Detachment

"We can' t sleep many nights when the cats from the neighbouring villa keep making loud noice throughout night. The yard smells cat urine.  Cat's potty in our compound, and there is shit at times on the lid of water tank. This is an everyday affair.Further, pigeons are discretely being fed every morning from the terrace. The pigeons perch on the rain drains on the roof defiling them. This is beyond what one can tolerate. If association cannot take action to implement villa rules there is no point in being a member of it. I expect strict action from the secretary including if necessary legal action. I need to also flag up the fact that my wife a post transplant patient and any zoonotic infection is life threatening." was the complaint from the neighbor.

 

Apt the reply was "Now that this “Shit” has come out, let us understand some facts here too about Villa no 8. Recently I noticed the workers walking all over Our wall. I noticed a crack on it and when I went to inspect it standing from my side of the property, I was hurled abuses and dirty language. I have pictures of the crack and post me complaining to the secretary the Villa no 8 people covered it up neatly on the top. Who is going to pay for the damaged wall when it collapses and causes risk to residents either side. There has been construction activities like wood manufacturing welding etc. since November last year. Check the reception security records to prove the worker traffic. The noise is so deafening that My wife and I have not been able to sit in peace and mourn the death of our dear mother. Saw dust and paint smell was and is a common feature for almost three months and we had to clean our front yard every day. The paint spray particles had damaged my car paint and I had to get this cleaned at my expenses. Over and above the saw dust created so much dust allergy they my Wife has developed severe dust allergy and infection and is suffering silently since then. I have enough medical certificates to show. The forest like cover in front of Villa no 8 hosting all sorts of weeds like plants has always created a mosquito menace for the past four years including the open water tank with fish in it that is maintained in their front yard that is risking lives of all the residents here including children. We have never protested in the past simply because we were simply sympathetic to Villa no 8 member health condition. This does not give anyone the right to be uncivil and hurl abuses at others. The association is free to act on the cats and pigeons in humane or inhumane way necessary as they do not belong to anyone and are free roaming animals. And last but not the least, I surely feel the shades recently built on Villa No 8 are illegal and one complaint to the Panchayat will help validate or dismantle these."

But not send out, instead, after hours of contemplation, the message that went out was: "Here is the deal. I pray for your prosperity and long life. Here after my arms will never feed anyone. Humans nor animals. As long as I live in Divine Park Villas. I am also here with renouncing every relationship in this colony from now. I am renouncing two meals a day and will live with One meal till in August when 1 year memories come together and I serve my annual rites. After that I will be gone. If these animals have destiny to live, they will Live. I will experience Living without my Life. Thank you for showing me the path of detachment and this is the Start! 🙏🏼"

And that lasted for hardly a day. That made me ponder about detachment. 

Attachment leads to suffering. It is easy to let go of people, but what is more crucial is to let go of worry, resentment and the tendency to criticize. The Bhagavad Gita  has lot many things on this topic. Krishna points out to Arjuna, among other things, we are not supposed to give up our families, or our capacity for enjoyment,  but our tendency to identify with our bodies, and personalities instead of with pure, deathless awareness. Detachment takes practise, and it reveals itself in stages.

1) Acknowledgement

2) Self-Inquiry

3) Processing

4) Creative Action

5) Freedom

One way to practice detachment, is to connect with inner presence, then offer up whatever you are trying to get free of.

 

Future of Higher Education - Nine Mega Trends

Was interesting to listed to, and be part of a virtual book launch today. The Future of Higher Education - Nine Mega Trends, by Pattabhi Ram . 

It was nice to listen to great personalities like, our Vice President Venkai Naidu, Shivakumar heading ICT academy, Manoharan Sir now Chairman of Canara Bank, and Lakshmi Narayan who was earlier heading CTS along with Pattabhi Ram Sir. A great morning with lovely message. 

This is the story of a Child born to millennial parents in 2010. The games they play, their entertainment would all be different from earlier generation, so the curriculum and future. They would have a privilege of undergoing blended learning of classroom and online. They can do a combination or courses of their choice together like civil engineering + Equity market. Exams would be conducted anytime, anywhere. They would have access to online libraries, and education globally. Even a child from rural India can have access and graduate from Harvard, may be even without travelling for long. 

Education is not just for employment or for getting a job, Education is for progress, for character building, for knowledge and wisdom. These time of Emergency the COVID has seen a drastic change in the way education is being imparted. As emergency by itself say emerge victorious, now we are using the power of Technology. There has been shift in the education system from time to time, from Gurukulsytem, to Universities, and now online education. Reorientation of teachers training would be the need of the hour. Sage is moving from stage to being guide. In India Bharath Net has been implemented.  

Protect Nature, Preserve Culture for Better Future. A beautiful and dutiful book, waiting to grab it. 

Anne Frank - The Diary of a Young Girl : Edited by Otto H. Frank & Mirjam Pressler

Anyone who is interested in reading would have heard of Anne Frank and her diary. She wanted to name it 'The Secret Annexe'; to give it a feel of a detective novel.  It is said to be the single most poignant true-life story to emerge from the Second world war. 

In July 1942, When Anne Frank was 13 years, she and her family were forced to go into hiding, in an Amsterdam warehouse to flee from the horrors of the Nazi occupation. There were eight people in the Annexe - The Frank family of four - Father, mother and two daughters - of them Father Otto H. Frank survived and lived to share the message of daughters dairy to the world. Mother Edith Frank and two sisters Mrgot and Anne along with Albert Dussel and Van family members became the victims and would not survive after their arrest on 4th August 1944 and  taken to prison and transferred to camps. Two of the helpers, Victor Kugler and Johannes Kleiman were arrested but then released. Miep Gies and Elisabeth (Bep) were safe. While in Annexe, Anne writes her thoughts and experiences,  in a diary, which she received on her birthday on 12th June 1942, and called the Diary Kitty. In that she mentions, "I hope I will be able to confide everything to you, as I have never been able to confide in anyone, and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support. "

She is amused as to how odd it is that the grown-ups quarrel so easily and so often about petty things, as she had thought bickering was just something children did and they outgrew it. She expresses her longing for trust, love and physical affection, which change in intensity, but is always there. Two years into hiding, she describes the daily rituals, how they have changed, the food habits and life style, their cat, and her love for Peter - Van's son.  It makes her shiver to think of the dull, distant drone that signified the approaching destruction. But they do have dreams of what they would do when they are out, Anne wants to have a home of her own, move about freely and go back to school.  She had complains about almost every one, including her mother, and then realise it is because of her mood that kept her head under water and allowed her to see things only from her perspective. without calmly considering  the others. Going underground or into hiding has become a routine, with many resistance groups providing with forged identity cards, financial support, organizing hiding places and finding work to those going underground. It's amazing how much generous and unselfish people do, risking their own lives to help and save others. Germany was ready to flood the country if needed to defend herself from Britain. Sunshine and cloudless sky makes her feel happy, and she feels that nature can bring comfort to all who suffer, unlike her mother, who thinks about those who suffer more than them. She things that if we become part of suffering, we will be completely lost. Beauty remains even in misfortune. If you look for it, you can find happiness and regain balance. Optimists and pessimists - not to mention the realists - air their opinions with unflagging energy, and as with everything else, they're all certain that they have a monopoly on the truth. Everyone has to decide for himself how to get the better of his own mood! Everyday you hear 'If only it were all over', and she writes:

                    Work, love, courage and hope,

                    Make me good and help me cope!

Sometimes she wish they would not be in hiding and be dead. Nothing is more crushing than the anxiety. so they preferred to see the end, however cruel, which would help them to know if they would be victors or the vanquished. They had to be brave to endure the many fears and hardships and the sufferings yet to come. She feels the sufferings of the millions, and yet the sky, make her feel that everything will change for better, cruelty too will end, and peace and tranquility will return once more. 

She feels that she is "A bundle of contradictions" - with two self - one known to the outside, one that is inside. 

She wanted to be useful and bring enjoyment to all people, even those she has never met, and go on leaving even after her death and was grateful for her gift of writing, that enabled her to express what was inside her. Though she was no more, her father did fulfil this wish of hers. 

Take care. Auf wiederhoren - Until we speak again. 

 

River, Cross My Heart - Breena Clarke

Breena Clarke in this compelling novel 'River, Cross My Heart' writes about a 12 year old Johnnie Mae's who lives in Washington DC in the twenties.

 Her younger sister Clara Bynum  was drowned in the Potomac river when she was six years old and under the care of Johnnie Mae's. The effect of her death on Alice and Willie Bynum, their parents, is what the novel is all about. It is torn in between their old world of rural North Carolina and the new world at Georgetown.

Folks always say, "You come in this word alone, and you must leave it alone". They ought to know better. Because it isn't so. - Reminds me of my conversation with my father. 

 It's not that way at all. The child comes to life very much attached and stays attached and is mired all its life in a soup of relationships. This child struggles to be born. It comes out pushing and pulling with the cord attached and still holding on way up. The child has to pull and push and make a place for itself in and among all the people that are already here. 

To Willie, Clara was like his dead sister Merle. Losing a loved one, a family member, is like losing a tooth. After a while, those teeth remaining shift and lean and spread out to split the distance between themselves and the other teeth still left, trying to close up spaces. In this way, Johnnie Mae, her mama and papa and her aunt Ina shifted themselves to  close the space created by Clara's absence. So do we, This was 39 of 2020.

Burial Rites - Hannah Kent

Hannah Kent  born in Adelaide in 1985, traveled to Iceland on a Rotary Exchange programme, where she first heard the story of Agnes Magnusdottir, which inspired her to write Burial rites, which won many awards. 

Landscape is beautiful, there is lot of pain, derived out of loneliness and poverty, the prose is catching, and the plot is a little different, set a couple of centuries before, where Agnes Magnusdottir and Fridrik Sigurdsson  were hanged to death in 1828 for killing Natan Ketilsson. Icelanders traditionally have  patronymic naming system, whereby a child's last name is derived from fathers first name, with affication of  - son or  -dottir. Agnes was the last person to be publicly beheaded in Iceland, and Burial Rites is the fictionalised account of her story. The story revolves around the three culprits who were charged with the crime, and in flash back, on their lives and what lead to it. 

Like a woman, the Sea is a nag. - Nathan had said. 

Agnes is sent to wait out her final months on the farm of distict officer Jon Jonsson, his wife and their two daughters who are horrifed to have a convicted murderer in their midst. Toti an young assistant priest is appointed as her guardian, who is compelled to understand her. As the year progresses, Agnes's story begin to emerge, and the family start to realise that all is not as they had assumed. 

“To know what a person has done, and to know who a person is, are very different things.”

Agnes being left behind as a young child with a stone in her mouth, to her foster mother's death in the same farm that she is in now, to her walking all the way to be with Nathan, and finally the events that leads to his death, are so lyrically written, with insight to some handy home made medicines, and farm tricks, which show how much of experience Agnes had. 

'I was worst to the one I loved best' - Laxdala Saga ; The book is indeed a combination of Fire and Ice and was 38th of 2020. 

Sushant why Suicide?

Every person has a secret  sorrow that the world does'nt know. We can only speculate ... God only knows what was going on in his mind. How do they get the courage to hang themselves? It would be easier to solve the problem? 

Bollywood is just a place to make money..No one cares. From our days, Divya Bharathi Sridevi.. definitely there is something.  And then Nafisa Joseph, Jiah khan, .. list is long.

How do they get the guts to hang themselves. This guy could have helped himself. It just takes one moment to end life. What could have been the reason that he couldn't handle?

Could have never imagined Sushanth committing suicide. Though many in this field have done so many times..He had film to be released..another one going to happen. He had plans to do something in the field of education for kids, a rumoured girlfriend also.. hard to believe why he thought life is worthless. Things will never come out. Right from Divya Bharti..Marriage was fixed for November. We dont know. Only speculating what could have been the reason.

"Dear Sushant, there was so much more you had to offer. Perhaps the world was not up to your beliefs.. you should not have gone like this ...but then you were an old wise soul in a restless young body. Often the heavens cannot handle that ..Naming few people has no value. They themselves are products and victims of a ‘system’ everyone is protesting against. If you really care, if you’re really angry, then bring down the system. Not the individual. That’s guerilla warfare. Not a spurt of anger."
#SushantSinghRajput

What I understood from the articles and videos I saw is he has signed 7 films but all of a sudden 6 films were taken away from him ..nobody in film industry has been recognizing the work he did.. I have seen Dhoni and after watching that movie whenever anyone takes name of Dhoni , shushant face I remember and not Dhoni ..But he was not given any recognition ..He was boycotted from everywhere..

I have only to say it take lot of guts to suicide but it’s easy to end all problems..But just think of the family they leave behind ..the pain ..the unanswered question ..He should have been alive to see how much the world loves him .. He should have moved on if film was not accepting him ..
Unfortunately during these times not all of us reach out.  Not everyone wants to talk or share. They start believing nothing can save them . Sushant couldn't have been that weak. In one of the video he himself said once .. that 'if I dont get movies, I will do a play. Or I will cast myself and make a movie.' Kangana lashed out to the Bollywood for this. If this was the case.. Wasn't there an option?? But then u never know the real story. His father has asked the probe to go on, he don't think it's a suicide. His house rent was above 40 lakhs. Their lifestyle is another burden have to say.

Depression is complicated. It is the result of complex interaction of reasons.There is biology,initial upbringing ,d  relationship with parents ,the consequences of choices ,d consequences of relationships and the ability to handle inevitable betrayals.

Somewhere I can understand..when one loves something so much it is very difficult to leave it ..how much ever we say we can live without it ..He left everything,only to be part of films ..
And he didn’t get the recognition even after performing so well. But he was still getting films. Many not Dharma or YRF.. but he was doing pretty well. Bollywood has seen so many actors and actress vanishing right? And so many of them are still surviving. Neena gupta had to plead for work ...

He missed a strong support - Mother! 

Youngest of five siblings, with four elder sisters. His family wanted him to be an engineer, when he was just two semister away, he left Delhi and came to Mumbai, to pursue a career in Acting.  He was back end dancer for many film stars. 

Back in 2016, Sushant shared an Interesting Talk with a group of guys from IIT Mumbai - Lie and Truth about success.

Lie - Money + Recognition = Happiness = Success

He was Driven, Self Respect was at stake.  Seemingly big things, were not really big once you get them. Smaller things were bigger. Was missing 'Now'. Frequently swinging from past to future. While performing, was in the moment. 

Only Truth:  Now + Excitment = Happiness 

Cause and effect are not different. 

All success mantras are the side effects of the process itself. And Suicide or murder?

Respect - Stop Bullying - In every walk of life.

The Folded Earth - Anuradha Roy

After the death of Michael on one of his mountaineering expedition, Maya abandons their Hyderabad home and the Deccan to move to Ranikhet, in Himalayas. Maya's father wanted her to be an industrialist and had not approved of her relationship with Michael, so she had left her house with her mother's blessings. 

At Ranikhet she is a tenant at Diwan Sahebs home, where she also meets Charu her grandmother called Ama, and Diwans main visitor Veer. Maya takes up a job in a pickle factory along with her job at school. When there she gets to know that her mother passed away, She keeps dreaming about water body with skillsk in it.  Charu leaves the house and Diwan Saheb dies. That is the first death Maya witnesses and soon after the truth of Veer is unfolded. 

Twice Maya mentions what it would be like if she was inside out. Once it's flood and drought, and then it's Frost and hailstone.

saudade

/saʊˈdɑːdə/

noun

(especially with reference to songs or poetry) a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia that is supposedly characteristic of the Portuguese or Brazilian temperament.

For some it is the mountains, For some the waves, For some the sand dunes.

They all move up and down. Like Life!

May be that is why people are fascinated about one or all of them, reminding them of life's reality? These thoughts lead me to 37 of 2020, The Folded Earth by Anuradha Roy.

7 Mantras for Success - Pattabhiram

Due to the critical situation we go through because of sudden covid situation we all have moved to the Digital platform.  

P.C. https://www.marksdailyapple.com/7-primal-mantras-to-drive-your-success/

Mantra 1: Goals

Story - An young professor asked a class of 300, how many had written down their goals in life - written down in their own handwriting? Just 3% i.e. 9 people had put up their hands. This was in one of the best known university. 30 years later, there is a reunion of the class of 1963 - The professor ask them what is their respective net worth? The individual net worth of the 9 individuals where more than the 291 others, and all others were outstanding achievers. If there is nothing you pick up this evening, write down your goals. 

Mantra 2: Yes We Can

It was Barack Obama who said this. Breath Positivity. If you think you have to be extraordinary intelligent you are wrong. Example Albert Einstein was taken out of school, and tutored by his mother, as teacher thought him to be stupid and he gave the formula E= MC2. Ramanujan failed the Entrance exam to Madras university. Henry Ford, when he made the first car forgot it should have reverse gear. Bill Gates, was Harvard drop out. Dherubhai Ambani was a petrol pump attended. What you lose out in intelligence you can always make up with hard work. 

Pete Sampras, who held the record of highest number of grand slams, once after winning, when he was interviewed by a journalist, who asked, what do you do after you play tennis? Sampras said, after I play tennis, I play tennis. Asked again what do you do after you play tennis? Sampras said, after I play tennis, I play tennis. 

Nowhere other than dictionary success precede work. Work, toil upward in the night. 

Date is 12th March 2006; Venue: New Wanderers Stadium Johannesberg, Magical number of 434 - Australia had scored against South Africa. The game was already lost. Story going around is that South Africa's young captain said, it's easy, just score 4 runs more than Australia. 

Power of positivity, ability to put in hardwork, and luck. 

Mantra 3: Power of Process

Three quick activities to understand how process is powerful:

1) Take a paper and pen - Think of a number under 10 (0 to 9); multiply the number by 2, to the result add 8; divide the number by 2; from this number subtract the original number you thought. Find out the equivalent english alphabet. eg. 3-C; Now think of a European country, that begins with this letter. Think of an animal, whose name starts with the last alphabet of the name of the country. Pick up the last letter of the animal, and think of a fruit. How many of you are thinking of Denmark/Kangaroo/Orange.  Its because, the process was so laid out, people would come with this answer. 98% will have the same reason. This is why , we need to have step by step process, or have check list. If you feed the right raw material, you will have right finished product.

2) When there are jumbled numbers, it is difficult to identify, but if we arrange them in some systematic manner or in quadrants, we will be able to find them. First it was a maze of numbers, then there was a method in the madness. Break things into small parts, and you will be able to master it. This is the power of the process.

3) Read what is in front of you.

This message, serves to prove, how our minds can do amazing things, impressive things, In the beginning it was hard, but your mind is reading it automatically, Be proud , only certain people can read this. 

Don't give up when you see struggle. When you battle it, you will win. 

It is important to have a process, break it, and not give up. 

Mantra 4: Preparation/Training

1) Before - Understand  

2) During - Participate, Take notes, Ask Questions  - Example Story - Accountants know what you do is right or wrong. Rules of science are copied from rules of accounting, Newtons third law of motion discovered in 19th century - to every action there is equal and opposite reaction, 15th century Luca Pacioli laid down that every debit has a credit. So it was cut, copy, paste. Why liabilities always appear on the left and assets on the right? No body  knew the answer, but only one person asked. One teacher said - Young man, go home today, take a look at the wedding photograph and you will know. The boy said, it is good to ask a question, and be counted as a fool for 5 second, than to never ask the question, never know the answer, and be counted as a fool forever.  Where you have doubt, ask question and have the query clarified. 

3) After - Revise - you tend to remember more.  

It is important how you conduct yourself, it is important to have a good atmosphere. When you have deadline to meet, go underground, forget everything around. Put a timetable and execute it. 

Mantra 5: Manage time

Resource available at finite quantity to all of us. Understand, appreciate and follow remember:

1) have uncluttered desk

2) have a to do list with 4-5 items; and be happy ticking them off, and not a long one

3) get out of and throw aside the smart phone - after distraction, to come back it takes 7 minutes to get back to work. 

4) In the To Do list - First eat the frog. The day ahead will be smooth. Finish off the most tough task first. Do not procrastinate. 

5) have all the crucial documents, with you, and read what is important. Don't postponed your things. 

Mantra 6: Crucial Event

Delivery of the BAU is crucial, if it is Month End, and you are assigned a BAU, its a match, you owe it to you to do well. 

1)Stick to notes. Relax, get sufficient sleep before

3) Do not panic. Do not Fret. Do not bluff. Don't get excited. Stay till end and  Move on

4) Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. Ask, discuss, Inform.

5) Don't leave till the end.

Mantra 7: Wholesomeness

Life is a lot more. There are three important things to move up and move on. 

1) Faith - When you go to pray for rain, you need to take umbrella. Only one man did.

2) Trust - A child being thrown up by father smile, because the child knows/trust that father will hold

3) Hope - We set alarm for every morning, with the hope we will wake up. 

A story, of a young boy 9 year old selling newspapers, was extremely hungry. Knocked the door of a house, thought a known old lady would open the door, but an young girl opened, and he was unable to say he was hungry. But the girl felt he was hungry and gave him a big glass of milk. Few years later, there is a lady admitted in a hospital, on whom only one doctor could do surgery and save her. The doctor when consulted, asked about the patient. Doctor said the invoice be send to him. When the bill got into her end, it read, paid in full by a glass of milk. Dr. Howard Kelley.

One attribute you should never never ever forget, is the attribute of gratitude. 

5 stages of grief - Kubler-Ross model Courtesy Sreejith Krishnan

The 5 stages of grief are captured in the Kubler-Ross model. Denial-Anger-Depression-Bargaining-Acceptance.

These 5 stages apply to all the negative events in our lives. Imagine you drive to work every day. As you try to switch on the car, you realise the battery is down.

You try to start again and again - you deny that it do not start.

You get angry and hit at the car and ask why it happened

You bargain saying, this one time you start and going forward you will maintain the car well.

You get depressed and start worrying about  how you could manage the days ahead

You accept the fact, that the car would not start, inform office you may be late, take a cab and go.

The best thing is to move from stage 1 to last stage as soon as possible. Accept the fact and take positive action as soon as possible.

https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html - Picture courtesy. 

The fear we had when the Covid was 100 is not there when it is 2,00,000. This is because we have accepted it now, and gone through the five stages. 

Denial - we refused to believe such a thing will happen, to us. We justify that it will not effect hot region.

Anger - due to loss of daily routine.

Bargaining - why lock down, we will take care, 

Depression - from mild to clinical depending on our mental fitness.

Acceptance -

The degree and intensity vary from person to person. Some people stick to one phase. Example Trump is still in denial stage.

Resilience is the ability to fight back. Make peace with it. Change is the truth of life. Don't close the book , just turn the page. 

Sreejithkrishnan G # Wisdom shots. 

The Incredible Banker - Ravi Subramanian

' The future Can only be seen in fiction', what better time than these when the words on back cover page of the book resonate? The incredible banker by Ravi Subramanian was 36 of 2020.

A person can be any person, many persons.  At times we fail to see the real person. Howsoever smart one feels himself to be. This could be the result of a highly competitive job with cut throat competition among teams and members; need to prove oneself; blind faith/love; lack of integrity or just an oversight. 

It's interesting to read how these would become a serious threat to self, organisation and country with various acts and players involved including the Naxals and Government.

An interesting, gripping and quick read.

Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

Journey to death, in the 'End of your life book club'; and being a Tuesday, made me pick this book up again, a memoir conversation between Mitch Albom, and his college professor  Morrie Schwartz; will mark this as 35th of 2020.

Though promised to be in touch, as always happen in life, Mitch got busy making his career as a Journalist, and lost in touch with his professor after his graduation in 1979 , untill he happen to view his interview in 'Nightline' on TV titled  'A professor's final course: His own death'. He was at the fag end of his life, suffering from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) who eventually dies in the November of 1995 and the book is published in 1997.

When they first met after almost 18 years, Morrie told him " The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't but it." Then they decide to meet on Tuesdays, with a theme for every tuesday:

First was World - The key to finding meaning in life is to stop taking out the garbage. The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. 

Second it was feeling sorry for self. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too- even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling. If you feel sad and sorry about something, cry and let it go, if need be. But then don't allow much self pity. Think of the positive things.

Third was Regrets. Our culture doesn't encourage to think about things. We're wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - we're involved in trillion of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying. Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? You need someone to probe you in that direction.

Fourth was death. Seventy years ago professors mother passed away, but he still felt the pain. Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Otherwise most of us are sleepwalking. 

Fifth was Family. There is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today, it it is'nt for family. They are more important than money and fame. 

Sixth emotions. Detach from experience. It means you let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. This apply to any emotion. 

Seventh Aging. As you grow, you learn more. 

Eighth Money What we need is different from what we want, and there is a big confusion about this. What actually gives you satisfaction is offering to others what you have to give. Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.  

Ninth Love. It is good to have your loved ones around when you die, and only they need to be there. With our smile, we need to make people feel unique.  Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own. 

Tenth Marriage. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't. Few rules about love and marriage are: if you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike. Marriage is an important thing to do. 

Eleventh Culture. Morrie believed in the inherent good of people, but he also saw what they could become. People are only mean when they're threatened and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even when people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of culture. Every society has it's own problem, we should not run away, but create our own culture. We do not see ourselves alike when alive. We all have the same beginning- birth- and same end - death. Invest in human family. Invest in people. Build little community of those you love and who love you. Be compassionate. Take responsibility for each other. Love each other or die. The world would be a better place. 

Twelfth Forgiveness . We need to forgive others and ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. 

Thirteenth Perfect day. Make peace with living. A simple day. Death ends a life not a relationship. Love, responsibility, spirituality, awareness are important questions in life. Relationships are important and there is no formula to it. They have to be negotiated in loving ways., with room for both parties, on what they want, need, can do and life is like.

Fourteenth Good-Bye: Teacher till the last. Morrie's ashes were placed on the ground and it was a Tuesday. Mitch talked, Morrie listened henceforth?

A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.  Morrie amidst his conversation with Mitch do tell him, if he had another son he would like Mitch to be one. 

The End of your life book club - Will Schwalbe

Two member Book club with mother- son; being the members gave them a welter of great books to read - book to savor and ponder, to enjoy, and to help Mary Ann(e) on her journey towards death and Will Schwalbe on his journey to life without Mom. Was planning to read a Fiction, and never realised untill half way through that it was Non-Fiction. A weekend well spend, understanding various books, relations and life's journey covering places, reading, work, family, God, prayer - when outside travels are restricted. ' The end of your life book club' a brave and soulful elegy to his mother by Will Schwalbe was 34th of 2020; and reminded me of my interactions with father, when he was going through his chemo. Mary and Me share the same birthday.  Of her two favourite books, Marjorie Morning Star and Gone with the wind; one is my favourite too, yet to read the other.

Reflections from the book:

 "We all have a lot more to read than we can read and a lot more to do than we can do. Reading isn't the opposite of doing, it's the opposite of dying. People we love stay with us even after they are gone, as our favorite books, stay with us, for our entire life. Reverence for books is what we all have in common - Every religion. From the Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett "Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting; Books are not about passing the time. They're about other lives. Other worlds. The appeal of reading lay in its indifference. There was something undeferring about literature. Books did not care who was reading them or whether one read them or not. All readers were equal." Reading helps to recognize cruelty, death, pain. So read. 

Permanent is not; impermanent is not; a self is not; not a self (is not) ; clean is not; not clean is not; happy is not; suffering is not. - Seventy verses of Emptiness.

From Etiquette of Illness - 1) Ask 'Do you want to talk about how you're feeling? 2) Don't ask if there's anything you can do. Suggest things, or if it's not intrusive, just do them.  3) You don't have to talk all the time. Sometimes just being there is enough. 

When you couldn't decide between two things, choose the one that allows you to change course if necessary. Not the road less travelled, but the road with the exit ramp. If you went places, you could always come back, but if you stayed at home, you might not get the opportunity to go to places. 

From Daily Strength for Daily Needs - "It is not by regretting what is irreparable that true work is to be done, but by making the best of what we are. It is not by complaining that we have not the right tools, but by using well the tools we have. What we are, and where we are, is God's providential arrangement, - God's doing, though it may be man's misdoing; and the manly and the wise way is to look your disadvantages in the face, and see what can be made out of them" - F.W. Robertson

Just imagine you are awakened tonight by someone in your family who says to you, 'Put the things you treasure most in one small bag that you can carry and be ready in few minutes, we have to leave our home to the nearest border, never to come back again?' How would you feel? How would you manage? 

There were many Writer who had changed the course of Mom Mary's life, but one name that topped the list was Sindy Cheung and the poem 'I am sorrow' -

Who will listen to my feeling?

Who will listen to my useless land?

After the war, my skin had been damaged, 

There are craters in my body.

Although I was sad, sorry and suffering,

Who will listen to my feeling?

 I was sad, sorry and suffering,

Who will know my feeling?

I am not sad about my harmed body,

I am sorrow because of the people who can't use me rightly,

Who will know my feeling?

" Whatever beings there are, may they be free from suffering. Whatever beings there are, may they be free from enmity. Whatever beings there are, may they be free from hurtfulness. Whatever beings there are, may they be free from I'll health. Whatever beings there are, may they be able to protect their own happiness".

A prayer from " The Lizard Cage" by Karen Connelly

Evil starts with small cruelties. People who promise things, that they never give are like clouds and wind that bring no rain: do not be mislead by promises. You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. Do what needs to be done. Use emotions to concentrate. Loneliness is the price we have to pay for being born in the modern world, so full of freedom, independence and our own egotistical selves. We owe everyone for everything. Give friendship and love. Grief when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be. Death of loved ones, will bring sadness, loneliness, regret for time gone by, for things unsaid, for inability to share or even in any real way to acknowledge, at the end, the pain and helplessness and physical humiliation of the departed. 

The bite of the Mango was very touching. by Mariatu Kamara, recipient of Voices of Courage award, who had come to speak for Women's Refugee commission; she had no hands. Born in Sierra Leone at the age of 12 rebels her age set houses on fire, murdered people, and finally cut her hands - so she would not vote! They spoke the same language, and could have been friends, but inspite of repeated request they did not refrain from chopping off her arms. After walking all through the night, she came across a man who was willing to help her, and feed her a mango, but she did not want to be fed by him, she managed to take a few bites of the fruit by cradling it in her injured arms.

We are all in the end-of-our-life book club, whether we acknowledge it or not; each book we read may well be the last, each conversation the final one. Keep smiling. You might not be able to make things, but enjoy them. Tell your family everyday, that you love them. And make sure they know that you're proud of them too. 

The Kerala Elephant's Death & We Beings

The killing of a 15 year old elephant had triggered not just country wide, but world wide protest after a Facebook post by a forest officer Mohan Krishnan who witnessed her death, wrote a sad post in Facebook. Many across the world joined to condemn the action, which indeed was unfortunate. The elephant had wandered off from Silent Valley National Park in the Mannarkkad region of Palakkad district. Palakkad and Malappuram districts share a long border, dotted with villages all along. The elephant was found near the Thiruvizhiamkunnu forest station, which falls under Mannarkkad forest division. This is geographically located in Palakkad district.  Initial reports suggested that the elephant died after eating a pineapple stuffed with crackers but the latest post-mortem report said it was a coconut and that her wounds were two-week-old. By the time the elephant died, all that remained of her body was a skeleton, and during the autopsy, it was found to be pregnant.

Some tried to give a communal twist to this among others the hypocrisy and devious intentions of Mrs. Maneka can't be overlooked. She made baseless allegations, intended to misguide and defame certain sections of people and politicize the situation claiming it to be from Muslim-majority Malappuram district. 

Death of the Elephant was cruel and sad; but it did not happen in Malappuram and the elephant was not fed. It had eaten the food kept to scare away wild bores. This is an atrocity, which has been a bad Practice being followed since long. My gut feeling is this news is being highlighted in a fabricated manner at this juncture when there are so many things happening around, because there is something happening behind the scenes, which has to be hidden. That indeed is the murder. What could that be? Increasing Covid Count, Decreasing GDP numbers, Increasing Chinese incursions into India,, Reducing environment and forest cover,,Increasing death count on Shramik Trains, Reducing employment opportunities, Increasing Poverty and crime,, Reducing interest rates on deposits, Increasing NPAs of Banks, Reducing SSIs and MSMEs, the ending of Manu Sharma’s life term murderer of Jessica Lall after 17 yrs.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158182204931138&id=551396137 - This reads as below:

"Posted by Harishvara Venkat: Yesterday at 12:24 · 

Long post alert about the #ElephantStory

1. People did not "Feed" the Elephant with cracker stuffed Pineapple.

2. The Elephant ate the pineapple that was kept as a bait to kill Wild Boards.

3. 1000s of Wild boars are killed every year in a similar fashion.

4. Some don't even die immediately, they suffer for a few days without a face or mouth to eat. I have personally seen wild boars with jaw missing.

5. Wild Boar lives matter too.

6. It didn't happen in Malappuram.

7. Where did religion come into this picture.

8. Black Lives matter, but before that, stand up for your own country and your own people first.

9. Try to understand the crux of the problem and then provide a solution if you can. .

10. Change.org doesn't change anything!

11. The Government destroys more forests and animal lives more than anyone else in this country in the name of clearances for "development" aka, an opportunity to swindle fortunes.

12. During the COVID 19 lockdown, more than 2 dozen clearances in more than 10 States were issued by the Ministry of Environment in India.

13. This means, more and more elephants will be driven out of their homes, more wild boars will roam facelessly, more tigers will be caught in the snare and more leopards will be pelted with stones until they die.

14. IF you fight for the right reason, with the right understanding of an issue, this can be avoided.

15. As we speak, #DibangValley in #ArunachalPradesh is going to lose more than 3,00,000 trees to a useless dam project approved by the Ministry of Environment WITHOUT PROPER research.

16. If you save the forest, you will in turn reduce the number of human-animal conflicts and you have been indirectly saving elephants from dying.

17. Spare a thought for a poor farmer, who has been living off a small piece of land, cultivating small amounts of crops to feed his family.

18. What will he do when the crops are damaged by wild animals? Who will feed his family?

19. He will approach the forest department who is not empowered to help them.

20. After umpteen requests and eternally going hungry, he will retort to such malpractices to protect the crops and feed his family because, in his eyes, he'd rather lose a wild boar that's not his, than to see his kid starve.

What is the Solution?

There is no permanent solution. But the good news is, you can mitigate the problem.

1. The Government needs to step up. I am not talking about this party or that party or thaaat party. Anyone who wants to make this political or religious, I warn you! Stay away.

2. Take care of the farmers' needs.

3. Introduce insurance plans and compensation plans for farmers that lose the crop due to famine or wildlife.

4. Employ more people to go do the fieldwork and follow up on this issue and compensate farmers rightfully.

5. Employ more people at the understaffed Forest Departments to monitor wildlife movement.

6. Employ "Passionate Experts" who can advise and treat every situation and incident as an individual case scenario than bring in blanket rules which have no use at all.

7. Create an ecosystem that includes responsible tourism and get the future generation to protect our Natural History.

8. Instead of saving animals, save the forests. Save the land! The animals will take care of themselves. They have been doing that for millions of years.

9. Stop spreading hate.

10. Peace out!"

Tired and ashamed of all who bring religion and politics into everything. All these are basics of Humanity. When that is lost, there is no hope. Only hatred, darkness and blame games. Ridiculous. Even during these times. May truth and peace prevail. 

The Beings..'- Good to see the anger and feelings of a lot of celebrities ( as they are called ) to the business tycoons on the suffering of a fellow animal being ..every single 'being' matters. Hoping for the same Empathy or Courage of the same people and many many more ( don't know who needs what ) when a fellow human being is lynched, brutally murdered, dies due to religious riots or hunger, commits suicide on petty loans or suffers while walking hundreds of kilometres etc..etc.. am sure then this nation will become a much better, more loving nation respecting all the 'beings' !! - Anshu Gupta - So well said. 

George Floyd & Diversity and Inclusion

George Floyd, 46, died after Derek Chauvin, a policeman, knelt on his neck for nearly nine minutes on May 25, Policeman was insane, His wife divorced him for that. Problem is people labelled them as black and white; one thing led to the other, bringing about a great unrest first in US, which has now spread across the world. 

There is this forward that is going around. 

The death by itself had created unrest, which intensified by the misinterpretation of the tweet by Trump:

Donald J. Trump

✔@realDonaldTrump

 · May 29, 2020

I can’t stand back & watch this happen to a great American City, Minneapolis. A total lack of leadership. Either the very weak Radical Left Mayor, Jacob Frey, get his act together and bring the City under control, or I will send in the National Guard & get the job done right.....

Donald J. Trump

✔@realDonaldTrump

....These THUGS are dishonoring the memory of George Floyd, and I won’t let that happen. Just spoke to Governor Tim Walz and told him that the Military is with him all the way. Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts. Thank you!

'I can't breaths' became a rallying cry among protesters. There are some silent spectators benefiting out of it, and those fighting are losing, time, energy and money.  Why do people do this, even during these times of social distancing? Don't people understand that people coming out in such large number, will increase the spread of the Pandamic?  Irrespective Floyd's case was taking seriously, and this spread across the globe. 

Who does America belong to? I just read a post by a "White American" friend about Black Americans, Asian Americans, Latin Americans and the real Americans...the whites. But is it? What happened to the Red Indians, the real true blood Americans? The original owners of the land? The Cherokees, the Apaches, the Iroquois and the rest are never heard of these days. Whites, Blacks, Yellows, Browns, Coloreds all fight it out for supremacy but where are the REDS? Shoved to some remote corners, fed with intoxicants and drugs, their culture almost dead. Yet those lovely names persist Mississippi, Winnipeg, Dakota, Idaho, Iowa, Missouri reminding us of the days of yore, when the mighty REDS, the chieftains , ruled the place with their tepees and totem poles and tomohawks. Where are they now? Aren't they the true Americans? The Native Americans? And here we have the Blacks and Whites and Racism. Is'nt the situation similar in many countries like Australian Aborigines, The New Zealand Maories, Tibetans in China. 

Seems the History is lost somewhere, in the race. Lessons of Life : We build walls to protect a house we call home. We build walls between people and us to protect our vulnerabilities. We build walls behind which we hide from ourselves. So afraid are we of ourselves. Caged behind so many walls, do we know who we are anymore? - Shekhar Kapur.

A flash back into few years before - on 17th January 2016, Rohith Vemula hanged himself to death in Hyderabad. But this soon faded away. Reason? The focus was not on the issue, politicking was the priority.  There was no sympathy towards the oppressed. We just focus on the current case, and don't look at the trend. 

The lack of diversity, in the Indian news room is an old problem. Most of the time, the perpetrator of the crime belongs to the same caste of the reporter or the anchor. The media needs to be fair and free, uninfluenced by corporate and government interest. 

People all over are now talking about Racial tolerance and diversity & Inclusion; which is not just about demographics and events, it's about diversity of thoughts, ideas and experience. We need to work towards eliminating bias, be a part of key events, specific to the region and bring about a positive change in behaviour and culture. When we say positive change, it should be one of tolerance, equality and  justice.

“Accepting people as they are, for what they are; adding variety of thoughts and deeds with tolerance and justice. “ is what diversity and inclusion mean to me.  And this is how we end the month:

Katha - Short Stories by Indian Women

Edited by Urvashi Butalia, Katha  is a collection of 17 Short Stories by Indian Women across India, from different age group, and different regions, covering varied aspects was 33rd of 2020. Some very nostalgic, some that would bring tears in our eyes, most of it, with so much of pain, that you can feel it. 

First story, on 'How Kava Deceived Kavi and defeated her', by Marija Sres, says women like receiving gift, but with it, they often lose their freedom.' Rudali' by Mahasweta Devi was nostalgic for couple of reasons - The story and The writer. In comparison to the movie, there was some differences. Here Bikhni is Sanichari are childhood playmates, while if I remember right, in the movie, in the end, it is said, that she was her mother. It reflects on the fact that ageing means growing old, means not being able to work, that in turn means death. Poor don't understand right or wrong they understand hunger better. The part on poverty has been the underpin of couple of stories including 'Lotus' by Aishwarya Subramaniam. 'A movement, A folder, Some tears'  and 'Nightmare', throws light on how India has changed over the years - and her view on religion and people. With evolving time, even kids are becoming intolerant, and hatred is the game they play even with dolls mutilating them for being from different religious group. With it, we find changes in people as well. Let us not be trapped by symbols of religion or a nation. Just because we have similar bodies does not mean we should have similar thoughts. Sisterhood, love humility is needed, Some women opt out, others become isolated. Private firms are not women's organisation,we do not get leave for periods, headaches, feasts or fasts. 'Story of a poem'  by Chandrika B, is interesting on how a woman writes a poem in course of her daily routine, after her husband and children leave to work and school, and tears it away, before they are back home. 'Cast-offs' by Wajida Tabasum is an interesting read of a kid who never liked getting cast off cloths from the employers family, and how she takes revenge as a grown up. 'Teaser' by Manjula Padmanabhan, is a typical bus poovalan story, 'Mayadevi's London Yathra'  is encouraging, and reminded me of my Mother's American Yathra; so also 'March, Ma and Sakura'.

Then there is 'The Wife' by Vandana Singh about unsuccessful marriage, 'Mother' by Urmila Pawar, of single mother who is forced to return to her village after her husband's death, but is determined to stay back for her children.' A large girl', about two school friends, 'The Thief' about the house help, 'Spartacus and the Dancing Man' & 'The Giantess'

It's an easy and good read, for anyone but especially for ladies with lessons and insight.