Ever since the East have started adapting to the west, what happened yesterday in west, is happening here today!
My grandparents lived in a closed society, where marriages were within a community, or locality. There was no much competition. It was more of a Joint family concept, and there was love within family, where family was not just father, mother and children but included their siblings and their family too.
My parents’ generation started moving out and the society was becoming open, there was a move towards nuclear family.
Both my parents and grandparents generation, often stayed married to people they shouldn’t have married in the first place, and were miserable for years, sometimes an entire lifetime. They didn’t want to get divorced, and staying married for 50 years to someone they didn’t love became some kind of honorable goal.
And in reaction to that, my generation, I think, have become global. They move international, get divorced too easily and sometimes too often. If they were unhappy, they bailed.
And subsequent generations will look around them, see all the wreckage, remember the bad stories we told about divorce, alimony, custody battles, and they are the generation that would suffere for our mistakes, and many don’t want to get married at all.
I liked the recent ad. of a parent taking their child to doctor, because he would not study.
Doctor, as part of check up: asked if he knew of any war?
Child: My parents, have told me not to discuss what happens at home with outsiders!
Children, are each different distinct people from one other and from their parents. Having had to live with various kind, I think one of the greatest challenges as a parent is adjusting to who they are as people, and not expecting them to be just like you, or do what you want them to.
Again I am reminded of another Joke:
Father: At your age Abraham Lincolon did not have a decent place to study.
Child: At your age, He was the President of America!
Dont underestimate a child, even if he does not study!
Their visions are different, their dreams, their needs. They may never be anything like you, or they may turn out to be more like you one day than you think, or would even believe when they’re young. It is really, really hard to just let them be, and not nag them about what you want. Sometimes you see them heading straight for a wall and want to stop them, but you can’t always. They have to find their own way, and be who they are. One of my biggest lessons has been learning to respect that and back off.
It’s a lesson I’m still learning and working on.
But I will still love them forever, no matter how old they are, committed to helping them, worried for them, and concerned about the dangers, disappointments and risks they may face.
They may not understand that, I know...But that is how I am.
I like to have the growing up, in the phase of transition with me! They teach me many things and keep me going...Some come back to me, some dont! But that does not matter! I remember them, though may not be in touch with them often!
Monday, March 14, 2011
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