Leap...

 Yes, Thank You God, for today is the Leap Day, of this Leap Year.

Harrasment

 The word that's haunting me. 

Harassment. 

Job loss. Police Case. All in the name of Harassment.

And of so many types:

• Loud sound
• Liquor consumption
• Anger
• Sexual
• Mental torture
• Responsibility
• Old people being around

1. Grief to acceptance - a journey of healing, self-love, and growth.

2. Emotional balance is the key to living again and growing.

3. Aligning with your deeper self wakes up the best version of you.

4. Resilience and loving yourself will make you endure and live again.

5. Nothing belongs to you in this world, overcome the pain of losing someone.

6. No one will ever make you stride in despair, the decision is yours.

7. Acceptance is rooting down to grow.

8. Intense cold to apricity and the calmness after the storm.

Reading Tit Bits

A friend shared:  

1) The minute I was bored with a book or a subject I moved to another one, instead of giving up on reading altogether.

2) The trick is to be bored with a specific book, rather than with the act of reading.

3) A good book gets better at the second reading. A great book at the third. Any book not worth rereading isn’t worth reading.

4) I follow the Lindy effect as a guide in selecting what to read: books that have been around for ten years will be around for ten more; books that have been around for two millennia should be around for quite a bit of time, and so forth.

5) The reading of a single text twice is more profitable than reading two different things once.

6) A private library is not an ego-boosting appendage but a research tool.

7) Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. The library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there.

8) Drink old wine. Read old books. Keep old friends.

9) Read nothing from the past one hundred years.

10) Never read a book that can be adequately summarized.

11) Never read a book you would not reread.

12) No book that can be shortened survives.

13) Books that endure don't look like good books; they are almost always very poorly written, but address fundamental topics.

14) What matters for a book is depth and relevance, which is extremely rare. Plus internal, not external coherence. Books that have them don't need the cosmetic shit.

15) When a risk taker writes a book, read it. 

16) Keep the book. Easier to remember contents just by looking at it. Often not even necessary to consult notes.

17) I don't remember what I learned in class. I remember much of what I read on my own.

18) To become a scholar, spend decades reading 30-40 h/week.

19) You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books.

20) I don’t read newspapers. I don’t watch television. I’m not on Facebook. I don’t care for the social networks. I’m on Twitter, but I use it only as a means to an end. I read books.

21) Books are not read by the majority because they read the Internet, which is like junk food for the mind.

22) The unread books on your shelf are like a universe of alternate possibilities waiting to be explored.

23) I divide my spirits into two categories: those I read for the pleasure of reading and those I read for the pleasure of rereading.

24) To see if a book is real, ask 10 people of different backgrounds & professions to summarize it. If the summaries are similar, the book will not survive as it can be shortened to a journal article.

The more the summaries diverge, the higher the dimensionality of the book.

25) If you want to study classical values such as courage or learn about stoicism, don’t necessarily look for classicists. One is never a career academic without a reason. Read the texts themselves: Seneca, Caesar, or Marcus Aurelius, when possible. Or read commentators on the classics who were doers themselves, such as Montaigne—people who at some point had some skin in the game, then retired to write books. Avoid the intermediary, when possible.

26) Criticism, for a book, is a truthful, unfaked badge of attention, signaling that it is not boring; and boring is the only very bad thing for a book. Consider the Ayn Rand phenomenon: her books Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead have been read for more than half a century by millions of people, in spite of, or most likely thanks to, brutally nasty reviews and attempts to discredit her.

27) A novel you like resembles a friend. You read it and reread it, getting to know it better. Like a friend, you accept it the way it is; you do not judge it.

It's the writing that counts, not the format.

Stronger, Wiser, Calmer

 This is how the plan is - motto for here on. 

We need to be stronger, wiser and calmer. 

So many things happening.

So much of changes.

So much of miscommunication.

So much  the need of love.

So much of urgency.

So much to be done.

Stronger, I am, and am going to be. 

Wiser, I am, and am going to be. 

Calmer, I am, and am going to be. 

Decision Making

Own your downtime.  Get out of it ASAP  . Change the frequency.

 There is nothing comming your way if you did not have it inside you to do it.

The cost of inaction is always more than making a mistake.

Decisions are always neutral. 

You give it meaning of being right and wrong 

Decision give direction to life.

11 Rules for Life : Secrets to Level Up : Chetan Bhagat (13 of 24)

 

The Zomato Delivery guy

One summer afternoon, Viraj, a food delivery guy, brings lunch for an author named Chetan. He is late and appears to be in distress. When Chetan asks him what the matter is, Viraj breaks down.

‘I hate my life. My career is going nowhere. My girlfriend left me. I have no future,’ he says.

The author offers Viraj a deal. ‘I can fix this for you. Come back every day, when I order lunch. Each day, I will tell you one secret I’ve learnt about life.’

Welcome to 11 Rules for Life, a no-holds-barred book that will transform your life.

Pre rule warm up - How the world actually works

1. Never ignore your fitness
2. Master your emotions
3. Put yourself first
4. Master Simple English
5. No Cheap dopamine - Dopamine is known as the “feel-good” hormone. It gives you a sense of pleasure. It also gives you the motivation to do something when you're feeling pleasure. Dopamine is part of your reward system. Often called the "happy hormone," dopamine results in feelings of well-being. A primary driver of the brain's reward system, it spikes when we experience something pleasurable. 
6. Chase the hard things
7. Eat the Elephant : Do big things first
8. Be the Cockroach : *
9. Learn to connect with people
10. It's my fault
11. Earn, Save and Invest

In his most personal book yet, Chetan draws on his personal failures and triumphs, his many conversations with high achievers from all walks of life and over two decades as a celebrated motivational speaker.

Written in the inimitable style that has made Chetan one of India’s top-selling writers, this inspiring, easy-to-read and straight-talking guide will help you rewire your brain for success in today’s ultra-competitive and unfair world.

5 Years later

*Be the Cockroach : *

1.   Resilience and survival: They can go up to a month or more without food. They can survive just about anything. 

2.   Community: They symbolize healthy friendships and communities. They are known to rely heavily on partnerships and communal feelings.

3.   Darkness and renewal: They are considered spiritual guides for you if you want to embrace all of your insecurities. Just as they prefer to hide in the dark, you will also be able to make peace with your darkness. Darkness to every living organism is a part of their life. They are symbolized to be a great helpmate for you to navigate through the darkness and mysticism.

Malaikottai Vaaliban

Malayalam movie Malaikottai Vaaliban directed by LJP (Lijo Jose Pellissery)  starring  Mohanlal,  Marathi actress sonalee Kulkarni,  Bengali actress Katha nandi, Hareesh Peradi  and many other actors.

This movie is a typical  LJP style movie and not a mass movie. It's a fantasy  movie shown in LJP style hence not sure if it would get connected  to all.

Standout of this movie is the visuals ...Wow what a cinematography, camera  placements , long shots and some frames are just mind blowing.

Madhu Neelakhandan as cinematographer  will surely win some awards for his work in this movie.

Another important  and best part was the music  and BGM Prashant Pillai  just amazing  work on music. Actually the BGM and sound effects made the movie watchable and get connected  to the story.

Its a story  about a warrior who proves to be a hero by defending  every opponents he meets while travelling  to different  villages in his bullock cart.

In this journey he meets many people  which leads to fight which further leads to making enemies and then there is revenge, cheating, sacrifices,love and haltered that happens. 

Mohanlal has done full justice  to the role of Vaaliban, his action sequence,  dailogue  delivery and all was really good.

Hareesh Peradi,  Danish Sait ,Manoj Moses played very important  role in the movie and gave their best performances 

Typical LJP movie where you have long shots ,slow dialogues , and even slow action makes the movie very lengthy. 

Sometimes you will feel it's dragged a lot and will  make you bored.

You feel you are watching  a stage drama where  there is dialogues,  dance ,music, drama, emotions and action.

If you go and watch this movie as mass entertainer then you will be disappointed. Not many people like and enjoy such slow paced movie you really need some patience to watch it

Vibrant colours,  good visuals , action choreography ,a mind blowing  music and bgm is the overall strength  of the movie.

Kudos to LJP  for taking risks and courage to   make  big canvas movie like this where he had to manage so many artists,  giving attention to every detail and create a visual treat for audiences. 

I think in Malayalam  cinema only he can do it and only he can have such vision.

I appreciate the effort he has taken. Creativity at its best and none of his movies  from past are repeated  every time he comes up with something  new and stylish.

This movie will be discussed  a lot especially  for his making and technical brilliance .

I would say it's a average movie one time watch but must watch in theatres  because  in theatres  you can enjoy  the visuals, sound and all .

The makers  have smartly ended the movie giving hopes about part 2 of this movie . Will  have to wait and watch for that.

There is no ecstasy like that of a victory. I was lost in the mirth unaware of the treachery hidden in that moment. When you become carried away, you become oblivious to the treachery. 

Sea is born out of tears and blood. So the dialogue says. Unfortunately both are not my cup of tea. 

Reflection on Eating disorder

 Persistent belief that this is alien to India, may be because of lack of awareness. 

Obsession to keep with trend, is creating toxic environment. 

How can we create a more nurturing environment?

Mirror Mirror on the wall,

How many of us check ourselves in the mirror very often? Check our weight quite often?

Do not downgrade self. 

Disorder is difficult to accept self. 

Don't get ino binge eating but get into discipline and consistency. 

Thought makes the lifestyle. 

What is eating disorder?

Not a disease, It's an obsession of eating more or not at all. It effects physically, emotionally and mentally. 

Better to consult counsellor, or get the Mental health right. 

Types - There are 6 types:

1. Anorexia Nervosa :Starving and weighs 15 person lower and in constant fear of putting on weight, 
2. Bulimia Nervosa : Eat and puke, hide food and eat alone - Constantly dieting but not leasing weight. 
3. Binge Eating: Continuously eating
4. PICA: Eat something not considered food  like chalk, paper, 
5. Rumination Disorder: puking, reswollow and chew, mind game - 
6. Restrictive food intake order: 

Eating Disorder is a serious illness. 

It is not a disease, but it is something we need to be careful about. It is serious. 

Behaviour

It is not just about food. 

1. Body Image - Discipline and consistency
2. Self Esteem
3. Depression
4. External Influences
5. Family related issues
6. Media

Signs and Symptoms

Indicators:

Eating disorders are not just about food. It is psychological, emotional. It has to do with food but not just about food. 

Yes we can come out of eating disorder. 

It might cause amenorrhea, weight loss, vomiting, menstrual irregularities, 

Role of society

A small passing comment can effect someone in a way beyond our imagination. 

Proper health style is important. 

Dietary Intervention - What to include?

Body needs to be nourished. It comes from the needs

Seek support. 

Relationship with Narcissist

You build yourself. 

Be in a relationship that is more equal. 

In a relationship it is communication that is going to save the marriage. 

Communication of unexpressed emotions. 

They hurt you at places where you do not know how to reach and heal. 

System or routine, should be build in, we need to honor the other person's need. 

Nack to get people to bring to the topic of your interest, get the entry point, from the topic of their interest. 

Every marriage is different. 

Narcissist partners. 

Different people have different coping mechanisam to a fight. 

Kind of partner, is kind of coping mechanisam. 

700 days - marriage to narcisist will damage you. 

Ignore the game he is playing, it gives him control. 

Role of partner, when other is high, bring them down; when you are down they bring you up. 

If you are down in the dumb and they hurt you, you are with the wrong person. 

Go on a 700 day journey. 

Narcist will keep increasing the fire, damage. Their energy will keep pulling you down that will disturb you. 

Work your 700 days. 

Start building your life. 

Don't stay in the relationship and hammer yourself on why you are in it. Stop hammering yourself. It does more damage. 

Narcissists wont let you heal, or get back to your financial independence, drain you completely. 

700 days journey of financial independence. 

Narcissist loves control. You are his toy. 

Be powerful enough to manage your life in your way. 

Have 6 months of cusion before you leave out. 

Completely outgrow him. Days he suits him, he make promises, and day that dont suit him, he does not even remember having promised. 

This birth is your test to stand up for yourself. 

Am I:

• feeling hurt, 
• You just hurt me. 

Stay radical to catch them, and keep quite. 

Don't let the joke or insult pass. 

Silence is very uncomfortable for this person. 

Trust is build by the other person. 

Deal with your own insecurity. - 

Rethink and restructure, to get peace. 

Toby Robins,

"Behave the rest of your life how you were in the first month of your life. " 

Both being aggresive at same time will not work.

When emotions settle, you need to speak 'My dear, the way you speak', it does not work. '.

Seeding: Start with No, end with Yes depending on how persistent we are. 

Grow and fix yourself. Communicate more.

Magic happens when you get detached to the idea of fixing someone. 

Every body can give you only so much that they have. 

Majority of people are in relationship with you because they have an agenda with you, they are acquantances. 

Only 4-5 people are in relationship. 

For a perfectionist husband even the best is not enough. You will get enslaved in serving him. Choose what you want to be best in and what you dont want you to be. 

Don't get cluster phobic

Be mindful, or pay the price.

Be grateful for who you are and develop self. 

If you are not able to tell about the course, don't carry guilt. The day your spouse is able to handle the truth, it will come out. 

If you are focused on one another, you will be like a crab, trying to pull others down.

Both of you grow parallelly. 

Forgiving means dont want to carry poison

Apology accept You can deny trust. Let go. 

We eventually become the people we think about most. If we keep thinking about damaging people it will be a poison that will kill you. 

Estaperal - monogomy

https://doctor-ramani.com/

Communication is important, for what you get from communication congratulations and get a chance.

But even after communicating if it does not happen, need to make right decision. 

Narcissist can be challenging, but understanding their behaviour will help. Understand their core,:

• They crave for admiration and want to be known as superior
• They charma and exploit others many a time, emotional manupulation
• They struggle to understand your feelings. 

Your response

• Set clear limits and intentions, communicate what you will and will not tolerate. Be assertive and calm. 
• Become emotionally unresponsive like rocks. 
• Focus on your self. Don't get drawn in their drama. 

Understanding does not excuse their behaviour. You deserve better. 

Set boundaries. 

Sonu Nigam

Born to a singer family,  he had acted in movies as kid, studied in Delhi wanted to be a scientist, ended up becoming singer. Love physics.  

18 film fair nomination, got 2 and one national award. 2004 realised the value. 

Consider self has a 15 rupee valued, as that is what he got as a beggar, when he enacted. It is because of others he get what he is getting now. 

He is famous for his hairstyle - so much so that when we went to get the national award - his hairstyle and President Abdul Kalam had same hairstyle - he told him same to same, and President said copyright. 

Others can put food into our mouth, we need to chew it. We need to keep chewing. Stand up in front of others. Face insult. 

Stood for 7 hours. You need to wait, be prepared. Keep your sword sharp. When the door opens, rush in. Walk with your head now. Why are you so proud? Be grounded. You need not be street smart and manipulative. 

You need talent and skill.  Sharpen it and become the magnet. Become a better human being. People of good intention is successful. 

You need to have honesty and surrender. Be inspired and not jealous. You need to see God in everyone.  

Music is a state of Being. 

A journey from zero to zero. Infinity starts from zero and goes to zero. 

An amalgam of Sur and Thal - Tune and Beat. Both are same. 

Does not exist in the physical world, but in the quantum world. 

My music and being stems from knowing that the story going on here is different, what you understand is something different. 

I practice because I want to do. 

Still pursuing the gifts, respect your talent. Amitabh Bachan, Aishwarya Rai. 

Everything will not happen. 

Discipline. 

We should walk with our head down. 

Aham Brahmasmi!

Initially it takes time to set up, but then it is joy. 

God lies in detailing. 

Sudh Sarang - mountain - morning. 

Kids learn fast when young. When adult effort needed will be more. But can do. 

Bhatkande book of music. 

The core of music is Nada tune. 

Bass Music. 

Emotional Rote - have effect in our activity. 

Any human cannot claim to be original, we get something and add our ingredients and create recipe. 

Listen, don't judge. Learn. All are our teacher. Bow your head. 

Listen! Listen! Listen!

Dont be proud.

Learn, Learn, Learn. 

Actually I am God. You are God. 

Satisfied and quenced now, then hungry - That person is not the one today. 

Transition point was Kal Ho Na Ho. 

Art has nothing to do with wisdom. 

I wanted to detangle my life of anger, envy, all of us will have this until we die. 

God lives in work. 

We don't visualise, when we sing, we die. We merge in our work. Singer become the song and the song becomes the singer.  I don't think. 

The work gives happiness is great, but if it brings tears of joy, nothing like that. 

It happens with time. Not age. I have handed myself to the nature 

I will not swim, I will flow. I will take nature take me. I don't wat to fight. 

Ultimately it would take me to the sea. Don't fight.

Bitter Betryals - Acha Sela Diya

Pop Music entered film music. 

Today singer's have a cult. 

Respect the art - Rap - they say in your language. 

Rap took over rock. 

This has happened to Gazal, Quawwali. Quawwali has become Sufi. 

Sufi is a state of being. 

Music keep transcending, It will reappear. 

Trans music - will take over rock. 

It's just the destiny. When some person's time is right - we like everything about them. 

Being at the right time at the right place is luck. 

Ethereal Thoughts. 

Evolving without Manifesting is not right. 

Important to know and learn, what not to do. It is also equally important. 

Everyone has their journey, let them travell. Do not give gyan, you will become gyando. First become a student. 

What is right for me, may not be right for you. 

We need blessings from all - especially from Youngsters. 

Three people had tried to put him down, Shiv Sena - Smita, T-Series, and Salman Khan. 

Equilibrium. On stage - it is litmus test. AI nothing to worry. When God closes one door, he opens another. 

Master over a craft. 

Drake - outsider - outsourcing. It happens everywhere. Automation of personal branding. 

Sambki apni journey hey journey do. 

Radar and Antenna has to be up. You can learn everything from the darkness of your home. 

Have Fun! where you are.

Thank you Sir, for being an inspiration for your songs. 

The Kerala Story

The film is directed by Sudipto Sen and backed by Vipul Shah. The Kerala Story follows the story of three girls: Shalini (Adah Sharma), Nimah (Yogita Bihani), and Geetanjali (Siddhi Idnani), who are manipulated by their roommate, Asifa (Sonia Balani), into converting to another religion.

The movie is divided into two parts: the first half portrays how the girls were manipulated into converting to another religion, while the second half shows Shalini's journey as Fatima Ba - a converted member of a terrorist group and her imprisonment in Afghanistan. It also shows how men were brainwashed too to woo Hindu and Christian women of Kerala in the name of love, convert them and convince them to join war zones. The shocking incidents occurred between 2018-19, when a rising number of Kerala youths had come under the influence of a terrorist group.

 ‘The Kerala Story’ is centered around the alleged radicalization and conversion of young Hindu women to Islam in Kerala, after which they are forced to join ISIS. The film states that it’s a true story of three young girls from different parts of Kerala.

‘The Kerala Story’ begins in the interrogation room where Shalini (Adah Sharma) is revealing details of her horrific and tragic past and the reason why she is in a situation of crisis. Her backstory revolves around four college students who have enrolled in a Nursing School in Kasargauda, Kerala. The story is narrated from the perspective of Shalini, who shares a deep bond with her roommates Gitanjali (Siddhi Idnani), Nimah (Yogita Bihani), and Asifa (Sonia Balani). Unbeknownst to others, Asifa has a secret agenda to expose and convert her roommates to Islam. With the assistance of her male associates from outside, she ensures that the girls are radicalized and indoctrinated into the religion using hallucinogenic drugs. After Shalini becomes pregnant, she is compelled to marry someone other than the man who impregnated her, and then embarks on a long journey to Syria via Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Adah Sharma's portrayal of Shalini who eventually renamed Fatima, is powerful and emotionally stirring. Her hard work in getting the Malayali accent right, is evident on screen. While many of the actors, Yogita Bihani, Sonia Balani, and Siddhi Idnani are newcomers, they put their best foot forward to bring their stories to life. Director Sudipto Sen has opted for a subject that’s both sensitive and complex and the treatment that has been meted out to the film makes it a difficult watch with several disturbing scenes, moments and dialogues.

In the movie, the director has successfully created moments that evoke a natural uneasiness among viewers. While handling sensitive subject matters, it can be challenging to strike a balance, but Sudipto appears to handle it with ease. Prasantanu Mohaptra has done an excellent job of capturing the scenes in Afghanistan and the border regions of Afghanistan-Pakistan. However, the background score of the film falls short. It is overpowering and distracts from the narrative.

The hostel scenes featuring the girls are well executed, but there are also dull and uninteresting moments in the film, particularly when Asifa attempts to brainwash and radicalize Shalini. It is important to exercise caution during the extremely disturbing rape scene in the ISIS slave camp.

At certain points, the film feels more like a tutorial of radicalization than entertainment for the audience. It also goes to extremes to make its point, and that could be quite unsettling for audiences belonging to various communities in our country. After watching ‘The Kerala Story,’ you may be left with several questions about the current state of the country. This thought-provoking film is disturbing and surely manages to leave an impact.

Relationships- Friends

 More , There is a lot relation between Mullassery potta and karuveettil Varandharappilly, may be century old. Now I feel More Karuveettil families are in potta than in Varantharapilly.

Panku ,Chanran and Venu were together in Varantharapplly during vacation in school days.

After 10th , Venu went to Bombay, Chandran whole family shifted to Potta.

Since then, Panku and Chandran were together in college and P&T department.

In between lot of family relations grew between Mullassery and karuveettil and Arimpur families.

 We 3 again almost became part of potta at the fag end of life. One lost and other 2 waiting for their turn. 

It is difficult to prepare a tree or sketch,so the narration.. 

This is my morning dose,may be borring..🙏

How To Start Consultancy Business In India

 Consulting is a business that involves providing services to clients. It also involves helping others with their problems, and this can be done by offering advice or organizing events. Consulting businesses are usually run by people who want to become experts in their fields and share their knowledge with other people across the world by providing them with solutions rather than products or services themselves. You can start your own consultancy business after having done these things:

Choose A Name For Your Consultancy Business.

Choosing a name for your consultancy business is one of the most important things you can do to ensure success. Your name should be simple and easy to remember, pronounce and spell. It should also be appropriate for your industry or field of expertise.

You might want to consider using an acronym (a word made up of initials). This can make it easier for people who know you only by that name - such as clients or staff members - because they will understand what each letter stands for about themselves!

If you're thinking about trademarking your brand name, make sure that this isn't already taken by someone else before registering it with authorities like the Indian Patent Office or US Patent & Trademark Office (USPTO).

Set Up A Company Bank Account & Register Your Consultancy Business In India.

To start your own consultancy business, you will need a company bank account. The process of opening a company bank account is simple and can be done in no time.

To open a bank account, you must have:

1. A valid PAN card (Permanent Account Number) issued by the Indian government or any other entity authorized by it to act as an agent for filing tax returns on behalf of its residents;

2. Photo identification document (such as Aadhar card). This can be either an Aadhar card or a passport;

3. Address proof such as electricity bill, telephone bill, etc.;

4. Proof that you are a resident of India at least for 6 months before applying for opening this type of scheme;

Make A Business Plan For Consultancy Business In India.

A business plan is a document that describes your business and its goals. It helps you to focus on the most important aspects of your business, as well as make informed decisions about it.

A good way of getting funding from investors is to have a solid business plan in place before approaching them. The best way to create one is by using an online platform like WordPress.

Create A Website For Your Consultancy Business In India.

1. Creating a website for you to get funding from investors, is to have a solid business plan, focused on the most important aspects of your business. You will need a company bank account to start your consultancy business in India.

2. Get a domain name for your website.

3. Use templates to create a website that looks good, is easy to navigate, and has all the information you need on it.

4. Choose a hosting service like InMotion Hosting (a reliable hosting provider) or 123D Web Design (a good quality low-cost option).

5. Use social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter to promote your new venture!

Look For Jobs Or Clients For Your Consultancy Business In India.

You should look for jobs or clients for your consultancy business in India. Do not try to do everything yourself and use social media, networking, and creating a website to find jobs or clients. And while you’re at it, you can even simplify your billing process with Swipe- It is a free GST billing software, that helps you track your sales, purchases & estimates in real time. With Swipe, you can easily manage your inventory, file GST returns, and create & share professional invoices.

Conclusion

You will have to do some research about the market, and about the clients, you want to work with. Do some research about the kind of services you want to provide, as well as how much money you need for this venture which is not easy.

Life, the Truth, and Being Free ~ Steve Maraboli

 🌹 Dare to Be 🌹

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.

When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.

When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.

When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.

When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.

When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.

When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.

When times are tough, dare to be tougher.

When love hurts you, dare to love again.

When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.

When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.

When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.

When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.

When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.

Dare to be the best you can –

At all times, Dare to be!

~ Steve Maraboli , Life, the Truth, and Being Free

When the Body Says No ~ Gabor Mate (12 of 24)

 

1. The Bermuda Triangle

“When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.”

Psychoneuroimmunology, science of the interactions of mind and body, the indissoluble unity of emotions and physiology in human development and throughout life in health and illness. This disciple studies the ways that the psyche - the mind and its content of emotions - profoundly interacts with the body's nervous system and how both of them in turn,  form an essential link with our immune defences. Some call psychoneuroimmunoendocrinology to indicate that the endocrine, or hormonal apparatus is also a part of our system of whole-body response. These function down to the cellular level. 

Many of us live, if not alone, then in emotionally inadequate relationships that do not recognize or honour our deepest needs. Isolation and stress affect many who may believe their lives are quite satisfactory. 

Stress can transmute into illness. Stress is a complicated cascade of physical and biochemical responses to powerful emotional stimuli. Psychologically, emotions are themselves electrical, chemical and hormonal discharges of the human nervous system. Emotions influence and are influenced by the functioning of our major organs, the integrity of our immune defences and the workings of the many circulating biological substances that help govern the body's physical states. When emotions are repressed, this inhibition disarms the body's defence against illness. Repression - dissociating emotions from awareness and relegating them to the unconscious realm - disorganizes and confuses our physiological defences so that in some people these defences go awry becoming the destroyers of health rather than its protectors. 

There is no body that is not mind, no mind that is not body. The word 'mindbody' has been suggested to convey the real state of things. 

We are all self deniers and self-betrayers to one extent or another, most often in ways we are no mare aware of. 

Repression is a major cause of stress and a significant contributor to illness. While all of us dread being blamed, we all would wish to be more responsible - that is, to have the ability to respond with awareness to the circumstances of our lives rather than just reacting. We want to be the autoritatative person in our own lives; in charge, able to make the authentic decisions that affect us. There is no true responsibility without awareness. 

“Strong convictions do not necessarily signal a powerful sense of self: very often quite the opposite. Intensely held beliefs may be no more than a person’s unconscious effort to build a sense of self to fill what, underneath, is experienced as vacuum.”

“Strong convictions do not necessarily signal a powerful sense of self: very often quite the opposite. Intensely held beliefs may be no more than a person’s unconscious effort to build a sense of self to fill what, underneath, is experienced as vacuum.”

“Why can’t parents see their children’s pain?

“I’ve had to ask myself the same thing. It’s because we haven’t seen our own"

“Wit can be a coping style that blocks conscious emotional pain, camouflages anger and provides  a means of gaining acceptance by others.” 

19. The 7 A's of Healing:

Emotional competency is the capacity that enables us to stand in a responsible, non-victimized, non-self-harming relationship with our environment. It is the required internal ground for facing life's inevitable stresses, for avoiding the creation of unnecessary ones and for furthering the healing process Few of us reach adult age with anything close to full emotional competence. Recognizing our lack of it is not cause for self-judgement only a call for further development and transformation. 

1. Acceptance : Acceptance is simply the willingness to recognize and accept how things are. It is the courage to permit negative thinking to inform our understanding, without allowing it to define our approach to the future. Acceptance does not demand becoming resigned to the continuation of whatever circumstances may trouble us, but it does require a refusal to deny exactly how things happen to be now. It challenges the deeply held belief that we are not worthy enough or 'good' enough to be whole. Acceptance also implies a compassionate relationship with oneself. It means discarding the double standard that, as we have seen, too often characterizes our relationship with the world. Compassionate curiosity about the self does not mean liking everything we find out about ourselves, only that we look at ourselves with the same non-judgemental acceptance we would wish to accord anyone else who suffered and who needed help.
2. Awareness : Animals and young humans are highly competent at picking up on real emotional cues If we lose that capacity as we acquire language, it is only because we receive confusing messages from our immediate world. The world we hear tell us one thing, the emotional data say something different. If the two are in conflict, one will be repressed. We repress our emotional intelligence in order to avoid an ongoing war with the crucial people in our lives, a war we cannot possibly win. And so we lose our emotional competence even as we gain verbal intelligence. Awareness also means learning what the signs of stress are in our won bodies, how our bodies telegraph us when our minds have missed the cues. In both human and animal studies, it has been observed that the physiological stress response is a more accurate gauge of the organism's real experience than either conscious awareness or observed behaviour. We can learn to head symptoms not only as problems to be overcome but as messages to be heeded. 
3. Anger: Anger is the energy Mother Nature gives us as little kids to stand forward on our own behalf and say 'I matter.' Anger respect boundaries. Standing forward on your own behalf does not invade anyone else's boundaries. It does not require hostile acting out. It is a psysiological process to be experienced. Second, it has cognitive value - it provides essential information. It is a response to a perception, threat or the like. Experience the anger, contemplate what triggered it, depending on circumstances manifest it in some way or let go. Don't supress the experience. Display it in words or deeds, but do not act it out in a driven fashion as uncontrolled rage or supress it. Aggressive impulses are suppressed because of guilt and the guilt exists only because of the simultaneous existence of love, of positive feeling. It is incredibly anxiety provoking and guilt-producing for a person to experience aggressive feelings toward a loved one. Healthy anger is a relaxation and empowerment.  It helps anxiety disappear. Don't let it turn into range. Healthy anger help reduce muscle tension. 
4. Autonomy: Autonomy is the development of internal centre of control. In the self-definition we define what we value and want in life, the locus of control is from inside ourselves. Mind and spirit can survive grievous physical injury, but time and again we see that physical body begins to succumb when psychic integrity and freedom are jeopardized. People suffer when their boundaries are blurred. It is important to give freedom with restrictions. Most commonly in the lives of children, boundaries are not so much violated as simply not constructed in the first place. Many parent cannot help their child develop boundaries they themselves were never enabled to do so in their own formative years. We can only do what we know. Without a clear boundary, the child remains enmeshed in the relationship leading to withdrawal/sullen or self-defeating resistance to authority. Boundaries and autonomy are essential for health. We experience life through our bodes. If we are not able to articulate our life experience our bodies speak what our minds and mouth cannot. 
5. Attachment  : Attachment is our connection with the world. In the earliest attachment relationships, we gain or lose the ability to stay open, self-nurturing and healthy. We experienced anger, fear or repressed it. There we developed our sense of autonomy or suffered its atrophy. Connection is vital to healing. We sometimes find it easier to feel bitterness or rage than to allow ourselves to experience that aching desire for contact that when disappointed, originally engendered the anger. Behind all our anger lies a deeply frustrated need for a truly intimate contact. Healing both requires and implies regaining the vulnerability that made us shut down emotionally in the first place. We are no longer helplessly dependent children; we no longer need fear emotional vulnerability. Challenge the ingrained belief that unconsciously burdens - that we are not lovable. Seeking connection is a necessity for healing. 
6. Assertion :It is the declaration to ourselves and to the world that we are and that we are who we are. Assertion in the sense of self-declaration is deeper than the limited autonomy of action. It is the statement of our being, a positive valuations of ourselves independent of our history, personality, abilities or the world's perceptions of us. Assertion challenges the core belief that we must somehow justify our existence. It demands neither acting nor reacting. It is being, irrespective of action. It is letting go of the very need to act. 
7. Affirmation : When we affirm, we make a positive statement, we move toward something of value. There are two basic values that can assist us to heal and to remain whole, if we honor them. The first value is our own creative self. Everyone has an urge to create, we need to honour the urge. To do so is healing for ourselves and for others; not to do so deadens our bodies and our spirits. 'What is in us must out'. The great art is to express our vitality through the particular channels and at the particular speed Nature foresaw for us.' The second great affirmation if of the universe itself - our connection with all that is. We are dust enlivened. We are part of the universe with temporary consciousness, but never apart from it. The word seeking is frequently employed in relation to spiritual world. We are seekers. Each seeks his or her own way to the light within and without. 

Health rests on three pillars: The body, the psyche and the spiritual connection. To ignore any one of them is to invite imbalance and dis-ease. 

Cancer group meetings offers 1) Education 2) Stress Managment Technique 3) Enhancement of coping skills 4) Psychological support 

Nasruddin, fool and sage, exists in all of us. - He found under the streetlight 'nothing'. 

Reality Check vs. Hope

Where you following Russia Ukraine daily? How long did that last? How about Manipur? And now gaza Israel.  I feel depressed after reading just 1 or 2 news about it.

You have seen that post right... two different world projection. Like one child holding pen and another one gun. One child in the lap of his mother another one besides his dead parent.

The world is not bad there is hope...kehne ke liye achi batein hain

But we are on the other side of the world

Where we can hope because we are safe and have food and everything

Our only problem is obesity, pressure,  sugar and cholesterol and promotion

Is that the real problem?

Our job is so safe. May not be as job security... safe... as in harmless hazard free.

On that gaza war one Sr. journalist lost his full family in the war.

Terrorist killed so many innocent families. I read one or 2 stories and it was haunting me for couple of days

When you read these...you get  a reality check! 😢

That photographer who took the picture of the vulture and the child also took his life right..

It's said he took his own life.

Bhoothakaalam

Bhoothakaalam (transl. Past) is a 2022 Indian Malayalam-language supernatural horror film written and directed by Rahul Sadasivan, starring Shane Nigam and Revathy. The film is produced by Anwar Rasheed. Asha lives with her son Vinu taking care of her ill mother, who later dies. Asha is a school teacher and manages her home's finances single-handedly. Vinu has completed his B.Pharm. and has been searching for a job for almost two years, but in vain. Unable to resist the struggle of unemployment, Vinu resumes his smoking and drinking habits. Asha is mentally and physically drained in trying to make Vinu find a job.

Vinu begins to get a feeling that there is someone else staying in his house. Initially, he assumes that it was his mother who was trying to show her anger at him, but is later convinced that there is actually somebody else. Just like his friends and relatives, Vinu's mother also thinks that something is wrong with him and takes him to a counselor. Vinu, however, does not cooperate with the counselor. While Asha begins to realise that Vinu's feelings about someone else being present in the house is true, the counselor learns about the past history of the house in which the mother and son are living. In the same house, several years ago, two people hung themselves unable to tolerate the feelings of the presence of another person. He also finds that both of them were suffering emotional setbacks due to different reasons back in their time.

Later, both Asha and Vinu get trapped in the house amidst horrific happenings. They are ultimately unsure as to the exact nature of what happened in the house, but decide to reconcile and vacate the house.

Emotionally Intelligent - Statements

 

5 statements, that Emotionally Intelligent people will say:

• I am feeling overwhelmed right now, can we take a break and revisit this later
• I see how much this means to you, lets find a solution that works for both of us. 
• I hear you and want to understand you, tell me more. 
• Thank you for sharing this with me, what can I do to make it right?
• I forgive myself for not being perfect, I am learning and growing every single day

Be humble because you are made out of mother earth and be noble because you are made of the stars. - How profound is that. 

From ignoring everyone, to be available to just be that one person, to being available  to everyone else, to just forget that one - we learned a lot. 

Whatever we are, whatever we make of ourselves, is all that we will ever have, and that in it's profound simplicity is the only meaning of life. 

ABC of Emotional Intelligence

Guilt is about behaviour - It's a call for corrective and good measure. It is mostly corrective. 

Shame is about identity - It's about who we believe we are, not what we did. It says I am wrong. It is destructive. 

Understanding the difference is the first step to navigate it. 

Anger When you get angry remember: Managing it is important. 

1. Pause and breath before reacting. Give space for thoughtful reaction. 
2. Express and not supress - communicate assertively. Find healthy way to express. Articulating can help from recurring. 
3. Reflect on your triggers - understand the root cause.  - It help . Is it a specific situation or unresolved issue. 

Anger is a natural emotion, how you response is important. 

Sadness, loneliness or feeling low: Understanding it as freeze response is important. 

1. It's a natural mechanism to freeze. It is hardwired as a survival strategy in our biology. 
2. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a primal reaction designed to protect us. 
3. Mind body connection matters. Reconnect with body with mindful practice. 

Not enough/Perfection : Have ever felt crushing with it? More we chase Vulnerability often seen as weakness helps dismantle shame script.. 

Self compassion is the compass. Give yourself kindness you give to others. 

Stories external can be rewritten. Embrace imperfection. 

Breaking shame is conscious choice. Always learn to tell yourself,

' I am more than the standards I set for myself?. Imperfection is beautiful and not something to hide. 

What narration do your carry and which are you willing to rewrite? Your authenticity is your superpower, embrace it, because the world needs it. '

There is a spicy connection between what you heat and how you feel. Your gut called the second brain, talks to your first brain. It's important to understand the emotional fire work. 

Jealousy: Perceived threat, real or imaginary. Powerful signal for untapped potential. It can cloud your happiness. It is a mock tale of fear of loss, illusion of someone else's success diminishing our growth. 

1. Practise gratitude - shift focus from others to you
2. Cultivate self compassion - acknowledge the emotion without judgement. 
3. Channel that energy into growth. 

Super-power : Mentally strong people have super power - Self discipline. Reserve energy to those who treat with respect. Stay mentally strong, set those boundaries and keep thriving. Don't let people take your kindness for granted. 

Level 10 goals, is about infusing clarity in your journey. It's a compass for your soul. They guide you to a holistic living. They provide a new found wholesomeness to your life. 

A very powerful concept of EI. Let us compare our brain with our hand, palms is like the limbic system responsible for all you do your emotional responses , the thumb when placed it in, nail is like  amygdala, responsible for  and risk analyser. Top four fingers are  prefrontal cortex responsible for all you do with wisdom, cognition and decision making capability. When your amygdala is triggered, your lid is off you go into a Fight, Flight , Freeze mode. Make sure the prefrontal cortex is engaged. Respond not just emotionally but logically to. 

In any moment your are one decision away from discovering hope, embracing forgiveness, or choosing an abundance mindset. - each is a transformative step towards changing your  life. Not making decision is also choice. To stay in the same space and mindset. 

ABC of EI:

Awareness 

Balance 

Control 

 Are you ready to take your Emotional Intelligence to the next level? Are you tired of feeling like your emotions are controlling you, instead of the other way around? Do you want to develop the skills to communicate more effectively with others and build stronger relationships?

Learn and Practice:

✅ Self-awareness (understanding your own emotions and how they impact your thoughts and actions)

✅ Self-regulation (learning how to manage and control your emotions in a healthy and productive way)

✅ Empathy (developing the ability to understand and relate to the emotions of others)

✅ Communication (learning how to effectively express yourself and connect with others)

Stories ~ Detachment

 And in their narrative, they will either be the hero or the victim - never the villain.

Well every story has three versions,  your version, my version and the truth.

Galentine's Day

Galentine's Day is a global holiday that celebrates women's friendship. Galentine's Day is typically marked as February 13, but can be observed any day. Galentine's Day events are typically all-female occasions of mutual "empowerment...a reminder for women to support and uplift one another." Galentine’s Day celebrates platonic friendships, usually among women. 

On February 11, 2010, the TV sitcom Parks and Recreation released an episode called “Galentine’s Day” (Season 2, Episode 16). In this episode, the effervescent and earnest lead character Leslie Knope explained the made-up holiday Galentine’s Day: “Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas.” The word galentine itself blends gal and valentine. Since the episode, Galentine’s Day has expanded into the broader popular culture. Some actual Galentine’s Day celebrations involve getting together with friends to exchange small gifts and eat brunch, especially waffles, a favorite of Knope’s character on Parks and Recreation.

One more reason for celebration! Women's day, Mother's day and here comes the Galentine's day!

The Big Mirror ~ Sreejith Krishnan

Once a dog ran into a museum where all the walls, the ceiling, the door, and even the floor were made of mirrors. Seeing this the dog froze in surprise in the middle of the hall, a whole pack of dogs surrounded it from all sides, from above and below. He could see a whole pack of dogs surrounding him from all sides, from top to bottom.

Frightened, the dog frantically barked. The reflections imitated the bark and increased it many times. The dog barked even harder and the echo was keeping up. The dog tossed from one side to another, biting the air – his reflections also tossed around snapping their teeth.

The next day in the morning, the museum security guards found the miserable dog, lifeless and surrounded by a million reflections of lifeless dogs. There was nobody, who did any harm to the dog. The dog died by fighting with his reflections.

The World is a big mirror. Everything that is happening around us is the reflection of our thoughts, feelings, wishes, and actions.

Without self-awareness, we risk reacting blindly to the reflections of our own emotions and behaviors.

Our external experiences are often a reflection of our internal state. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are.

Change your inner world to change your outer world!

Be the river, be free ~ Joseph Nguyen

 

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The Inner Peace Coin is a metal coin with a beautiful design of a lotus with an inscription that says, "The moment we stop thinking is when our peace begins." On the back, it says, "Thinking is the root cause of suffering." 

Click on the above link to buy it. 

When we lack clarity or purpose in our lives, it is usually not because we are not trying hard enough but because we have filled our lives with too many things that aren’t aligned with us, preventing us from seeing what truly matters.

Only when we give ourselves permission to do nothing (creating space) does everything become clear.

We frequently clean our physical spaces and homes to ensure they don’t get too cluttered and messy, but how often do we clean or clear the emotional, mental, and spiritual spaces within us?

If we never clean our homes, it would be nearly impossible to navigate. If we never clean our hearts and minds, how can we expect to navigate through life?

Inputs create outputs.

What we hold in our minds creates the world we see outside.

What can you let go of that would create the change you seek in life?

An empty mind is a life full of peace.

This does not mean we no longer use our minds but to not become attached to what enters it.

If the river became attached to the water and stopped flowing, it would become stagnant and unable to support life within it.

Our minds are designed to be like a river. It is designed to be the space through which life can flow freely without the obstructions of our own thinking, judgments, and attachments. When we attach ourselves too much to our thoughts, we suffer, like when the river holds onto the water.

You are the vessel, not what is inside of it. You are the river, not the water within it.

You are the one who is aware of your thoughts, not the thoughts themselves.

The less you believe in your thoughts, the happier you will be.

Be the river. Be free.

Talent is not enough

 

Talent is not enough. 

You need discipline. 

You need dedication. 

You need character. 

More men have failed, not for lack of talent but for lack of character.

On Love ~ Kahlil Gibran

 Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.

     And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

     When love beckons to you, follow him,

     Though his ways are hard and steep.

     And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

     Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

     And when he speaks to you believe in him,

     Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

     For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

     Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

     So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

     Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself

     He threshes you to make your naked.

     He sifts you to free you from your husks.

     He grinds you to whiteness.

     He kneads you until you are pliant;

     And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

     All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

     But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,

     Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,

     Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

     Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

     Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

     For love is sufficient unto love.

     When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”

     And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

     Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

     But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

     To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

     To know the pain of too much tenderness.

     To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

     And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

     To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

     To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

     To return home at eventide with gratitude;

     And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923). This poem is in the public domain.

Self Love

 Respect - Say what you love and love what you say. You are in harmony - what you think, what you feel , what you say and what you do. More authentic you are.

Higher self esteem. The more you believe in your life and self. Life begin to happen for you and not to you. That is a beautiful place to operate from. 

Self esteem - Meaning and purpose. 

Have Emotional Control - 

Trust between conscious mind and subconscious mind improve. 

Discipline. 

More discipline, more freedom. 

Routine, Rituals - you feel you are queen of the world. 

Then you come to the miracle zone. 

Why you do what you do? When you know why - it is easy to stick to do what you want to do - it could be your diet or any emotion. Write letter to self from your emotion. 

Do not operate from the energy from wanting to prove, but go on a healing journey. 

Sweetest revenge if you become so successful, that all what others said become irrelevant. 

Having a realistic opinion about self is good. Be humble with outside, but don't criticise yourself to yourself. 

Own your awesomeness - Fall in love with yourself  - You are worth it. 

Visualise and release, and don't get attached to it. Hack the programme - 

We did not get what we want, but what we have now is much better than what we want. 

You continue to be right, the garden will bloom suddenly. 

Keep refilling your cup. Keep the remote control of your life with you and use it wisely. 

Love Never Fails

 When you meet your needs, you will love yourself more. People who have a high level of self-love take care of others.  Taking good care of oneself is important to take care of others. 

Love+Care=Mom

Love+Care = Mental Health + control

When someone is controlled a lot, their mental health comes down. 

When someone say you don't love or care, say, I do not exercise control, does not mean I don't love. 

Love is a feeling so divine, it gives you wings, you are your best version. You tend to do good for all. 

Because you are feeling loved, you share it. That is the mental state. 

Hormone Oxytocin - Butterfly and wings. 

You bloom in your personal and professional life. 

You are stress free, relaxed.

If there is gaslighting, if you have to keep explaining , keep validating again and again, you will feel suffocated. 

It is not love. 

Don't give that control to someone else. 

Practise self love - when you are full, you can give more. 

Happy Home - spread Happiness. Environment effect baby. 

There is someone for everyone.

There is someone for you some one for everyone

Why short leaved loves and divorces so much now?

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Grief, love, attachment, relationship are all related.

May you find your Love always. 

Bounce back, Love is roots, It's unconditional. But don't be an overgiver. Fill your cup first. 

Step-By-Step Guide for POSH investigation

 The IC, by law, can only look into complaints wherein the aggrieved person is a female. However, the scope of this Act has also expanded over time. Now a transwoman can also file a complaint of sexual harassment at workplace. This was the result of the recognition of transgender as the third gender through the Transgender Persons (Protection of Rights) Act, 2019. Although the POSH Act protects only women, there has been an increasing trend of organizations formulating gender neutral POSH policies which means that people of any gender could file a complaint of sexual harassment with their respective organization. 

Here is a step-by-step guide which will help the Internal Complaints Committee ensure that they handle the POSH complaints in a systematic and timely manner- 

Step 1: Jurisdiction Check- 

Once an IC receives a written complaint, the first thing that it should do is to check for jurisdiction. Following points should be covered while ascertaining if the IC has the authority to deal with the complaint- 

• Check if the identity of the complainant as well as the respondent is mentioned in the complaint. 
• Check if the allegations fall within the definition of ‘sexual harassment’ as per the POSH Act. 
• Check if the complaint was filed within a period of 3 months from the last date of the incident. IC has the discretionary power to give a further extension of 3 months. 
• Check if the Respondent is an employee of your organization. 
• Check if the alleged incident took place at the workplace. To understand what constitutes a workplace, click here. 

Step 2: Introductory Call with the Complainant- 

Once the IC has determined its jurisdiction, the next step is to have an introductory call with the complainant. The objective of this call is to understand the allegations better, to explain the procedure laid out under the law and the redressal options available. 

Step 3: Introductory Call with the Respondent- 

The next step is to have an introductory call with the respondent. The objective of this call is to apprise the respondent of the complaint, inform them about the procedure and their rights. 

Step 4: Forward the complaint copy to the Respondent- 

Once the IC speaks to the respondent, it should forward a copy of the complaint to them. The objective is to ensure that the IC acts in a fair and an unbiased manner and give the respondent an opportunity to present their side of the story. This has not only been mentioned in the POSH Act but has also been reiterated by the courts. Further, the IC should ensure that this is done within a period of 7 working days from the date of filing of complaint. 

Once the respondent receives the complaint copy, they get a 10 working days period to file their written response.  

We need not and probably should not, better to keep confidential the identity of the complainant. 

Step 5: Follow up with the Complainant on her choice of redressal option- 

The complainant has the right to either opt of conciliation or inquiry. Conciliation is a form of settlement which can be requested in writing only by the complainant and before the inquiry has been initiated. If the complainant opts for conciliation, the same needs to be conveyed to the respondent who then gets the right to accept, deny or negotiate the conciliation terms. 

Step 6: Examination of Complainant, Respondent and Witnesses- 

If the complainant opts for inquiry, then the next step is to individually meet both the parties and the witnesses, if any, to have a detailed conversation regarding the complaint and ask questions which will help the IC ascertain if the allegations can be substantiated or not. Questions should be open-ended; they cannot be leading or personal in nature.  

Step 7: Cross Examination- 

Once individual statements of the parties are recorded, the next step is to let the parties cross-question each other. At this stage, the complainant and respondent will come face to face and ask questions, including pointed questions. Here the IC’s role is to supervise the conversation and disallow any personal or derogatory questions. The parties can also cross-examine the witnesses of their choice. 

In exceptional circumstances, written cross-examination can be allowed. Click here to know more. 

Step 8: Calling- 

This is the final and an optional stage wherein the IC can call any of the parties or witnesses if it requires any further clarification before concluding. Here, leading questions can be asked. 

All the above-mentioned steps needs to completed within 90 days. 

Step 9: Inquiry Report- 

Now the IC needs to prepare an inquiry report with a set of recommendations if the allegations are substantiated or if it’s a false or malicious complaint. The report needs to be generated and forwarded to the employer within 10 days. Once this is done, the employer gets 60 days to execute the recommendations. 

These are the broad steps which the Internal Complaints Committee or the IC needs to follow while dealing with a sexual harassment complaint. 

Make Epic Money ~ Ankur Warikoo (11 of 24)

Indeed the book tells us more on 'Why should I even care about money? Now, I really want to earn some money, so that I can spend it wisely, but people tell me I should save and use the money to protect me, but what I really want is to grow my money and manage my money well, I know I'll make mistakes, as long as I know this, Oh! one last thing...

An easy to read, Simple book, with no technical jargons, tells us how to earn, spend and make money work for us, just as hard as we work for it. The book talks about a lot of practical aspects of money which many of us struggle with in our daily lives.

Most of us have home loans, car loans, investments which we have heard from our colleagues, friends and family and have often jumped into the bandwagon without complete knowledge about them only to regret later.

The book not only includes simple aspects of saving money, investing, common mistakes we make in our daily lives but also gives recommendations as to how we can plan our finances better . The book is a must read for all the people who have just started their corporate journey or those who are clueless as to how they should start planning their finances.

Ankur talks about the challenges he and his family faced and the letters he wrote to himself. The details on the 13 biases which we influences our decision making are intriguing.

The information on money allocation for our needs, wants, and investment is very well explained for different income and age categories. 

>No one owes you their time and money. You earn it, every day, by the work you do.

>As you grow professionally, it is not what you know but how you deal with people that determines your success.

>Hope is not a strategy.

>Calm people have the most fire, because they use their courage to do bold things. Instead of using up that fire to speak.

>Movement brings momentum. Stagnation amplifies sadness.

>Better to be lost for something worthwhile. Instead of getting lost in everything worthless.

>Attitude compensates for skills. Skills never compensate for attitude.

>A great leader should be replaceable when it comes to their tasks and actions. And irreplaceable when it comes to their thoughts and vision.

>Take loans only for things that appreciate in value like education.

>When we disguise our desires as our needs, we almost always end up making a mistake.

>Every problem in this world can be traced back to a point of miscommunication.

>Everyone knows something you don’t. Knowing that you don’t know much, is the best knowledge.

>By not appreciating someone for their vulnerability and truth, all we do is encourage lying.

>If your only input in every argument is silence, peace follows naturally.

>Nothing matters more in life than showing up every day.

The book is fat but each page has few number of lines with large font size 

 

Bronte Sister's

 

Writers lives tend to be as fascinating to us as their fictions, even when there is relatively little biographical information available. In fact, the less we know the more fascinated we become. 

The Brontes' were the world's most famous literary family and Haworth Parsonage, now the Bronte Parsonage Museum, was their home from 1820 to 1861. Born at Thornton, near Bradford they moved to the township of Haworth when Charlotte the eldest was 5 years.  It can rent-free with Patrick's new position as the perpetual curate of the church. He was a published author of poetry and fiction and his children grew up accustomed to the sight of books carrying their name on the Parsonage shelves. To find two writers of genius in one family would be rare, but to find several writers in one household is unique in the history of literature. 

Charlotte was born on 21 April 1816, Emily on 30 July 1818 and Anne on 17 January 1820 all in Thornton, Yorkshire. They had two sisters, both of whom died in childhood and a brother, Branwell. On 15 September 1821, Mrs Bronte died of cancer, and her unmarried sister, Elizabeth Branwell came to take charge of the running of the Parsonage, exchanging her comfortable home in Penzance for the harsh climate of a bleak northern township. In 1824 the four eldest daughters made their first venture into the world outside Haworth, to attend the Clergy Daughters' school at cowan Bridge, near Kirkby Lonsdale.   Tuberculosis, which afflicted Maria and Elizabeth in 1825, also caused the eventual deaths. For the next few years the surviving children remained at home together, creating a rich imaginary world, sparked by their father's gift to Branwell of a set of toy soldiers. Because of the important role education had played in his own life, Patrick encouraged his children in their pursuit f knowledge. Any books that came thier way were eagerly devoured, and the children produced their own tiny illustrated books, designed to be small enough for the toy soldiers, with minuscule handwriting to deter the prying eyes of the Parsonage adults.   Of three of the surviving Brontës: Branwell in September 1848, Emily in December 1848, and, finally, Anne in May 1849 died. Their father's lack of a private income meant that the sisters needed to acquire the accomplishments that would enable them to earn a living as governesses - the only career option socially acceptable for general young ladies with a fortune.  In an attempt to escape the hated life of a governess, the sisters planned to set up a school of their own at the Parsonage. Of the three sister Anne was as great an author and yet seems forgotten. When we hear Brontë sisters, we think of Charlotte Brontë and Emily Brontë, however their sister Anne is said to be the most beautiful of all three. 

Charlotte turned to her writing to sustain her through the dark days ahead. She fled Haworth to stay with George Smith and his mother in London. Her fame had provided her with a means of entering London's literary society, but by this time, Charlotte found that her sense of loss and the seclusion of her life at Haworth had left her unfitted to enjoy such society. She then kept travelling, and undertook the melancholy task of sorting through her dead sister's papers to provide a selection of their poetry and also wrote an emotional biographical notice of the two authors. She rejected marriage proposal from her fathers curate, the reverend Arthur Bell Nicholls and Patrick was incensed by the mere thought of the poor Irish Curate pursuing his famous daughter. What Charlotte saw as her father's unjust treatment worked in Nicholls favour and the couple eventually married in Haworth Church on 29 June 1854. Though Charlotte had entered the married state with misgivings, she found unexpected happiness with Arthur. The happiness did not last. She died on the morning of 31 March 1855, in the early stages of pregnancy, just three weeks before her 39th birthday There were no direct descendants of the Brontes of Haworth. Patrick Bronte lived on at the Parsonage for a further six years, cared for by his son-in-law and died there on 7 June 1861 at the age of eighty-four. 

The Bronte's novels, published under the pseudonyms of Currer, Ellis and Action Bell were acknowledged at the time for their directness and powerful emotional energy, qualities which were sometimes interpreted by the critics as 'coarse' and 'brutal'. Charlotte's novel Jane Eyre (1847), Emily's Wuthering Heights (1847) and Anne's The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1848) among others were written in this house. 

More of these books in separate post but here are the book covers:

Certainly, the Bronte's have exerted an extraordinarily powerful hold over our collective imagination for more than 150 years now. Generations of readers, writers and artists have been absorbed and inspired by them and they have permeated the cultural landscape, at every level. 

The Bronte's cultural pervasiveness is largely explained by the power of the stories they created, but the story of the Brontes' own lives has been and continues to be equally compelling. It is easy to understand why with so many irresistible components: the wild moorland landscape surrounding Haworth; the spectre of early family bereavement; the intense imaginative worlds of childhood; the remarkable literary achievement of three sisters all writing great English novels under one roof; the precociously talented but fatally flawed brother; and of course the 'tragic' early deaths.

It was Charlotte Bronte's friend the novelist Mrs Gaskell, who wrote the first Bronte biography in 1857, within two years of Charlotte's death. With such great interest in the Brontes, Haworth has become a destination for literary pilgrimage and the physical remains of the Brontes' lives is revered and sought after as relics. The Brontes father Patrick, having outlived his wife and all six of his children, lived long enough to witness this, being generous enough to receive curious visitors when the mood took him and cutting some of Charlotte's letters into snippets to satisfy request for samples of her handwriting. 

Like most authors, the Brontes drew upon their imaginations, on their personal experiences and the landscape and characters around them, but their mature poems and novels are also rooted in the themes of the early writings of their childhood and adolescence. The Parsonage was amongst the largest houses in Haworth, though it would have been considered small in comparison to the houses elsewhere. They were poor in comparison to landowners or wealthy aristocrats of those times. Despite its lofty hill-top settings and the openness of the surrounding moorland, Haworth township was an overcrowded and unhealthy place in which to live in the Brontes day. It was because of the cramped conditions in which the inhabitants lived and worked, the lack of privies and the fact that the only sewerage system consisted of open channels running down the Main street. 

 

Thanks to The Bronte Society was established in early 1893. In 1857, two years after Charlotte's death, Elizabeth Gaskell's moving tribute to her friend, The Life of Charlotte Bronte also appeared. This biography, along with Charlotte's Biographical Notice of her sisters, have become key sources for interpretations of the family, and have ensured that the story of the Bronte's lives continues to exert as much fascination as their fiction. 

Visiting the home in which these three remarkable women spent most of their lives provides fascinating insight into the freedoms and restrictions of the time in which they lived and thus a deeper understanding of their novels.