96 - Love/Romance

 Few modern Tamil films have received the kind of emotional worship that 96 did. Critics called it poetic. Audiences called it pure. Social media elevated it into a sacred monument of “true love.” The reunion between Ram and Janaki became shorthand for emotional depth itself. Quiet silences, old songs, lingering glances, tears held back at airports. Human beings see two people staring sadly at each other for three hours and immediately declare it philosophy.

But beneath the nostalgia and beautiful music lies a far more uncomfortable question:

Is 96 actually a mature love story, or is it a romanticized tragedy about two adults who never emotionally moved on?

The film tells us that Ramachandran spent decades emotionally frozen in time after losing Janaki in school. He never married. Never built another emotional life. Never truly healed. Janaki, meanwhile, gets married, moves to Singapore, builds a family, and lives her life. Years later, they reunite during a school gathering, spend an emotionally intimate night together, revisit their memories, and then separate again.

The film treats this as noble.

That is exactly where the problem begins.

Nostalgia Is Not the Same as Love

The core emotional engine of 96 is not love in the present tense. It is nostalgia. Ram is not in love with the Janaki of today. He is in love with a preserved memory of teenage innocence, untouched by adulthood, responsibility, compromise, or time.

That distinction matters.

Real love evolves. It survives conflict, routine, aging, financial stress, illness, children, disappointment, and change. What Ram carries is emotional preservation. A museum version of love. Beautiful to look at, but lifeless.

The film frames his inability to move on as emotionally profound. But if we strip away the violin music and melancholy cinematography, what remains is a man who allowed one unfinished teenage relationship to define the emotional direction of his entire life.

That is not romantic. It is unhealthy.

Janaki’s Marriage Becomes Emotionally Secondary

The film insists nothing inappropriate happens physically between Ram and Janaki. And technically, yes, the story remains emotionally restrained.

But emotional fidelity matters too.

Janaki is a married woman. She has a husband, a family, and an established life. Yet the film invites the audience to emotionally prioritize her connection with Ram over the life she actually chose and built. Her marriage becomes narratively secondary, almost treated like an obstacle standing in the way of some “pure” unfinished love.

That framing subtly undermines commitment itself.

Because what is the audience ultimately encouraged to feel?

Not relief that both people matured and respected boundaries. Not appreciation for the lives they built separately. Instead, viewers are pushed toward heartbreak that they did not end up together, as though decades of real life are somehow less meaningful than a teenage romance suspended in memory.

Cinema often confuses intensity with purity.

The Dangerous Message Young Men Internalize

This is where films like 96 become culturally influential in ways people rarely discuss honestly.

Young men absorb stories differently from how older audiences interpret them. Many do not walk away appreciating nuance or emotional restraint. They walk away believing:

• “True love means never moving on.”

• “If you really loved someone, you should stay emotionally loyal forever.”

• “Marriage doesn’t erase emotional destiny.”

• “Suffering proves sincerity.”

This becomes especially dangerous when repeated across cinema for decades.

The man waits. The man suffers. The man remains emotionally available forever. The woman marries someone else and continues life. Years later, destiny reunites them for one emotionally charged conversation.

Audiences applaud this as depth. But in reality, it often encourages emotional paralysis among young men who already struggle with rejection, loneliness, and self-worth.

Instead of teaching resilience, many films glorify emotional suspension.

Instead of showing healing, they glorify suffering.

Instead of encouraging people to build meaningful futures, they encourage worship of irreversible pasts.

Moving On Is Not Betrayal

One of cinema’s biggest lies is the idea that moving on somehow cheapens past love.

It does not.

People can deeply love someone and still accept reality. They can grieve relationships, heal, marry others, grow emotionally, and continue living without turning their past into a lifelong shrine.

That is maturity.

In fact, there is something quietly selfish about refusing to move forward emotionally while the other person builds an entirely different life. It may feel emotionally grand in films, but in reality it often leads to loneliness, obsession, and emotional stagnation.

Ram’s pain is real. But pain alone is not wisdom.

Why Audiences Still Connect With 96

Despite all this, the film resonates because it captures a universal fear: the fear of unfinished emotional chapters. Almost everyone has wondered at some point what might have happened if life had gone differently. The film taps into regret, memory, aging, and lost innocence with extraordinary sensitivity.

That emotional honesty is why audiences connected with it so deeply.

But emotional truth does not automatically make something emotionally healthy.

A beautifully made film can still promote ideas worth questioning.

And perhaps that is the more mature way to view 96: not as the ultimate love story, but as a haunting portrait of two people trapped by memory, unable to fully belong either to the past or the present.

Beautiful cinema, certainly.

Healthy romance? That is far more debatable.

Sermons of the Dead ~ Narendra Murthy (119 of 2024)

 

"Sermons of the Dead" by Narendra Murty is a book in three parts. Part one cover a brief sketch of six historical martyrs: Socrates, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Galileo, Gandhi, and Mansur al-Hallaj  and interviews with them. Was there anything drastically new you learn from this book? Nope if you have followed the lives of these six martyrs, believe in them and follow what the world is going through today. But the catch is there is lot to ponder and implement. 

What is commendable is the thought process, the way author has brought all the characters  to the present and tried to address most of the pressing problems faced by humanity and the need of the hour. Yes when asked there could be varying views on what the pressing problem are now, but most of them could be related or linked to one of the subject covered in the book. Values, Morals, Love, Peace, Hope, Freedom.

Am sure, the six historical martyrs need no introduction,  in the book they are are interviewed by Bertrand Russell a quintessential modern man born on 18th may 1872 in UK. His contributions to logic, epistemology, and the philosophy of mathematics established him as one of the foremost philosophers of the 20th century. To the general public, however, he was best known as a campaigner for peace and as a popular writer on social, political, and moral subjects.

Part 2 covers three eternal debate,  one on Mind Vs. Matter by Joan of Arc, Mansur and Russell; 2nd on Authoritarianism Vs. Democracy by Socrates, Gandhi and Russell and 3rd on Science Vs. Religion by Jesus, Galileo and Russell. These debates are age-old in which neither side has ever won a conclusive victory, may be so called the 'eternal debates'. 

Mind Vs. Matter: For the modern man what he can see and touch is real, but even matter is made up of minute particles that cannot be seen. Because matter is a form of energy, so is consciousness that give rise to mind. The objective world, a world 'out there' independent of the observer, simply does not exist when we delve into the atomic world. We can only perceive and cannot know what is out there. The same apply to all senses. What we perceive is our own invention. World out there is a work of art and not a scientific fact. We are creating this reality. We can know things only as they present themselves to us, and not 'as they are'. External world is Mind plus matter. Neither objective or pure matter or subjective or pure mind. So can we say 'Omnijective'? We see 'what we are' at different stages of life, and not 'what it is'. Mind evolves out of matter because it is already involved in matter. 

Matter = Expression of energy

Mind = Expression of Consciousness. 

Consciousness sleeps in the rock, awakens in the plant, moves and feels in the animal and thinks and imagines in the man. 

Matter is involved mind and mind is evolved matter. 

 Authoritarianism vs. Democracy

Democracy is not just the right to vote, citizens should be involved. The belief that human beings, societies and the environment should be ruled by the demands of the market place is diabolic and suicidal.  Only when poor are happy with neither ignorance or distress, there are no prisoners or beggars, taxes are not oppressive and aged are not in want only then we can say the democracy is successful. If we have to protect democracy, at some point we have to confront the violence of authoritarianism. 

Dysfunctional democracies with their bankrupt economic policies that exist only to serve the power elite, would respond with violence once the people rise in protest when it all becomes to unbearable. 

Democracy is controlled by the rich, which can lead to his failure. 

Science  Vs. Religion 

Our science is not an illusion, but it would be an illusion to suppose that what science cannot give us, we can get elsewhere. Science refuse to acknowledge God as God cannot be caught in laboratory experiment. God is a higher dimension and a state of being which simply cannot fit into a laboratory experiment. God is the whole, the totality of existence and science can never grasp God because its vision is fragmentary, because it deals with fragments. And even though science deals with the fragments when the fragments are integrated, we find that we are moving closer to a Unity, the Whole. Science has discovered that matter and energy are one. Time and space are one - time being the fourth dimension of space. 

Consciousness is an obvious, glaring fact of the universe and science is incapable of coming to terms with it. It happens to be the field of religion. Religion is all about illusion, revelation, inspiration, insight and vision. 

Science cannot run away from the sphere of Value judgement. There is science for knowledge and science for power. They are inextricably linked in the modern world. Power can never be free of value judgement. We are in the middle of a race between human skill as to means and human folly as to ends. The human race has survived hitherto owing to ignorance and incompetence; but given knowledge and competence combined with folly, there can be no certainty of survival. 

We are seeing the coexistence of the marvels of science on the physical plane but on the mental plane, we find an attempt to escape into irrationality and a regress into a Utopia where all our wishes come true if only we follow a prescribed formula.  We believe in Vastu, Feng Shui, and intense form of narcissism driven by the advertisement industry which place importance to physical body. 

Cults are mushrooming and they provide a refugee, by giving a sense of belonging and brotherhood. Religion has two aspects, the inner and the outer. Science see religion as a set of outdated morals. Nobody today is interested in salvation and heaven for virtuous behaviour. 

Science should not in arrogance provide blanket judgement, its best representatives - Einstein, John Wheeler - where all religious and mystics in the highest form.  The longing in man's soul can only be satisfied by a true and authentic religion. We need science to make the world a better place. 'For what would it profit a man if he gains the entire world but loses his soul?

and in Part 3 each of them give their final message, the need of the hour for humanity.

Socrates speaks on why do we live? Our souls long for things of a higher order: Love, truth, justice, peace and beauty though we are behind material things. Science lead to Truth, religion to goodness and art to beauty. Happiness would elude us in spite of possession of all the material luxuries if the higher motives or meta motives don't guide our lives. 

Joan of Arc ask us to strive for and work towards peace. 

Galileo to enhance our quest for knowledge, and not power and wealth. Though it is wisdom we should ultimately strive for. 

Gandhiji ask us to stop pretending that economics is a science. We have moved out of agricultural, industrial economics and have made finance a gamble, making money not out of goods or services but out of money. An unemployed man is a hungry man and a angry man. 

Mansur says that religious law/theocracy and freedom cannot coexist. The five pillars are enough for a good Moslem. Now we have 'clash of civilisation' because religion involves very strong emotions and it is coming out in the public space. Bertrand Russell had wisely remarked 'Religion is a department of Politics'. Beware, look where you are going. 

Jesus says, he had not asked for churches, blessed are the pure in the heart for they shall see God. Need of the hour is great LOVE. Love with tears of devotion can conquer the fear of death. 

Through these conversations, the book delves into enduring issues such as war, religious conflict, social inequality, and the essence of a virtuous life. This kind of writing do need a soaring, lofty flight of imagination that seeks to visit the realm of the departed to win the treasures of wisdom from the noble dead, making it difficult to categorise it under either non-fiction or fiction. 

 "Sermons of the Dead" is recommended for readers interested in philosophy, history, and the application of historical wisdom to modern societal challenges. Its imaginative premise and engaging prose offer a unique opportunity to reflect on the insights of some of history's most influential martyrs.

Jennifer Lopez’s ‘Greatest Love Story Never Told’

On the track “Greatest Love Story Never Told,” Affleck’s imprint is especially significant. The title takes its name from a collection of letters the actor had written to Lopez through the years. Affleck is at first surprised that the letters are made public. “I did really find the beauty and the poetry and the irony in the fact that it’s the greatest love story never told. If you’re making a record about it, that seems kind of like telling it,” From 'This is me then' in 2002 to 'This is me now' in 2024 - It's a long time. Different roads, two lost souls Never thought we’d find our way back Could have lost what matters most How could I live with that Missing your body Climbing on top of me Slippin’ inside of me Way that I ride it Bodies aligning Look at our timing Forget about the world When we’re alone Only thing that ever felt Felt like home 20 years ago, feels like time has froze We’re living in the greatest love story ever told We never let it go and never told a soul We could have been The greatest love story never told You take a little right down the middle, So close they can’t divide It’s destiny, how we found each other twice in one lifetime I tried life without you Been thinking ‘bout you You don’t know how long And we got so much time left This time, we won’t let go 20 years ago, feels like time has froze We’re living in the greatest love story ever told We never let it go and never told a soul We could have been the greatest love story never told Then I wrote The love we spoke The story goes Ever after every chapter Now I see you’re part of me I’ll always sing Ever after another chapter 20 years ago, feels like time has froze We’re living in the greatest love story ever told We never let it go and never told a soul We could have been the greatest love story never told 20 years ago, feels like time has froze We’re living in the greatest love story ever told We never let it go and never told a soul We could have been the greatest love story never told The greatest love I’ve ever known I’ve ever known And now I know I never got to be alone The greatest love I’ve ever known I’ve ever known And now I know I never got to be alone

Jennifer lopez aka J. Lo met Ben Affleck first in 2001. The Hollywood actors—then at arguably the height of their fame—first met on the set of 2003 rom-com Gigli. The movie flopped, but sparks flew between the leading stars. At the time, J.Lo was still married to her second husband, dancer Cris Judd; she and Affleck went public with their relationship soon after her divorce from Judd. (The divorce was finalized in 2003.) She also revealed her first impression of Affleck. “I felt like … ‘Okay, this is it,’” she said. “[But] sometimes I feel like what you think people are and how you see them when you love them is different than when they reveal later.” Nov 2002 they got engaged, On January 22, 2004, the two ended their engagement. In 2005 Ben marries Jennifer Garner. The Hollywood couple welcomed three children together over the years: daughters Violet and Seraphina Affleck, and son Samuel Affleck. The couple divorced in 2018. In April 2021 Bennifer reunited. After J.Lo ended her engagement to Alex Rodriguez and Affleck split from Ana de Armas, the two were spotted hanging out again. May 2021: J.Lo and Ben jet off to Montana together. May 2021: Both Lopez and Affleck “seem committed” to each other. April 2022: They get engaged (again)! July 2022: They get married in Vegas.

On Love ~ Kahlil Gibran

 Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.

     And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

     When love beckons to you, follow him,

     Though his ways are hard and steep.

     And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

     Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

     And when he speaks to you believe in him,

     Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

     For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

     Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

     So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

     Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself

     He threshes you to make your naked.

     He sifts you to free you from your husks.

     He grinds you to whiteness.

     He kneads you until you are pliant;

     And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

     All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

     But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,

     Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,

     Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

     Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

     Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

     For love is sufficient unto love.

     When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”

     And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

     Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

     But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

     To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

     To know the pain of too much tenderness.

     To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

     And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

     To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

     To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

     To return home at eventide with gratitude;

     And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923). This poem is in the public domain.

Self Love

 Respect - Say what you love and love what you say. You are in harmony - what you think, what you feel , what you say and what you do. More authentic you are.

Higher self esteem. The more you believe in your life and self. Life begin to happen for you and not to you. That is a beautiful place to operate from. 

Self esteem - Meaning and purpose. 

Have Emotional Control - 

Trust between conscious mind and subconscious mind improve. 

Discipline. 

More discipline, more freedom. 

Routine, Rituals - you feel you are queen of the world. 

Then you come to the miracle zone. 

Why you do what you do? When you know why - it is easy to stick to do what you want to do - it could be your diet or any emotion. Write letter to self from your emotion. 

Do not operate from the energy from wanting to prove, but go on a healing journey. 

Sweetest revenge if you become so successful, that all what others said become irrelevant. 

Having a realistic opinion about self is good. Be humble with outside, but don't criticise yourself to yourself. 

Own your awesomeness - Fall in love with yourself  - You are worth it. 

Visualise and release, and don't get attached to it. Hack the programme - 

We did not get what we want, but what we have now is much better than what we want. 

You continue to be right, the garden will bloom suddenly. 

Keep refilling your cup. Keep the remote control of your life with you and use it wisely. 

Love Never Fails

 When you meet your needs, you will love yourself more. People who have a high level of self-love take care of others.  Taking good care of oneself is important to take care of others. 

Love+Care=Mom

Love+Care = Mental Health + control

When someone is controlled a lot, their mental health comes down. 

When someone say you don't love or care, say, I do not exercise control, does not mean I don't love. 

Love is a feeling so divine, it gives you wings, you are your best version. You tend to do good for all. 

Because you are feeling loved, you share it. That is the mental state. 

Hormone Oxytocin - Butterfly and wings. 

You bloom in your personal and professional life. 

You are stress free, relaxed.

If there is gaslighting, if you have to keep explaining , keep validating again and again, you will feel suffocated. 

It is not love. 

Don't give that control to someone else. 

Practise self love - when you are full, you can give more. 

Happy Home - spread Happiness. Environment effect baby. 

There is someone for everyone.

There is someone for you some one for everyone

Why short leaved loves and divorces so much now?

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Grief, love, attachment, relationship are all related.

May you find your Love always. 

Bounce back, Love is roots, It's unconditional. But don't be an overgiver. Fill your cup first. 

5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman (21 of 2023)

 The most common issue in any relationship is the communication barrier. Everyone experiences love differently, and it’s easy to miss the mark when it comes to showing that you care. Love begin at home and people speak different love languages. Like the languages we use to speak, read and right, most of us grow up leaning the language of our parents and siblings which become our primary or native one. Language differences are part and parcel of human culture. So also in the area of Love. 

"Inside every child is an 'emotional tank' waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Misbehaviour is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank'. Dr. Ross Campbell. Love Language children understand can be different from that of the parents. 

Spouses, friends need not have the same Love language. All need security, self worth and significance. Share that in your relationship. 

In 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman tells about the secrets of Love that lasts.

We need to keep the Love tank full, and understand that 'falling in love' is an euphoric experience.  From in love, we move to real love. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. The emotional need for love must be met if we are to have emotional health.  

For relationships to last we need to keep the love tank full. The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming word we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires. Encouraging words, compliments, kind, humble words make a difference. Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. It can be verbal or non verbal. 

By bringing into today, yesterday's failures you pollute a potentially wonderful present. Let failures become history. Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment. 

The 5 languages are:


1) Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

2) Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided, Focused attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities with feelings. Quality conversation requires not only sympathetic listening but also self-revelation. There are two personality types - Dead Sea and Babbling Brooks.  For BBs what enters their eyes or ears come out of the mouth. 

3) Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly. It is something you can hold in your hands, visual symbols. Physical presence help. 

4) Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. It's common to feel Doormat or Lover? The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

5) Physical Touch

Touch is very powerful. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. This language isn't all about the bedroom. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

We need to discover our primary love language and the love language of our loved ones. Know which of this it is:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Ignoring the love language is like ignoring the needs of the garden. 

If your deepest pain is the critical, judgemental words - then your love language is 'words of affirmation.' You can understand your love language by answering these questions:

1. What hurts you the most?
2. What have you requested most often?
3. In what way do you regularly express love?

If your love tank has been too full or too empty, it will be difficult to find your love language. Do a Tank Check. Ask for a reading from 0 to 10 three evening a week. If you loved one is at a 10 consistently, good and continue doing what you are doing. 

Love is a choice, love makes the difference, we can love the unlovely. "Do to others as you would have them to do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them" - So says Bible. 

1. 'Ask'  and be a better person
2. Take feedback
3. Continue giving positive feedbacks and affirmations
4. Don't rest on you laurels - continue the journey. 

Each of us come from different personality and history with different emotional baggage.  Our primary love language tend to stay with us for a lifetime. Children need to learn how to receive and give love in all five love languages. 

Love and Heartbreak

 Don't fear, have courage,

Move with passion and speed.

Every time you succumb to psychological pressure

You fail. And Leaders should not.

Each of you is an undiscovered treasure.

Discover yourself!

Be a change maker. 

To Love, you need to learn to rise above hurt. 

Awakening happen in the mind of young. As you grow older, you convert your vision into reality.  Work with enlightened consciousness. Be a change maker. Free of the tyranny of the conflicted mind, be a start. 

1) How do we know we are in love and its not infatuation?

In the spectrum of romantic relationship there are four levels:

• Crush - you feel nice staying around someone sweet and kind, it passes away with time, there is no bond.
• Infatuation - You begin to become obsessed abut someone, and you want them to think of you. Lot of chemistry and neediness get engaged. You get infatuated, when you are low, and someone gives you an attention. Through out your life you will fall in and out of infatuation. Your eye become bigger and bigger. It's a pleasure you derive by the thought of how you are important to each other. If it is not reciprocated, it hurts and there is lot of hate
• Discovering heart felt connection - Only with it, nurturing relationship begin. You feel the others joy, sorrow and anxiety. You are sensitive. Heartfelt connection is felt. This is not just with romantic partner, but with your parents, siblings and others as well.
• Love is an enlightened consciousness. Free to be more than the now, and other person looks like a miracle, not because they have no flaws, but it's because of your sense of preciousness. You could feel this when you observe a homeless person, when you sit under an old tree.

See where you are, and understand. For this Love is beyond the ordinary conflict in mind. If you do not know how to love, you have not lived at all.

2) Heartbreak to peace.

All separation is painful. If a person had meant something to you, to separate from the person is painful. It will hurt, because you will miss the person. Separation at some level, is like death. In your body, and in you heart, you know that person is not going to be part of your life. That beautiful relation ship is gone. So it hurts. How long can we grieve? There is no specific time period. If you can, you should not be in pain for even an hour. You just pay attention to the conflict you are going through. The regret and all the thoughts. In that observation your will realize, your love, your obsession was emotional dependence on each other. So you decide to end. Set out on a quest, to become a greater human being, though love which is enlightment. 

3) One sided love. 

 

Be conscious before your use the term unconditional love. Love that is forced upon another is not love, it is violence. This is bitterns and possessiveness. It is only going to damage you. You cannot win anyone's love from such a state.  Become free and it will happen.

4) Scar from the heartbreak. 

Heartbreak is painful. It is as real, as a physical wound in the body. If you keep scar in the heart, you should set yourself free. Merge with self love, respect and peace within you. Then you will attract the right kind of person in your life. 

5) How exactly to get out of the pain of heartbreak?

Heart cant heal by trying to forgive, forget or apologies. According to Japanese tradition, when the traditional pottery is broken, they add liquid gold , Pot looks much more beautiful.  Your actions and contribution to the world, determine your worth, not how others treat you. , if you do it from your heart, practice kintsugi of the heart. Awaken the deeper love to yourself. Intimate relationship break, because you are not able to love yourself. Have respect. There will be judgements. Work of accepting and discovering love to oneself. 

Find peace and ease with yourself, until you do, every judgement, will put you down, there will be always fear.  Only in the state of self love, and when your heart heal, you will be able to love others. 

6) Why do people not understand friendship and think there is sexual or romantic relationship?

Current civilization is filled with  loneliness in the hurt and lust in the mind. People are deeply unhappy with their life. Life ahead is not clear. If you can let them see this, things will change. Love does not mean physicality. It is a small part . If it dominates, boredom is not far behind. So people fall in love and fall out of love. Relationship driven by loneliness and lust, will end with cracks in the heart. Get out of this crazy thought. 

Understand Love will happen in your life, separation too will happen. Coming together will happen. This is the river of life. You will meet many wonderful people, some will drop out, and new people will join. Let go of anger and hate, and not hold a grudge and linger with heartbreak, if you understand this. 

Don't be stuck in the narrow arguments of everyday life. Grow everyday! 

5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

The most common issue in any relationship is the communication barrier. Everyone experiences love differently, and it’s easy to miss the mark when it comes to showing that you care.

5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman are:

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Love is in the air

Òn this Valentine's day friends kept enquiring and wishing - Happy 1st Valentines Day with your Valentine! 😍💖💞

Life and each thing we have here is a gift from divine. Cherish it, value it. It’s a blessing to have someone to love and to be loved.

Marriage is a covered dish. Untill you are married you see the best self of your better half, and after wedding you see the true self.

For a marriage to be successful, you need 4 D’s – Determination, Discipline, Discussion and Devotion. Without these, it is bound to fail.

The pain of loss never completely goes away but I do believe we find our way to a better place. We look to and love the people who are with us and we remember and continue to love the people who have left us. There will be moments when we find ourselves smiling and we welcome that smile. And one day we find ourselves enjoying the sunshine and feeling peaceful and we let that in too. We cry when we feel it and we re-enter the world when we feel that too. And we have set backs and then we move forward again. And again. And again. And ultimately, we do find our way. We just find our way.

Love is not what you say, love is what you do.

If you marry the:

Right person - every day is Valentine’s day.

Wrong person - every day is Martyre’s day.

Lazy Person – every day is Labour’s day.

Rich Person – every day is New Year’s day.

Immature Person – every day is Children’s day.

Cheater or liar – every day is April Fool’s day.

If you don’t get married at all – Every day is Independence Day!!!

No one will ever know or love you better than your mother.

Anything that cost you your peace is expensive, anything that you enjoy will give you happiness. Always believe something wonderful is about to happen.

Accept both compliments and criticism. It takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow.

These moments, these memories, I will cherish for years; should the seasons change, I will appeal for them.

“Life advice:

Always be the best person you can be. Be flexible. Have good attitude.

Be kind even when you’re tired. Be understanding even when you’re angry. Do more than you’re asked, and don’t ask for anything in return. Don’t silently expect anything either. Expectation is the root cause of all sorrow.

Listen when someone talks, and really listen too, stop just thinking of how you’ll reply. Tell people that you love them and that you appreciate them. Go out of your way to do things for people. Be the greatest person you can possibly be and when you mess up, make up for it in the next moment or minute or day. One thing you should never do – Never spend your time trying to prove to anybody that you’re great, your actions will speak for themselves and we only have limited time on this earth, don’t waste it. If someone doesn’t see your light, don’t worry. Like moths, good people are attracted to flame and to light, and they will come. “

Love is in the air, with many other things. It was, is and will be. It is up to us on how we use it.

Thanks for considering me worthy...

"Do not look for the ideal man or the ideal woman – there is none." But If you understand that it is your needs that make you seek a companion, find someone who is reasonably compatible with you. If you accept, respect, love, include, care for, and take responsibility for each other, it can be a beautiful #relationship." Why not give a try? One Life.


"It is easy to understand the emotions of a woman when she is in love. If she loves you then you will always be on her mind every minute of the day and she would love to stay connected to you all the time. If she keeps calling you or texting you it doesn’t mean she has nothing else to do in her life …just remember she is taking out time from her busy schedule just to give her and time and attention to you. If she shows jealousy towards other women in your life it means she just can’t share your attention with anyone else. If she says sorry for no fault of hers it means she just loves you and she doesn’t want to make you feel bad for whatever you did to upset her. If she keeps forgiving you for your mistakes and accepts you back in her life again and again it simply means that she loves you and you are really important to her and she treasure your relationship with her. If she is truly in love with you she can go to any extent to show her love and affection and she wants nothing more than to feel loved. " {Aarti Khurana }

Yes. I am.

There's a big difference in being alone and being lonely. Being alone is a choice and being lonely is a feeling. Loners are a unique type of people. They prefer having a small circle of friends, and they do not mind spending time alone.

My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.” ― Warsan Shire

But I I'll have you even otherwise. Just want to make sure you are comparable. And why Me?

The wrong one will find you in peace and leave you in pieces. The right one will find you in pieces and lead you to peace.

Never regret being a good person, to the wrong person.

I choose to love you in silence...
For in silence I find no rejection.

I choose to love you in loneliness...
For in loneliness no one owns you but me.

I choose to adore you from a distance...
For distance will shield me from pain.

I choose to kiss you in the wind...
For the wind is gentler than my lips.

I choose to hold you in my dreams...
For in my dreams, you have no ends.

Rumi.

Where there is love, There is Life...

Could not resist sharing this; though not my own writing; this speak out my mind at this juncture:

Love is a beautiful human emotion. It ranges from affection to attraction, and represents kindness and compassion. Love inspires us, motivates us, balances us, and makes life beautiful. The love of family and friends, the love of life, love of God, loving another, this is how our life should be, filled with love and happiness. Love is the beauty of the soul, it is about kindness, patience, understanding, sharing, trusting, protecting, rejoicing, and perseverance.

Everyone wants to be loved and accepted, and no matter how successful our career, our status in life, our wealth, without love our life is empty. A wealthy business owner or a poor rice farmer will feel the same emotion when surrounded by a loving family, because it is love that makes us feel special.

Love between two people is a magical feeling, your lover is your best friend, and time is not measured by clocks but by moments, beautiful moments when both are together and sharing life experiences. But for love to last we must also respect, communicate, compromise, care, and trust each other.

Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there is no love. Without trust there is no reason to continue.

If the relationship did not succeed, it taught us what we do not want in a relationship. Life is about learning, so instead of feeling rejected, or lost in blame, let go the past and look to the future with hope and happiness, and we shall again be blessed with love.

How much we love will determine our life and our happiness, and best of all when we give love we receive love back. The more we give the more we receive, so we should love with all our heart, because a life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit, an ocean without water, darkness without light. We must also love ourselves, not with ego but with loving kindness, because if we cannot love ourselves it will be difficult to show love to another. So love without depending, speak without offending, showing kindness and compassion to everyone, feeling blessed and grateful, because life is beautiful :)

Photo: Bilinga Beach, Gold Coast

Love is in the air this Valentine's day.....

With crazy co-workers, and loving team; there was a new friend this year. The day began with a twist - a so called horror movie which reminded - You can take a girl our of Mumbai, but not mumbai out of a girl-

Anyone who loves, in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time. Once in Life, Do fall in Love, not necessarily with a person, but with an idea, a dream, an ambition...More often it'll be a reason to wake up with a smile.

And so well was the office arranged for this day, indeed we love our work - comming late, leaving early and so many different things - for each their own!

Had an amazing day with my colleagues. Love you zindagi!!!

Anthropologist explains why we cheat on people we love

YouTube/TED Talks) - Thought of sharing this, as it happened to answer many of the open questions, from Krishna to modern day perfect partners.

Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher has a pretty perfect description of what it's like to be in love with someone:

Simply put, she says, that person becomes the center of the world. You have an intense craving to be with that person, not just sexually, but emotionally. You can list the things you don't like about them, but all that gets pushed aside and you focus only on what you do like about them.

"It's an obsession," Fisher said in TED Talk called "Why we love, why we cheat."

What's going on biologically, though, is far less romantic, and it explains why we sometimes cheat on those we love.

Romantic love is essentially just elevated activity of the reward hormone dopamine in the brain.

In the TED talk Fisher explains an experiment where she and a team of scientists scanned the brains of people who were in love. The team showed the smitten person a neutral photo and then a photo of their beloved. They recorded which regions of the brain were active while the person gazed at the photo of their partner.

The researchers found that one of the most important brain regions that became active when each person looked at a photo of their partner is the reward system — the same brain area that lights up when a person takes cocaine or has an orgasm.

That means that "romantic love is not an emotion, it's a drive," Fisher said. "And in fact, I think it's more powerful than the sex drive."

Many other studies have found the same thing: love operates as a motivation and reward system in the brain. So, if love is rewarding, what drives us to cheat on people we fall in love with?

The problem is that romantic love isn't the only brain system that is activated when we fall for someone. There are actually three brain systems related to love, Fisher explained.

There's the sex drive, which is like an "intolerable neural itch," to get us out searching for a range of partners to help pass on our genes. There's romantic love, which helps us focus our mating energy on one person. And then there's attachment, the calm and security we feel with a long-term partner so we can raise children with them as a team.

However, those three brain systems, sex drive, romantic love, and attachment, aren't always connected to each other.

So it's possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said.

"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.

And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner.

It's why someone can lay in bed at night thinking about deep feelings of attachment to one person and swing to thoughts of romantic love for another person.

"It's as if there's a committee meeting going on inside your head as you try to decide what to do," Fisher said. "I don't think honestly that we're an animal that was built to be happy — we're an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make."

This all sounds like a cynical take on love, but Fisher says that, despite all these straightforward and unavoidable biological processes, there's still mystery and "magic to it."

Wedding - Way of Life

True to the core - "To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with". What one person cannot do - two can; and what one person can do, two can do still better. This is the basis of any society, team or family.

During riddle time there used to be a question - where do Divorce come before marriage? and now it appears that this is comming true in every walk of life.

Inspite of it, people spend so much of money on marriages, why?

1. Our culture is very old. Older the culture, bigger the burden, deeper the conditioning. "If its been around for so long, it must be right". Most actions are based on beliefs than rationale, with deep rooted traditions. So if you disagree, it makes you 'wrong', not 'different'.

2. Western influence is changing things: This is not a judgmental - but a factual statement. In the 50s you would have dutifully done what your parents said, in the 80s - you would have expressed your opinion but conformed anyway. Today you dare to consider the possibility of actually doing what you think - because you have seen that its possible. Does not make it 'right'.

If people are really in love they would not need an invisible string of marriage to hold on. The fact that one is needed suggests that peope couldn’t love enough to make it work.

People might not express - but somewhere deep down, most of the people as they grow up wants to get married; and some really do not want to. Belive it or not; it has not been a year, I heard by nephew and cousin of 5 years discussing, seeing my sisters marriage video - Will you get married when you grow up? I will; and the other said - no I will not. Guess that feeling is inculcated in the mind as we grow up, as we see the lives of people around.

Most of us would have witnessed parents have had the worst fight of their lives. They would swear not to talk to each other again. We would think they would leave each other; go their separate ways. But most of them have stuck to their vow to be with each other in thick and thin - untill death dead them apart. This thought held the family together.

This made me realize that relationships are not only about love but they are also about hatred, frustrations and disappointments;and marriage was that invisible thread which held peope together when the light of your love is wrapped around by the clouds of misunderstandings. It held people together during those weak moments of your relationship. No matter how much love you have for each other, sometimes there comes those weak moments and marriage held couples together during such tough times. But it no more does; same as is the case with Joint family system vis a vis Nuclear family.

But with people becoming economically and socially independent; and moving into an age of throw away times - anything that lasts long, repulse and so do commited long lasting relationships; untill and unless they are really strong.

Inspite of this, it is hilarious, how much of money people spend on wedding; when they could use it for other worth while purposes.

1) Costly wedding cards - How many of them are really preservied? Is this really needed? We say Go Green read on screen; and then why spend so much on wedding cards?
2) Long Guest Lists - Well you need to have your loved ones around, if required(not mandatory) when you move into a new beginning of your life; but it does not make sense to invite - every one you know - mind you; all the people you know are neither your friends, nor your loved ones.
3) Lavish speding - You might want to make your special day a memorable one; but this does not mean you need to spend lavishly for this day - spend all the life's earnings? You need to have a better life after your wedding, and not just a grand wedding day.

If you are destined to meet your Mr./Mrs. Right, and you are bound to be tied by the holy knot of wedding, you will be; God willing. But how much you spend for this one day or you make the rest of your life happy is upto you.

One person's cost is another person's review - a way of life. Good, let the people who have money and want to spend do it. But the irony is when it becomes a norm. When everybody want's to replicate the style of elite.

What is the guarantee that inspite of all the spend, the couple would live happily ever after?

It has become a routine, marriages, divorces & suicide. Either one of the partner or the parent. Now Pratyusha Banerjee; similar tragedies of Nafisa and Jiah Khan in recent times; and innumberable in all the years gone by who were all 'beautiful and talented girls'; most of them in love give up their life? Agree to Hemaji's tweet - “All these senseless suicides which achieve nothg! Life is God’s gift for us to live not for us to take at will. We have no right to do that,”

So very true - 90% of success in life depends on marrying the right person. The cost of Love - as Mr. Amari Soul rightly mention - Falling in love with the wrong person could cost you everything..

Love

Questions don't have to provide answers. Questions can springboard into new thoughts, ideas and interpretations. There are no right answers.

Sometimes you just need to be silent. Because no words can explain what is going on in your head, mind and heart. This brought me into another reading-



I know it is our interdependence that makes our independence possible. .. and I love my freedom. Was so happy to be single, without bonds and cares..Remember Gareth's words - and it is echoing in my head 'Never say Never'. It is so true:



Aankhen khuli ho ya ho band,Deedar unka hota hai,Kaise kahoon main o yaara yeh pyaar kaise hota .. This too is an awesome feeling..

The King of Love My Shepherd Is
By: Henry W. Baker

The King of love my shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never;
I nothing lack if I am his
And he is mine forever.

Where streams of living water flow,
My ransomed soul he leadeth
And, where the verdant pastures grow,
With food celestial feedeth.

Perverse and foolish oft I strayed,
But yet in love he sought me
And on his shoulder gently laid
And home rejoicing brought me.

In death’s dark vale I fear no ill
With thee, dear Lord, beside me,
Thy rod and staff my comfort still,
Thy cross before to guide me.

Thou spredst a table in my sight;
Thine unction grace bestoweth;
And, oh, what transport of delight
From thy pure chalice floweth!

And so through all the length of days
Thy goodness faileth never.
Good Shepherd, may I sing thy praise
Within thy house forever.


--------

We live life only once, we need to live it right with dignity. Experience all and see all that we can, in the one life that we have. Glad that you let me know this as well:

What this love is like, falling in love I will see
Lost in thoughts, I have decorated dreams
Asleep by myself, I have made you mine
Oh friend, one in love
How can I say, oh friend, what this love is like



And then there is the love of siblings...

-----

Well it could be for material or abstract things as well...

---

Anything more wonderful than the love of God...who guides us, protects us...

Whatever - No one can tell you what love is, you will simply know it when you feel it.

Love Vs. Marriage

There is no statistical study or result on what exactly love or marriage is. They just happen. No age for it, no time for it, no place for it...The feeling could trigger when you are young, or when your are old; when you are single or when you are married; when you are alone or when you are in a group.

In Love marriages, love may be at first sight, or may be after one or two breakups.

If you have no courage to take the risk of love...no risk, no reward.

Love is like alcohol. Its a bottled poem. Age no bar, caste no bar...

And here is what our LLB guy from the team said:

"Resolved that love is though eternal, it depends on each person's personality and attitude to take it to next level called marriage.

Resolved further that since there are no proven statistics to showcase whether the Love and marriage are correlated or not, it has been decided that we need to understand the words not by its literal meaning but it has to be read along with the relationship two people had before they got married.

Sd/-
Dr. Love. "

Any guesses who is Dr. Love? The young all rounder, whose shortfilm was recently selected ..Gives strong definitions, and claims that he does not want to be married...


P.S. A discussion by the lovers of the team - Rakesh, Anoop& Prasanth (cum writer); and writer Anil.- This is what we the professional accountants discuss in Whatapp...Ooops...

Jokes apart, this made me ponder -

No one can tell you what love is, you will simply know it when you feel it. Love someone who is honest, honest with you, with others and with themselves. It’s a great feeling, indeed!

More than Ram & Sita; Krishna & Rukmani or Sathyabama – Stories of Krishan and Radha are famous, oftesn spoken about – and it is believed that even after death – it is Krishna and Radha who become one?

Marriage is not about procreation, the infertile marry. Marriage is not about finance, the poor marry. Marriage is about love, That’s it. And that’s beautiful.

It is not an objective or goal of any person to get married, but that is one thing that more than 90% of the human being end up doing.

Marriages are neither what you see in movies, nor what you read or listen to people say. It is indeed made in heaven. Sometime I wonder if two people cannot be together why did destiny let them meet at all? So sad to see so many divorces these days..

Wish people could really find their better half – as Devi mentioned “ the critical half that you can’t do without…that half that comes alive when you are totally down in the dumps…that half that does not want to capture your half of the deal and lets your half operate independently…simply lets you breathe and just “BE””

Marriages begin as a simple road trip, and turns out to be a lethal tightrope establishment with family circuses. Happy Marriage is where you can fall asleep and wake knowing your heart is safe. When you stumble down, you have a steady hand to hold on.

“.You start comparing, contrasting, contradicting….Those creeping moments when you start wondering whether hell had anything to do with the origin of marriages…..the blame game erupts at the drop of a hat..err..may be drop of a nappy when you also become ‘parents’ apart from ‘married couple’ .

Like wise Motherhood is when a girl actually transforms into a women. One need not have a kid of own..but having a kid around makes one more responsible, sincere and affectionate in all the things that we do and see.


Truly blessed are those who get into a relationship where they talk like best friends, play like kids, argue like couples and protect each other like siblings. That does not mean someone else is less blessed than they are. It’s just that we are blessed in different ways.

Life is so ironic. It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence. I type this surrounded with two laptops, two mobiles, facebook, Whatsapp...But with no single soul except mine around! With no regrets - But Thanking God for blessing me in a different way.

Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba
Aaye jo koyi toh phir jaaye na rabba
Dene ho gar mujhe baad mein aansoon
Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba

The 40 Rules of Love-Only Rules

Am sure; Love has no rules! This is from the book;'The 40 Rules of Love' by Elif Shafak.


1. How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is mostly fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

2. The Path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide. Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs (false ego) with your heart. Knowing your ego (higher self/soul) will lead you to the knowledge of God.

3. Each and every reader comprehends the Qur’an/ Bible on a different level in tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are 4 levels of insight.

• The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of people are content with.
•  Next is the Batum- the inner level.
• Third there is the inner of the inner.
• And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to be indescribable.    
•          Scholars who focus on the Sharia/ Bible know the outer meaning.
•          Sufis/ Lightworkers know the inner meaning.
•          Saints know the inner of the inner.
•          The fourth level is known by prophets and those closest to God.

 So don’t judge the way other people connect to God. To each his own way and his own prayer. God does not take us at our word but looks deep into our hearts. It is not the ceremonies or rituals that make a difference, but whether our hearts are sufficiently pure or not.

 4. You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing exactly where his abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

 5. Intellect and love are made of two different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, “Beware too much ecstasy,” whereas Love says, “Oh never mind. Take the plunge!” Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden amongst ruins. A broken heart hides treasure.

6. Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.

7. Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without being lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person, that person will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.

8. Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things may seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful ! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi/Lightworker is thankful not only for what she/he has been given, but also for what she/he has been denied .

  

9. Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be so short-sighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lover’s of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.

  

10. East, West, South or North makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey, a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond.

  

11. The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as day needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.

12. The quest for Love changes us. There is no seeker amongst those who search for Love who has not matured along the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you start to change within and without.

  

13. There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the numbers of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven self centred people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the Light of God pass through them.

  

14. Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

15. God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly and inexorably moving towards perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art, both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is a fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.

  

16. It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects. Remember one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God.

17. Real Filth is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure waters, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.

  

18. The whole universe is contained within a single human being – You. Everything that you see around, including the things you might not be fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore do not look for Satan outside of yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without. It is an ordinary voice within. If you get to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness both your dark and light sides, you will arrive at a supreme form of consciousness. When a person knows himself or herself, he or she knows God.

  

19. If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to fully love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.

20. Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That’s the hardest part and that’s what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Do not go with the flow. Be the flow.

  

21. We were all created in God’s image and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No two hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is tantamount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.

22. When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference not our outer appearances. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both his eyes closed and instead opens a third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm.

23. Life is a temporary loan, and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate.

  

24. The human being has a unique place amongst God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it falls upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.

  

25. Hell is the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present in this very moment. Every time we fall in Love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fires of hell. Is there a worse hell than the torment a man suffers when he knows deep down in his conscience that he has done something awfully wrong? Ask that man. He will tell you what hell is. Is there a better paradise than the bliss that descends upon a man at those rare moments in life, when the bolts of the universe fly open and he feels in possession of all the secrets of eternity and united with God? Ask that man. He will tell you what heaven is?

  

26. The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practise compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish, but are perpetually stored in infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.

27. This world is like a snowy mountain that echoes your voice. Whenever you speak, good or evil, it will somehow come back to you. Therefore if there is someone who harbours ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be different at the end of forty days, because you will be different inside.

28. The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through us and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment. The present moment is all there is and all that there will ever be.

  

29. Destiny doesn’t mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore to leave everything to fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance. “The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed on forty different levels. Your destiny is the level where you will play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands. ”

30. The true Sufi/Lightworker is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a single bad word about any of his critics. She/he never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only One?

31. If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgemental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lessons and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before. The only way to get closer to the Truth is to expand your heart so that it will encompass all humanity and still have room for more Love.

32. Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not imams, priests, rabbis or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.

33. While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.

34. Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission – a power that comes from within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquillity and peace even when the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.

  

35. In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore the believer needs to meet the unbeliever residing within. And the unbeliever should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of being the perfect human being, faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief.

36. This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. Fear not the plots, deceptions or tricks of other people. If someone is setting a trap remember so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf sits outside of God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does He does beautifully.

37. God is a meticulous clockmaker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.

38. It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one way to be born into a new life: to die before death.

39. While the parts change, the whole always remains the same. For every thief who departs the world, a new one is born. And every decent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes.

40. “A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western…. divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire. The universe turns differently when fire loves water

With love in air....To my sweetheart...

This Valentines day was special....14th Feb 2012

We had a letter writing competition in our office, the letter had to be written in 15 minutes, to anything/one, other than human being....

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Nirmal's Love for IT issues:

Hi Honey,

I still remember the day I left Chennai for Williams Lea in Cochin. In my heart, I was very happy but there was something which was pulling me back. It was the thought that I won’t be able to see you again.

I landed in Cochin, joined office but still I was not happy. I could still remember the days we spend together, the fun we had all through the night (in my previous company I was working in US Shift), and the touch of you which always mesmerized me. But thanks to GOD, one day I saw you standing in front of me in our floor. I was so happy. I could not control my emotions. Out of curiosity I asked my manager, who is she & whether she was working here before. He told me that two months before he had seen you but after that he has never seen you. From then I could see you frequently in my floor. I could see Jay relaxing in his chair whenever he sees you, Aneesh also.

I really don’t like when Jay looks at you so seductively. Every one in the floor blames you for any issues. I cry in my bed whenever you leave my floor with Anil (IT Personnel) .Only last week you were with me till 2.00 am. I know you have enjoyed the night also, only you & me, hands together. I will be looking for another hot session with you.

I heard that in Williams Lea they are planning to throw you out but I know its very difficult for them to fire such an hard working person.
Even my wife is very jealous of you & will always ask about you whenever I reach my home. But I know you are not like her & will never leave me for anything in this world.

I LOVE YOU my IT ISSUE.

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Love letter to Mosquito by Ram...

I still carry vivid memories of our first meeting. You are the most romantic living being that I have come across in my life.

You come to my room with your refreshing voice.

You spread your wings in the air carrying a breeze and clears all the dust in my room.

You are the one who sees me when I go to bed and you are the one who wakes me up in the morning through a lovely SUPRABATHAM.

Even when many of us do not understand your real love and during the times when some of them even try to kill you by burning coiling and mats, you were not ready to leave me as a companion. Your experience with me invokes many of the good qualities in me.

You start your job on time and continue without any pause and ends with playing music in my ears. It is one of the most soothing voices that I have ever heard of and at many times.

Your music inspired me to unearth some of my hidden talents in music and this always encourages me to take my way to success.

People try to kill you by using electric bats, but even on those people, you showed your mercy and made them uncover some of their talents in racket games.

I cannot find anything more important than sacrifice to build love. You are the living example for LOVE.

Thank you for being there at all times, my dear MOSQUITO.

Yours Lovely,
Ram

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Smita's letter to dairy...

Dear Diary

Quite strange, I never thought of letting you know of my feelings before, guess today is an appropriate day to tell you how much I feel for you, how close you are to my heart…

It must be decades now that we’ve known each other. Remember the first time Dad introduced us.. I could vouch then that you would be a passing friend but God had other plans. He sent you to me to assure me of his presence.. always.

I remember the good times we’ve spent together, when I knew I needed to capture them in my heart, I chose you as my friend. You captured them so beautifully.. I can never explain how during those low, desperate times you just popped up with those good times captured which pepped me up immediately.. just like that!

How can I forget those bad, desperate, low moments when I chose no one but you to be near me. I wrenched my entire anger, fear, tears on you but you never said a word...guess God would do just the same.. you listened. And the best part was how at the end of narrating the whole episode, I would feel surprisingly serene and calm. Ironically, I thought I found my true love then.. how wrong I was..

You keep my secrets, remind me of my good times and promise to be with me through all in future. What more can I ask from my lover.. a friend.. a guide.. a mentor. God couldn’t have given me a better gift.

I know I’ve never said this before, but it’s the apt time now. “ I love you”.

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TO MY SWEET HEART, STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART - Santoz - To CRICKET

You are the most beautiful dream, in all my sleep.
You are the fragrance, in all my body.
You are the most beautiful image, in all my fascinations.
You are the joy, in all my sorrows.
You are the light, in all my darkness.
A life without you is like a sea without beech.
My love for you is as green as a grass on the ground.
My love for you is as electric as a crowd in a stadium.
Irrespective of the weather conditions,
Irrespective of the weather forecast,
I keep watching you all the day.
My eyes will light up when I see you, more than the floodlight in the stadium.
You are the one site on which I cannot take my eyes off.
You look beautiful in your Test attire.
You look stunning in your One day attire.
You look sexy in your Twenty-Twenty attire.
You are my sweet heart.
You will remain as my sweet heart.
Just like Sachin’s craze for century; is my craze for you.
You are my dear game – Cricket!!!
With love
from Santoz

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And my first ever one...

My sweetheart

With love in air, I fondly remember how we cuddled and kissed each other when we met first.

Thereafter every rain brough us closer to each other. With you on me, I wish the time would stop. Long drives and walks across the globe over mashy land and hazy glee to office, shopping and sightseeing, it is so much of fun to do and see everything before the rainbow, when others are confined indoors. Splashing water over children who hover and make fun of us.

Lucky am I to have you, my yellow hollow mackintosh jac. ...Will love you till Niagara falls and butter-fly.

With lots of love, hug and kisses,

From my heart to your heart,

Forever Together

(Why not sun or rain? No many could guess to whom it was in office, can any of you?)
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Barring these there were many more unique ones, to the keyboard, to the ground.....wow...Thanks HR for organising this...now waiting for the results...