All the lives we never lived - By Anuradha Roy. (Rukun Advani)

Ah what a book! There is no black and white - each character beautiful in their own sense, all love in their own ways. So much of friendship and versions of freedom.

At its heart, All The Lives We Never Lived is an examination of the roles that define and constrain an individual, tempered as these roles are by the expectations of others.

Set in a small town called Muntazir, literally “to wait,” the novel evokes a bygone era. The chapters set in Muntazir begin with ‘Muntazir’ written in Urdu, while the chapters set in Tjampuhan in Bali begin with a word in the Balinese script, which I guess must be ‘Tjampuhan’.


Motherhood and nationhood are intertwined in our country, and Gayatri’s husband wants her to be both — the woman who will fight for her country on the street, and also stay home and look after her child. Her own needs and desires are dismissed by him as trivial.


Myshkin’s life is filled with Separation – first mother and then father. Myshkin is a horticulturist, preferring plants and animals over humans, and Roy describes his solitude in moving words – “People think of my solitude as an eccentricity or a symptom of failure… It is hard to explain to them that the shade of a tree I planted years ago or the feverish intensity of a dog fruitlessly chasing a butterfly provides what no human companionship can” – and this novel feels like an ode to memories – “We have no precise recollection of how long things took: a few days, weeks, a month?” – and separation: “Is this how partings happen? No word, no preparation, it is over and you didn’t even know it.”

Roy’s attention to the period setting and the detail with which she draws real people from history is admirable. There are at least five actual people making cameos in this novel: Walter Spies, Beryl de Zoete, Tagore, the singer Begum Akhtar, and the horticulturist Alick Percy-Lancaster.

He is lonely even when you are surrounded by people. Overall the characters evokes lot of row emotions. It’s an ode to memories and separations
Though the narration is effortless, Roy’s research and imagination in recreating a bygone era shine out. This is an excellent, unputdownable book.

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A Compelling Story of A Woman who Rebels Against Tradition for Her Artistic Freedom
Freedom of a different kind is in the air across India. The fight against British rule is reaching a critical turn. The Nazis have come to power in Germany. At this point of crisis, two strangers arrive in Gayatri's town, opening up for her the vision of other possible lives. So what was it exactly that took Myshkin's mother from India to Dutch-held Bali in the 1930s? Excavating the roots of the world in which he was abandoned, Myshkin comes to understand the connections between anguish at home and a war-torn universe overtaken by nationalism.

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From another blog:

”"Who decides the expiry date of a woman’s dreams?”

For argument’s sake you may counter it’s not just for the woman. Maybe. But the fact remains that more often than not, the moment the knot is tied around her neck, she is expected to instantly reincarnate herself into a capable, efficient and obedient home maker. You may argue times have changes, however the norm remains more often than not. There are modern minded men, of course. Most of them are like Gayatri’s husband, though. He, who takes pride in moving with the times realizes late that

‘her freedom was always with his acquiescence.’

Looking at many a woman who have passionately gone after their dreams, their journey seem to have been a lone path. There are some who have spread their wings after years of keeping them tied down, some willingly, most with a seething defiance within. And the ones who break free, their journeys were never smooth. Life was tougher by all practical means, much different from the ‘protected’ life they were used to. But if you ever get to ask any of them whether they would have gone back to what was, I’m sure the answer would be a resounding no. For they know the past would have been far worse than anything that came after."

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*Why Women Need a Husband?*
A Woman goes to a Psychiatrist and complains: “I don't want to marry. I am educated, independent, and self-sufficient. I don't need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do?”

The psychiatrist replied: “YOU, undoubtedly will achieve great things in life. But somethings inevitably will not go the way you want. Somethings will go wrong. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes your plans won't work. Sometimes your wishes will not be fulfilled. Then who will you blame?
Will you blame Yourself?”

Woman: “NO!!!”

Psychiatrist: “Yes... That's why you need a husband “