Children's' lives are different from place to place. They may live in city apartments/bunglows/huts, in jungle villages, or on lonely farms. They may travel by car, camel or canoe. They speak different languages and play different games.
Wherever they are, children learn, work and play in the local ways and share in local customs. But the lessons they are taught and the games they play have a common purpose around the world;
Preparing them to be tomorrow's'grown-ups.
We should view them as they really are, as end points in evolution that lead us forward. But in order to learn to evolve they need our energy on a constant basis, unconditionally. The worst thing that can be done to children is to drain their energy while correcting them. This is what creates control drama in them. But these learned manipulations on the child’s part can be avoided if the adults give them all the energy they need no matter what the situation. That is why they should always be included in conversations, especially about them and you should never take responsibility for more children than you can give attention to.
Number of children one has is important because any one adult can only focus on and give attention to one child at a time. If there are too many children for the number of adults, then the adults become overwhelmed and unable to give enough energy. The children begin to compete with each other for the adults time. All the energy does not have to come from the parents alone. This could be from someone who takes care of them.
We should tell children the truth of every situation in language that they can understand. Treat their questions seriously, avoiding the temptation of giving fanciful answers, which is plainly for entertainment. We should always find a way to tell children the truth.
Happen to read 'The Prophet' again after quite some time; a book of 26 prose poetry essays written in English by the Lebanese artist, philosopher and writer Kahlil Gibran; was the motivation to write this, which in turn was Neil. The chapter on children in the book say:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer see the mark upon the path of infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrow may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness,
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.
And then I read this:
http://www.create-your-life.com/Parenting.html
Parenting Mystery:
As a parent, isn’t it my responsibility to teach my child honesty and respect?
NO.
We cannot learn for them, suffer for them, live for them, protect them from themselves or claim responsibility for their mistakes. We can offer guidance by being true to our soul, allow and inspire them to explore and be true to theirs. When we are responsible for ourselves, owning everything we think, say and do, we are doing our best to help our children train their bodies to perform as they intend it, and inspire them to express their love, through their gifts, in ways that best suit them. Love is the most important gift a parent can give their child.
The second most important quality for you to inspire in your child is to claim responsibility for themselves and every choice they make. IF YOU take responsibility away from your child in your attempt to SAVE them (from hurt, embarrassment, failure, or whatever reason you make up), you rob them of the opportunity to learn responsibility naturally, gracefully. Help them to see the simple choices available to them. Allow them to be responsible for their choices with nurturing support, not expectation or guilt. If they react with disappointment or hurt by the outcome of their choices, embrace them with love and respect by helping them see what choices they can make now to manifest their intention. The third most important quality you can inspire in your child is compassion: Feeling empathy for another and expressing love to help them through the difficulty they are facing.
Contact Create Your Life
To learn how you can inspire the qualities you want to nurture in your children, call the Life Strategies Coaches at Create Your Life! today at 480-788-6222. You can also reach Create Your Life! with any questions that you may have about parenting and inspiring the qualities you want to nurture in your children through the Contact Us page.
No comments:
Post a Comment