CUP to College and 5C's

College is no school. This is where dreams are dreamt, destiny is decided, and you take your first halting steps on the path to glory. 

From college, you begin your journey of life. New duties, new responsibilities, and new plans await you. Be ready and eager to learn. There will be joys and sorrows, peaks and troughs. There are certain principles to be followed for success in life, and you should be ready to work on them. 

It's not going to be easy, but we were not born to do easy things. 

Take it up with courage and confidence. You must be enthusiastic, cheerful, and consistent. Always remember these five 'C's: 

1. Character 

2. Cheerfulness 

3. Courage 

4. Calmness 

5. Conviction. 

1. Character: Develop humility, integrity, and magnanimity. Wealth, influence, position, and power are of no value without character. 

Grandeur of character is moral principle in practice – Grenville Kleiser

There is one person who was an epitome of all these 5 traits, and we called him Mahatma Gandhi – Father of our Nation. 

2. Cheerfulness: Cheerfulness cost nothing, yet it is beyond price. The great young men of today, the leaders of tomorrow, are those who can blend cheerfulness with their brain. 

When Pyrrhus (318 -272 BC) was about to sail for Italy, Cineas, a wise and good man, asked him what his intentions and expectations were. 

‘To conquer Rome’, said Pyrrhus.

‘And after that?’

‘We will subdue Carthage, Macedonia, all Africa, and all Greece.’

‘And when we have conquered all we can, what shall we do?’

‘Do? Why, then we will sit down and spend our time in peace and comfort.’

‘Ah, my Lord’, said the wise Cineas, ‘what prevents our being in peace and comfort now?’

3. Courage: Courage is the ‘strength’ to bear joy and sorrows, to make love fruitful in service,  never to disown the poor or bend knees before insolent might, to raise mind high above daily trifles and to surrender strength to the will of almighty. 

Somebody did a golden deed,

Somebody proved a friend in need,

Somebody sang a beautiful song,

Somebody smiled the whole day long,

Somebody fought in a valiant fight,

Somebody lived to shield the right –

Was that somebody, YOU?

4. Calmness: The biggest problem of these trying in-between years is impatience. You’re far from being a child, but, on the other hand, you’re not ready to accept all the considerable responsibilities of being an adult either. You may want to rush, but may not succeed, and may jeopardize your chances for a wonderful tomorrow.

Consider the turtle – he doesn’t make any progress unless he sticks his neck out. 

5. Conviction: It is a strong persuasion or belief. Believe in yourself, and in the strength you have to shape your destiny, for nothing is impossible for a willing heart. 

There are many leaders who have shown these traits, as one cannot lead or succeed without conviction, but the example that is outset in the mind are the values of Truth and Non-violence that Gandhiji believed in. 

College life will provide you with many new teachings. Grab them with your hands.

Courage and Confidence are the most important traits to be a leader, without which no other trait would be useful.

And As you learn remember the CUP. Concentrate -) Understand -) Practice and you will succeed.

This Blistering Perfect terrible world

Blistering perfect terrible - Trio says it all. Today Annie Siva reminded me of the lines. This was in between two deaths because of the demand for dowry camouflaged as expected gift .

Anie Siva never thought she would become a police officer when she sold lemonade and ice creams to tourists at Varkala Sivagiri ashram ten years ago. 31-year-old Anie joined as a probationary sub-inspector at Varkala police station on June 25. Though she joined the police service as a civil officer in 2016, she sees this new responsibility of a sub-inspector as a tremendous achievement. She said "today I am the Sub-Inspector of Police at the same place where I lived ten years ago selling ice cream and lemonade for the Varkala Sivagiri pilgrimage. How can I avenge yesterdays bigger than this," she wrote on Facebook. Her post has already been shared by many on social media platforms and has gone viral. Raising a kid on her own, Annie recalled how her 'life-partner' left her when she was just 19. She added that she couldn't go back to her family as they were against her marrying at the age of 18. She had a six month old baby when she returned home and was asked to live in a temporary shed near her grandmother's house. Shifting from one place to another with her son Shivasurya, Anie changed her life for good. "I started selling curry powder and soap first. Later, I became an insurance agent. Then I used to deliver essential items to people at their homes by travelling on a motorcycle and I got the money to complete my degree in Sociology", Anie added. In 2014, she joined a training center in Thiruvananthapuram to write the exam for sub-inspector post and for woman police post. After completing three years as a woman police officer, she wrote the SI selection test in 2019 and got selected. After training for nearly one and half years, she joined as a trainee sub-inspector. She took to social media and announced "It was an achievement indeed".

Some say, for survival, she had to dress like a man. This reminded me of the movieRasatantram. written and directed by Sathyan Anthikkad and starring Mohanlal and Meera Jasmine,Kanmani dresses up as a boy by the name of Velayuthan Kutty and soon starts working with Manikandan and Premachandran. I have often wonderd, what cross dressing or dressing up like a boy feel. We do war trousers and shirts, but not become altogether boy like. Historically, some women have cross-dressed to take up male-dominated or male-exclusive professions, such as military service. Conversely, some men have cross-dressed to escape from mandatory military service. Some girls in Afghanistan, long after the fall of the Taliban, are still disguised by their families as boys. This is known as bacha posh. is a practice, in which some families without sons will pick a daughter to live and behave as a boy. This enables the child to behave more freely: attending school, escorting her sisters in public, and working. So happened to read the book The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi. (More on it in a separate post)

A 19-year-old woman, who was being pressured for dowry by her in-laws, was found dead nearly three months after her marriage. The family of the deceased has alleged that she was murdered. The deceased was identified as Suchithra. Suchithra got married to Vishnu on March 21. Suchithra's family had given 51 sovereigns of gold and a car as dowry to her. The gold and four-wheeler, however, was not enough for the teenager's in-laws and they demanded more. In a tragic story that has left Kerala in shock, a 24-year-old woman who had sent WhatsApp messages to her family sharing photos of alleged torture over dowry, was found dead at her husband's home on Monday.

Vismaya Nair, an Ayurveda medicine student, had alleged in her messages she was dragged by her hair and stamped on her face by her husband Kiran Kumar, who has now been arrested. They had been married for an year now, and she was given an acre of land, gold and car. But Kiran asked for a new car or 10 lakh rupees. Vismaya was found hanging in a bathroom at her husband's home in Kollam. Kiran Kumar, 30, an employee at the State Transport Department, has been also suspended from his government job. "My sister's death is murder. Because she was a victim of dowry harassment, was facing a lot. She had to even stay at her parents' home for a while," said Vismaya's brother Vijith.

"As a society, we need to reform the prevailing marriage system. Marriage must not be a pompous show of the family's social status and wealth. Parents have to realise that the barbaric dowry system degrades our daughters as commodities. We must treat them better, as human beings," the Chief Minister tweeted, sharing helplines. "A fair society is that which treats women and men as equals. In light of the recent horrifying incidents of domestic abuse, Kerala has decided to take more stringent measures to create a fair society. The Government and the people will stand together to end this injustice." We should. 

Achan-Amma's Garden @ Arunoday

 Started by Achan, amma continues with her additions and deletions, based on our needs.

This has been the addition from her - the pomegranates. First she started feeding us all, and now started growing them. 

Flowers where always there, Achan started planting them, and amma continues. 

Amma got this from Thara's house. 

This is something she has been spreading everywhere - Now you find this in many of her friends house , There are two of these in the bridge.

Chetti was since achan's time.

This is from Chennai - in the pot, lovely smell.

Maylanji

Pomegranates ready to be plucked?  Not yet, it needs to become red. 

Favorite of us all - The bitter guards

The moon shines amids the coconut tree - The tri - Looks like Achama, Achan and Ammuma

The mangoes on the mango tree, Jackfruits on the jackfruit tree with coconut tree and banana plant

Can you count the jackfruits?

This is where he lie, between his plants

Achan's favorite  kaya and Chena

Chembu

Chena

This is what we got, to have a different color, as all leaves were green. This too have reached many houses.

The shoeflower

Pumpkin and Guavas 

Nutmegs - This is what we have lost after dad. When we moved to this house, he cut the clove, saving it takes lot of space, and now, we have no more nutmegs, as amma says, collecting and preserving it is difficult and it is not always possible to keep track of its cost. 

The Tapioca's  - Our Potato's we can make anything and everything out of these 

Bananas not yet ready to be plucked

Coconuts in great demand

Coconut and areknut tree - Everyone told dad to cut this coconut tree as it was just next to the kitchen, and he told all "Thengu Chadikillya' 25 years before. It's still there. 

The papayas

The well, into which my father liked to get down as often as possible, and his plan

With Amma's additions.

Praying  that there is always Arunoday on Arunoday. 

Choosing My Job

Should you take up a job, or should you do entrepreneurship? If you are taking up an employment which should you angle for? These five should give you some clues. 

1. Indoor Vs. Outdoor 

What kind of a person are you: indoor or outdoors? Do you like to work from a desk, or move out, meet people, and make deals?   If you were an indoor person, it would be tough to cope with the crowd outside. You should hence prefer desk jobs. But if you are an outdoor person and want to venture and meet people, choose sales, marketing, advertisement etc. 

2. Creative Vs. Challenge

Note every creative person likes to take the challenge. Example: not every actor can be a director and vice versa. While both are creative jobs, the role of a director is far more challenging than that of an actor. Also there are versatile actors who unfortunately have stuck to the same role without experimenting. 

3. Money Vs. Passion

While it’s nice to say money is not essential and we must work where our heart is, money is important. The pandemic has shown us that. Passion feeds the heart, but it is money that feeds the stomach. If I am passionate about being a traffic constable or a painter, I must remember that very few have made their living big being a cop. Our view is that you must take a job and simultaneously work on your passion. When the second one becomes big, you can quit the first. 

4. Be your own Boss Vs. Work with a Boss

Some of us need constant approvals and feedback, while others are confident of their skills and do not brook interference from others. Based on your personality type, decide if you want to be your own boss or would like to work under one. But remember that merely because you are an employee does not mean you are not an entrepreneur. Those who take the initiative and show drive while in employment are called intrapreneurs. You could strive to be an intrapreneur.

5. Onshore Vs. Abroad

Where should you work? In India or abroad? It is a personal choice. There is a view that those who emigrate are doing it for the money. Those who left India in the 1980s spoke about the substantially different quality of work and life. 

Many think that an ex-pat is a second-class citizen. There may be some merit in it but not entirely. Satya Nadella, Indira Nooyi and Sundar Pichai have reached the pinnacle of corporate hierarchy despite being outsiders. Of course, America is a land of opportunities and of immigrants, and the same cannot be said of the rest of the world. The final choice is, of course, rightfully yours. Today you can work in any part of the world: Far East, Middle East, Australia-NewZealand, Europe, Asia, America etc. 

Author Workshop with Sweta Samota

 Have you claimed your spot in the 5-Day Most Trusted Author Workshop yet? It's from 12th July to 16th July at 7 pm. 

With the class, you will not only get the strategies but also the tools that will help you become the most trusted author and write, publish and market your book easily.

Day 1 - How To Launch Your Book Within 30 Minutes -  People Find Day 1 Itself Paying Off Their Investment. You Will Learn How To Launch Your Book Within 30 Minutes And Start Selling Copies Of Your Book While You Write Your Book In Next Few Days.

Day 2 - Use Proven Step-By-Step Strategy To Write Your Book FAST - Without Getting Stuck And Without Feeling Writing A Book As A Burden. This 3-Step Model Will Make It Look Like A Breeze And You Will Start Enjoying It. When You Will Learn This Model And Start Applying It, You Will Love It So Much That You Will Think Of Writing More Books Easily.

Day 3 - Proven Scientific Model To Clone Your Wisdom Into A Great Book That Suddenly Elevates You To Top 1% Of Your Industry - Third Day Is All About Understanding Reader Psychology. What's The Point Of Writing A Book Without Understanding The Human Mind And How It Expects Your Book To Be. This Scientific Technique Is A Total Gamechanger. When You Start Putting This To Use To Write Your Book, It Is Guaranteed That Your Reader Is Going To Love You And Read Every Word You Write, And Buy Everything From You. This Will Instantly Elevate You As The Top Authority In Your Industry.

Day 4 - Edit Like A Pro Without Expensive Editors. - Is Another 'Super Se Ooper' Day Where You Learn How To Edit Your Book Like A Pro Without Hiring Expensive Editors. You Get To Know My Hacks So That You Can Save All That Money And Fuel Your Marketing And Sell More, Reach More And Grow More.

Day 5 - Start Writing Your Book Like A Bestselling Author Without Any Prior Writing -Is Where The Total Shift Happens. You Get The Strategy Of Becoming A Bestselling Author. You See Yourself Transforming Into A Bestselling Author By The End Of This 5-Day Class.

https://learn.swetasamota.com/optin1623770127833

In her post on Trusted Author Frequency, she says:

"A lot of people think that publishing one book every couple of months is a pretty difficult thing in today's economy.

In this post, I want to give you the fastest way to write and get published every month like clockwork.

If you do this, achieving this dream state (most trusted author) will become as effortless as breathing or it can be a milestone that you can only dream of.

I call it the Trusted Author Frequency.

Before I explain what the Trusted Author Frequency is, you need to understand who is a trusted author as there are a lot of misconceptions about it on the Internet.

A trusted author is someone who understands who their audience is, can articulate his/her thoughts/expertise/imagination for their audience and convert their audience into their loyal fans.

Instead of just writing a book according to self-concept (the worst mistake to do), a trusted author understands the reader's demands and then writes the book like a startup founder - treats the book as their product/service for the reader.

For you to hit your Trusted Author Frequency, all you need to do is understand your audience, make a book plan, know how to publish and then write 10000 words every week, which is very much possible.

Right now, we are doing this every week and it works like a machine week in and week out with our 5-Day WhatsApp Class priced at Rs.299 with my students and clients working on it and then writing and getting published in 30 days.

So, the key to the dream of publishing a book every month is to understand your audience, working on your book plan and then writing 10000 words every week. I call it the Trusted Author Frequency." Sweta Samota Says. 

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

Finally after more than five years of the book sitting in my shelf, I have read it. 52nd of 2021, To Kill a Mockingbird is a novel by the American author Harper Lee. It was published in 1960 and was instantly successful. The story, told by the six-year-old Jean Louise Finch, takes place during three years (1933–35) of the Great Depression in the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama, the seat of Maycomb County. Nicknamed Scout, she lives with her older brother Jeremy, nicknamed Jem, and their widowed father Atticus, a middle-aged lawyer. Jem and Scout befriend a boy named Dill, who visits Maycomb to stay with his aunt each summer. The three children are terrified, yet fascinated by their neighbor, the reclusive Arthur "Boo" Radley. The adults of Maycomb are hesitant to talk about Boo, and few of them have seen him for many years. The children feed one another's imagination with rumors about his appearance and reasons for remaining hidden, and they fantasize about how to get him out of his house. After two summers of friendship with Dill, Scout and Jem find that someone is leaving them small gifts in a tree outside the Radley place. Several times the mysterious Boo makes gestures of affection to the children, but, to their disappointment, he never appears in person.

Judge Taylor appoints Atticus to defend Tom Robinson, a black man who has been accused of raping a young white woman, Mayella Ewell. Although many of Maycomb's citizens disapprove, Atticus agrees to defend Tom to the best of his ability. Other children taunt Jem and Scout for Atticus's actions, calling him a "nigger-lover". Scout is tempted to stand up for her father's honor by fighting, even though he has told her not to. One night, Atticus faces a group of men intent on lynching Tom. This crisis is averted in an unexpected manner: Scout, Jem, and Dill show up, and Scout inadvertently breaks the mob mentality by recognizing and talking to a classmate's father, and the would-be lynchers disperse.

Atticus does not want Jem and Scout to be present at Tom Robinson's trial. No seat is available on the main floor, but the Rev. Sykes invites Jem, Scout, and Dill to watch from the colored balcony. Atticus establishes that Mayella and Bob Ewell are lying. It is revealed that Mayella made sexual advances toward Tom, subsequently resulting in her being beaten by her father. The townspeople refer to the Ewells as "white trash" who are not to be trusted, but the jury convicts Tom regardless. Jem's faith in justice is badly shaken. Atticus is hopeful that he can get the verdict overturned, but Tom is shot and killed while trying to escape from prison.

Despite Tom's conviction, Bob Ewell is humiliated by the events of the trial, Atticus explaining that he "destroyed [Ewell's] last shred of credibility at that trial." Ewell vows revenge, spitting in Atticus' face, trying to break into the judge's house and menacing Tom Robinson's widow. Finally, he attacks Jem and Scout while they are walking home on a dark night after the school Halloween pageant. Jem suffers a broken arm in the struggle, but amid the confusion, someone comes to the children's rescue. The mysterious man carries Jem home, where Scout realizes that he is Boo Radley.

Sheriff Tate arrives and discovers Ewell dead from a knife wound. Atticus believes that Jem was responsible, but Tate is certain it was Boo. The sheriff decides that, to protect Boo's privacy, he will report that Ewell simply fell on his own knife during the attack. Boo asks Scout to walk him home. After she says goodbye to him at his front door, he disappears, never to be seen again by Scout. While standing on the Radley porch, Scout imagines life from Boo's perspective.

Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ʼem, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.Knowing that Jem and Scout will most likely use their air rifles to shoot at birds rather than tin cans as he’s requested, Atticus admonishes them to avoid killing mockingbirds. This is the first time mockingbirds are mentioned in the novel. Although the mockingbird is only mentioned a few times in the story, its symbolic meaning—something innocent and harmless that doesn’t deserve to be punished or hurt in any way—pervades the novel. Both Tom Robinson and Boo Radley are associated with the symbol, and the children embrace its figurative power. Scout explains to Atticus why she understands why the sheriff, Mr. Tate, is lying to the community about Bob Ewell’s death. She and Atticus know that Bob Ewell didn’t fall on his knife, as Mr. Tate claims, but that Boo Radley is technically responsible for his death. Scout understands the reason for this lie because of the association she makes with the mockingbird, a lesson Atticus taught her earlier in the novel: It’s a sin to wound or kill something that is innocent and harmless, and despite Bob Ewell’s death, Boo Radley is both. The symbol comes full circle during this dialogue at the end of the novel’s penultimate chapter.

Scout embraces her father’s advice to practice sympathy and understanding and demonstrates that her experiences with hatred and prejudice will not sully her faith in human goodness.

Main take away "People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for" - they're blind to the unexpected,  the unusual, the periphery."

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

~ Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

"It is a sin to kill a mockingbird." 

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity.

Gaslighting often develops gradually, making it difficult for a person to detect. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, techniques a person may use to gaslight someone include:

• Countering: This describes a person questioning someone’s memories. They may say things such as, “you never remember things accurately,” or “are you sure? You have a bad memory.”
• Withholding: When someone withholds, they refuse to engage in a conversation. A person using this technique may pretend not to understand someone so that they do not have to respond to them. For example, they might say, “I do not know what you are talking about,” or “you are just trying to confuse me.”
• Trivializing: This occurs when a person belittles or disregards the other person’s feelings. They may accuse them of being too sensitive or of overreacting when they have valid concerns and feelings.
• Denial: Denial involves a person pretending to forget events or how they occurred. They may deny having said or done something or accuse someone of making things up.
• Diverting: With this technique, a person changes the focus of a discussion and questions the other person’s credibility instead. For example, they might say, “that is just another crazy idea you got from your friends.”
• Stereotyping: An article in the American Sociological Review states that a person using gaslighting techniques may intentionally use negative stereotypes of a person’s gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality, nationality, or age to manipulate them. For example, they may tell a female that people will think she is irrational or crazy if she seeks help for abuse.

While anyone can experience gaslighting, it is especially common in intimate relationships and in social interactions where there is an imbalance of power.

A person who is on the receiving end of this behavior is experiencing abuse.

Intimate partner relationships

An abusive partner may accuse someone of being irrational or crazy in order to isolate them, undermine their confidence, and make them easier to control. For example, they might continuously tell someone they are forgetful until the person starts to believe it is true.

Child-parent relationships

Abusive caregivers may use gaslighting to shame or control children. They may accuse them of being too sensitive to belittle their feelings or of misremembering events from when they were younger.

Medical gaslighting

According to the CPTSD Foundation, medical gaslighting occurs when a doctor or medical professional dismisses or trivializes a person’s health concerns based on the assumption they are mentally ill. They may tell the person their symptoms are “in their head,” for example.

A 2009 study found that doctors were twice as likely to attribute coronary heart disease symptoms in middle-aged women to mental health conditions than middle-aged men.

Racial gaslighting

According to an article in Politics, Group, and Identities, racial gaslighting occurs when people apply gaslighting techniques to a group of people based on race or ethnicity.

For example, a person may deny that a specific group experiences discrimination despite evidence that says otherwise, or they might criticize civil rights activists for being too emotional to undermine their message.

Political gaslighting

An article in a forthcoming issue of Buffalo Law Review states that political gaslighting occurs when a political figure or group uses lies, denials, or manipulates information to control people.

Examples include downplaying or hiding things their administration has done wrong, discrediting political opponents based on mental instability, or using controversy to divert attention from important events.

Institutional gaslighting

According to an article in the Journal of Perinatal & Neonatal Nursing, institutional gaslighting can occur at a company or organization. The organization may deny or hide information, lie to employees about their rights, or portray whistle-blowers who uncover problems in an organization as incompetent or mentally ill.

Signs of gaslighting

People on the receiving end of gaslighting often find it difficult to realize they are experiencing abuse. They may not question the abusive person’s behavior because they are in a position of authority, or because they feel reliant on them.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline indicate that a person experiencing gaslighting may:

• feel confused and constantly second-guess themselves
• find it difficult to make simple decisions
• frequently question if they are too sensitive
• become withdrawn or unsociable
• constantly apologize to the abusive person
• defend the abusive person’s behavior
• lie to family and friends to avoid having to make excuses for them
• feel hopeless, joyless, worthless, or incompetent

Gaslighting can also cause anxiety, depression, and psychological trauma, especially if it is part of a wider abuse pattern.

Causes

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, gaslighting occurs because someone wants to gain control over someone else. It is a behavior someone learns by watching others. An abusive person may feel that they are entitled to control other people, or that their feelings or opinions matter the most.

Some abusive people also have personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Many people use the term narcissist to describe a self-centered or vain person. But while anyone can have narcissistic traits, one 2020 articleTrusted Source indicates that people with NPD have long-term symptoms such as:

• a constant need for admiration or attention
• a belief that they are special or better than everyone else
• a lack of empathy

How to respond

Gaslighting has a significant impact on mental health, so it is essential for people who experience gaslighting to make sue they look after theirs.

Gathering evidence may remind a person that they are not imagining things. This evidence may also become useful later on if a person decides to pursue legal action against the abusive person.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline offer ideas on how to gather proof. These include:

• Keeping a secret diary: This allows a person to track events, including the date, time, and details of what happened.
• Talking to a trusted family member, friend, or counselor: This may help someone gain an outside perspective on the situation and to create an external, additional record of information.
• Taking pictures: This can also help someone “fact check” their memories and remind themselves that they are not imagining things.
• Keeping voice memos: Using a cell phone or device to describe events is a quick way for someone to record something that just happened in their own words. Always check state laws on recordings before using them in court.

It is vital for someone who lives with an abusive person to make sure any proof they gather is private and that they erase their search history after looking up information on gaslighting or abuse. A person can:

• store evidence in a hidden location
• buy a second phone or a cheap voice recorder
• keep devices locked away
• send records to a trusted individual so that a person can delete personal copies
• People can also create a safety plan, which includes ways to protect themselves from physical and emotional abuse before, during, and after leaving the relationship or situation. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a safety plan may include:

• safe places and escape points
• the contact details of people someone can call upon for help
• self-care activities that help someone to cope
• a plan for safely leaving the abusive situation

When to seek help

According to a set of recommendations by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)Trusted Source, in domestic relationships, acts of emotional abuse, such as gaslighting, tend to occur alongside other types of abuse.

Over time, gaslighting may escalate into physical violence. Anyone who believes they are experiencing abuse from a partner or family member should seek support.

A person can contact domestic abuse organizations for advice and help with creating a safety plan. For the mental health impact of gaslighting, a person may find it helpful to talk confidentially to a therapist that has experience helping people in abusive relationships.

Khokho

 A game played as a child, and having a friend, who was a state level champion, motivated me to watch this movie directed by Rahul Riji Nair. 

“A good teacher does not just teach children, she also learns from them,” a wise old man tells Maria Francis on a quiet evening at her home in Perunthuruthu. Maria has been recruited as a physical training instructor at the local government girls’ school and is assembling a team of kho kho players among the students. A peaceful and serene village, creating a beautiful cinematography. 

It is not an easy task. She has been informed already that kids here tend to quit their education after school to financially assist their families. They are not impoverished, but they are not comfortably off either. More important, the lack of opportunities in the place has further fuelled the students’ and staff’s lack of drive.

Writer-director Rahul Riji Nair’s Kho Kho is different from films in the genre that have focused on problem children and crime/poverty-stricken communities, the most famous of them being the 1967 British production To Sir, With Love. Kho Kho is instead the story of a teacher who comes to terms with her own troubled past while inspiring a bunch of not-particularly-ambitious kids of short-sighted, not-particularly-ambitious parents in an unambitious school to look beyond their pint-sized goals.

You don’t need to go the extra mile to earn your salary, the principal assures Maria Teacher o­­ne day, you will get it anyway. She does not sit still though. Rajisha V­­­­­­ijayan plays Maria, a woman who once gave up her dreams in tragic circumstances and is keen now to spur others never to do likewise.

The fulcrum of the kho kho team she puts together is Anju (Mamitha Baiju), a no-nonsense quick-tempered girl who clashes with her well-meaning but quick-tempered coach partly because they have such similar personalities and partly because Maria is an imperfect teacher who is learning on the job.

Although Maria is the central character and her equation with Anju pivotal to the plot, through their stories the film also paints a portrait of the community as a whole. Though there is a vein of poignance running across the narrative, especially in the two heartwarming father-daughter relationships portrayed, comical respite comes in the form of the early interactions between Maria and her colleagues. Nair makes generous use of cinematographer Tobin Thomas’ breath-stopping aerial shots of gorgeous Perunthuruthu that establish the island and its surrounding placid waters as a visual idyll, lending greater dramatic effect to the considerable unrest the village harbours within its heart. A community nursing a hurt that may never heal, domestic violence, roadside ‘Romeos’, petty inter-personal politics and status quoism – a lot is going on below the picturesque, seemingly calm surface and the director slowly dredges it all up through Kho Kho’s 1 hour 57 minutes running time.

Realism and a keenness to unearth women’s truths have been the hallmark of Nair’s work as a filmmaker since he debuted with Ottamuri Velicham (English title: Light In The Room), a terrifying saga of domestic violence in a remote mountain region that scooped up the Best Feature Film honour at the Kerala State Awards 2017. Last month his Kalla Nottam (English title: The False Eye), a cautionary tale about unauthorised surveillance and social policing, was named the Best Malayalam Film of 2019 among the much-delayed National Awards for that year.

Kho Kho does not have the visceral brilliance of Ottamuri Velicham, but achieves a charming overall sweetness and positivity belying the heartaches experienced by its primary characters. It stumbles intermittently though when it veers away from its slice-of-life narrative style as it gradually begins to over-use music and at one point gets overtly didactic, all this culminating in the over-wrought, needlessly-stretched-out closing 20 minutes or so. By turning the finale into a conventional tearjerker, the film actually subtracts from its emotional appeal.

Sidhartha Pradeep’s compositions play a crucial role in both elevating and pulling down Kho Kho. While the tempo, tune, singing and arrangement of the title track Kho Kho Kho Kho Theevandi (lyrics: Vinayak Sasikumar, main voices: Souparnika Rajagopal and Aparna Sathyan) are enjoyable and lend energy to the film, the rap and English in the songs are an uneasy fit here. First, the rap gets too loud, and when it initially rears its head is at odds with the till-then-muted tone of Kho Kho. Second, the English lines (English rap in particular) are not just awkwardly worded, they don’t match the setting. Rise Theme at least has a thoughtful melody, but Aditi Nair R. belting out “Are you scared about the fact that I will be alone? / Well you ain’t gonna worry more cuz Imma be alone” in the rap number Did She Catch Me is incongruous here. “Imma be alone”? In Perunthuruthu? The use of a tongue so alien to the location and the characters is jarring.

The mark of a good sports flick is that it can draw you into the game even if you know little about it. Nair’s film explains kho kho well without drowning the viewer in technicalities and got me interested. Each actor chosen for the team looks like an actual player. However, after a while, there is a sameness in the depiction of the matches in the way the film cuts to music in those scenes.

This is not the first time Rajisha Vijayan has played a sportsperson – she was a cyclist in Finals and manages to look as convincing here as she was in that role. The actor last appeared in Khalid Rahman’s overrated Love that terribly underutilised her. Kho Kho gives her space and depth, and she remains mostly steady on the rollercoaster of despair, fear, anger and hope that the story takes her through, except where the film itself departs from its intimate quality. That look on her face in the closing moments (Was she choking with feeling or surprised? If the latter, then why?) is, for instance, confusing. And in a couple of scenes where music is playing in the background, it feels like she was asked to over-emphasise her lip and body movements so that they could be better read.

Mamitha Baiju has the same problem in these portions, but otherwise delivers a mature performance as Anju. In terms of writing, Kho Kho is unswerving in its focus on Maria and Anju. It also brings up questions that don’t usually get mentioned in Indian sports flicks – periods, for one. And unlike most mainstream films across the world and in India, it does not view women’s stories as incomplete sans a romance. (Minor spoiler ahead) There is a possibility of an attraction between a student and a male character at one point, but by making it a source of conflict between Maria and the student yet leaving us guessing about where it goes by the end, Kho Kho makes it clear that the women are its priority and its interest in the romance is only to the extent that it might affect the player’s career, no more. (Spoiler alert ends)

A film about a team sport is bound to direct its spotlight on a couple of characters. Here, the script picks only Anju, and that is okay too. What is not okay is that it makes the other girls, barring two of them, indistinguishable from each other. Other supporting characters are written better, and made memorable by some fine actors. Renjit Shekar Nair is a darling as the school’s team manager. And the director himself is a hoot playing one of Maria’s slithery colleagues.

Maria’s choices in the end are consistent with Kho Kho’s clarity from the start that it is not the story of an individual driven by a life-long passion for teaching nor one who knows it all – she is flawed; she comes to Perunthuruthu for practical reasons (she needs the salary); but once there, she sees a spark in the students that rekindles a spark within her, as a result of which she ends up making a difference to their lives and improving herself. (Minor spoiler in the next sentence) The briefness in the intersection of their paths holds out its own life lesson – sometimes even a fleeting interaction can leave a lasting impression on all those involved. (Spoiler alert ends)

This, among other reasons, is why Kho Kho is worth the time spent on it. Yes it does trip and fall, but on the whole, it is a pleasant film that strikes a chord with its simple story and relatable characters.

One Long River of Song - Brian Doyle

Brian Doyle, One Long River of Song: Notes on Wonder for the Spiritual and Nonspiritual Alike; is one of the most amazing and thought provoking book, that flows like a river and the music touches our soul. 55th of 2021.

"Have you every paid attention to Tolstoy's language? Enormous sentences, one clause piled on top of another. Do not think this is accidental, that it is a flaw. It is art, and it is achieved through hard work. " - Anton Chekhov

This is a beautiful book. One that I will read over and over. Brian relishes in the wonder and beauty of everyday things. He find simple things, examines them fully and relates them to us as beautiful moments. Published after his untimely death at 60 years, the book is in six parts:

I. That the small is Huge, that the tiny is vast, that pain is part and parcel of the gift of joy, and that this is love

This covers his children, and hummingbird, wales, shrew, tigers, leap, eating dirt, The Anchoviad, Illuminos. 

II There was a kid who was and Isn't but is

This covers his childhood, his parents, the first kiss, typewriter. 

III We can take off our Masks, or, if we can't do that, we can squawk through the holes in them. A Squawk is Better than Nothing

This covers his interview to himself, his regrets, and few notes and prayers, on not beating cancer, pants, The Hawk and many more.

IV This Blistering Perfect Terrible World

Beginning with 'Heartchitecture' - the architecture of heart, have many points to ponder, our daily murder, Irreconcilable dissonance, How its part of marriage, like death is part of life untill we die, on Leabarlann, the four gospel - the four books that was in the shelf of his wife, and the God. 

V We are better than we think

God again, Cool things, Bird, beach, and many more

VI I walked Out so full of Hope I'm sure I spilled Some by the door

Last days and prayers

Few remarkable quotes from the book are:

“So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one, in the end -- not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possibly can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman's second glance, a child's apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words 'I have something to tell you,' a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mother's papery ancient hand in a thicket of your hair, the memory of your father's voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children.” 

“But you cannot control everything...All you can do is face the world with quiet grace and hope you make a sliver of difference...You must trust that you being the best possible you matters somehow...That being an attentive and generous friend and citizen will prevent a thread or two of the social fabric from unraveling.” 

“Each one visits a thousand flowers a day. They can dive at sixty miles an hour. They can fly backward. They can fly more than five hundred miles without pausing to rest. But when they rest they come close to death: on frigid nights, or when they are starving, they retreat into torpor, their metabolic rate slowing to a fifteenth of their normal sleep rate, their harts sludging nearly to a halt, barely beating, and if they are not soon warmed, if they do not soon find that which is sweet, their hearts grow cold and they cease to be.”

“I pray that they would be happy. I pray that they will find work that is play. I pray that their hearts will not be stomped on overmuch—enough to form resilience, but not enough to crush their spirits. I pray that they will live long and be blessed by married love and be graced by children and maybe even grandchildren. I pray that their minds hum and sing and do not stutter and fail. I pray that they will not be savaged by illnesses, but be allowed to live healthy and happy for years beyond my ken and my own life. I still pray to die before they do. I still say thank you, every day, every single day, for being granted children at all”

“Every creature on earth has approximately two billion heartbeats to spend in a lifetime. You can spend them slowly, like a tortoise and live to be two hundred years old, or you can spend them fast, like a hummingbird, and live to be two years old.”

“We’re here for a little window. And to use that time to catch and share shards of light and laughter and grace seems to me the great story.”

“Their hands reaching and joining are the most powerful prayer I can imagine, the most eloquent, the most graceful. It is everything that we are capable of against horror and loss and death. It is what makes me believe that we are not craven fools and charlatans to believe in God, to believe that human beings have greatness and holiness within them like seeds that open only under great fires, to believe that some unimaginable essence of who we are persists past the dissolution of what we were, to believe against such evil hourly evidence that love is why we are here.”

my Birthday gift to me. 

One Long River of Song demonstrates what Doyle's writing has always demonstrated, that when you find the courage to pay attention and be open to love, you can trust that 'doing your chosen work with creativity and diligence will shiver people far beyond your ken.

Brian Doyle seems to have been a person who was in love with life, all aspects of life. And he seems to have lived his life fully. Doyle wrote novels and stories but essays, published in a variety of outlets, were his mainstay. Before his death in 2017, he agreed to having his friend David Duncan create this final collection of some of his essays.

The focus of many, if not most, of his essays, here and elsewhere, is the spiritual realm and the natural world. It appears that Doyle viewed the world through a spiritual lens so that even essays not overtly spiritual take on that tone. Not in any “heavy” or preaching manner, but more that of a constantly seeking, thankful and inquiring man.

Doyle loved the natural world, was especially fond of raptors and wrote about his interactions with glaring owls and swooping hawks. His sense of humor infiltrates his writing constantly, as does his love of family. All generations become subjects, lovingly. There is no meanness here, none at all. There may be unhappy or negative moments, but Doyle doesn’t deal in petty or repressive as so many do.

Watching Brian's heart songs pour out, relishing his whitewater sentences, in the Foreword titled 'A Mystical Project Born of joy and Desperation', DJD, Lolo say, " I witnessed a daring writer and friend embodying the sublime paradox that Dogen described in these words: 'The path of water is not noticed by water, it is realized by water....To study the way is to study the self, to study the self is to forget the self, to forget the self is to awaken into the ten thousand things.' As much as any man or woman I've ever known, Brian James Patrick Doyle reveled in the act of awakening into the ten thousand things. " One Long River Of Song: Notes on Wonder was my 35th of 2021.

"When Brian Doyle unusually fast and proficient writer,  passed away at the age of sixty after a bout with brain cancer, he left behind a cult-like following of devoted readers who regard his writing as one of the best-kept secrets of the twenty-first century. Doyle writes with a delightful sense of wonder about the sanctity of everyday things, and about love and connection in all their forms: spiritual love, brotherly love, romantic love, and even the love of a nine-foot sturgeon." This book is a collection of his Non-Fiction essays, published after his death. 

At a moment when the world can sometimes feel darker than ever, Doyle's writing, which constantly evokes the humor and even bliss that life affords, is a balm. His essays manage to find, again and again, exquisite beauty in the quotidian, whether it's the awe of a child the first time she hears a river, or a husband's whiskers that a grieving widow misses seeing in her sink every morning. Through Doyle's eyes, nothing is dull.

David James Duncan sums up Doyle's sensibilities best in his introduction to the collection: "Brian Doyle lived the pleasure of bearing daily witness to quiet glories hidden in people, places and creatures of little or no size, renown, or commercial value, and he brought inimitably playful or soaring or aching or heartfelt language to his tellings." A life's work, One Long River of Song invites readers to experience joy and wonder in ordinary moments that become, under Doyle's rapturous and exuberant gaze, extraordinary.

God

Blistering perfect terrible world.

"I am a guy who wanders around looking for nothing in particular, which is to say everything". 

Pride Month - LGBTIQA+Inclusion

We do not choose what a gender we want to born into.  In the world we live in we speak mostly in binary terms, but it is not always true. 

Sexual Orientation: It's a relative thing. How people want to identify in relation to others. LGBTIQA+Inclusion - Let's see what they mean:

• Lesbian
• Gay
• Bisexual - Attracted to more than one
• Intersexual
• Queer/Questioning
• Pansexual
• Asexual - Not attracted to anyone at all. 

Gender Identity: Derived from the sex born during birth. It's the way a person identifies their gender. 

• Transgender - Man/Women
• Gender Queer
• Cisgender women/Men - When born, you are assigned as Man or Woman 
• Agender

The above list is not exclusive or exhaustive. 

Gender Fluid people, who feel, they cannot settle with any of the above narratives. It keeps rolling day by day.

Non Binary : They cannot say that they are male or female - they feel they are someone else. 

Pronouns  : 

• why does it matter ? 
• What are they ?
• why are they important ?
• How do I use them right ?

They is also accepted as a singular pronoun - when we do not know if the person is he or she.

If you identify as LGBTIQA+ 

❖If you think you are struggling with self acceptance, seek assistance and help.

❖If and only if you are comfortable, be out and proud at your workplace.

❖Be part of your Employee network, you may be able to bring the community perspective to the table.

If you identify as an Ally 

❖Be visible and approachable, lead by example.

❖Stand up to homophobia & transphobia at your immediate workplace.

❖Sign up in your Employee network as an Ally to the community.

Documented evidence of homosexuality is found in several hundred non human species, but homophobia is found in only ONE ! 

Hetro-normativity is all around us, in our every walk of life. It prevents one from understanding what is different from them and then teaches one to hate what they don’t understand, by unlearning and by redefining is how we get diverse and inclusive.

Why be inclusive at all ? 

❖Make everyday conversations gender neutral wherever possible. Spouse instead of wife / husband; Partner instead of girlfriend / boyfriend. 

❖Use one’s chosen name over legal names irrespective of how you perceive them. Cisgender / Transgender

❖Make them inclusive. Don’t assume an individual’s partner should be of the opposite gender. 

❖Do NOT nudge a colleague as to when they plan to get married (with the opposite gender)

❖Unlearn the inner bias, redefine what is normal and moral. Acknowledge colleagues for who they are.

❖Respect individual’s choice of pronouns, ask not assume. Some prefer They/them/their to She / He

LGBTQQIP2SAA stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit (2S), androgynous and asexual. Two-spirit is term used by some indigenous North Americans to describe those who fulfil a traditional third-gender ceremonial role, the Local Democracy Reporting Service said.

Last Sunday of June, normally there is Pride march. 

Is Paris Burning? by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre

 

54th of 2021, Is Paris Burning? Is a 1965 book by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre telling the story of the Liberation of Paris during the Second World War. The book examines the military and political actions surrounding the events of late August 1944 around Paris and how these events unfolded. The title is taken from the question reportedly asked by Adolf Hitler following his order to destroy the city rather than let it be re-captured by the Allies. The story was adapted into a feature film by the same name in 1966.

The book is presented in three parts;

Part 1, "The Menace", examines the military and political situation at the beginning of August 1944, and the considerations of the various parties involved.

Part 2, "The Struggle", is a day-by-day account of the actions between 19 August, when the uprising by the French Resistance in the city commenced, and 25 August, when the German garrison surrendered.

Part 3, "The Deliverance", describes the activities of 26 and 27 August, detailing particularly the consolidation by General de Gaulle of his position as leader of the liberated French state.

The book is written as a series of vignettes based on interviews with, and the written memoirs of, the people involved, on all sides, in the liberation of Paris.

These include members of the various factions of the French Resistance, and of the Free French Forces and citizens of Paris; members of the American Armed Forces; and members of the occupying German Army.

Researchers spent nearly three years locating survivors of the Liberation of Paris, and undertook over 800 interviews of persons in France, Germany and the United States. They also had access to Allied and German action reports, war diaries, memoirs, and official records.

Senior Allied officers who assisted the authors included Generals Dwight D. Eisenhower and Omar Bradley, and Allen Dulles (of the OSS); French interviewees included Jacques Chaban-Delmas and Henri Rol-Tanguy (of the French Resistance), Mme Leclerc (widow of Jacques Leclerc) and Alain de Boissieu (son-in-law of Charles de Gaulle); and from Germany, Dietrich von Choltitz (Commandant of the Paris garrison) and Walter Warlimont (of the German High Command).

The conflict, each service, the civilians, families, famous persons and regular folks. Some happy endings, some tragic ones, each gives you a feel for what it was like to be there.

On the first day of the Paris uprising, the Resistance takes over various buildings throughout Paris. The Germans counterattack in Neuilly and retake the building. Survivors are escaping into the sewers below the building, carrying some wounded:

Charles Caillette, the sharpshooter, carried Henri Guérin, a World War I veteran whose wooden leg had been shot away by a fragment from a tank shell. Looking at it, Guérin had remarked, “Thank God, they always shoot the same one.”

Speed was the key. Hitler wanted Paris defended or destroyed. If he couldn’t have Paris, then nobody would. All the bridges and structures in Paris are mined and ready for demolition. Hitler wanted Paris to look like Stalingrad or Warsaw if he lost. The Allies were 122 miles to the west, two SS Divisions were 188 miles to the north. All racing to Paris and whoever got there first would determine the course of the battle. The German commander was willing to surrender Paris if the Allies got there but he would have to fight if the Panzers got there first.

All along the three advancing columns of the 2nd Armored, tough and costly bottlenecks like Toussus-le-Noble slowed progress. On each of the division’s lines of advance, the country ahead now flattened out into a network of villages and suburbs laced with intersecting crossroads, each offering the Germans an ideal emplacement for an antitank gun. In their rush to batter their way to Paris, the men of the 2nd Armored frequently tried to smash head on at those guns instead of nipping them out with infantry. It was a tactic that saved time. But it left behind each advancing column a sad and growing trail of blackened vehicles.

But time above all had to be saved this gray August day. In each column, relentless and unforgiving, the order was “Faster, faster.” Rounding a curve just past the river Bièvre, Private Georges Simonin, leading a platoon of tanks in his Sherman Cyclone, saw five wounded Germans sprawled on the highway before his treads. One, frantically working the pavement with his elbows tried to drag himself away. Simonin instinctively took his foot off the accelerator. As he did, he heard in his earphones the angry voice of his platoon commander crying, “Cyclone, nom de Dieu, get going!” Simonin shuddered, closed his eyes, and stamped on his accelerator.

The book is filled with great little vignettes, here are a couple from the Americans approaching Paris:

But of all the experiences along their route, nothing stood out more for these men than the sheer emotional impact of the hundreds of thousands of exultant, overwhelmingly grateful Parisians swarming over them. Frank Burk, of Jackson, Mississippi, submerged in a sea of people, thought it was “without a doubt, the happiest scene the world has ever known. Burk reckoned there were “fifteen solid miles of cheering, deliriously people waiting to shake your hand, to kiss you, to shower you with food and wine.”

A beautiful girl threw her arms around code clerk Brice Rhyne and sobbed, “We waited for you for four years.”

The precise Virginian said, “But the United States has only been in the war three years.”

“So what?” answered the girl, “We knew you’d come anyway!”

There are many stories from the French forces, sons calling their families from the outskirts of Paris and letting them know they would be there shortly. Some make it, some don’t. The authors keep you waiting to the last moment.

Printing Technology - Changes and Development

Anything that changes from the positive to negative is called printing, including photocopy, Offset, flexigraphy,  etc.

There are four major printing processes. 

Evolution of Printing Technology

The process will keep changing, but printing will never go off.

Benny Landa from Italy, produced something which could print more than 10,000 copies at a time. 

Today the printing is basically:

• Offset
• Screen
• Inkjet
• Digital
• Laser
• 3D

When Printing - people are more focused on color and image - thought set off, shadows etc. are also important. Prepress department has a key role to play. 

Cultivating positive mental health

Every minute, there are so many thoughts running around you. Cultivating positive mental health is of very important. 

In three minutes - think of the thoughts that is coming to your mind.  A beautiful way, you understand how your thoughts keep changing - it may be similar or completely different.

How can you be aware of your thoughts? - Thought diffusion technique. Imagine sitting under sky, picture each thought is a cloud and it is passing away. You are not running behind each thought. When you are fixed to something, don't struggle, let it flow. 

46% of workforce are going through mental stress/problem - depression or anxiety disorder, we need to give attention.  Be honest about it. Don't always say I am fine; if you are upset or depressed speak out. If you are physically unwell, you will be mentally as well and vice versa. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) : Evidence based Therapy to equip people will skill to cope with stress. Focus on Thought/Emotion/Behavior of an individual. Think how you can change your thoughts. Understand how every think is interlinked.

Challenging Negative Thoughts (3Cs) - Catch/Check/Change

The more you identify your negative thoughts and stop it, it will help you improve your life.

If you are feeling upset or anxious, ask why you are feeling so.  Don't focus of a particular situation where you went wrong. Don't focus on one disappointment or when something went wrong one time. It's easy to blame ourselves. Ask for evidences. Don't be in the vicious circle of negative thoughts.

Stress Control Online has online resilience certification program in case one need to attend. 

Mindfulness of sound, sitting and Breath

See things around you - 

• The colour, pattern, shape - name 5 things around you. 
• Touch 4 things around you - feel the texture; 
• Focus on three sounds around you;
• What are the two smells around you 
• One thing that you can taste

This is grounding technique - how we use our senses. Using this when you are lost in your thoughts, you can bring yourself back to the present movement. 

We are not our thoughts, we have thoughts. Don't run behind them. 

Being here and now is mindfulness. When you are doing something - do it.

When you eat, forget everything else, see the food, smell it, taste it give time and focus for your food. 

Be in a relaxed position, breath in and out, twice - close your eyes and focus on your breathings. Focus on your chest when you are breathing. Feel your forehead, move to eyebrows, focus on your nose, cheeks, ears, chin, neck, shoulders, arms, elbows, wrists, palm, fingers, knees, chest, belly, waist, thighs, knees,  calf muscles, toes, relax our legs. Rub your hands and feel the warmth on your eyes, and when ready, open your eyes. How do you feel now? Do this daily. 

Mindfulness will help improve health, well being, cognitive skills improve, stress reduces, makes memory clearer, help have positive outlook and emotions, interpersonal skill improves, you become assertive, improves communication, your confidence improves, creativity and leadership skill improves.

Mindfulness is not just a relaxation, it is not a religion - its a way of life, its not just a way to change your thought, it is not difficult or easy , it is not a way to not be concerned with the future anymore. Being in the present will only lead to your future. 

Every disease (physical and mental) is the invention of man, and has no identity in wisdom, but to those that believe, it is a truth. It may seem strange to those in health that our beliefs affect us. The fact is, there is nothing of us but belief. It is the whole capital and stock in trade of man. It is all that can be changed, and embraces everything man has made or ever will make. People never seem to have thought of the fact that they are responsible to themselves for their belief. To analyze their belief is to know themselves, which is the greatest study of man.  There is one thing that man is ignorant of. It is this: that his is a sufferer from his own belief, not knowingly, but by his own consent.