And here we get the news of the mysterious death of the beauty diva of yesteryear. Who is to be blamed? How can we mourn?
Well for me personally; having been a great fan of her can relate each phase of my life to her movies or events from her life. So personally I decide to say goodbye to movies.
RGV’s msg-
MY REALLY PERSONAL NOTE ON SRIDEVI
YES she was the most desirable woman and the biggest super star of the country and ruled as a main heroine in the entire country for more than 20 years..But that’s just a part of the story
However shocked and sad I feel about Sridevi's death, it’s finally once again a rude reminder for all of us about how unpredictable, cruel,fragile and mysterious both life and death are
After her death ,there is definitely much more for me to say than what most people are saying now about how beautiful she was, what a great actress she was, how her death affected them, " RIP"s "Om shanthi" s. etc etc etc
Sridevi's life is a classic case of how each persons actual life is completely different from how the rest of the outside world perceives it.
For many, Sridevi's life was perfect . Beautiful face, great talent, seemingly stable family with two beautiful daughters--
From outside everything looked so enviable and desirable... But was Sridevi a very happy person and did she lead a very happy life?
I know her life from the time I met her first for my film kshanakshanam . I saw with my own eyes how her life was like a bird in the sky till her father’s death and then became like a bird in a cage due to her overprotective mother
In those days actors used to be only paid in mostly black money and due to fear of tax raids her father used to trust friends and relatives who all betrayed her the moment the father died
Coupled with this the ignorant mother made many wrong investments in litigated properties and all those mistakes combined made her penny less by the time Boney came into her life
Boney himself was in huge debts and all he could afford to give her was a fat shoulder to cry on
After her mother became a psychotic patient because of a wrong surgery on her brain in USA,though Boney sued the hospital they dint get any huge amounts of money in settlement because of some agreement mistakes he did with the lawyers there
Once the mother died her younger sister Shri Latha eloped and got married to their neighbours son ..The mother before dying put all properties in sridevis name but her sister put a case on her demanding half the property claiming that her mother was insane and not in her senses when she signed the will due to the brain surgery
So in effect the woman desired by millions in the world was all alone in the world except for one Boney
Boney ‘s mother portrayed her as a home breaker and publically punched her in the stomach in a five star hotel lobby in revenge for what she presumed about what she did to Boney’s first wife Mona
Except for the short glimmer of English vinglish Sridevi has been pretty much a very unhappy woman
Boney’s debts ,the uncertainty of the future,the ugly turns and twists in her private life left deep scars in the super stars sensitive mind and there after she was never at peace. She went through so much in her life and due to her early career entry,life never gave her time to grow up at a normal pace.
More than the external peace, her internal mental state was of a high degree of concern and this caused her to look at her own self . She was the most beautiful woman for so many people. But did she think she was beautiful ?
Yes but every actresses nightmare is age and she was no exception
For years she was doing cosmetic surgeries the effects of which can be clearly seen In her interviews and public appearances,
She always came across as very shy,insecure and low on confidence .
Some one who is very uptight, who built a psychological wall around her as she was scared of anybody to really see what's going on within her. She was panicky about anybody knowing what her psychological insecurities were.
Not because of her fault, but because she was thrust with fame from a very young age that never gave her a chance to be independant and be what she could really be and really wanted to be
She had to put on the make up and be somebody else not just infront of the camera,but also behind the camera.
Though I as an audience thoroughly enjoyed her on the screen , I now after knowing her as a person wish that she was allowed to be a star even in her normal life instead of being constantly directed by her parents,her relatives, her husband and to an extent even her own daughters .. She was scared whether her daughters would be accepted or whether they will go the Hema Malini’s daughter Esha Deol way
I could see in her eyes the pain she was going through deep inside her and that’s because she is actually a child trapped in a woman’s body ..she is naive as a person, but suspicious because of her bitter experiences which is not a very good combination . She used to convey to me so much through her silence than most would in their best conversations
Coming to her death ,it is most likely a combination of heart stroke induced accidental drowning death in the tub . But medications might have played a huge role.
Many suicides and accidental deaths happen after big parties or weddings. That's because people with depression and insecurities can't understand why the whole world is so happy and enjoying, but they are not able to feel the happiness inspite of all the glitter and spotlight. That reminds them that they are deeply sad and that there is nothing wrong with the world and the fault is with just them that they are not able to feel anything.
Some people who are very deeply depressed commit suicide. Others, just to control their depression and anxiety, take extra pills not knowing that it can be dangerous in certain doses and conditions
Keeping the speculations on her death aside and coming back to the point of her life,I generally don't say " Rest In Peace" after people die, but in her case I want to really say it because I very strongly believe that she would finally and really rest in peace now for the first time in her life ,
Or shall we say death?
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Henceforth no more Moonlit nights! Chandni gone forever. Alas!
We’ll never forget those Lamhe
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