Saturday, November 29, 2014

Controlling & Dramas


Interesting details:



1.When both partners in a relationship or members in a team are overly demanding, when each expects the other to live in his or her world, to always be there to join in his or her chosen activities, an ego battle inevitably develops. There is profound sense of restlessness with changes around. We're all looking for more fulfillment in our lives, and we won't put up with anything that seems to bring us down. This restless searching is what's behind the 'me-first' attitude that has characterized recent decades, and it's affecting every-one.

2. Working to establish a more comfortable style of survival has grown to feel complete in and of itself as a reason to live, and we've gradually, methodically, forgotten our original question....we've forgotten that we still don't know what we are surviving for. We are all preoccupied. We have created the means of material security in 400 years and now we seemed to be ready- poised, in fact - to find out why we had done it.We need to observe culture not just from the perspective of our own lifetimes but from the perspective of whole...millennium...universe. Today we see around, obsessiveness, preoccupation with economic progress. People have stress related diseases and can't slow down thus reducing life only to its practical considerations.

3. Controlling for everything is impossible, some plants grow large. Don't think anything happens by coincidence. It happens to complete the unfinished business! We can affect our surroundings, by what we do with the energy that belongs to us, the part we control. When we control another human being we receive their energy. We fill up at the other's expense and the filling up is what motivates us.

4. We must face up to our particular way of controlling others. Humans have always felt short of energy and have sought to control each other to acquire the energy that flows between people. But why do you want to control and dominate others? After every conversation; individuals come away feeling strong or feeling weak, depending on what occurs in the interaction. We try to be in control, and if we are in control we receive a psychological boost and so the conflicts. We do not listen to understand, we listen to reply.There have been conflicts between families, nations and employement settings. It's the result of feeling insecure and weak and having to steal someone else's energy to feel okay.

5. An alternative source exist, but we can't stay connected with this source until we come to grip with the particular method that, we, as individuals, use in our controlling, and stop doing it because whenever we fall back into this habit, we get disconnected from the source. Getting rid of this habit isn't easy because it's always unconscious at first. The key to letting it go is to bring it fully into consciousness, and we do that by seeing that our particular style of controlling others is one we learned in childhood to get attention, to get the energy moving our way, and we're stuck there. This style is something we repeat over and over again. It is called our unconscious control drama.

It is called drama because it is one familiar scene, like a scene in a movie, for which we write the script as youths. Then we repeat this scene over and over in our daily lives without being aware of it. All we know is that the same kind of events happen to us repeatedly. The problem is, if we are repeating one particular scene over and over, then the other scene of our real life movie, the high adventure marked by coincidences, can't go forward. We stop the movie when we repeat this one drama in order to manipulate for energy.

6. Everyone plays a drama of one kind or another. Your way of controlling people and situation in order to get energy coming your way, is to create this drame in your mind. Everyone manipulates for energy either aggressively, directly forcing people to pay attention to them, or passively, playing on people's sympathy or curiosity to gain attention.

When we are aloof and do not allow an important coincidence to take place, we appear to be playing a defensive drama.

An interrogator is another kind of drama. People who use this means of gaining energy, set up a drama of asking questions and probing into another person's world with the specific purpose of finding something wrong. Once they do, then they criticize this aspect of the other's life. If this strategy succeeds then the person being criticised is pulled into the drama. They suddenly find themselves becoming self-conscious around the interrogator and paying attention to what the interrogator is doing and thinking about, so as not to do something wrong that the interrogator would notice. This phychic deference gives the interrogator the energy he desires.

If someone threatens you, either verbally or physically, then you are forced for fear of something bad happening to you, to pay attention to him and so to give him energy. The person threatening you would be pulling you in to the most aggressive kind of drama, what the sixth insight calls the intimidator.

If someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are responsible, and that, if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to control at the most passive level, with what the Manuscript calls a poor me drama.

Anyones drama can be examined, according to where it falls on this spectrum from aggressive to passive. If a person is subtle in their aggression, finding fault and slowly undermining your world in order to get your energy, then, this person wouldbe an interrogator. Less passive than the poor me would be aloofness drama. So the order of drama goes this way: intimidator, interrogator, aloof and poor me.

These are inculcated in us from childhood, from our upbringing. Interrogators make people aloof!Intimidators create the poor me or another intimidator.

Almost all of us tend to be stuck, at least some of the time, in a drama and we have to step back and look at ourselves long enough to discover what it is.

7. Once we become conscious of our control drama, then we can focus on the higher truth, the silver lining so to speak, that lies beyond the energy conflict. Once we find this truth, it can energize our lives,for this truth tells us who we are, the path we are on,what we are doing.

8. We can relate well with other people-children and adults, name control dramas, focus on other people in a way that sends them energy. If we are observant about who to talk with, then we get the answers we desire as a result. One person can uplift another. And if all the people in a group can interact this way, the group by itself will rise to a higher level.

9. We bring the whole process to consciousness. We increase our energy level and experience the coincidences consciously. This carries evolution onward at a faster pace, lifting our vibrations even higher.

1 comment:

Ranjan said...

New insights. Very helpful for life.