Payal's family admitted the young couple had been friends since school.

"We are disappointed, this girl is under some kind of spell...they used to study together in school, now what can one do about that," said her father Narpat Singhvi, upset by the court ruling.

Payal's father-in-law, denying any forcible conversion, said: "There is no love jihad...even 0.1%. They knew each other for 10 years, they used to meet often, and talked for hours on the phone. Both families knew."

The case coincides with the controversy over Hadiya, a 24-year-old Kerala woman who converted to Islam and married a Muslim. Her marriage has been challenged in court by her father, who alleged that it was a form of recruitment by ISIS that is gaining currency in Kerala.

A wife is not a chattel and the husband cannot be her guardian, the Supreme Court said on 28th Nov. after interacting with Hadiya, a woman from Kerala, who is the alleged victim of "love jihad".

Who can describe the pain or how isolated they felt. In Kerala daughter is life, wealth for parents. A desperate parents now.

Asokan said he moved the first habeas corpus in the High Court in early January 2016 after Hadiya “went missing”. “She was in PFI custody without permission to speak to her parents. My petition forced them to produce her in court. But she refused to come with us,” he said. “Still I used to call my daughter every day, at least twice.”
In August 2016, he added, he returned to the court, seeking Hadiya’s custody, after reports of 21 Keralites fleeing to join the Islamic State. “When I called her sometime in July or August, I asked Akhila if she had plans to go to Syria to rear goats (a life that puritan Dammaj Salafi groups lead to recreate the Prophet’s era). She said they had plans to go but chose to stay back as friends suggested that she complete her course (homeopathy) first.”

Asokan said he was the son of a toddy tapper, the eldest of eight children, with the responsibility of five sisters. “I don’t know if you can picture that. I could clear my 10th only at the age of 19. Still I was a Communist, a member of the CPI, I used to read a lot. I wanted to study further, but my commitments made me join the Army after 10th.”
After he had ensured his sisters were educated and married, Asokan decided to have own family. “Akhila is my only child. We decided to have only one child as we wanted to give her the best. When she joined the homeopathy course, all her friends had to take loans but I had ready cash for her studies. When I joined as a peon in a defence court after retirement, my salary and the ATM card would be with her, she would handle them. I haven’t asked for the card back even now,” Asokan said, adding that he hadn’t gone to work since his legal fight began.

Asokan wondered whether this lack of interest in news, in “what was happening around her”, made Hadiya “gullible”.

Hadiya, a Kerala-based Hindu girl Akhila who embraced Islam and later married a Muslim man, reached Sivaraj Homeopathy Medical College in Salem on Tuesday after the Supreme Court allowed her to resume house surgeoncy/internship.

Dr G Kannan, the principal of Sivaraj Homeopathy College; the dean of the college as the guardian of Hadiya

Will there ever be a Guide to righteousness? For each their own. There was no book by the creator; All religious books, proverbs are the writers thought. There is no end for some people’s saga. In a way all of us are “gullible”.

An Unsuitable Boy

Did I really miss writing a review on this book by Karan Johar?

When you don’t work together, you don’t meet each other regularly. It’s as simple as that. When you meet, you get involved in each other’s lives. When you don’t meet, there is a distance. Then you work with other people. The separation creates a distance – the geographic separation and the professional separation create an organic distance which then starts being perceived as a problem. The ones you work with, you have a relationship. You stop working with them, the relationship goes on hold, it’s as simple as that. And you meet socially, it’s all superficial and upar-upar se, like how you meet people and say, ‘Great, Great’, but there is no depth in it.

Everything is not black and white. There is the concept of grey, which is where we all operate from actually.

Hearsay is one of the biggest problems. It’s the tone that is important. Text messages are the biggest undoing of human relationships because they never come with the tone. Without tone, things sound much worse than they are. The emotion is not there in the message, they are just words. Speak to people – confront.

Confrontation is such an underrated concept. But it’s so important in any relationship. Sit across and sort a problem out. Don’t insinuate, back off, stay away, sulk. It’s such a stupid waste of time. Always confront. Don’t allow things to fester. If you continue to suppress the emotion, it will explode in your face one day.

Gar baazi ishq ki baazi hai jo chaho laga do dar kaisa, Gar jeet gaye toh kya kehna hare bhi toh baazi maat nahin.

Falling in love is the most beautiful thing ever. Sometimes, not getting that love back can break your heart into tiny little peaces. But heartbreak can strengthen you to the core.

Don't know why you have named your book An Unsuitable not.. .you are amazing; cool..congratulations on your twins. Proud of you even more.

Rahi manwa dukh ki chinta kyun satati hai, dukh toh apna saathi hai, subah chhaon dhalti hai jaati hai, dukh toh apna saathi hai…..

If you make sadness your friend because it’s part of your life, then you’ll be able to deal with it.


Not sure how and why this was missed, May be because it is a forward but I would like to treasure this - being apt:

When I got enough confidence, the stage was gone...

When I was sure of losing, I won...

When I needed people the most, they left me...

When I learnt to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on...

When I mastered teh skill of hating, someone started loving me from the core of the heart...

And while waiting for light for hours when I fell asleep, the sun came out...

That's life!!

No matter what you plan, you never know what life has planned for you...

Success introduces you to the world..

But failure introduces the world to you...

Always be Happy!!!

Often when we slose hope and think this is the end..

God smiles from above and says,

"Relax Sweetheart, It's just a Bend, not the End!

Four temperaments & Personality Types

Four temperaments is a proto-psychological theory that suggests that there are four fundamental personality types, sanguine (optimistic, active and social), choleric (short-tempered, fast or irritable), melancholic (analytical, wise and quiet), and phlegmatic (relaxed and peaceful). Most formulations include the possibility of mixtures of the types.

Relation of various four temperament theories












Socially useful




Corporate Rules For Happy Life

1. Trust nobody

2. What happens in office, remain in office, Never take office gossips to home and vice versa.

3. Enter office on time, leave on time, your desktop is not helping improvement in your health.

4. Never make GF/BD and/or brother/sister in office. It will always backfire.

5. Expect nothing. If somebody helps, feel thankful. If not, you will learn to know things on your own.

6. Never rush for position. If you get promoted, congrats. If not, it doesn’t matter. You will always be remembered for your knowledge and politeness, not for your designation.

7. Never run behind office stuff. You have better things to do.

8. Avoid taking everything on your ego. Your salary matters. You are being paid. Use your assets to get happiness.

9. It doesn’t matter how people will treat you. Be humble. You are not everyone’s cup of tea.

10. In the end nothing matters except family, friends, home and inner peace.

May Peace Be With You

On a terrible day, when someone greet you ‘Good morning’ one would feel extremely terrible.

Namaste – Means the divine in me, bows before the divine in you; as per one school of thought we are not supposed to bow before everyone but only before the almighty.

Hello – is often credited to Thomas Edison as a coinage for telephone use, but has no meaning per say.

Is’nt May peace be with you the best way of salutation?

We need to be at ease, or will get some disease. Health indeed is the first of life.

Mitti ka tan, masti ka man, kshan-bhar jivan– mera parichay.
(मिट्टी का तन, मस्ती का मन, क्षण भर जीवन, मेरा परिचय)
(A body of clay, a mind full of play, a second of life – that's me)

New Beginning

Unlike every year; this year missed posting during the end of December and in the beginning of Jan. Nevertheless life goes on.

If I have learned anything, it is that I won’t ever be ready for what life throws at me. I won’t have the right words when it counts; I won’t know what to choose when fate itself is staring me down. But now I know I don’t always need to have the right answer.

I’ve learned I can go on waiting for something, sustained by hope and nothing more – or I can put it aside and shrung my shoulders. Bravely accept the fact that I can’t keep my heart safe any more than I can stop love from taking everything from me.

I have learned to stop saying yes when I don’t mean it – to live as authentically as I know how. To allow the tips of my fingers to skirt the darkness, as long as I remember to keep my eyes fixed on the light. And as one door opens and another closes, I will move forward with the knowledge that unlike so many others, I have another year ahead of me – another shot at making it all the way around the sun, and a chance to get it right this time around.

Monday, October 09, 2017

Being Judgemental

Making judgement is fine and needed for living; being judgmental meaning - being overly critical in an unhelpful way, in ways that have harmful or negative consequences is harmful. Here are five signs of being judgemental:
1. Making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others.
2. Having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favour
3. Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others; being inclined to believe the worst.
4. Moving very quickly from judgments of the form "This action is morally wrong" to ones of the form "This person is morally corrupt."
5. Acting as if you can know that what so-and-so did was wrong even though you know much less about the context of so-and-so's action than so-and-so.

Being judgmental distorts our perception of other people, of ourselves and of what matters most in living a well-lived human life.

We judge others because we need to feel better about ourselves. It may make us feel superior or secure in the short-term, but the long-term stress of never feeling good enough can lead to a host of health issues.

How easy it is to be judgemental about others. Most of us are good at it; we judge on how the cricketers should have played; how the soldiers should have fought; who are we to judge and how are we to know what exactly is going at that place, at that point in time – there will be physical, emotional, external and internal factors determining decision making

Being Non judgemental can lead to lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress-related illnesses.

Tame the judgemental you and bring out zen-fullness; here are few tips:

Become aware of your behaviour:
admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery,

Believe in yourself: You don't need to judge others, because you're awesome. So believe in that, and remind yourself of it every day. When you feel truly content and comfortable in your own skin, you'll likely discover that you find less fault in others.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes:
Remember, you make the choices you do because of your unique upbringing and life circumstances. Not everyone has had the same experiences, challenges and blessings you have had. Be empathetic and understanding.

Stop gossiping:
Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal other person’s dignity, honest reputation and credibility; which are challenging to restore. When your feet slip, you can always recover your balance, but when your tongue slips you cannot recover your words.

Watch your language: Don't tell people what they 'should' do, or deem a choice to be right or wrong, bad or good. That's applying your moral code to someone's actions – and it's up to others to decide what's right for them.

If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know about you, don’t feel bad. Just remember, “Dogs bark, if they don’t know the person”

The sooner you break the rule, the better off you are

There is no rule to cling on to the past, except for your parents may be to an extend; because of whom you are born. The sooner you break that rule, the better off you are. Is it true? Depends on at what stage of life you are in. Living in the present means different priorities, different future plans, different preferences, different aspirations. We take with us those who help us meet the above…Walk along. Past is just a milestone.

Just because ‘You’ are my past does not guarantee you being in my present or future; and likewise should all think. There is effort and intent that should translate into keen ness to foster a relationship. Be it friendship or any other. So let us not carry any stress on our shoulders of the past. If there is an agenda for the present or future, let’s get ready for another level of commitments. That’s my take on life of relationships. End of prelude.

Don't be too confident when someone tells you they like you. The real question is, until when? Because just like season, people also change.

Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there’s no love. Without trust there is no reason to continue.

Inner Engineering, Isha and Yoga

“As there is a science and technology to create external wellbeing, there is a whole science and technology for inner wellbeing.” Sadhguru.

Inner Engineering
; is a silent revolution of self-realisation. The prerequisite for it is being intense and relaxed as we are in a cinema theatre. The program has been designed by Sadhguru; Program components include guided meditations and transmission of the sacred Shambhavi Maha Mudra; an ancient and powerful kriya for deep inner transformation, which creates harmony. The main learnings from the program were:

• Our actions depend on our intensity of desire
• We are responsible for what is happening to us and around us
• This moment is inevitable; happiness is getting what you want and accepting it.
• Karma/Action – Take charge of your life.
• Importance of yoga/meditation/natural food & Recipes.

Isha foundation;
a non-profit, volunteer organization addresses all aspects of human wellbeing. This includes its powerful yoga programs for inner transformation like hata yoga, shoonya meditation, Bhava Spandana Program, Samyama; its inspiring social and environmental projects; a range of outreach initiatives such as action for rural rejuvenation, Isha Vidhya and project GreenHands.; Dhyanalinga a multireligious meditation shrine and its Theerthakund.

“The source of life is within you. If you remain in touch with that source, everything about you will be beautiful”

Being to Isha Yoga on the 11th of August was a dream come true though my initial stand remains the same that I follow my innervoice and not any Godman’s – self-proclaimed or Thrust.

Had been for Art of living around 2002 and a yoga teacher myself around 1987-88; and though it had been years, things were just flowing and this was an amazing experience; especially because; as happened to realise later – yoga is not about exercise or body movements alone.

In Patanjali's Yoga Sutra, the eightfold path is called ashtanga, which literally means "eight limbs" (ashta=eight, anga=limb). These eight steps basically act as guidelines on how to live a meaningful and purposeful life.

1. Yama: deals with one's ethical standards and sense of integrity, focusing on our behavior and how we conduct ourselves in life.
Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
1. The five yamas are:
i. Ahimsa: nonviolence
ii. Satya: truthfulness
iii. Asteya: nonstealing
iv. Brahmacharya: continence
v. Aparigraha: noncovetousness

2. Niyama the second limb, has to do with self-discipline and spiritual observances.
The five niyamas are:
I. Saucha: cleanliness
II. Samtosa: contentment
III. Tapas: heat; spiritual austerities
IV. Svadhyaya: study of the sacred scriptures and of one's self
V. Isvara pranidhana: surrender to God

3. Asana: the postures practiced in yoga, comprise the third limb. In the yogic view, the body is a temple of spirit, the care of which is an important stage of our spiritual growth. Through the practice of asanas, we develop the habit of discipline and the ability to concentrate, both of which are necessary for meditation.

4. Pranayama: Generally translated as breath control, this fourth stage consists of techniques designed to gain mastery over the respiratory process while recognizing the connection between the breath, the mind, and the emotions. As implied by the literal translation of pranayama, "life force extension," yogis believe that it not only rejuvenates the body but actually extends life itself. You can practice pranayama as an isolated technique or integrate it into your daily hatha yoga routine.
These first four stages of Patanjali's ashtanga yoga concentrate on refining our personalities, gaining mastery over the body, and developing an energetic awareness of ourselves, all of which prepares us for the second half of this journey, which deals with the senses, the mind, and attaining a higher state of consciousness.

5. Pratyahara: the fifth limb, means withdrawal or sensory transcendence. It is during this stage that we make the conscious effort to draw our awareness away from the external world and outside stimuli. Keenly aware of, yet cultivating a detachment from, our senses, we direct our attention internally. The practice of pratyahara provides us with an opportunity to step back and take a look at ourselves. This withdrawal allows us to objectively observe our cravings: habits that are perhaps detrimental to our health and which likely interfere with our inner growth.

6. Dharana: As each stage prepares us for the next, the practice of pratyahara creates the setting for dharana, or concentration. Having relieved ourselves of outside distractions, we can now deal with the distractions of the mind itself.
In the practice of concentration, which precedes meditation, we learn how to slow down the thinking process by concentrating on a single mental object: a specific energetic center in the body, an image of a deity, or the silent repetition of a sound. We, of course, have already begun to develop our powers of concentration in the previous three stages of posture, breath control, and withdrawal of the senses. In asana and pranayama, although we pay attention to our actions, our attention travels. Our focus constantly shifts as we fine-tune the many nuances of any particular posture or breathing technique. In pratyahara we become self-observant; now, in dharana, we focus our attention on a single point. Extended periods of concentration naturally lead to meditation.

7. Dhyana:Meditation or contemplation, the seventh stage of ashtanga, is the uninterrupted flow of concentration. Although concentration (dharana) and meditation (dhyana) may appear to be one and the same, a fine line of distinction exists between these two stages. Where dharana practices one-pointed attention, dhyana is ultimately a state of being keenly aware without focus. At this stage, the mind has been quieted, and in the stillness it produces few or no thoughts at all. The strength and stamina it takes to reach this state of stillness is quite impressive. But don't give up. While this may seem a difficult if not impossible task, remember that yoga is a process. Even though we may not attain the "picture perfect" pose, or the ideal state of consciousness, we benefit at every stage of our progress.

8. Samadhi: state of ecstasy. At this stage, the meditator merges with his or her point of focus and transcends the Self altogether. The meditator comes to realize a profound connection to the Divine, an interconnectedness with all living things. With this realization comes the "peace that passeth all understanding"; the experience of bliss and being at one with the Universe. What Patanjali has described as the completion of the yogic path is what, deep down, all human beings aspire to: peace. We also might give some thought to the fact that this ultimate stage of yoga—enlightenment—can neither be bought nor possessed. It can only be experienced, the price of which is the continual devotion of the aspirant.

And then there are levels to Samadhi as well – An ocean to learn.

Thanks to Meera; Praseed’s wife for giving a detailed insight into this.

Compatibility Vs. Divorce - Truth is stranger than fiction

What remains together depend upon the compatibility; whether it be people or things.

Irrespective of the level of education, status in society, region people come from – basically human beings are ‘thinking’ animals ; what they think makes the difference

What cannot remain with us in rain, will not be there with us in storm and therefore we would not want them to be together in the sunshine.

At times it is difficult to realise that things are falling apart – could be because we trust beyond how much has to be trusted.

It is easy to break things, but difficult to bring them together. So hurting to see relations break so easily these days; and more so to what extend learned people do it and fail to understand things falling apart.

An Engineer was asked: “ What is the Technical Difference between welding and wedding?” He replied “Not much, both are joints in a way, in welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, and in wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever.

Things and relations fall apart, not always because one is bad (at times may be); but because things and people are not compatible. But there is integrity and trust – especially expected from Human Beings. Heart breaking to see how events in life unfold.

One should not be killed; so also there should not be forged divorce. It should be by mutual consent.

Better people are separated if they are destined or not compatible; but there should be human integrity and basic decency in the way it is done.

They come to us when we least expect them. – All things especially –
• Wedding – People who never want to be married get married, and some marriage turn out to be a success; while those we expect to end up in marriage never happens; this is from time immortal.
• Home – There are people who are unable to construct homes/even a proper roof over their head; some are able to construct but are never fortunate enough to live in their own house
• Death – The only truth of our life. – We never know when we are bound to embrace it.

And divorce is death of a relationship. A delicate one for that matter; made in heaven?

Life is not easy, and Truth is stranger than fiction.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Dunja, Kate to Michelle

The year began with the visit of Dunja from Germany and had Kate from UK mid year followed by Michelle from Canada. Had amazing time, taking them around. With Dunja, had been to every team members house - Athirapilly to Allapuzha enroute the Muvattupuzha - rivers, lakes seas and beaches; with Malls - Ladies day out. She turning 50; stayed at our home too.

And with Kate - had been to Fort Kochi - an amazing moment - we never know what next and when the final Good bye is. Let us live each and every second of our life with love and spread joy and happiness; then to Kodanad now moved to Kappricaud with Jaffer and family; during the same time - had amazing trip with team to Bhoothankettu. We did everything there from trecking, to playing games, singing and campfire.

And then with Mich after 25 years, it was fun moving around Fort Kochi.

House Vs. Spouse

Both important milestones and a moment to celebrate in every person’s life; though all might not keep talking about it, most people dream of having one of each and of their choice.

Some get both above and beyond their expectation and some have to struggle a lot to get them, while for others they just fall in place at the right time.

Many keep thinking which should be a priority, and both just gets delayed. Some insist that they want the one before the other - but for each their own. Some are destined not to have either in their lifetime; and some suffer a great deal on having them.

Habits and Discipline

“There is no such thing as good habits and bad habits. Habit means living life without awareness.”

Would this apply for food and dressing as well?

Had an interesting conversation the other day with regard to dressing.

A friend of mine very particular and careful about dressing, basically a fashionist said – People could wear any dress modern/traditional; loose/tight; they are all individual choices, but wearing dresses with words written on them is inviting and should be avoided – No pun intended; but this was said, by the person who was wearing a dress with something written on it.

So with the food habits or for that matter anyother.

Can we say so with discipline?

Discipline is the suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with self-restraint and control. Discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one's desires. It is doing what needs to be done, even when one don’t want to do it. ‘What needs to be done?’ Can that be like habit without awareness? Nevertheless it does not mean the majority is right, or to go with the crowd. Not confined to one area, but covering words, thoughts and actions.

Celebrating Life at 40

Thank you all my dears for giving me a wonderful day today Thanks for all the valuable time and teachings. Just as it is an annual account closing date; wish we could continue and move forward with more understanding, love, joy and cheer as our opening balances. You are my blessings which keep me happy.

Day began with cake cutting at 12 am, with 40 candles - Thanks to my sweet roommates - Rohini and Christy - and there was the surprise Fish Tank - from Tara, Neil and Sajeev. They brought another cake in the morning; and received tons of books - more than 10 to be precise. Change in team - two teams now.

C/O Saira Banu

Not just 'Hand of God' and 'My mother's hand' , but this movie do make us ponder on so many issues, both social and emotional. With awesome performances by the leading ladies. Even more when you watch the movie at D cinemas.

Saira, a post woman, decides to fight for her adopted son, Joshua, after he is falsely implicated and faces life imprisonment. Manju Warrier, Amala, Shane Nigam were all awesome.

Law of attraction

Never belived in the 'Law of attraction' before as I do now. Started the week singing, 'Tho Kich mere photo' ended the week with tons of pics being clicked Thanks for the Annual day celebration in office; and this time around it was at Royal Residency Kakkanad, and guess what, I was in the reception committee. Next week it was Dil Chatha hey - and had lots of friends, visiting, calling and talking. Bonus being the visit of Ammachi and family.

Vrindhavan - Brijbhoomi to Dwaraka

RadheShyam - The tradition prevails. As per Mythology though Krishna was born in Madhura, he was brought up in Vrindavan, where his father took him, the night he was born. This Brijbhoomi is 11 kms from Madhura and will mismerise you with its temples and prayers and is now in the state of Uttar Pradesh. After Killing his Uncle Kans, when grown up, he went to Dwaraka which is now in Gujarath.

Amma went to Vrindavan last year and to Dwaraka this year. A Bliss!

Beauty and the Beast

Was amazing watching beauty and the best - living the childhood days.

Directed by Bill Condon, the movie had an enchanting cast, beautifully crafted songs, refashioning the classic story. It is worth a watch. Indeed a family musical romantic fantasy adventure film and a friend in need to make a memorable weekend.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Black Box Thinking

Marginal Gains and the secret of High Performance – In this book, Matthew Syed tells the inside story of how success really happens and how we cannot grow unless we are prepared to learn from our mistakes with various case studies and real-world examples; the contents are broadly divided as below:

 Part 1: The Logic of Failure
 Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
 Part3: Confronting Complexity
 Part4: Small Steps and Giant Leaps
 Part5: The Blame Game
 Part6: Creating a Growth culture

To explain them in detail:

 Part 1: The Logic of Failure – Why do mistakes happen? – Few problems are complexity, scarce resource, need to make quick decisions, procrastination and signature (particular trajectories and subtle pattern being followed). The basic perspective that failure is profoundly negative, something to be ashamed of in ourselves and judgemental about in others; the tendency to stigmatise errors is incorrect. Instead of denying failure or spinning it, aviation learns from failure, while in healthcare it is one of evasion. The ‘response’ to failures make the difference. Attention, it turns out is a scarce resource; if you focus on one thing, you will lose awareness of other things. Those with tough task underestimate the time taken to complete them. The mnemonic which has been used to improve the assertiveness in aviation industry is called ‘P.A.C.E’ (Probe, Alert, Challenge, Emergency); none of the members should be afraid to do this. Practice is about harnessing the benefits of leaning from failure while reducing its cost. It is better to fail in practice in preparation for the big stage than on the big stage itself. It is complementary to failing in the real-world which is most threatening to our ego. While learning from failure, we need to remember that we need to take into account all the data, including the data you cannot immediately see, if you are going to learn from adverse incidents. But it also emphasises that learning from failure is not always easy, even in conceptual terms, let alone emotional terms. It takes careful thought and a willingness to pierce through the surface assumptions. Often, it means looking beyond the obvious data to glimpse the underlying lessons. The paradox of success is that, it is built upon failure. The rule book in aviation, procedures there is because someone somewhere died. We cannot forget the lessons, and relearn later. Self-correction is a central aspect of how science progress. We can develop and build mastery with practise, not days and weeks but months and years. Until we change the way we think about failure, the ambition of high performance will remain a mirage. When the mindset of the organisation change, the system start to deliver amazing results. We should stop failure denials.

The difference between aviation and healthcare is sometimes couched in the language of incentives. When pilots make mistakes it results in their own deaths. When a doctor makes a mistake, it results in the death of someone else. That is why pilots are better motivated than doctors to reduce mistakes. Failure is inevitable in a complex world. This is precisely why learning from mistakes is so imperative. True healthcare is more complex with huge diversity, more hands on and rarely has the benefit of autopilot - all of which adds to the scope for error.

 Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
It is the inner tension we feel when among other things our beliefs are challenged by evidence.

 Part3: Confronting Complexity
 Part4: Small Steps and Giant Leaps
 Part5: The Blame Game
 Part6: Creating a Growth culture

All this started and ended with the sad story of Martin losing his wife – because of medical error and he taking this up – ‘So that others may learn, and even more may live’.

The Self-Empowerment Pledge

Seven Simple Promises That will change your life.

Monday’s Promise: Responsibility

I will take complete responsibility for my health, my happiness, my success and my life, and will not blame others for my problems or predicaments.

Tuesday’s Promise: Accountability

I will not allow low self-esteem, self-limiting beliefs, or the negativity of others to prevent me from achieving my authentic goals and from becoming the person I am meant to be.

Wednesday’s Promise: Determination

I will do the things I’m afraid to do, but which I know should be done. Sometimes this will mean asking for help to do that which I cannot do by myself.

Thursday’s Promise: Contribution

I will earn the help I need in advance by helping other people now, and repay the help I receive by serving others later.

Friday’s Promise: Resilience

I will face rejection and failure with courage, awareness, and perseverance, making these experiences the platform for future acceptance and success.

Saturday’s Promise: Perspective

Though I might not understand why adversity happens, by my conscious choice I will find strength, compassion, and grace through my trials.

Sunday’s Promise: Fatih

My faith and my gratitude for all that I have been blessed with will shine through in my attitudes and in my actions.

Miss Smilla’s feeling for snow

Finally finished reading Miss Smilla’s feeling for snow.

A small boy falls to his death from a city rooftop. Accident, say the police. Murder, says his resourceful friend Smilla, who, half- Greenlander, can read the marks left in the snow. The story is about her quest for truth.

A child needs both parents. That is one of the practical reasons why marriage is sacred. That does not mean that I do not regard love between man and woman as holy. It is, however, only one stage along the way. A stage, that I have permitted myself to skip, so to speak.

One of the reasons I’m fond of ice is that it covers the water and makes it solid, safe, negotiable, classifiable. I know that, outside, the waves and the wind have picked up, and far forward the bow of the kronos is pitching through the waves, splintering them, and sending roaring cascades of water along the gunwale until, outside my porthole, they disperse into a whistling mist shining white in the night. On the open sea there are no landmarks, there is only an amorphous, chaotic shifting of directionless masses of water that loom up and break and roll, and their surface is, in turn, broken by subsystems, that interfere and form whirlpools and appear and disappear and finally vanish without a trace. Slowly this confusion will work its way into the labyrinth of my ear and dissolve my sense of orientation ; it will fight its way into my cells and displace their salt concentrations and the conductive power of my nervous system as well, leaving me deaf, blind, and helpless. I’m not afraid of the sea merely because it wants to strangle me. I’s afraid of it because it will take away from me my orientation, the inner gyroscope of my life, my awareness of what is up and down, my connection to absolute space.

A breakdown doesn’t necessarily have to be a collapse; it can also take the form of a quiet slide into resignation. Don’t let loneliness get into you. Let it be a brief period of solitude and introspection, to return to the social group as a stronger person.

It’s only what you do not understand that you can come to a conclusion about. There will be no conclusion.

Thank you Dunja for suggesting this book. It was a memorable journey into a new land, and how the world has shrunk, and science and people, are destroyed for personal gains.

Day for Women

Loved this writing by Preethi – from School days…

If we must celebrate a day for women, let us celebrate freedom from stereotypes, from expectations, from idolisation from sacrifice…
Stop congratulating women for being the secret behind a successful man…start saluting them for being successful!
Stop saying the mother is sacred for all the sacrifices she makes…Try to reduce those sacrifices!
Stop telling women they are beautiful…Try telling them it’s not important to be beautiful!
Stop praising her roles as mother, wife, daughter, sister…celebrate her as an individual, a person, independent of relationships.
Stop justifying her necessity to multitask..Give her a chance not to!
Stop these constructs which are aimed at making her strive for an impossible balance…Let her be inadequate and happy!
Stop making her look at herself through a viewpoint. Let her be imperfect, whimsical, irresponsible, boorish, lazy, fierce, opinionated, loud, flabby, ungroomed, adventurous, unpredictable, unprepared, impractical…and YET be SPECIAL.


Every women who awakens COURAGE in herself is DURGA,
Every women who awakens TRANSFORMATION in herself is KALI
Every women who awakens DEVOTION in herself is PARVATHI
Every women who awakens NURTURING in herself is ANNAPURNA
Every women who awakens SHIVA in herself is SHAKTI
Celebrate the goodness within

Love is in the air this Valentine's day.....

With crazy co-workers, and loving team; there was a new friend this year. The day began with a twist - a so called horror movie which reminded - You can take a girl our of Mumbai, but not mumbai out of a girl-

Anyone who loves, in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time. Once in Life, Do fall in Love, not necessarily with a person, but with an idea, a dream, an ambition...More often it'll be a reason to wake up with a smile.

And so well was the office arranged for this day, indeed we love our work - comming late, leaving early and so many different things - for each their own!

Had an amazing day with my colleagues. Love you zindagi!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2017


Young or Old,
Healthy or unhealthy,
Rich or poor,
Men or Women,
Liked or unliked,
Whatever or wherever you are,
One thing is for sure,
We gonna die.

Life is but a fleeting show,
All tall, as a ball,
Why this ego, why the fight,
We are one, belonging
To the human race.

The Girl on The Train

Here comes another in line or next to "The girl with a dragon Tatoo" and " Gone Girl" - Indeed " Gripping, enthralling - a top-notch thriller and a compulsive read"

"Rachel, devastated by her recent divorce, spends her daily commute fantasizing about the seemingly perfect couple who live in a house that her train passes every day, until one morning she sees something shocking happen there and becomes entangled in the mystery that unfolds. Based on Paula Hawkins' bestselling novel."

The story is a first-person narrative told from the point of view of three women: Rachel, Anna, and Megan. The three women from life of Tom, whose whole life was constructed on lies - falsehoods and half-truths told to make him look better, stronger, more interesting than he was.

Hollowness: There isn't anything you can do to fix it. The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Past is a bucket of ashes

There is a famous quote which say: "I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, no just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post mortems; and remember, no one can get the jump on the future."

We carry some ashes with us, while disburse some ashes and carry the memories, while some others are completely wiped out.

We live life only once, and to make it memorable and enjoy it, better we don't carry with us any grudges, and harsh memories. Live life as it comes. Embrace change and reality, and move on.

All for himself, and God for All.
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister..

Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.

Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.

This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

- Paulo Coelho