Thursday, September 14, 2017

Dunja, Kate to Michelle


The year began with the visit of Dunja from Germany and had Kate from UK mid year followed by Michelle from Canada. Had amazing time, taking them around. With Dunja, had been to every team members house - Athirapilly to Allapuzha enroute the Muvattupuzha - rivers, lakes seas and beaches; with Malls - Ladies day out. She turning 50; stayed at our home too.

And with Kate - had been to Fort Kochi - an amazing moment - we never know what next and when the final Good bye is. Let us live each and every second of our life with love and spread joy and happiness; then to Kodanad now moved to Kappricaud with Jaffer and family; during the same time - had amazing trip with team to Bhoothankettu. We did everything there from trecking, to playing games, singing and campfire.

And then with Mich after 25 years, it was fun moving around Fort Kochi.

House Vs. Spouse


Both important milestones and a moment to celebrate in every person’s life; though all might not keep talking about it, most people dream of having one of each and of their choice.

Some get both above and beyond their expectation and some have to struggle a lot to get them, while for others they just fall in place at the right time.

Many keep thinking which should be a priority, and both just gets delayed. Some insist that they want the one before the other - but for each their own. Some are destined not to have either in their lifetime; and some suffer a great deal on having them.

Habits and Discipline


“There is no such thing as good habits and bad habits. Habit means living life without awareness.”

Would this apply for food and dressing as well?

Had an interesting conversation the other day with regard to dressing.

A friend of mine very particular and careful about dressing, basically a fashionist said – People could wear any dress modern/traditional; loose/tight; they are all individual choices, but wearing dresses with words written on them is inviting and should be avoided – No pun intended; but this was said, by the person who was wearing a dress with something written on it.

So with the food habits or for that matter anyother.

Can we say so with discipline?

Discipline is the suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with self-restraint and control. Discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one's desires. It is doing what needs to be done, even when one don’t want to do it. ‘What needs to be done?’ Can that be like habit without awareness? Nevertheless it does not mean the majority is right, or to go with the crowd. Not confined to one area, but covering words, thoughts and actions.

Celebrating Life at 40


Thank you all my dears for giving me a wonderful day today Thanks for all the valuable time and teachings. Just as it is an annual account closing date; wish we could continue and move forward with more understanding, love, joy and cheer as our opening balances. You are my blessings which keep me happy.

Day began with cake cutting at 12 am, with 40 candles - Thanks to my sweet roommates - Rohini and Christy - and there was the surprise Fish Tank - from Tara, Neil and Sajeev. They brought another cake in the morning; and received tons of books - more than 10 to be precise. Change in team - two teams now.


And what an amazing art work! Truly incredible! The art director being Sanju Vimal.

C/O Saira Banu


Not just 'Hand of God' and 'My mother's hand' , but this movie do make us ponder on so many issues, both social and emotional. With awesome performances by the leading ladies. Even more when you watch the movie at D cinemas.

Saira, a post woman, decides to fight for her adopted son, Joshua, after he is falsely implicated and faces life imprisonment. Manju Warrier, Amala, Shane Nigam were all awesome.

Law of attraction



Never belived in the 'Law of attraction' before as I do now. Started the week singing, 'Tho Kich mere photo' ended the week with tons of pics being clicked Thanks for the Annual day celebration in office; and this time around it was at Royal Residency Kakkanad, and guess what, I was in the reception committee. Next week it was Dil Chatha hey - and had lots of friends, visiting, calling and talking. Bonus being the visit of Ammachi and family.

Vrindhavan - Brijbhoomi to Dwaraka


RadheShyam - The tradition prevails. As per Mythology though Krishna was born in Madhura, he was brought up in Vrindavan, where his father took him, the night he was born. This Brijbhoomi is 11 kms from Madhura and will mismerise you with its temples and prayers and is now in the state of Uttar Pradesh. After Killing his Uncle Kans, when grown up, he went to Dwaraka which is now in Gujarath.

Amma went to Vrindavan last year and to Dwaraka this year. A Bliss!

Beauty and the Beast


Was amazing watching beauty and the best - living the childhood days.

Directed by Bill Condon, the movie had an enchanting cast, beautifully crafted songs, refashioning the classic story. It is worth a watch. Indeed a family musical romantic fantasy adventure film and a friend in need to make a memorable weekend.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Black Box Thinking


Marginal Gains and the secret of High Performance – In this book, Matthew Syed tells the inside story of how success really happens and how we cannot grow unless we are prepared to learn from our mistakes with various case studies and real-world examples; the contents are broadly divided as below:

 Part 1: The Logic of Failure
 Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
 Part3: Confronting Complexity
 Part4: Small Steps and Giant Leaps
 Part5: The Blame Game
 Part6: Creating a Growth culture

To explain them in detail:



The sad story of Martin losing his wife – because of medical error and he taking this up – ‘So that others may learn, and even more may live’.

ü Part 1: The Logic of Failure – Why mistakes happen? – Complexity, scarce resource, need to make quick decisions, procrastination and signature (particular trajectories and subtle pattern being followed). Perspective that failure is profoundly negative, something to be ashamed of in ourselves and judgemental about in others; the tendency to stigmatize errors is incorrect. Aviation learns from failure, while healthcare evades. The ‘response’ to failures make the difference. Those with tough task underestimate the time taken to complete them. The mnemonic which has been used to improve the assertiveness in aviation industry is called ‘P.A.C.E’ (Probe, Alert, Challenge, Emergency). Practice is about harnessing the benefits of leaning from failure while reducing its cost. It is better to fail in practice than on the big stage itself. It is complementary to failing in the real-world which is most threatening to our ego. While learning from failure, we need to take into account all the data, including that we cannot immediately see, to learn from adverse incidents. It is not easy, even in conceptual terms, let alone emotional terms. It takes careful thought and a willingness to pierce through the surface assumptions. Need to look beyond the obvious data to glimpse the underlying lessons. The paradox of success is that, it is built upon failure. The rule book in aviation, procedures there is because someone somewhere died. We cannot forget the lessons, and relearn later. Self-correction is a central aspect of how science progress. We can develop and build mastery with practise, not days and weeks but months and years. Until we change the way we think about failure, the ambition of high performance will remain a mirage. Stop failure denials.

When pilots make mistakes, it results in their own deaths, doctor mistake, results in the death of someone else. So, pilots are better motivated than doctors to reduce mistakes. Failure is inevitable in a complex world so learning from mistakes is so imperative. Healthcare is more complex with huge diversity, more hands on and rarely has the benefit of autopilot - all of which adds to the scope for error.


ü Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
It is the inner tension we feel when among other things our beliefs are challenged by evidence. It is held up as a testament to the quirkiness of human psychology. People should not be punished for the crimes they didn’t commit. There is a rather obvious trade-off between two of the key objectives of the justice system: Convicting the guilty and acquitting the innocent. It is important to reduce wrongful conviction without compromising rightful convictions. There could be errors of commission or omissions. Deceptions could be external/internal/deliberate. When we think of miscarriages of justice, we often focus on the person who has been jailed for a crime he didn’t commit. But devastating is the real criminal is committing more crimes.

ü Part3: Confronting Complexity

Tendency to underestimate the complexity around us is a well- studied aspect of human psychology, and it is underpinned, in part, by the so-called narrative fallacy. We are so eager to impose patterns upon what we see, so hardwired to provide explanations, that we are capable of ‘explaining’ opposite outcomes with the same cause without noticing the inconsistency. Narrative fallacies arises inevitably from our continuous attempt to make sense of the world. The explanatory stories that people find compelling are simple, concrete, assign a larger role to talent, stupidity and intentions and focus on a few striking events that happened. Feedbacks helps. There might be no time for Masterplans, need to learn from rapid interactions too. Cognitive Dissonance helps us reframe, spin and sometimes edit our mistakes.


ü Part4: Small Steps and Giant Leaps

The approach of Marginal Gains comes from the idea that if you break down a big goal into small parts, and then improve on each of them, you will deliver a huge increase when you put them all together. Easy to comment, difficult to perform. Go out and test. You might be wrong, but it will lead to progress. Progress is not about small steps, but creative leaps. It is a matter of debate if we need to focus on bold leaps or marginal gains – Simple answer is both. Success is about developing the capacity to think big and small, to be both imaginative and disciplined, to immerse oneself in the minutiae of a problem and to stand beyond it in order to glimpse the wider vista. Innovation cannot happen without failure. The aversion to failure is the single largest obstacle to creative change.

When things go smooth, we might not have motivation to be better, to change. Challenge help us grow, be better. Eg. Relativity, masking tape, wind-up radio, ATM, Dropbox. Creativity should be thought of as a dialogue. You have to have a problem before you can have the game-changing riposte. Creativity is connecting things. The eureka moment is not the endpoint of innovation, it is the start of most fascinating stage.


ü Part5: The Blame Game

Blame is a subversion of the narrative fallacy: an oversimplification driven by biases in the human brain. It has subtle but measurable consequences, undermining our capacity to learn. Engage with the complexity of the world to learn from it. Resist the hardwired tendency to blame instantly, look deeper into factors surrounding error, create culture based on openness and honesty rather than defensiveness and back-covering. Blame often leads to what is called ‘circular firing squad’ - where everyone is blaming everyone else. It is familiar in business, politics and military; a mutual exercise in deflecting responsibility. Everyone may be sincere, but think that it is other’s fault. Blame too much and people will clam up. Blame too little and they will become sloppy. A contrast is often offered between ‘blame culture’ and ‘anything goes’ culture. Judged from deeper angle, these are not in conflict. Reconciliation of -discipline and openness lies in black box thinking. Justifiable blame does not undermine openness. ‘Just culture’. For this there needs to be Trust. There is almost no human action or decision that cannot be made to look flawed and less sensible in the misleading light of hindsight.

Overcoming the blame tendency is a defining issue in the corporate world. Ben Dattner, a psychologist and organizational consultant writes about a coworker who had stapled to his cubical, six phases of a project:

Enthusiasm
Disillusionment
Panic
Search for the guilty
Punishment of the innocent
Rewards for the uninvolved


Professionals working on the ground have crucial data to share in almost any context. So openness is not an optional extra, it is a useful cultural add-on.

Meritocracy is synonymous with forward accountability. True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.


ü Part6: Creating a Growth culture

A growth-orientated culture is not a happy-clappy, wishy-washy, we-are-all-winners approach to business or life. And it is certainly not a trope to egalitarian sensibilities. Rather it is a cutting-edge approach to organizational psychology based upon the most basic scientific principle of all: we progress fastest when we face up to failure – and learn from it.

Mindset is not quite as binary as it might sound. Success is based on a combination of talent and practice. When someone is given a new challenge, they will be less than perfect first time. Some seek feedback and improve, others are threatened by initial ‘failure’ and try never to be in the same situation again.

Failure is a means of learning, progressing and becoming more creative. Don’t deal with failure as it did not happen or blame someone else. That would be wasted opportunity. Take action to make a difference. Positive ones. At times people are prepared to go to a great extend to protect their ego and the expense of their own long-term success, this is called ‘self-handicapping’. Self-esteem can cause us to jeopardize learning if we think it might risk us looking anything less than perfect. What we really need is resilence, the capacity to face failure and to learn from it. Ultimately, that is what growth is all about.

Through seeking we learn and know things better. The first and most important issue is to create a revolution in the way we think about failure. Remember no one can possibly give us more service than by showing us what is wrong with what we think or do.

The Self-Empowerment Pledge


Seven Simple Promises That will change your life.

Monday’s Promise: Responsibility

I will take complete responsibility for my health, my happiness, my success and my life, and will not blame others for my problems or predicaments.

Tuesday’s Promise: Accountability

I will not allow low self-esteem, self-limiting beliefs, or the negativity of others to prevent me from achieving my authentic goals and from becoming the person I am meant to be.

Wednesday’s Promise: Determination

I will do the things I’m afraid to do, but which I know should be done. Sometimes this will mean asking for help to do that which I cannot do by myself.

Thursday’s Promise: Contribution

I will earn the help I need in advance by helping other people now, and repay the help I receive by serving others later.

Friday’s Promise: Resilience

I will face rejection and failure with courage, awareness, and perseverance, making these experiences the platform for future acceptance and success.

Saturday’s Promise: Perspective

Though I might not understand why adversity happens, by my conscious choice I will find strength, compassion, and grace through my trials.

Sunday’s Promise: Fatih

My faith and my gratitude for all that I have been blessed with will shine through in my attitudes and in my actions.

Miss Smilla’s feeling for snow


Finally finished reading Miss Smilla’s feeling for snow.

A small boy falls to his death from a city rooftop. Accident, say the police. Murder, says his resourceful friend Smilla, who, half- Greenlander, can read the marks left in the snow. The story is about her quest for truth.

A child needs both parents. That is one of the practical reasons why marriage is sacred. That does not mean that I do not regard love between man and woman as holy. It is, however, only one stage along the way. A stage, that I have permitted myself to skip, so to speak.

One of the reasons I’m fond of ice is that it covers the water and makes it solid, safe, negotiable, classifiable. I know that, outside, the waves and the wind have picked up, and far forward the bow of the kronos is pitching through the waves, splintering them, and sending roaring cascades of water along the gunwale until, outside my porthole, they disperse into a whistling mist shining white in the night. On the open sea there are no landmarks, there is only an amorphous, chaotic shifting of directionless masses of water that loom up and break and roll, and their surface is, in turn, broken by subsystems, that interfere and form whirlpools and appear and disappear and finally vanish without a trace. Slowly this confusion will work its way into the labyrinth of my ear and dissolve my sense of orientation ; it will fight its way into my cells and displace their salt concentrations and the conductive power of my nervous system as well, leaving me deaf, blind, and helpless. I’m not afraid of the sea merely because it wants to strangle me. I’s afraid of it because it will take away from me my orientation, the inner gyroscope of my life, my awareness of what is up and down, my connection to absolute space.

A breakdown doesn’t necessarily have to be a collapse; it can also take the form of a quiet slide into resignation. Don’t let loneliness get into you. Let it be a brief period of solitude and introspection, to return to the social group as a stronger person.

It’s only what you do not understand that you can come to a conclusion about. There will be no conclusion.

Thank you Dunja for suggesting this book. It was a memorable journey into a new land, and how the world has shrunk, and science and people, are destroyed for personal gains.

Day for Women


Loved this writing by Preethi – from School days…

If we must celebrate a day for women, let us celebrate freedom from stereotypes, from expectations, from idolisation from sacrifice…
Stop congratulating women for being the secret behind a successful man…start saluting them for being successful!
Stop saying the mother is sacred for all the sacrifices she makes…Try to reduce those sacrifices!
Stop telling women they are beautiful…Try telling them it’s not important to be beautiful!
Stop praising her roles as mother, wife, daughter, sister…celebrate her as an individual, a person, independent of relationships.
Stop justifying her necessity to multitask..Give her a chance not to!
Stop these constructs which are aimed at making her strive for an impossible balance…Let her be inadequate and happy!
Stop making her look at herself through a viewpoint. Let her be imperfect, whimsical, irresponsible, boorish, lazy, fierce, opinionated, loud, flabby, ungroomed, adventurous, unpredictable, unprepared, impractical…and YET be SPECIAL.

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Every women who awakens COURAGE in herself is DURGA,
Every women who awakens TRANSFORMATION in herself is KALI
Every women who awakens DEVOTION in herself is PARVATHI
Every women who awakens NURTURING in herself is ANNAPURNA
Every women who awakens SHIVA in herself is SHAKTI
Celebrate the goodness within

Love is in the air this Valentine's day.....


With crazy co-workers, and loving team; there was a new friend this year. The day began with a twist - a so called horror movie which reminded - You can take a girl our of Mumbai, but not mumbai out of a girl-

Anyone who loves, in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time. Once in Life, Do fall in Love, not necessarily with a person, but with an idea, a dream, an ambition...More often it'll be a reason to wake up with a smile.

And so well was the office arranged for this day, indeed we love our work - comming late, leaving early and so many different things - for each their own!

Had an amazing day with my colleagues. Love you zindagi!!!