Sunday, February 05, 2017

Death



Young or Old,
Healthy or unhealthy,
Rich or poor,
Men or Women,
Liked or unliked,
Whatever or wherever you are,
One thing is for sure,
We gonna die.

Life is but a fleeting show,
All tall, as a ball,
Why this ego, why the fight,
We are one, belonging
To the human race.

The Girl on The Train



Here comes another in line or next to "The girl with a dragon Tatoo" and " Gone Girl" - Indeed " Gripping, enthralling - a top-notch thriller and a compulsive read"

"Rachel, devastated by her recent divorce, spends her daily commute fantasizing about the seemingly perfect couple who live in a house that her train passes every day, until one morning she sees something shocking happen there and becomes entangled in the mystery that unfolds. Based on Paula Hawkins' bestselling novel."

The story is a first-person narrative told from the point of view of three women: Rachel, Anna, and Megan. The three women from life of Tom, whose whole life was constructed on lies - falsehoods and half-truths told to make him look better, stronger, more interesting than he was.

Hollowness: There isn't anything you can do to fix it. The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Past is a bucket of ashes


There is a famous quote which say: "I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, no just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post mortems; and remember, no one can get the jump on the future."

We carry some ashes with us, while disburse some ashes and carry the memories, while some others are completely wiped out.

We live life only once, and to make it memorable and enjoy it, better we don't carry with us any grudges, and harsh memories. Live life as it comes. Embrace change and reality, and move on.

All for himself, and God for All.
---
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister..

Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.

Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.

This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

- Paulo Coelho

Monday, January 09, 2017

Bollywood Movies from 2016



Courtesy : Yahoo News - but this was exactly what I was thinking so few tweeks from me.

The Khans continued to rule the roost as Fan (Shah Rukh Khan), Sultan (Salman Khan) and Dangal (Aamir Khan) are still the biggest films of the year, while Akshay Kumar moved from strength to strength with two incredible portrayals in Airlift and Rustom.

Airlift


The massive evacuation of Indian refugees from Kuwait during the Gulf War was a story waiting to be told. This one had all the elements of a war thriller, with equal measures of despair, drama, fortitude and hope. And our director does a brilliant job of bringing out the



Neerja


Ram Madhvani's 'Neerja' was nuanced, compelling and sincere. The director exhibited rare restrain in his handling of this remarkable biographical story of Neerja Bhanot, the flight attendant aboard the ill-fated Pan Am Flight 73, who was shot dead by terrorists.


Udta Punjab


Abhishek Chaubey deserves applause for an intense, dark and disturbing depiction of the state of Punjab. Alia Bhatt belted out a career-best performance as the migrant labourer, a victim of the drug abuse menace in the state.


PINK



In this masterpiece, Amitabh Bachchan's eccentric lawyer brings to fore the issue of a woman's consent in Indian society. A compelling courtroom drama, PINK drove across its points without the painful, verbose sermonizing that Hindi films routinely subject us to. There were indeed some weekloops in the second half court scene's though.

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil


Karan Johar's 'Ae Dil Hai Mushkil' was a take on the complicated journeys that love embarks on in real life. While I enjoyed every bit of the rollercoaster ride and the anguish of unrequited love. Still, ADHM was film that looked good and felt good.


Dear Zindagi



Gauri Shinde’s film was a must-watch for the beauty of subtlety, for its insight into contemporary relationships and to understand that talking to a therapist can be as simple as trying to get some sleep. There's no shame in seeking help for emotional issues, just like we do for physical ailments.


Dangal



This film will rank not only as one of the best of the year, but among the best Hindi films on sports, ever. 'Dangal' is as much a story about the sport – wrestling, as it is about revisiting gender stereotypes and a complex father-daughter relationship. Aamir Khan and his two young actresses - Fatima and Sanya - made an impression on one and all.


My favourate undoubtedly was Dear Zindagi.Not sure on how Kapoor and Sons, Sultan and Fan were, missed it. Dhoni: An untold story was also worth the watch, though missed Azar's biopic.

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

Can we be Happy Always?



Just loved these lines...

When I got enough confidence, the stage was gone...

When I was sure of losing, I won...

When I needed people the most, they left me...

When I learnt to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on...

When I mastered the skill of hating, someone started loving me from the core of the heart...

And while waiting for light for hours when I fell asleep, the sun came out...

That's life!!

No matter what you plan, you never know what life has planned for you...

Success introduces you to the world..

But failure introduces the world to you...

Always be Happy!!!

Often when we lose hope and think this is the end..

God smiles from above and says,

"Relax Sweetheart, It's just a Bend, not the End!

In the journey of life, we pass pleasure and pain. There will be sunshine and rain; There will be loss and gain. But we must learn to smile and smile again.

Together is the most wonderful place to be



In the journey of life, we pass pleasure and pain. There will be sunshine and rain; There will be loss and gain. But we must learn to smile and smile again. Together is a wonderful place to be in.

Four years since my Achan is no more; but he is the one person I think of daily..even more now. Together we are still. Together we may not be in person which is such a pain and shame.

People do ask, which is the favourate place I would like to be in; it is being Together with my loved ones. There is no better place than that.

This new year, may we be together with our loved ones. Time is limited in supply, but it is upto us on how we use it and where we spend it, and belive me; there is no place worth better spending it; than with our loved ones.

As kids grow up, and with the passing time, people prefer nuclear family; they like to see far away land; move around the world, Nature and the world around is beautiful, and we need to see it, but we would never again be able to spend time with the ones we love...and it is every parents dream to see their children together. Very few children realise it when they still have their parents around.

Not only individual families; this is applicable to countries as well. Moreover, even the TEAM suggest - Together everyone Achieve more.

Indeed Together is the most wonderful place to be in.....

Friday, December 30, 2016

Dhangal


Have read the below by Chandramohan in 'The Cinema Company' - I did not feel like anything more:

Well, the apparent disappointment of not able to watch a Mollywood film this Christmas and new year season for obvious reasons has been put to shelves, thanks to Aamir Khan and Co through a terrific and brilliant movie in the form of Dangal. This is one movie which has earned its place to be called a masterpiece on all counts. Carrying a heavy burden of expectations on its shoulders, Dangal serves to appeal to every class of audience irrespective of the age factor and genre preference.


I was thinking before the release about how Dangal is going to make it count and sustain at the box office when a similar movie dealing with the sport of Wrestling in the form of Sultan hit cinemas and went on to taste success. But the similarities just end up there. The stories are totally different and poles apart even though both deal with wrestling. Sultan was more of a fictional story having prominence for romance and thrills, Dangal is more of a biopic on real life characters.

Dangal is the story of Mahavir Singh Phogat hailing from Haryana who was a national wrestling champion turned coach. He wanted to represent the country and win a gold medal. Fate had other plans as Mahavir could not realize his dream but he retain the ambition of achieving his dream through his son. There also fate played its part as to his disappointment the man is blessed with four girl childs. Whether Mahavir can achieve his long cherished goal is the big question and Dangal the movie show what happens next.

Bollywood has a special preference for sports biopics. Movies like Chak De India, Budhia Singh, Mary Kom, Baagh Milka Baagh and Iqbal are all ample testimony to the fondness the industry has towards this genre. Each of these movies were able to make a deep bonding and instant connection with the audience. Dangal also is also on a similar terrain, if not much more than them.

Its an all out Aamir Khan show with excellent support from his co-actors but a movie cannot taste success unless it is backed by beautiful presentation and exciting screenplay. It is here that Dangal score the perfect rank or the full marks to take it to another level. Singh is King says our professional boxing hero Vijender Singh but in a movie, to be effective and successful, i would say writing is the King.

Director Nitesh Tiwari who is in terrific touch here along with his writers have been able to come up with a special film, by far the best to come out of Bollywood for a long time. In fact the director has set a new bench mark as far direction goes surpassing some best movies. Chillar Party, Bhootnath Returns are some of the movies to Nitesh's credit and he has made Dangal an exceptional and outstanding film.

Geeta Kumari and Babita Kumari's exploits at the Commonwealth Games representing the country is a known and familiar thing to the people loving and following this sport. Now it is a matter of how their story is going to be executed. The big question that will be raised is, has the movie done justice to their story with less predictability and ample excitement as a movie? Well, the answer is pretty simple and straightforward, Dangal has more than lived up to the hype with a near perfect film and is a pure must watch and a clear winner.

He is called Mr.Perfectionist by his ardent fans and followers and the media too has only golden words to describe his credentials as an actor and the the film that Aamir chooses. The role of a perfectionist is to ensure that the standards set by him is maintained every time he is out there, no matter what the role he is enacting. Aamir Khan has just done that.

A brilliant display of acting where each and every scene has this perfection in such a way that we cannot pick a scene which is the best since each and every scene that the actor is part of is done in remarkable fashion. The transformation he has done to his body to show different phase of his life is truly laudable.

Even though we can see Aamir Khan claiming bulk of the screen presence, few actors in spite of his towering presence still made it count and made performances which are truly memorable. The first and foremost among them are the two people who played Geeta Kumari, the eldest of the four daughters of Mahavir. The little girl who portrayed Geetha's younger days was upto the task. It is Fathima Sana Shaikh who is the chosen one to play Geeta when she is in her youth and believe me she was simply awesome with her acting as well as fighting skills. I think she is a real wrestler and if not have taken time and efforts to learn the sport.

Same goes for Sanya Malhotra playing Babita Kumari bringing in lot of freshness to the role. The girl who portrayed the little Babita too was noteworthy. The guy who played cousin brother to the girls as well as the actress (Sakshi Tanwar) who did the role of Mahavir's wife too deserves a word of mention here though their roles were quite small.

Cinematography is excellent while the cuts were perfect. One can say that one hundred and sixty one minutes is on the higher side but never does the film makes you bored or for that matter overstay. Pritam has given soulful music with a local flavor. Background score also had the apt feel in it. Another notable area is the way in which all the fighting scenes (Wrestling) has been choreographed. Whoever has done it deserves a round of applause.

Dangal is one film that will make you weep and at the same time provide excitement, joy and inspiration by the time the final scene wrap up on screen. I would say it is a remarkable movie that is a must watch. Goosebumps started appearing when the climax of the movie was on display. Such was the feel and power that the movie had in its possession to win over the audience. Go and grab your tickets is the final word from me.


-----

What actually touched me is the father-daughter relationship and Aamirs words that while coching, he cannot mix his fatherly affection to bring out the best result.

Religion


Take any religion;
• There will be a group of people who claims to follow that religion, though not
• Those who will be identified as true followers by their conduct

For example for Jehovah’s witnesses:
Those who do the will of Jehovah and conduct their lives accordingly are the ones who will be marked as true Christians among the following 4 characteristics.

1. Their lives are governed by the principles of God’s word – John 17:17; when faced with temptations, Jesus quoted from God’s word, he taught God’s word, he had remarkable knowledge of God’s word.
2. They involve in the sanctification of God’s name – because that was what Jesus had done John 17:6
3. They involve in preaching the good news of the kingdom – Daniel 2:44- again that is what Jesus had done, who else the preaching work across the globe other than Jehovah’s witness
4. Love one another – John 13:34,35; We adorn ourselves with the cloth of Love which makes it easier to identify us – we belong to one family –Therefore it is necessary that we live as Christ’s followers – because everyone else, including who claims to be Jesus followers will be destroyed.

Not long before had written on the topic:

http://arunoday.blogspot.in/2016/07/religious-conversion-unrest.html


Even today there is lot of debate, and unrest on this topic. We all know we are one, same children of one God. Yet people need something to fight over. Prove their faith, their thoughts are right. Why? Why can we all not move forwards with unity, with oneness in our mind? Do all religion not teach us that?

One more year.....Reminiscence - A December to Remember



Wishing one and all Happiness Always!! Yet another change to a calender year, with somethings remaining the same, and somethings changing.....All memories do not last for ever, fresh memories erase off the old ones.If we try to grow where something, even a part of us has died, we will experience sickness. It is better to move, uproot overselves and start afresh; then we will flourish. Easier said, difficult to implement. Miracles only grow where you plant them. May you have a healthy, wealthy, peaceful and fulfilling year ahead!!! Thank God for the opportunity, Thank you dear ones for being there for me, hugs to my dear ones for your losses, we need to move on...Praying for eternal bliss .....Happy New Year 2017, may it unfold fresh memories....


Two most important thing to have in life –

• Health and
• Wealth

You never realise until you lose them. If wealth is lost, you can regain; but health lost is difficult.

The advise I had when leaving OPI/EXL was that the health is the first of life. But I had always taken it for granted and have seen them failing in the last couple of years. First father and the saga continue.

Blood Pressure

Two numbers are used to describe blood pressure:
• Systolic. The systolic pressure (the higher and first number) measures the force that blood exerts on the artery walls as the heart contracts to pump out the blood.
• Diastolic. The diastolic pressure (the lower and second number) is the measurement of force as the heart relaxes to allow the blood to flow into the heart.
Blood pressure is measured in millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). A blood pressure reading is written like this: 120/80 mm Hg, where 120 is the systolic, and 80 is the diastolic blood pressure.
Blood pressures are now categorized as normal, prehypertension, hypertension stage 1, or hypertension stage 2. The categories are defined in this table:

Category Systolic BP (mm Hg) Diastolic BP (mm Hg)
Normal below 120 and below 80
Prehypertension 120 - 139 or 80 - 89
Hypertension Stage 1 140 -159 or 90 - 99
Hypertension Stage 2 160 and above or 100 and above

Blood lipids, including cholesterol

Lipoproteins are protein spheres that transport cholesterol, triglyceride, or other lipid molecules through the bloodstream. Most of the information about the effects of cholesterol and triglyceride actually concerns lipoproteins.

The cholesterol-carrying lipoproteins are commonly referred to as cholesterol. They comprise the low density lipoproteins (LDL), often called the "bad" cholesterol, and the high-density lipoproteins (HDL), referred to as the "good" cholesterol. The triglyceride-carrying lipoproteins are intermediate in density, and together with very-low density proteins, carry triglycerides.

Desirable total cholesterol: below 200 mg/dL (5.17 mmol/L)
Optimal LDL ('bad') cholesterol: below 100 mg/dL (2.6 mmol/L)
Optimal HDL ('good') cholesterol: over 60 mg/dL (1.56 mmol/L)
Normal triglyceride: below 150 mg/dL (1.7 mmol/L)

Dividing the total cholesterol by the HDL cholesterol levels gives a Total/HDL ratio:

The ideal ratio is 3.5 or below.
A ratio of 4.5 carries an average risk for cardiovascular disease.

Blood Sugar Levels

Normal blood glucose levels typically register between 70 and 150 mg. The level in someone's body will change during the day and is affected by many factors including what time of day it is as well as what your most recent meal was (or was not). There is danger associated with levels either below or above the range. If your level is below 70, you most likely have a condition called hypoglycemia or more commonly called low blood sugar. Other symptoms of hypoglycemia include lack of energy, focus and irritability. You can even lose consciousness if your glucose is too low.

If the level of sugar in your blood is over 150 mg, then you are considered to be hyperglycemic, also more commonly known as having high blood sugar. If you have persistent high sugar, then you are at risk for diabetes which can result in serious organ damage to your eyes, kidneys and other organs. If you do not have normal blood glucose levels, you should take all necessary steps to reverse the condition by calling you physician.

----------------

Nothing last for ever - one more year gone by, like so many loved ones. Life goes one, hoping for the better.

Reminiscence - A December to Remember

Nostalgic end to a year. Meeting friends and relatives. A great reminiscence.

It was great being with my foster family on the Christmas Eve. Meeting childhood friends after years. Meeting old colleagues, and catching up with relatives. Reading the books one loved like Famous Five, and Arthur Conan Doyle's series of Sherlock Holmes.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Celebrating Public Spaces of India.


An amazing book by Archana Gupta and Anshuman Gupta. If you love travelling, photography or architecture, this book is for you. You feel like visiting each of these places, as they are well arranged and explained – dividing the urban public places into Monument plazas, cultural spaces, parks, markets, waterfront spaces, and religious spaces from across India. Beginning with the why and how of the places - how western and Indian perspective have influenced the formation. A worthy investment, not to be missed.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Dear Zindagi


Dear Zindagi deals with a 20s something aspiring cinematographer Kaira played by Alia Bhatt and her journey as she tries to deal with her professional and personal commitments. Her mistakes and her regrets eventually leads to a breakdown of sorts that results in her contacting a therapist, the Demak kha doctor - DD played by Shah Rukh Khan. Her encounter with Jug, an unconventional thinker, helps her gain a new perspective on life. She discovers that happiness is all about finding comfort in life's imperfections.

She is good at her work, but not getting that big break. Even her relationships in life – be it her parents or the men in her life are screwed up thanks to her own apprehensions.However when things get too much for her delicate mind to handle, she decides to consult a therapist.

Is finding the right partner in life similar to finding the right chair? That was interesting. If we go by Jug’s earlier theory, the chair only creaks when you are confused about love, then that means he is confused about his feelings for his last patient. So has Jug started falling for his much younger patient?

This is an Alia Bhatt movie, through and through.If you were awed by her performance in Udta Punjab, be prepared to be blown away by her sheer anguish here.

Thursday, December 08, 2016

ADHM - Ae Dhil Hey Mushkil



"Tu safar mera, tu hi mera hai suffering,Movie me jage rehna, ae dil hai mushkil." - Well for each their own, I just loved the movie.

What would you expect when you put together Friendship vs.Love from KKHH, Life vs. Death from KHNH, Kushi and Gum not like KKKG, The slap effect from KANK..what would you expect from a typical KJO movie put together traditional dance and wedding, foreign and beautiful locations, heart touching songs..what would you expect from a heartthrob Ranbeer, phataka Anushka and stylist Aish, Guest appearances of AB and SK..is what Matters of the heart are difficult or ADHM all about...Full timepass..If you enjoy THE TYPICAL Bollywood movie you would enjoy this...


ADHM is a mixture of KJo's past movies (ref. dialogues n songs from his own movies), he's back doing what he does best in showing the complexity in relationships with high emotion and drama at its peak, Ash looks stunning but very less screen presence than expectd, Anushka being impressive and in a matured role knowing exactly what she expcts from a relationship but its RK who completely steals d show from being comical to heartbroken to a confused lover, he has nailed down each n every moment shown...nothing new 2 expct from dis movie but still a beautiful story wid a blend of love and friendship..So for each their own..am a fan of KJo and Ranbir.

I did like the movie and ended up seeing it twice - first day first show...and again. My Cousins would say " Arengilum pogumo ranbir kapoorinde padam kaanan..Athum k Jo movie... Veruthe aarengilum trainnu thala vakkyo ?? And kept sending across:

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil Spoof || Shudh Desi Endings

Subscribe Us On YouTube : https://www.youtube.com/ShudhDesiEndings Follow us Twitter : https://twitter.com/ShudhDesiEnding Facebook :

But I did love the dialogues :

Ek tarfa pyar ki taqat hi kuch aur hoti hai ... auron ke rishton ki tarah yeh do logon mein nahi bat'ti ... sirf mera haq hai ispe.

Mohabbat karna hamare bas mein nahi hai ... us mohabbat se door chale jaana ... woh hamare bas mein hai

Aasaan hai kya aisi mohabbat karna ... jiske badle mohabbat na mile

Main kisi ki zaroorat nahi ... khwaish banna chahti hoon

Ajeeb kahani hai pyar aur dosti ke rishtey ki ... pyar hamara hero, dosti hamari heroine

Pyar mein junoon hai par dosti mein sukoon hai

Sau andheron mein bhi roshan ho, us haqeeqat ki talash hai ... teri dehleez pe chhod aaye, us mohabbat ki talash hai ... jhukne ki ibaadat ko toh samjhe jahaan walon ... katne pe joh haasil ho, us jannat ki talash hai (I'm looking for that reality which shines even in extreme dark conditions ... I' looking for that love which I left at your doorsteps ... people of the world, try to understand the prayer when one bows down ... I'm looking for that heaven which you attain after death)

Mujhe samjhane ki koshish mat karna ... kyun ki agar samjhaoge toh samajh jaaongi ... agar samajh gayi toh bikhar jaaongi

Kuch zakhmon ke karz lafzon se ada nahi hote

Jab main bhurji paratha khata hoon na ... toh joh khushi mehsoos hoti hai, mujhe woh wali feeling aa rahi hai ... you know jaise, dil ka pet bhar gaya ho



Top 10 tips to help with transitioning when thrown from your comfort zone



https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-i-learnt-from-being-made-redundant-jane-kneebone?trk=hp-feed-article-title-like

1) Leave with your dignity intact. Complete projects properly and do a handover if required.

2) Take a well-deserved holiday.

3) Make use of all the outplacement and job search services if you are offered them. I learnt a couple of good things from them.

4) Use the time off to think about what you really want to do and what your true values are. I now work in the not-for-profit sector and have never been happier at work.

5) Take any advice from head hunters and agents with a grain of salt. They all told me it would take at least 12 months to find work and it took me only 2.5 weeks.

6) The best advice I was given, by a very wise person, was only go forward and never look back. This advice meant no complaining about the past and what could have been. Move on… fast.

7) Keep in touch with the people you used to work with who you liked and enjoy spending time with. I find my old work buddies, who I class as friends, love to see me and invite me to all sorts of interesting things.

8) The world is in a state of flux so learn to live with ambiguity and the unknown. Don’t fight it, try to embrace it. I now love change and feel more alive.

9) Search for opportunities that you never did before. I have a voluntary role on a board now and am learning many new skills.

10) Get a life – work does not define you.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Mood Swings



Recently one of my dear team members left our team, and the feedback she gave me, was my mood swing. Though I have always known about it, and have tried to control it; this time tried to research more on it. Thought of sharing my thoughts as it might help many.

Mood swings are distressing and mentally exhausting. It makes one react with extreme emotions and affect our mental peace and relationships. However, what is worse is that nobody seems to understand this state. It is easily dismissed as ‘that time of the month’; while we are left to experience the pain of feeling this way. Everyday. As difficult it is to explain someone that mood swings are not a choice or simple hormone play, it is also difficult to understand their core within ourselves. We fail to understand their cause and hence, there is no direction to work upon them. Some of the probable causes of mood swings include:

Stress each person has a different way of dealing with stress. Often we don’t realize that we are stressed but our over-worked mind find ways to exhale it through various ways. One of these ways is expressing the stress through mood swings.

Learnt behavior- you have seen people around you behaving with extreme emotions and perhaps, knowingly/ unknowingly learnt that pattern. It is difficult to change mood patterns and require conscious and effective behavior modification techniques.

Lack of sleep- proper and good sleep is essential to maintain the equilibrium of the mind. People who do not get enough and good sleep are tend to be irritable and exhausted.

Depression- depression is wrongly related to only sadness. Some people experience depression through anger and irritability and phases of sadness, anger and happiness is a common symptom.

Bipolar Disorder- extreme phases of sadness and happiness can be a symptom of Bipolar Disorder. While mood swings are common, extreme mood swings need to be considered as a symptom. Perhaps, sometimes knowing the cause is not enough. No matter how hard one tries to control one’s emotions, the phases continue to occur.


Although it is not a cakewalk but some of the ways to tackle mood swings include:

1.Get good sleep- make sure you get enough good sleep and the sleep cycle is maintained.

2.Locate the cause- often we associate our mood to an unrelated event and literally find a reason to be angry or upset. Introspect and know that whatever you are feeling is coming from within and has no particular reason in the real world.

3.Take back your life’s control- know that it is your life and it is still in your control. Building that confidence in yourself will calm the chaos in the mind.

4.Write your feelings- if you are feeling unnecessarily sad, happy or angry and possibly there are no words to explain this state to anyone, the best is to write down exactly what you are feeling and thinking. Use this note to later evaluate and understand your state. It might help you note patterns; for instance- what triggers an emotion and what calms it.

5.Seek help- often we are stuck in the rough waves of emotions and it is difficult to think through the chaos. It is best to seek professional help from someone who can help you see the larger picture and help you understand the roots of your mood swings.

Mood swings are notably disturbing for oneself and others around. However, it is important to understand that they are an expression of a deeper psychological pain. It is perhaps, a language that your mind has chosen to speak the stress, trauma or problem it is going through. As important it is to get over these mood swings, it is also important to understand and process their roots.

Sibila - Lucky or Unlucky you!



Though I lost my dearest grandmother in 2015 who was a part of me, I always felt 2015 was a better year than 2016 and kept wondering why the whole of yesterday night, and got to read the below, which made me realise the reason - a flash back to 2016.

As my previous post - Jan 10th Sibila was admitted to the hospital, and on 12th was a surgery - had been to hospital at her request then, it was her husband, me and her sister there on the 12th morning - it was not destined for her to be with us for long.

The incident has left me pondering - but noone had to go through the pain and courage that Reghu had to go through, I can feel a pinch of it, as it even helped me realise who my true friends where. - Some wanted us only for timepass, some where there for us to be our strength during our difficult times - Thank you Praseed.

Below is the message from Reghu verbatam:

"Hi all, I am Reghu

I have been thinking of writing and talking to you all for last couple of months. I tried many times, but no words came out of me. My mind was blank and silent. Even now I don’t know what would I write, but a strong feel is coming from inside to start talking to you all.

I just realized that, today it is six months since I lost the physical presence of my Sibi. The last six months were the most difficult period of time in my life. We, my kids and me, were learning to live without the candle which used to lit our life. Life is slowly coming back to a track and routines. Malavika and Advaith re-started their schooling, I re-started as a regular office goer, and we try to solace each other silently.

Cancer! It is a cruel disease. Not only because of the physical pain it causes but it brings out the real colors of people around you. Doctors who are either too blunt or tight-lipped. The "well-wishers" around you giving forced advices, giving countless directions, success stories, failure stories and thousands of "what-if" scenarios. And some people collect the bad 'stories' and experiences other fellow patients received from your treating doctor, just to tell you. Fake medicines, fake claims, etc etc. Above all these things, the "greed" of your beloved ones starts unfolding slowly. In short, life becomes cruel un-necessarily. Or in other words, we start seeing the reality. I tried my level best to block all these interferences by becoming a bad boy, but I could read from Sibi's eyes that she knows everything. In the night, after switching off the lights, we used sit silently hugging each other feeling the heartbeat eachother. I could feel the tear drops flowing one after the other from her eyes. I begged, cried and pleaded to god in all those moments but…

Sibi used to go through each and every treatment notes, scan reports, medicines etc. She wanted to know, what is happening in her treatment. She had great faith in her doctor and was courageous to face anything to win over the disease. She used to cry when the pain surges. But when the pain goes away, she used to tell me "Never go to a palliative mode, just because this pain is unbearable at times". I had to block many friends, relatives and well-wishers from visiting her in those days. "They may feel sad seeing me in this state. So ask them not to visit" - this was her usual reply.

I sincerely apologize to all who felt bad about those incidents. Sibi always wanted to be in your hearts as "smiley" as her closest friends used to call her. She never wanted anyone else to see her tear-filled eyes.

About our younger kid "Advaith". Sibi was very much sure that, our second child was going to be a boy. She decided his name as "Advaith" even before his birth, saying the name would have great significance in his life. Life was flowing peacefully. She wanted to resign from her office once the maternity leave ends. But, because of one helping hand she had showed, all our plans shattered. She gave a huge amount of money to one of her most beloved ones expecting it back in couple of months. The money was not returned. Because of that, we had to take HUGE personal loans. The EMIs were heavy. It forced both of us to work like dogs with hectic office schedules. We both used to leave early from home and come back late, leaving our kids at the mercy of maids. Advaith was emotionally so attached to Sibi, her absence and over exposure to TV because of the maids, and still-unknown reasons, he started shrinking to himself. A speech delay was identified and later diagnosed as a developmental issue - Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

Sibi's disease and his problem were diagnosed at the same time. Sibi's Continuous treatment, Kids treatment and therapies, Office work, finding source for EMIs… I was getting busier every day. During those days we got support from god, in the form of many people emotionally, mentally, monetarily and spiritually. It was those days, we felt the real value of friendship and relationship. Thank you all, words are not enough to express our gratitude.

Sibi never wanted to publicize about Advaith health condition to anyone. But I know, many of Sibi's friends are as generous as Sibi. I don’t want to see any of her friends to go into the same state. Don’t help relatives by giving money - that is the lesson we learnt. You can bear losing money. But, you may not be able to bear losing the relationship. And the damage that happens to our kids due to our financial debts and commitments is beyond words. Advaith is slowly improving with therapies and all. I am sure he is going to be fine, as he is Sibi's dream.

During Sibi's treatment, when we heard of a possibility of surgery we went for it in good faith. But it turned all the efforts upside down. Before going to the surgery, Sibi asked to promise to do everything possible as "Savithri" did for "Satyavan" in case of any unexpected issues. I did. When everyone else in the world, except her dearest friends, expected her to die I asked for ventilator support. Many people told "he is mad, he is not realisitc, he is the reason for all her plight, etc etc". All the relatives went home. I was alone at hospital with my Sibi. All our friends stood by me like rock. She slowly showed signs of coming back. She was shifted out of ventilator to room. She started talking to friends over phone. She was so confident and happy to receive friends in the hospital too. She talked a lot. The long chemo had done enough damage than we imagined. She had shown emotional instability, and an unexplainable fear, at times. A fracture had happened in her leg during physiotherapy. The silent killer - neutropenia with internal infection surged all on a sudden. And… I failed. I could not keep my promise that I had given her.

My kid Malavika, did not cry when I told her that I could not keep my promise , to bring her mother back in good health. Tears streamed out of her eyes, but she did not cry. She asked me not to cry as well, as "Advaith" would feel sad. She hugged me like her mother used to do. I promised her that I would be strong. She said she also would be strong otherwise her 'amma' would be sad. I slowly prepared her to do the last rites. Explained all the procedures and their meaning. She obeyed them peacefully. Sibi's departure affected my kid a lot in many ways. Sibi was her best friend, best play mate and her love. The emptiness due to the absence of her dearest "amma" is something which cannot be re-filled by anyone else.

In-short, my difficult days started from April 11th. In one of the post-ventilator days sibi said what all things are going to happen if she goes early. And, they are happening now! It is great to see the reality of this world.

I know this note has become very long. May be I had gone to un-necessary details. I just wrote it as it came to my mind. Once again, my sincere apologies to everyone if I had hurt you in anyway during the course of treatment, and for the disconnect happened after Sibi's departure. Thank everyone for showering all your support and prayers even now.

I am not frequent FB user, but still just leave a note or call my mobile. Will update this FB page occasionally. We are more than happy to connect with you all.

Thanks and regards
Reghu"

Sunday, October 09, 2016

15 To Do Things to improve Life


15 things that may be hard to do, but could change your life forever By Rachel Gillett made an interesting read and thought it worth sharing with all.

What makes someone uncomfortable depends on the person, but what's universally true is the value of recognizing boundaries and continually pushing them.

Here are some uncomfortable things that help us grow:

1. Question everything

"The most uncomfortable thing one can do is to question everything that is taken for granted and seek answers," writes Malli Gurram. "Try to see the other side of the norm."

2. Be 100% honest

Being the most honest you've ever been with someone in your life will be one of the most uncomfortable things you can do, Ryan Brown says, but it could also be the most valuable.

To do this, he suggests writing a list of all the people to whom you have something — good or bad — to say, writing down the honest feelings you need to convey to them in a letter, handing the person the letter, and writing down what happened and how the experience affected you and the other person.

"If you're being really honest, each letter you write should make you quite emotional as you are writing it," Brown writes. "That is how you know you have tapped into your actual emotions and feelings — that it actually means something to you."

"Don't forget what you have learned from the experience," he suggests. "Let it be with you forever."

3. Meditate

Oftentimes, slowing down and finding inner calm can be especially difficult for those of us who are constantly on the go and thinking of the next things we need to do.

But as Nathan Hershey points out, the benefits can include enhancing your cognitive capacity, emotional intelligence, and overall self-discipline.

4. Wake up extremely early

Ekin Ă–calan loves to wake up before sunrise because it provides the perfect study-and-work environment. Waking at 5 a.m., while everyone else sleeps, is the perfect, albeit challenging, way to begin the day in silence, he writes.

5. Do something creative

"Many people say they want to be creative. Then they go home and binge watch TV episodes on Netflix while drinking red wine," Mark Toole writes.

While fear of rejection and failure are powerful demotivators, having a creative outlet can do wonders for our bodies and minds. What's more, "keeping your work to yourself also guarantees that nobody else will ever love it," Toole notes.

6. Watch your pennies

Keep track of every penny you spend, from auto repairs and life insurance to coffee and french fries, for several months, suggests Bruce A McIntyre.

And try paying for everything you can with cash. "If you have to reach in your wallet and pull out cash, you will often think twice about how much you need something."

You'd be surprised how much debt you can pay off when you literally watch your pennies.

7. Volunteer

Gurram suggests volunteering for a nonprofit or doing selfless deeds. Volunteering can make you feel like you're part of something big, Gurram says, using volunteer experience with TEDx as an example.

"It was such an overwhelming feeling I had on the big day, being part of the community," Gurram says.

8. Track what you eat

Keeping track of all the food you eat and all the exercise you do in a day can be challenging, butTina Marshall says using her MyFitnessPal app helped her see the harm she was doing to her body.

"I didn't realize how little of some nutrients I was getting and how much sugar and fat I was getting daily until I started to do this regularly," she writes.

9. Eat only nutritious food

After you track your food, start eating only what is truly nutritious — Doug Whitney says this will change your life forever.

"The short answer here is to prepare your own food, eat organic as much as possible — yes, it's expensive, but it's cheaper than the medical bills and lost performance — focus on lean meats and veggies, avoid grains (they're disastrous for most of us), and when you do eat something that isn't good for you, notice the difference in how you feel. This is key!"

He says this will be uncomfortable for a number of reasons: It's hard; it's socially limiting; it can be more expensive if you are used to eating off the dollar menu; it's not as tasty when you start, and it takes more time.

But he says the outcome is 100% worth the effort. "Being a weird health nut and outperforming everyone else is so much more fun than blending in — and that's not just athletically. It's mentally as well."

10. Practice public speaking

It may be scary to think about, but you never know when you may be called upon to speak in public. Practice, while daunting, is the key to improving your communication skills.

Gurram recommends joining a nearby Toastmasters group or an improv group in your city: "It's scary as hell until you realize that everyone around you feels the same."

11. Talk to someone new

"See someone you're interested in? Go talk to them," Toole suggests. "The worst that can happen is an epically catastrophic rejection, which gives you something funny to talk about. That and increased confidence in your abilities next time."

12. Leave your phone in your pocket

"How many times have you checked your phone while reading this? The last time you were at a restaurant or bar, how many times did you pull out your phone to look something up?" Toole asks.

There's something to be said of taking a digital detox and allowing our minds to wander. Rather than reaching for our phones when we're bored, research suggests that leaning into boredom can help make us more productive, goal-oriented, and creative.

Plus, it's just good manners when you're in social settings.

13. Pick just one thing to master at a time

Your approach to self-betterment might be trying as many things as possible and seeing what works. But Rob Hanna says using the opposite tactic, though uncomfortable, is key.

"Intention is the key to mastery," Hanna writes. He explains this requires calling your shots and hitting them.

"The problem with most improvement seekers in life is that they really don't know what they're looking for, and then they keep casting about capriciously for the next new thing."

If you're constantly changing interests, he says, you're never going to discover your own internal progress. "So pick one thing and become progressively committed to mastering it. It doesn't matter what it is, anything will do, as long as you do."

14. Accomplish an almost impossible goal

The most uncomfortable thing you can do, according to Rizwan Aseem, is to set and achieve a goal that's harder than something you've ever done before.

To do that, he suggests you think about a thing you're comfortable doing every day and amplify it until you get to a point where you become really scared of doing it. If you run a mile every day, the idea of running seven might terrify you. Set this as your one-year goal.

"The hardest part is to actually go out there and take the actions steps that will help you achieve this goal," he writes.

"You will have to use all your mental and physical strength to actually get yourself to achieve this goal. But here's the thing: Something very cool happens in your mind, your physiology, your internal makeup when you actually do this. You become invincible. You will be able to set any goal for yourself and then achieve it."

15. Seek help

"I think the most uncomfortable yet healthy thing you can do is go to therapy," writes Sam Ham. "There, those defenses you've been utilizing for years, or perhaps decades, may be exposed, and it can be incredibly difficult to realize that you (and those you love or hate) are not necessarily who you thought."

As Business Insider previously reported, roughly one in every five Americans, or about 43 million people, suffers from mental illness, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. About 60% of us received no treatment in the past. With cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), people start to change their thoughts, which in turn can cause behavior changes.

"Learning that you, and those around you, are not so black and white and absolute can be, at the very least, uncomfortable and disorienting. And practicing awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness can be a rigorous and exhausting chore," Ham writes. "But damn, it's so worth it."

Thursday, October 06, 2016

Fight and Peace



People always want something to keep them going ...whatever, wherever, however.

This is the law of nature..how human beings are created...siblings and spouse fight among themselves..but for a bigger cause they come together Neighbouring states within the same country cant tolerate each other, they fight for water. Then there is no wonder if two neighbouring countries are in war for the most beautiful place.

And if there is a world war..the neighbouring countries may come together..as they have during 1 and 2 And if life is found in another planet...and they come to fight with us..everybody on earth will be together....

First it was strike in Banglore for Water - Kavary - fire for water.

Then after that the news on Sept 30th:

"Hitting back at Pakistan following its failure to act against terror, the Indian Army today said it conducted surgical strikes targeting several terror launch pads in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir last night.
The announcement was made at a press conference held by the Ministry of External Affairs and the Defence Ministry.
“Indian Army conducted surgical strikes on terror launch pads on the LoC, significant casualties have been caused,” DGMO Lt Gen Ranbir Singh said.

"Heavy damages have been caused to terrorists, many of them have been killed," the DGMO added.

The motive of this operation was to hit out at the terrorists who were planning to infiltrate into our territory, the DGMO added.

"Indian armed forces ready for any contingency. As of now we have no plans of further operations," he said.

Its so sad this enemity has lasted for so many years. At places all live in harmony and every religion respected. Wish this was the case back on the border too.

If a child is beaten again and again for no reason one day it will revert this is case we did yesterday...it's normal human nature..it is for that human to understand who is beating the child and the beaten.

Restraint is the reason why India made so much progress while Pakistan and Bangladesh are lagging so far behind. I hope things stop here.

India has never targeted civilians or their soldiers. They killed Uri soldiers in their sleep. Cowards had to be given at least this much.Pakistan? or whoever has been continuously attacking us at Taj, parliment, airport...US attack in sept, London attack in July and Taj Mumbai attack in Nov are just a few glimpses.

Cannot think of another war. God we pray for peace. Om Shanthi! Shanthi! Shanthi!


Mindfulness



Isn't it interesting to know that we tend to judge others by their behaviour and ourselves by our intentions.

We tend to miss attention/focus on important things, and try to find time to rectify them.

Interest in mindfulness led to the creation in 2007 of the “Search Inside Yourself” program, which focuses on three development areas:

Attention training. This entails becoming aware of your attention, and when you lose it, learning to bring it back to the task at hand. Attention training leads to attention endurance, or the ability to singularly focus for longer periods of time.

Self-knowledge. This is the ability to view yourself objectively, without ego, and to better understand your strengths and weaknesses.

Creation of mental habits. This training teaches your brain how to behave in different ways, yielding more discipline and greater willpower.

Be mindful of yourself, and things around you.

Matilda by Roald Dahl



It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still thibk that he or she is wonderful.

Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.
Well there is nothing wrong with all this. It's the way of the world.

Matilda Wormwood's father is a mean crooked crook and mother plain stupid. They think Matilda is a nuisance who should watch more TV and read fewer books! But her lovely teacher Miss Honey thinks Matilda is a genius. Indeed she is not only in arithmetic and literature but also very practical of life and down to earth at age 5.

With her ability to move things with sight she manages to put straight headmistress Trunchbull who is alsi Ms. Honey aunt by writing on the blackboard:

"Agata this is Magnus, give my Jenny back her house and wages.."

Finally when her parents decide to move to spain, she decides to stay back with Honey.

Wish I had some magical power and capability like Matilda.

Anthropologist explains why we cheat on people we love



YouTube/TED Talks) - Thought of sharing this, as it happened to answer many of the open questions, from Krishna to modern day perfect partners.

Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher has a pretty perfect description of what it's like to be in love with someone:

Simply put, she says, that person becomes the center of the world. You have an intense craving to be with that person, not just sexually, but emotionally. You can list the things you don't like about them, but all that gets pushed aside and you focus only on what you do like about them.

"It's an obsession," Fisher said in TED Talk called "Why we love, why we cheat."

What's going on biologically, though, is far less romantic, and it explains why we sometimes cheat on those we love.

Romantic love is essentially just elevated activity of the reward hormone dopamine in the brain.

In the TED talk Fisher explains an experiment where she and a team of scientists scanned the brains of people who were in love. The team showed the smitten person a neutral photo and then a photo of their beloved. They recorded which regions of the brain were active while the person gazed at the photo of their partner.

The researchers found that one of the most important brain regions that became active when each person looked at a photo of their partner is the reward system — the same brain area that lights up when a person takes cocaine or has an orgasm.

That means that "romantic love is not an emotion, it's a drive," Fisher said. "And in fact, I think it's more powerful than the sex drive."

Many other studies have found the same thing: love operates as a motivation and reward system in the brain. So, if love is rewarding, what drives us to cheat on people we fall in love with?

The problem is that romantic love isn't the only brain system that is activated when we fall for someone. There are actually three brain systems related to love, Fisher explained.

There's the sex drive, which is like an "intolerable neural itch," to get us out searching for a range of partners to help pass on our genes. There's romantic love, which helps us focus our mating energy on one person. And then there's attachment, the calm and security we feel with a long-term partner so we can raise children with them as a team.

However, those three brain systems, sex drive, romantic love, and attachment, aren't always connected to each other.

So it's possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said.

"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.

And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner.

It's why someone can lay in bed at night thinking about deep feelings of attachment to one person and swing to thoughts of romantic love for another person.

"It's as if there's a committee meeting going on inside your head as you try to decide what to do," Fisher said. "I don't think honestly that we're an animal that was built to be happy — we're an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make."

This all sounds like a cynical take on love, but Fisher says that, despite all these straightforward and unavoidable biological processes, there's still mystery and "magic to it."