Sunday, July 19, 2020

Ring for Jeeves @ P.G. Wodehouse - Author

Shashi Tharoor's favourite author is what I call him. Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was born in 1881 in Guildford, the son of a civil servant and educated at Dulwich college. He married in  1914 and took American citizenship in 1955. He was created a knight of the British Empire in the 1975 New Years Honours List. He died on St. Valentine's day, 1975 at the age of ninety-three. 

He published around 100 books. He created two of the best known and best loved characters in twentieth centuries literature in Jeeves, the ever resourceful 'gentleman's personal gentleman', and the good hearted young blundered Bertie Wooster.  Their exploit first collected in carry on, Jeeves, were chronicled in fourteen books and have been repeatedly adapted for television, video and stage. He also created Lord Emsworth, the Hon. Galahad Threepwood, Psmith and the numerous members of the Drones Club. 

P.G. Wodehouse said, 'I believe there are two ways of writing novels. One is mine, making a sort of musical comedy without music and ignoring real life altogether, the other is going right deep down into life and not caring a damn'.

Ring for Jeeves was 44th of 2020.



Only Jeeves novel in which his employer, Bertie Wooster, does not appear (though he is mentioned), and the only Jeeves story narrated in the third person.Set in the early 1950s, the story concerns Bill Belfry, Lord Rowcester, an English aristocrat who is in financial trouble. His future relies on the problem-solving abilities of Jeeves, who is temporarily serving as Bill's butler. Jeeves has been loaned to the former Bill Belfry, now styled the 9th Earl of Rowcester (pronounced just like “Roaster”). 

And so we find young Lord Rowcester living in a decaying pile of medieval stone, desperate for a source of funds to plug the holes in the roof and to provide for his bride-to-be, a veterinary surgeon named Jill Wyvern. It’s all very well for his brother-in-law, Sir Roderick Carmoyle (Rory to his friends), to work at Harrige’s department store. Even Bertie Wooster has fallen in the world, to the extent that he must go to school to learn how to darn his own sox. But Bill wants ready money and fast. While Jill, Rory, and Bill’s sister Monica (a.k.a. “Moke”) think His Lordship is doing something for the Agricultural Board, in fact he has taken Jeeves’ advice and set up shop as a bookie, disguised under a false mustache, an eyepatch, a loud suit and tie, and the name of Honest Patch Perkins.

Things start to heat up when a beefy, red-faced, Anglo-Malay hunter named Captain Biggar wins a double at the horse races and his bookie—our own Honest Patch—finds himself £3,000 short of being able to pay. Bill and Jeeves flee, Biggar pursuing them nearly as far as Rowcester Abbey, where they doff their disguises and brace themselves for what comes next. What comes next is a farce involving a rich, house-hunting American widow with a taste for ghosts; a diamond pendant with a loose clasp; an old white hunter whose noodle has been so cooked by the tropical sun that he has but a light grasp of reality, though he never quite loses touch with the gentlemen’s code; an embarrassing relative who can be relied on to say the wrong thing at the wrong time; a horse race in which so much depends on an unfavored horse closing in from behind; a household staff full of pimply teenagers; and a tough old magistrate who makes up his mind to ask a neighbor for the loan of a horsewhip, only to use it on him.

Besides this, it is a romantic comedy with two couples whose happiness is endangered by the silly goings-on. It a crime story in which the culprit is more worried about making amends for his crime than facing the music. It is an adventure that gives full scope to the ingenuity of Jeeves, who not only knows what horse to bet on, but who can usually come up with a fiendishly clever scheme for dealing with sticky situations. Even when most strongly moved, Jeeves registers emotion by no more than a faint twitch of the eyebrow. Yet, somehow, there is a marvelous eloquence in his utterances such as, “Yes, my lord,” and, “Indeed, my lord,” and, “Most disturbing, my Lord.”

The dialogue sparkles. The protagonist’s nervousness gives spice to the high-spirited high-jinks. And if the narration seems to lack some of the unflagging zest of a first-person Bertie Wooster yarn, it compensates by making one think that the whole business would go off like a bang on the stage. This is well, since Wodehouse adapted this book from his own play Come On, Jeeves, co-authored by Guy Bolton. While it doesn’t have all of the magic we have come to expect from Jeeves-and-Wooster stories, it is filled with a perhaps more grown-up hilarity, based on more grown-up times, and speaking to a more grown-up audience. 


Out of curiosity googled and found:

Jeeves and Wooster Reading List


Lean In Sheryl Sandberg


First chapter titled "The leadership Ambition Gap: What would you do if you weren't afraid?" of the book lays out some of the complex challenges women face and each subsequent 10 chapters focuses on an adjustment or difference that we can make ourselves: increasing our self confidence.  They are titled as Sit on the table; success and likeablity; It's a Jungle gym, not a ladder; Are you my Mentor?; Seek and speak your truth; Don't leave Before you leave; Make your partner a real partner; The Myth of doing it all; Let's start talking about it and working through toward Equality. 

She puts forth that there is no one definition of success or happiness, and not every women want career or children, and do not advocate that all should have the same objective. We each have to chart our own unique course and define which goals fit our lives, values and dreams. Whatever we do, we must lean in, and increasing the number of women in positions of power is a necessary element of true equality. 

Sandberg devotes only three of the book’s 11 chapters to work/family balance. The rest are about how women can take charge of their own careers and push forward at a time when gender bias is more alive and well than most of us may want to admit. 

A book that has a powerful message but that is also full of personal vulnerability and first-hand anecdotes, packed with statistics and footnoted studies that back her points. She writes about her divorce in her 20s and how she felt it signified a personal failing, about how, as a girl, she felt ashamed when people called her “bossy,” and how she was racked with self-doubt while a college student, even though she was near the top of her class at Harvard.

1. It’s incredibly difficult to manage both career and motherhood, even before you give birth.
2. She considers herself a feminist who benefits from the struggles of the activists who battled for women’s rights.
3. She points out that men still run the world.
4. She gets it about women’s compensation.
5. She believes the feminist revolution has stalled.
6. She argues convincingly that internal obstacles hold women back.
7. She makes a strong contrarian point about mentors.
8. Women should ask their partners to do at least half the parenting work.
9. It’s important to have this conversation. -  talk about getting ahead and what it means to seek leadership roles.

This book was 43 rd of 2020.


Saturday, July 11, 2020

The great realisation : Corona


The book on "The great realisation : Sometime you got to get sick, to get better." So true. Yet to be released, most probably in September.


The youtube narration was just super, Tomprobablyfollery:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw5KQMXDiM4
Here are the words to Tom Foolery’s video of his poem “The Great Realisation”
“Tell me the one about the virus again, then I’ll go to bed”.
“But, my boy, you’re growing weary, sleepy thoughts about your head”.
“That one’s my favourite. Please, I promise, just once more”.
“Okay, snuggle down, my boy, but I know you all too well.
This story starts before then in a world I once would dwell”.
“It was a world of waste and wonder, of poverty and plenty,
Back before we understood why hindsight’s 2020
You see, the people came up with companies to trade across all lands
But they swelled and got much bigger than we ever could have planned
We always had our wants, but now, it got so quick
You could have anything you dreamed of, in a day and with a click
We noticed families had stopped talking, that’s not to say they never spoke
But the meaning must have melted and the work life balance broke
And the children’s eyes grew squarer and every toddler had a phone
They filtered out the imperfections, but amidst the noise, they felt alone.
And every day the skies grew thicker, ‘till you couldn’t see the stars,
So, we flew in planes to find them, while down below we filled our cars.
We drove around all day in circles, we’d forgotten how to run
We swopped the grass for tarmac, shrunk the parks ‘till there were none
We filled the sea with plastic because our waste was never capped
Until, each day when you went fishing, you’d pull them out already wrapped
And while we drank and smoked and gambled, our leaders taught us why
It’s best to not upset the lobbies, more convenient to die
But then in 2020, a new virus came our way,
The governments reacted and told us all to hide away
But while we were all hidden, amidst the fear and all the while,
The people dusted off their instincts, they remembered how to smile
They started clapping to say thank you and calling up their mums
And while the car keys gathered dust, they would look forward to their runs
And with the skies less full of voyagers, the earth began to breathe
And the beaches bore new wildlife that scuttled off into the seas
Some people started dancing, some were singing, some were baking
We’d grown so used to bad news, but some good news was in the making
And so when we found the cure and were allowed to go outside
We all preferred the world we found to the one we’d left behind
Old habits became extinct and they made way for the new
And every simple act of kindness was now given its due”
“But why did it take us so long to bring the people back together?”
“Well, sometimes you’ve got to get sick, my boy, before you start feeling better
Now, lie down and dream of tomorrow and all the things that we can do
And who knows, if you dream hard enough, maybe some of them will come true
We now call it The Great Realisation and yes, since then, there have been many
But that’s the story of how it started and why hindsight’s 2020”
The world we dwelled - It was a world of waste and wonder , poverty and plenty.........Then in 2020 the virus came, Government told us to hide....They started calling mom's, clapping, earth began to breathe, people started dancing, singing and baking.....Good news was on it's way......


*Before Corona*
Before Corona I was a longing for a salary hike,
today I am longing for my salary
Before Corona I was longing for my promotion,
today I am holding on to my position
Before Corona I was thinking about quitting my job,
today I am strongly sticking to my job
Before corona I refused to carry my laptop to my home,
today I have moved my office to my home
Before Corona I was planning for a long vacation,
today I am waiting to go back to my workstation
Before Corona I was waiting for a weekend,
today I am waiting when will corona end
Before Corona I was using video call to say hi to my friends and relatives,
today I am on a video call with my neighbours too
Before Corona I was dressed for the occasion,
today there are no occasions to dress
Before Corona I was worried about the future,
today I am worried about the present
*An invisible virus has changed the way we think and live*


As per doctors, there are 3-4 possibilities that might end the widespread of COVID-19.

1. Herd immunity - 60% gets the disease and spread reduces. Millions will die during the course of time.

2. Virus mutation - Virus losing its power over a period of time. Possibility is less considering the amount of strength virus possess currently.

3. Vaccine - A vaccination to prevent the disease. Takes longer time to invent, manufacture and inject to humans.

4. Capsule - If invented, could be the best possible way just like we controlled h1n1 and malaria etc.

Till that time use mask while speaking to reduce the quantity of virus spread leading to mild symptomed disease for the infected. Studies say that the widespread in NY, USA was controlled with people using masks strictly.


What about you? What did you figure out? Do tell.That mad rush made the world ugly, all would be beautiful, if we slow down. Nature, relationship, and everything around and within us. Is mine

Nehru & Bhose Parallel Lives - Rudrangshu Mukherjee

Nehru & Bhose  Parallel Lives by Rudrangshu Mukherjee; is not a biography of the two great men narrating their rich lives; but their relationship, it traces the contours of a friendship that did not quite blossom as political ideologies diverged and delineates the shadow that fell between them. They made and unmade their relationship. 



Their lives moved, less than ten years separated them chronologically; both were born to relative affluence; both went to Cambridge, both gave up what could have been lucrative careers and joined the Indian National movement under the leadership of Gandhi, both were aware of what was happening in Europe and in Asia, and their exposure to these developments radicalized their own ideas; both saw themselves as men of the left and were attracted to socialism. Both were in favor of purna swaraj. These background attracted them. Their disagreement grew from their differing understanding of the course of the national movement, their atitudes towards Gandhi, their views on fascism and from the very diffferent mental landscape they inhabited. Their relationship was not smooth by a poignant one. 

The book is divided into seven chapters: Growing Up, Baptism in Politics, Immersion in the congress, Two Women and Two Books, Party Presidents, The End of The Friendship and Friendship regained?  Titles by themselves speak volumes. 'Nobody has done more harm to me ...than Jawaharlal Nehru' wrote Subhas Chandra Bose in 1938, but he named one of his regiments of the INA after Jawaharlal ?

Gandhi saw Nehru as his chosen heir and Bose as Prodigal son. For Nehru Gandhi was distant, starry-eyed reverence, gift of divine providence. Subhas wanted a leader whom he could steadfastly but not blindly follow, but Gandhi according to him lacked clarity of vision. He believed that by the middle of 1930s the Gandhian phase of the national movement was over, it was time to hand over the struggle to new forms and more dynamic leaders. For Subhas, Gandhi was always Mahatmaji, while for Nehru he was Bapu. C.R. Das became father figure for Subhas and later he called Mussolini - the big boss. 

Both had their initial education in suburbs of India, then went to England for higher education and finally returned to India and had a deep dive into politics. They were together for the first time in 1921 during a Congress meeting, but there was nothing that foretold, they would be providing a new ideological thrust to the congress. Both wanted complete Independence with economic equality and were against dominion constitution but embraced on 26th Jan 1930.  Both were JB's i.e. Jailed by the British several times. Both had two women and two books by the time they were 40. Books by Subash were 'The Indian struggle' and 'An Indian Pilgrim' ; and that of Nehru was Autobiography and The discovery of India.  Their first drift was in 1929 when Nehru was made the party president. Nehru accommodated the differences in the party, while Subhas rejected them.  He called Motilal 'the last intellectual stalwart of the congress' who could influence Gandhi.; and later he saw that in J. Nehru.He was with Nehru at the time of Kamla's death; may be the experience of falling in love with Emilie at that time made him sympathies Nehru for his loss.  At times they felt that they should not quarrel over petty issues, and stand together for larger ideal. When Nehru was president, Subhas was outside India, and when Subhas was president , Nehru was the chairman of National Planning Committee  which was inaugurated on 17th December 1938. For Nehru Socialism was philosophy of life, a vital creed that he held with all his head and heart. Subhas was an extremist and his principle was - all or none. He believed that free India would not be a land of capitalists, landlords and castes, but a Samyavadi Sangh (The Party of Equality). He took the Nazi ideology at it's face value, and was astounded when Nehru wanted to welcome Jewish refugees to India. Soon after his resignation as congress president, he constituted 'forward block' a forum within congress where all radical elements could come together. At a point in time - both considered each other to be a facist. The die was cast for the second time, and their lives came to a fork - Subhas choosing the road less travelled. World war two was for him an opportunity to join hands with the Germany and fight against British, while Congress did not want to participate in it unless they were given freedom. Nehru believed that it was their war, and British was on the other side. Subhas created a draft, and requested Hitler to declare India's Independence. Hitler agreed but kept postponing and waged a war against Soviet Russia. So Subhas plan looked gloom and Indian's supported Soviet. Hitler then advised him to sort help from Japanese, and that he was fighting the war as a soldier and not as a politician. So he left empty handed in February 1943.His vision was India's freedom which was noble and miopic, he could not see anything else.  He was encouraged by the Japanese premier's assurance regarding 'India for the Indians'. 

In July 1943, he 'Began work', as he noted in South East Asia; landing in Singapore from Germany, reviving the Indian National Army and mobilizing two million Indians. He believed this would bring about revolution. He demonstrated his capability in 1943-44. He named his regiments as Rani of Jhansi, Gandhi, Nehru and Azad. Before the battle for Imphal on 6 July 1944; Subhas spoke directly to Gandhi over the radio, and addressed him as the 'Father of our Nation' asking for his blessings and good wishes. He need this and the support of Congress and its million followers, once INA entered Indian soil. He eradicated all religious and cast division in the force; all were freedom fighters and equals. So was his vision of Azad hind. He shifted the head quarters of the provisional government from Singapore to Rangoon on 7th Jan 1944 in preparation for the thrust into India. The Japanese wanted to prevent the British reconquest of Burma while the INA aimed at inciting a civil uprising within India. INA forces were lead by Shaukat Ali Malik and Japanese commander was Mutaguchi. Mutaguchi acted contrary to Subha's advice to cut of retreat from Imphal, who fought back under General William Slim on 10th July 1944 and Subhas announced this on 21 August 1944. By May 1945 Germany and then Japan had surrendered, Subhas was left without allies, but his spirit was indomitable. Allied troops began operation in South East Asia, and to escape he took a flight in the middle of August from Bangkok to Saigon and then to Tokyo via Taipei. Taking off from Taipei the plane crashed and he died from severe burns trying to get off from the burning aircraft. (As Subhas earlier escaped the house arrest, and went to Germany, my personal thought, is did he really die, or lived thereafter in disguise in Germany or elsewhere?  May be some year with his daughter 'Anita Bose Pfaff' and his Austrian wife Emilie Schenkl )

Quiet India movement was announced on 8th August 1942 and al congress leaders were imprisoned on the morning of 9th August. Nehru was in prison from 9 August 1942 to 15 June 1945 for 1040 days. The most exciting period of Subhas's life was dullest in Nehru's. Jawaharlal wept at the passing of a colleague and a friend with who he had once shared the struggle to make India free. Later differences could not diminish the sense of loss nor eradicate the memories of comradeship. He decided to defend the INA prisoners. 

According to Subhas world would end not in a Bang but in a whimper. Subhas would have been a great contender for being the PM of India if he would have been alive, and would have fashioned India under different lines. To Nehru Hitler and japan represented the reactionary forces and their victory meant the victory of reactionary forces, and Subhas joining them was taking a different ideological and political position. Though once friends, they drifted further apart as years went by, as Nehru strongly felt, that it is a bad thing psychologically for the Indian masses to think in terms of being liberated by outside agency. He was against imperialist and facist power, but never had any doubts of Subhas's motives and intentions. 

Speaking on Subhas birthday in 1946, Nehru paid him tribute, and spoke about their relationship. He had also stated 'I do not want for a moment nor do I expect any outside country to help us'. At one point Nehru was even willing to give up non violence but was against fascism or taking outside support. Gandhi, in his turn , thought of Subhas as a son he had unfortunately lost, as an individual who had chosen to sail on a different boat. There was a rebel in Subhas that was evident even in his youth: witness his getting out of Calcutta college, rejecting ICS against all parental and societal expectations, resigning and joining congress a couple of times, this spirit also informed his attitude and dealings with Gandhi. The personal was secondary to Subhas, the political was paramount. So he could not understand Jawaharlal's personal devotion to Gandhi. Subhas had belived that he and Nehru could make history together, and this was the limiting point. In the crevasse of this rivalry of aims fell the tension-fraught and passing friendship of Subhas and Jawaharlal. Their lives could have no tryst. 

Wednesday, July 08, 2020

A Cup of Tea - God's exist

Story 1: Narrated by Bharat Jagmohan Mehra:


During this phase of tension, turmoil and fear this is a story from Kupwara district of Jammu and Kashmir, 15 soldiers lead by their major, are on their way to their new post at Himalayas – Batch there was eagerly waiting to be relived -  It was very, very cold on the way. They felt like having a cup of tea, but could not find any house or tea shop around. It was snowing. Finally they found a dilapidated structure, which looked like a tea stall, but it was locked. 

The team took rest, and wanting to have tea, requested the major if they could break the lock? Though unethical and initially hesitant, the major gave order to break the lock. They could find all the ingredients needed to make tea there. Most of them had two glasses of tea, and was satisfied. While leaving, the major kept money, few thousand rupees below the sugar pot. 

After their posting, while returning, the shop was open, and there was an old man, who narrated his story. And while discussing on God, he said God is actually there – I have proof. Few days before, his son was attacked by terrorists, he had no money; but took his son to hospital. When he returned, he saw, the lock was broken, was scared all was lost; but when he got inside, he found, few thousand rupees below the sugar pot. It was the time, when he very much needed it. 

Order in the eyes of the major was clear – keep quite. A rare sight – Major hugged the old man, and there was moist in the eyes of the officer.

Today every one need to be the messager of God – have faith, follow the path of truth.

Help anyone, in any way – do whatever bit we can – Let everyone feel, God is there.

Let us walk on the path of Truth and compassion.

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Story 2:

Short story by Katherine Mansfield which appeared in The Dove's Nest and Other stories.Rosemary Fell, a wealthy young married woman, goes to  shop at a florist's and in an antique shop. Before going to the car, Rosemary is approached by Miss Smith, a poor girl who asks for enough money to buy tea. Instead, Rosemary drives the girl to her plush house, determined to show her "that dreams do come true" and "that rich people did have hearts." At the Fells' home, Miss Smith eats her fill of food and tea. She then begins to tell Rosemary of her life until Rosemary's husband, Philip, comes in. Although initially surprised, Philip recovers and asks to speak to Rosemary alone.

In the library, Philip conveys his disapproval. When Rosemary resists dismissing Miss Smith, Philip tries another, more successful, tactic: He plays to Rosemary's jealousy and insecurity by telling her how pretty he thinks Miss Smith is. Rosemary retrieves three five-pound notes and, presumably, sends the girl away (a far cry from Rosemary's first vow to "look after" and "be frightfully nice to" Miss Smith). Later, Rosemary goes to her husband and informs him that "Miss Smith won't dine with us tonight." She first asks about the antique box from the morning, but then arrives at her true concern, quietly asking Philip, "Am I pretty?" The story ends with this question.
Being asked for the price of the cup of tea sets the story in motion, and at the end Miss Smith turns out not to be Rosemary's cup of tea.

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cup of tea

  1. a favorite or well-suited thing, activity, etc.: golf isn't his cup of tea
  2. a thing to be taken into consideration or account; matter
    used esp. in the phrase a different cup of tea

Thursday, July 02, 2020

Financial Wellness

Even if you're normally levelheaded, "your brain on money" is different, and it can keep you financially stuck. In this course, financial therapist Amanda Clayman reveals ways you can adjust your financial habits and manage your cash flow in a positive way. Amanda helps you evaluate your current stress level and understand how your financial attitudes developed in the first place. She further helps you break down the stressful stimulus response behavior, separate your emotions from the noise, and gain a clear understanding of your situation and your options—and the consequences of past decisions. Last, she presents her framework for change, in a four-step model for managing your personal cash flow.

Financial wellness:

Cognitive
Emotional
Physical
Interpersonal
The Core Essentials:

Doing Vs. Being
Yes….and?
Baby Steps
Simple Parts
Capacity check
Time Frames
Resource check

 Section is divided into three parts:


Model of healthy financial decision is the same.

More than Just money:
 Money has meaning

- What does money mean to you? That simple question probably prompted a lightning fast association. Some people might flash on happiness or a burden. Even before there's a word, there might have been a feeling, somewhere between excitement and uh-oh. On one level, money is a numerical tool that provides a fluid means of exchange and storing value. But money also taps into our lives and culture on multiple levels, from family dynamics to social norms, from our sense of survival to our need for belonging. Money means far more than just rational decisions about dollars and cents. For example, have you ever known someone who's really tight with a dollar? I'm not talking about someone who has to be careful to make their income stretch. I'm talking about a person who scrimps beyond any financial reason. This person may frustrate those around them when they balk at paying their fair share, or take extreme efforts to do something on the cheap. I once met with a woman who was so worried about having enough money in the future that she would live on the barest minimum while socking away every dollar she could. Even when she lost her job and was living on unemployment, she continued to try to save. When she was unable to manage, she asked her parents for help. She came to me because she was terrified they would stop sending her money if they learned how much she had just sitting in the bank. For her, the idea of having to withdraw any money from savings, even to keep a roof over her head, flooded her with panic. Is this behavior rational? Most of us would agree that it's not. But sometimes it's hard to see when a basic belief about money, like the benefit of saving for the future, is shaped by our emotional needs instead of a clear-eyed assessment of the facts. Let's look at the ways in which money has meaning beyond just the numbers. The ways your financial life reflects your expectations of how someone like me should think about and use money. The ways that money determines the groups you belong to, reinforces your important relationships, or causes you to be excluded. The ways you feel  prepared or not prepared to direct money and assert your right to be in charge. The ways that money protects you from harm or future need. The ways that money itself is a source of fear, degradation, or shame. So where do these associations come from? In general, meaning gets attached to money in two ways. One is through our previous experiences, messages, and relationships. What we see and learn as children has an especially profound effect on how we think about and use money as adults. The other way is simply in effect of how our brains work. In his book, "Thinking Fast and Slow," psychologist Daniel Kahneman outlines how mental tasks can be thought of as falling within one of two systems. System one, fast system, is basically our automatic pilot. It's the way we engage the world. System one senses danger, perceives patterns, and makes inferences based on certain cognitive shortcuts called heuristics. This system is fast because it uses our past experiences to make predictions about what to expect in the here and now. If you've ever felt in your gut for example that five dollars is an obscene price to pay for a slice of pizza, you're not checking your bank balance or assessing the cost per ingredient to make that decision. That reaction is just system one quickly skimming through your pizza history and coming up with a handy belief about what one should pay for a slice. Our second system, system two, is activated when a task requires specific attention and mental effort, such as reading a textbook or following directions to an unfamiliar destination. You might think that most of our financial choices would be handled by system two, but, think again. Unless we're performing a complex evaluation or trying to do something different with our money, system one will quickly use meaning as a way to help navigate the volume of simple decisions we face each day. I want to be clear that these associations with money are completely natural and the goal here is not to strip them away. Instead, we begin by appreciating that while they help us to act efficiently, sometimes they can be obstacles to the life we want, like the woman in my earlier example who realized that her fear of being unprepared for the future hurt her ability to deal with the challenges today. Simply bringing awareness is always the first step.
 

Your brain on money
- How much would you pay for a subscription to The Economist? Even assuming this is something of interest to you, there's still a good chance you'd struggle to come up with a good price without a little context. In this video, we'll examine the ways that human brains are designed to avoid risk and seek reward, and we'll explore a few of the mental shortcuts and biases that can skew the way our system one perceives the facts of a financial choice. Let's take a look at this ad, which caught the notice of renowned behavioral economist, Dan Ariely. You probably noticed something funny right away. How can the magazine subscription and the magazine plus web subscription have exactly the same price? Was it a mistake? Dr. Ariely, himself, was so curious about this ad's intention, after all, you'd think The Economist would have figured out how to price and advertise their own product, but he turned it into an experiment. When Dr. Ariely showed this ad to 100 MIT students and asked which offer they would choose, 16% selected the economist.com subscription, zero chose the print subscription, and 84% chose the print and digital combo offer. Sounds reasonable, right? But when the print only option was removed from the list, something very curious happened. Now the percentage of people interested in the digital only subscription jumped from 16 to 68%, and the number who selected the combo dropped precipitously from 84 to 32%. Now it doesn't take an MIT student to recognize that paying the same price for print only as for the print plus digital subscription was a bad deal, so why did it make such an extraordinary difference in people's preferences even though they didn't choose it? This is called the decoy effect and it happens when we're presented with three options, one of which is similar, but not quite as good as one of the other options. It enhances the appeal of the similar and slightly better option. It turns out that human beings are highly susceptible to context cues when we're trying to figure out something's value. Nowhere is this trait more finely exploited than in the very scientific calibration behind, of all things, restaurant menu design. One of the first fancy restaurants I ever went to was Balthazar in New York City. Take a glance here at their menu. Where does your eye almost immediately go? Clearly it's the upper right corner with the illustration of a platter of oysters and the large font red lettering. While, obviously, delicious, you might quickly dismiss the idea of a dish that costs upward of $150. However, without your even knowing it, this price has already altered how you will evaluate the prices of the other dishes. $34 for salmon, must be a bargain, right? This effect is called anchoring and it's the human tendency to rely too heavily or to anchor on the first piece of information we see when making a particular decision. Because this effect is so strong, it commonly drives how different price points are presented. This is why, for example, requests for charitable giving usually lead with the highest level of support listed at the top. Because when we're first asked for $200, it's easier to say yes to 50, but our true financial achilles heel has to do with the power of free. A simple buy one, get one free offer can light up the reward centers of the brain, while at the same time neutralizing the sense of risk or loss that usually occurs when we part with money. This high reward, low risk combo often tempts us to buy things that we didn't even want merely seconds ago. So the next time you're choosing between feature bundles, scanning a menu, or clicking to add another item to your shopping cart, take a moment to ask yourself, what is it that's telling me that this is the reasonable choice? Am I swayed by the decoy effect, anchoring on a high value, or influenced by the power of free? Our automatic thinking system clearly cuts some corners as it quickly frames and executes decisions. In fact, these are only three of the well over 100 identified cognitive biases. Luckily, we're not solely reliant on system one. Even by asking ourselves, how do I know what's reasonable here? We can bring conscious attention to the decision. This gives system two a chance to balance out the emotions and mental shortcuts by adding rationale deliberation to the process.

 
A picture of financial youth

- To really understand the personal meaning of money, we need to go back to childhood. As tiny, dependent creatures, human beings are programmed to be sensitive to the emotions of our caregivers. Anything that pushes grown-ups buttons will be noticed by children and this makes money of particular interest. But, in a child's eyes, money is also a mysterious somewhat magical force. Lacking the full context and understanding of financial matters, children make their own interpretations about money's inherent attraction or power or danger. Think of a money statement that you heard growing up. Maybe a rule about money, like "You can never have enough of it" or "Only bad people care about it." Maybe the rule was a little more subtle, like when someone swerved in front of your mom or dad's car and they grumbled, "Look at that jerk in the Mercedes "who thinks he owns the road!" Suddenly selfish behavior and luxury vehicles are being linked in a way that may have nothing to do with why that driver cut you off. These early messages and experiences have a profound effect on us, effecting each generation in turn. Grandparents who suffered and scrimped during the Depression might create such a frugal environment that parents rebel, refusing to ever deprive themselves or discipline their spending. After growing up in such a financially chaotic household, can you guess who their kids will probably take after? That's right, just like grandma and grandpa, they'll want to control every nickel. Our families provide our first lesson in how money works, how people handle it, talk about it, or don't. One useful tool for exploring your money legacy is the financial genogram. Genograms were first developed for therapeutic settings by Monica McGoldrick and Randy Gerson in the mid-1980s and have been adapted over the years to be used in a variety of situations. Our financial genogram is a way of depicting the relationships, events, and conflicts that constitute your family's financial past. Here's the key for how to draw the central people and events. Start with yourself and, if you have them, your spouse and your children. Traditionally, when the genogram is used in family therapy, we use squares to represent males and circles for females. This genogram shows a man and a woman. The solid line between them indicates that they're married and the bracket and two circles below show that they have two daughters together. We can use other types of lines to represent other types of relationships. A broken line means a divorce or similarly terminated relationship. Or an X on the line means the relationship ended because the person passed away. Now we move up the family tree to show parents, grandparents, and siblings. In this example, we can see that the woman from our first family system has a sister and a brother and that her parents are divorced. She has an uncle, her father's brother, and her mother was an only child. Once the people and basic relationships are in place, we can write a few words about each person's attitudes and experiences with money. We might include how the person earned a living, what his or her lifestyle was like, and other significant events such as a job loss, inheritance, or medical issue that had a major impact on his or her financial life. Now we draw in how money was a factor in relationships. Let's say that after the divorce the woman in our example, then a child of course, went with her siblings to live with their mother where money was tight. We can show how the mother may have praised her son for handing over his earnings from a part-time job, while openly complaining about how much it costs to keep the young daughter in ballet lessons. Why is this type of information important? Because any time there is a strong emotional dynamic combined with a financial message, you can bet that it's going to be coded into a belief about money. Over time these become the basis of the identity, affiliation, responsibility, safety, and threat categories from money has meaning. Not every example is so clear and dramatic, and at this stage your financial genogram should just be a place for you to start to jot down ideas, associations, and memories. In the accompanying exercise file, we'll take you deeper into the step by step process of setting up your own financial genogram. We'll include questions to help you further explore the role money has played in your family's journey. Going through this exercise can bring childhood messages and experiences into the full light of adult understanding, clarifying the emotional forces or gaps in learning that may be limiting you in the present day.

 
A matrix of competing needs (Doing Vs. Being)
- When people talk to me about their financial frustrations, one phrase I often hear is "I'm just bad with money." I usually respond by asking the person to be more specific and describe to me what it is they do that's so bad. This is an example of using the doing versus being principle from our core essentials. The purpose of making a doing versus being distinction is to bring the "bad with money" label out of the realm of identity, and into the realm of behavior. Identity provides meaning to a pattern of actions that we then internalize as something that's true about ourselves. Even when this identity is negative, we have a harder time changing when we see it as a part of who we are. Behavior on the other hand, is something we can work with. For example, some common themes I hear of how a person is bad with money include not saving enough or avoiding opening bills and missing due dates. But unlike something that describes our way of being, these ways of doing are actionable. We can bring awareness to how, when, and why we do them, and create strategies to do them differently. That doesn't mean that change is easy. We first need to understand that financial choices are determined by a whole matrix of competing needs. The most important are basic physical needs like food, shelter, and safety. We have to eat and keep a roof over our heads. But beyond those basic needs, money often plays a key role in how we regulate our emotions and meet psychological or social needs. We might buy a new outfit to feel more confident for an upcoming interview, or decide to meet a friend for coffee when we're feeling stressed and lonely. But perhaps the trickiest factor is the timeliness of the need. Is this something we require right now? Or will we need it in the future? For instance, we all know that we need to save for retirement. Failing to do so can put our future security in serious jeopardy. But a goal this big requires sustained effort and sacrifices over a long period. For a payoff that may be decades down the road. In the meantime, there will be a million instances where the money that you intend to save could be spent elsewhere. This summer, you decide to travel for a family wedding. And in the fall, you find out that your kid needs braces. Or maybe it's been a tough week, and you just want to buy yourself a new pair of boots and not read the 401k prospectus. What do we do when our needs compete with each other? Expecting ourselves to always be self-disciplined isn't the answer. Self-discipline is a resource. It gets used up when we've already made a lot of decisions or when we're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. We can replenish it with rest or self-care. But we don't always have it in the tank at the moment of choice. In fact, we can actually measure how our mental reserve gets exhausted. In research by social psychologist Roy Baumeister, subjects were asked to turn down sugary treats or resist crying during a sad movie. In another experiment, they had to choose between a long list of consumer products. After these tasks, they were given a classic test for self-discipline. Holding your hand in ice water for as long as possible. It's pretty uncomfortable. So the impulse of course, is to pull your hand out. Those subjects who hadn't had to turn down dessert, hold back tears, or think about candles versus T-shirts, were able to keep their hands in the ice water for an average of 67 seconds. The other group, 28 seconds, less than half. Giving into impulse doesn't mean you're bad with money. The key is to anticipate the ways that your future needs are in competition with immediate needs, and create a cashflow structure that provides the best balance between them.

 

Money as a mental trigger
- So far we've looked at the multiple ways that we experience money, from symbolic and meaning-filled to physiological and subject to the operations of our brains and bodies. Let's take a moment to focus how, in some instances, financial stress can trigger a powerful physical response that overwhelms our ability to think and act clearly. Last year, a client of mine learned that she had made a mistake on her tax return when she received a notice from the IRS demanding she pay several thousand dollars. She told me that as she read the notice, her muscles tensed and she could hear her pulse pounding in her ears. This is the fight or flight response that indicates our amygdala has fired and the limbic system of the brain has been activated. The limbic system is responsible for putting our bodies into a state of alert when we perceive a possible threat. And threat doesn't mean just physical danger. As we grow up, our limbic system encodes any and all manner of things that make us feel afraid, from public speaking, to being in a crowded elevator, to receiving a notice from the IRS. For many of us, money triggers the fight or flight response quite routinely. This might be because you're under a high level of financial stress, or you may be particularly sensitive to some of the emotional aspects of money. Your body actually can't tell the difference. The response is the same. If money is a trigger for you, then you've probably already discovered how difficult it is to think your way out of fear. Remember, we're wired to survive. So our bodies will prioritize a threat response over other mental functions. Blood flow in the brain is directed away from higher level cognitive operations, meaning it's literally impossible for you to think clearly until you've brought this reaction under control. We need to calm down, not try to problem solve. When you notice this happening to you, try some of these tips. Take deep breaths. One of the key features of the fight or flight response is quick, shallow breathing. When you take deep breaths, you tell the amygdala to slow the release of stress hormones and begin the flow of endorphins. Do a simple physical activity with a tangible result. Discharge some of that physical agitation by moving your body and restore your sense of control with a task. Load the dishwasher, jog around the block, do five minutes of yoga. Get outside. Our environment has a direct effect on reducing stress, especially if we can be in sunshine or nature. If you can go for a quick walk, even better. As you also get to combine being outside with moving your body. Take mini breaks. Trying to push through tension only increases it. When working on financial tasks that cause stress, give yourself permission to pause and replenish your energy and focus. Set the timer for 20 minutes, and when the timer goes off, take five minutes to stretch and clear your head. Finally, connect with people. Social animals that we are, we're wired to be soothed by the presence of others. Invite a trusted partner to join in money tasks, talk through options, or just make a plan to grab a cup of tea with a friend. Using these techniques will help you to meet the body where it is and transition out of the fight or flight response into a state of calm focus. Once you're there, then you can address the source of your money worry and more effectively problem solve.

 

The process of Financial Behavioral change
 

 

Understanding stress and money
- When your financial life is in balance, it doesn't necessarily mean that everything is perfect. But there's an overall sense of harmony in those areas of life where money provides meaning. And there's a system to meet your everyday needs and long-term goals. You may not have a string of fat zeros on all of your accounts, but you do have a plan. And your choices are in alignment with that plan. But let's say that that's not the case. When money is out of balance, the way that we first notice that is an emotional cue. We feel stressed. Stress is uncomfortable and unpleasant, and that's the point. Its job is to get us to wake up and identify what needs to be addressed. In fact, most of us want to do that as quickly as possible so that the stress will go away. Enter system one, our fast and automatic system, which jumps in to provide an interpretation of events and tell us what we should do. Sometimes it's accurate, but sometimes it simply repeats an old childhood message, like you just have to work harder. System one is not set up to deal with complexity. And financial issues are often complex. In order to respond effectively to the stress cue, we need more than just our gut reaction. The first step is to notice when something around money feels off or causes concern. Tune in. Observe what you're doing when the feeling comes up, or if there's a particular thought or image. Next, we notice the message. The original interpretation that comes from system one isn't necessarily wrong. We just want to be careful not to treat it like truth with a capital T. Finally, we focus on tolerating the feeling. We don't need that unpleasant feeling to go away entirely. The key is to stay in a functional zone. When there's no stress, there's no motivation. We stay firmly in the status quo. When we're at the top of the chart, we lose the ability to think and act clearly, and need to use our techniques to calm the limbic system back down. When we're in this middle zone, we're motivated to explore change while still able to do the higher level analysis that system two provides. This is how we end up with a more clear-eyed and informed solution, rather than a knee-jerk response. We can even use another one of our core essentials called yes...and? to help us out. Being conscious about money often puts us in touch with emotions like frustration, anger, or fear. Yes...and? acknowledges the emotion, but redirects focus back to the task at hand. If we're working on an exercise to track spending for example, and you notice that you're feeling particularly annoyed because you wish you could just buy a bagel and coffee without having to stop and write it down. You basically tell yourself, "Yes, I am frustrated right now. "And I'm going to log this 395 and go on with my day." We don't ignore the feeling, we don't judge or analyze it, we just notice it and try to bring attention back to the action. Learning to tune into and tolerate the feelings that come up when exploring money is something we will continue to work on. Don't worry if it feels a bit awkward at first. With practice, it will get easier to know when stress is telling you to do something and when it's just a distraction.

 

Making friends with ambivalence and resistance
- For many of us, the solution for how to bring money into balance is not always clear. We know from the matrix of competing needs that sometimes making a new financial choice will address one goal, but conflict with another. For example, in my role as director of the Financial Wellness Program for the Actors Fund, I often see this dilemma present itself as the choice between work that's fulfilling and lucrative but not always available versus lower-wage work that's more available, but squeezes the ability to pursue creative projects. Which is better? Reliable but low-wage and low-meaning work or continuing to take the gamble on rewarding work that might also lead to more opportunities? People often wrestle with this question for years, while the consequences of indecision add up. Without a crystal ball, we don't always know the right thing to do. And thus, it's common to feel stuck between something that's not working and that unknown something else. But just as we reframe stress as an important and valuable signal in the change process, we can do the same with that feeling of being stuck. The two terms we most often associate with feeling stuck are ambivalence and resistance. Ambivalence is when we have strong opposing feelings about something. We want to do it and we don't want to do it. Ambivalence is not a sign that you're not ready to change. In fact, it's considered part of how we prepare ourselves for something new, by ensuring is this change really necessary? Remember, human beings are wired to be creatures of habit. We continue following familiar patterns for as long as possible, because that's where our automatic and intuitive systems work best. You work through ambivalence by listening to what it's trying to tell you. One tool we can use to explore conflicting feelings is a list of pros and cons. I actually do this as a group exercise in the first session of my Managing Cashflow for Artists workshop. I ask members, what are some bad or unpleasant things that might happen if you choose to continue with this group? When we've written down everything from, "Takes time I could be doing something else," to "Don't want to find out, I have to work even more," we then look at all of the positives that might come from continuing. What are your pros and cons for continuing to explore changes to your financial life? Will it take effort, but have the potential to work better? Maybe you have to give up something, but could also open up to a new goal. The idea is to get these thoughts out of your head from the scariest and the grandest to the most trivial. It actually doesn't matter which side of the list is longer. This isn't an exercise in quantity. It's about making full acknowledgement of your conflicting feelings, and moving forward with your eyes open. The next place we often get stuck is feeling resistant. Resistance is the act of opposing or struggling with alterations to the status quo. Resistance is like friction. It's the drag we feel when we're trying to move forward. People are often surprised by how hard it can be to do something new, even when they feel totally committed to doing it. Sometimes, it looks like fear of making the wrong choice or not knowing how to do something new. We might feel stuck wishing the old way still worked. We might struggle with feeling powerless in the face of change that we don't want, or just exhausted by the effort. The core theme here is a feeling, an emotion that comes up, usually around a task we don't want to do. And resistance is our human way of saying, "Slow down, resolve this feeling." Even positive change involves letting go of something in order to make room for something new. So, the function of resistance is to work through that loss, and make sure we're not inadvertently sacrificing something important in our rush to fix. To work through it, we can try the refocusing technique of yes, and from our core essentials. But if that doesn't work, we can use baby steps. The baby steps technique is a way of staying in control when you have strong feelings by modifying what you're asking yourself to do. Let's use our tracking example again. If you're recording expenses and that emotional cue of I hate, I wish, I fear is so strong that it's tempting you to give up, ask yourself, "What is a smaller piece of this task "that I can commit to?" You might give yourself permission to just collect receipts and log them at the end of the day, instead of entering it right after your transaction. Sometimes, just giving yourself permission to do less is all it takes to find your motivation again. But even if you do end up with a modified task, that's okay. The important thing is you stay in the driver's seat and keep yourself moving forward. Trying to simply push yourself through feelings of ambivalence and resistance is a major reason why people burn out and give up. But these cues are nothing to be afraid of. Rather, embrace them as a way to make sure the changes you seek are the right changes for you.

Setting goals using the core essentials
- This video will round out our list of the core essentials, a series of tips and techniques that help us achieve our goals. In it I'll also introduce you to a man named Simon who used the core essentials to turn his finances around while navigating a sensitive period of his life. Let's begin by recapping the tools we've already touched on. Doing versus being, identify specific actions and behaviors you can take as opposed to wishing you were different. Yes, and, when feelings come up, notice them without judgment and bring focus back to action. Baby steps, modify a task instead of giving up when feeling overwhelmed. These three tools have to do with self-organization, with keeping ourselves centered and focused as we work on a larger goal. But we also need to make sure our goal itself is well-organized. How do we do that? Simple parts, take a large or complex goal and break it down into smaller prioritized items. Capacity check, ensure that you have the necessary time and energy for a given task relative to other priorities and commitments in your life. Time frames, assign a specific time frame for goals, priorities, and activities. Resource check, identify any outside support, information, or inputs that are necessary to reach a goal. All together, the core essentials are like the navigation system that gets you from financial point A to financial point B. Let me demonstrate by telling you Simon's story. I met Simon a few years ago when he sought help dealing with his debt. Simon had just completed a treatment program for alcohol addiction and was newly sober. Unfortunately, before he entered treatment, Simon's life had gotten pretty chaotic. He'd racked up tens of thousands of dollars on his credit cards, and many of those accounts were already in collections. Thinking about the enormity of the situation made Simon feel depressed, which was a dangerous trigger for him picking up and drinking again. How did the core essentials help Simon get his life back on track? No matter how badly Simon wanted his debt gone, paying it off was going to require steady effort over a period of time. So first we used the simple parts principle to make sure he was able to meet his basic expenses and pay more than his debt minimums. This helped him feel safe and in control. Next we focused on how to repay the debt. We looked at different time frames to strike a balance between Simon's desire to get rid of his debt quickly with the need to have some room in his budget for self-care. Yes, the longer it took him to pay back his debt, the more it would cost. But Simon decided that he was more likely to stick with his plan if it didn't make him feel like he was living in total deprivation. To keep track of his progress, Simon wanted to spend about a half hour per week looking over his numbers. We did a capacity check to make sure that this plan would fit with his other commitments. But even the best plan is still bound to be difficult at times. Simon reminded himself that he could use the Yes, and tool to refocus himself when he was feeling particularly regretful or ashamed and the baby steps principle when the effort felt too overwhelming. He also asked a trusted friend to be his money buddy, someone he could talk to each month to share progress and get encouragement. This is a great example of doing a resource check to make sure all needs are met. The core essentials allowed Simon to recognize what he needed to take care of himself today so that he could make sustained progress toward his long-term goals. As we unpack the elements of your financial life in the next section of the course, we'll continue to use the core essentials to help you bring money into balance.

  
The wheel of change
 
Introducing the wheel of change
- If you've tried to create a cash flow plan before, it may have gone something like this. Find yourself very stressed about not having the money for something, say, an upcoming bill. Berate yourself for those times you spent money that you wish you hadn't and promise yourself that you'll stop doing that. Think of other categories of spending that seem unnecessary. Forbid yourself from ever indulging in them again. Write down some numbers that reflect this future of brown bread and evenings at home. Stick to it for a while, then slide back into old ways and old habits, repeat. This is not the picture of healthy financial management. This is using a budget as a form of punishment for past mistakes. To do better, we need a way to disrupt old patterns, turn down the volume on limiting beliefs, and double check our assumptions to make sure we're not getting tripped up by mental shortcuts and cognitive biases. We do this in four steps. These steps are gather information, analyze, decide, and act. In the first stage, gathering info, we'll get clear about how and when money comes in and how and when it goes out. In stage two, we analyze the information we just compiled. We introduce our model of cash flow priorities, determine where we stand, and identify options for ways to bring money into balance. In stage three, it's decision time. We come up with a first draft of our new cash flow plan. We figure out where we want to make changes in our finances and think through what we need to do to make those changes real. And finally, in the last stage, we organize and implement the plan with an eye on developing a sustainable financial management routine to support it. Though the process itself sounds simple, you'd be surprised how hard it is to hold ourselves to it. The challenge is that we need to do these steps in order and to completion. That means we can't be gathering information and analyzing it at the same time. We can't jump to a conclusion based on our first hunch. And the kicker, we can't change anything until we've done all of the steps, all of them. Following these steps helps us stay in that functional zone by not rushing the process. We give our deliberate, analytical system, too, the opportunity and materials to do its job. Now you're not just reacting to financial stress. You're weighing options, resolving dilemmas, and laying the foundation for your commitment to long-term financial wellness. Let's get started.
 

Gathering information about your finances
- We begin by looking at how money goes in and out in your life today. Please take a moment to download the Financial Wellness Cash Flow Worksheet attached to this video. The outflow side is divided into four sections, committed monthly expenses and flexible monthly expenses, and committed periodic expenses and flexible periodic expenses. Now, committed in our case doesn't mean that you can't ever change these things. It just means that it's not something that you're deciding on a moment to moment basis. At some point you've already signed that lease or contract for your cellphone plan, you know you should expect a bill from your energy company, and so on. The items in this category are all pretty easy to find out. Some of them you might already know off the top of your head, but a quick review of your bank or credit card statement will confirm the exact amounts. You'll notice on the worksheet that we specify credit card minimums. Even if you always try to pay more than that for now we ask you to write down the minimums. First of all, only the minimum is a committed expense, anything above that is considered discretionary. And number two, when people make the mistake of trying too aggressively to pay down their balances they often leave themselves short when other expenses are due. And what do they use to cover those expenses? That's right, the plastic. So for now, if you carry credit card debt only write down the minimum payments in your committed expenses section. Next, we get to the flexible monthly expenses. These can be a little trickier. Some like clothing or haircuts may not fall neatly into a monthly framework. Review the last three months of your bank and credit card statements to find all of the expenditures you see in the flexible monthly expenses section. Add up the individual categories and take a monthly average. For smaller out-of-pocket expenditures like coffee or convenience food I recommend tracking your spending for a few weeks. Tracking is not only a great way to be more conscious with your money, it will also give you the highest degree of accuracy. Record what you spend as you spend it, either on your phone or a piece of paper tucked in your wallet, or by making a little sleeve to keep around your credit or debit card. Each week take all of the lists that you've created and organize the individual expenditures into the categories on our monthly flexible expenses sheet. Just note that the last week of the month will actually be longer than seven days as you continue to the 30th or 31st. Unless it's February the month won't fall neatly into 28 days. Many people find it tough to track without reducing their spending. Either they're uncomfortable with the feelings that come up around it, or it's just inconvenient so they do it less. Remember, at this point we're trying to get a baseline measurement of what you normally spend, no changes. So two tips. One, when you're writing this information down pretend you are a neutral scientific observer and you are your own subject. Your job is to get the data. The other tip is to refer to your core essentials. Maybe you need to take a yes and moment to notice your feelings and bring awareness back to the task. Or maybe you need to use baby steps. Next let's look at periodic expenses. On the committed side we'll have things like insurance premiums or medical deductibles. On the flexible side you might have holiday costs or travel. Once again, you'll need to review your bank and credit card statements to figure out how much and when you've spent on these items. The when is important because we'll use that information to figure out when you need that money to be there in the future. Now we can look at income. If you receive an annual salary this is easy to determine, but for freelancers or entrepreneurs income is often variable and this can make cash flow planning much harder. Most of my clients are creative professionals so I see this every day. Let's identify all of your income sources and think about whether the money you receive is regular, seasonal, or unpredictable. We still consider an income source as regular even if it ranges a bit, like if you get paid by the hour or shift and those can vary from week to week. Just capture the range and multiply it out for the month. Next, notice if you have any seasonal sources of income. Maybe your work is influenced by the cycle of the school year, or fluctuations in the hospitality industry that would cause you to have boom periods and dry spells. Finally, there are those income sources that are not predictable at all. Many freelancers and entrepreneurs are constantly hustling for business, but they don't have control over when they're going to book a gig. Feel like this is a bit complicated? That's okay, it's not supposed to look like a plan just yet. All we want right now is the best description of how and when money goes out and how and when money comes in. When we have all of that together then we can start to ask some important questions.

 
Analyze your cash flow status
- Now that you've gathered all of the information about your income and expenses, our next step is to determine your cash flow position and priorities. We can organize cash flow priorities using the 3S Model. 3S stands for safety, stability, security. Priority number one, safety. cash flow safety means you can meet basic food, shelter, and health needs for yourself and any dependents on time, without incurring debt. Priority number two, stability. Cash flow stability means you're able to meet your basic safety needs, and can start to prepare a financial cushion for needs and goals that are not immediate. This cushion, or contingency fund, is there to cover periodic expenses, dips in income, or any financial surprises. The size of people's contingency funds vary. Most experts recommend having at least three months of expenses reserved, but a good rule of thumb is the more your income and expenses swing, the more you'll need to have put aside. I like calling this a contingency fund instead of an emergency fund, because I want you to feel comfortable taking money out when an appropriate need arises, and then putting money back. These kinds of situations are usually not as dramatic as an emergency. When you're at this point and you're building up your financial cushion, you also know that you can afford to pay more than just the minimums on your credit cards. And finally, priority number three, security. When you're paying your bills on time, not incurring debt, and you have a contingency fund, now you can start to make progress toward long-term financial security goals like retirement, asset-building, or saving for your children's education. Sounds great, right? You can get there. Let's figure out how. The first question is, where am I in the 3S model? Knowing where you are is a way of using our simple parts principle from the core essentials. The journey to reach your loftiest financial dreams starts today. With your first step right from where you are. Next we ask, what challenges do I face to reach the next stage? Usually people respond with, I don't have enough money. I get it, but let's try to drill a little deeper than that. Some common answers could be, I have to use my credit cards just to survive. I'm not even at cash flow safety. Or, I'm okay most months, but I'm not prepared for periodic expenses when they're due. Or maybe, my money comes in in unpredictable lump sums, and I don't know how to organize it. No matter what your answer is, be as specific as possible. Exactly how much is your monthly deficit? How much do you need to have on hand for periodic expenses? How many months do you sometimes go between gigs? Review the information in your cash flow worksheet, and take a moment to write down the specific challenge you face to reach the next stage. Now we focus on generating options. What possible changes could I make to resolve my challenge? Notice the plural possible changes. It's good to just brainstorm, and come up with as many options as you can at this point. Don't rule anything out, and don't commit to anything. For example, if you have a deficit of X dollars, make a list of all the ways you could trim your spending, boost your income, or do a combination of both to reach that number. Maybe your monthly cash flow was fine, but you repeatedly find yourself short for periodic expenses. One option is to reduce some areas of your regular spending so that you can build a portion of those costs into your monthly plan. Or consider my friend Jane Barratt's advice in her Personal Finance fundamentals course, when she talks about the value of a side hustle to help you reach new financial goals. Though generating multiple options take some effort, one of the key benefits is that it helps us regain a sense of control when financial stress has us feeling trapped. It can also open our eyes to possibilities we may not have considered before, and pave the way to take our financial life in a new direction.

 
Making a financial action plan
- Congratulations on all of your work so far. Gathering information about income and expenses and generating options for change is already a huge accomplishment. In this video, we will decide which of your identified options you're going to try first and create a plan to implement it. In general, the easiest changes that you can make are things that are of little importance to you, you only have to choose once or very infrequently, and meet a need that's easy to satisfy in other ways. Let's use an example to demonstrate. Say you have a regular salary which reliably covers your safety needs, but you often find yourself short when periodic expenses come up and you have no financial cushion. You don't have any ideas for a side hustle, so your first plan is to look for expenses that you can cut to the tune of $100 a month. Your options are your $110 premium cable bill, to stop buying prepared food at between five or $10 a day, or start riding your bike to work and saving an average of $100 on monthly transportation costs. Which is best? Well, if you don't watch much TV, my recommendation would be to cut the cable cord. There are other digital streaming solutions available at a fraction of the cost, and once you've made the transition, you're done. That doesn't mean it's not a good idea to make your own food or bike more places. In fact, doing more of those things could also allow you to contribute to your contingency fund or speed up future savings. But committing to changing those daily habits requires consistent self-discipline to get the same bang for your buck, and we know from the matrix of competing needs not to make self-discipline our go-to financial plan. Next ask yourself what would need to change in my lifestyle in order to implement this plan? This is a form of capacity check that is often overlooked. So, for example, if you're committing to cooking more, you need to consider how that changes both your schedule and your grocery budget. What are ideas for some potential trouble spots, like those nights when you come home tired and don't feel like making dinner? Next we ask, what outside inputs would I need to meet this goal? Resource check. Do you need to ask your partner to take on additional household responsibilities if you cook more? Sometimes the resource we need is simply some accountability or encouragement from a friend. As you consider your options, jot down a word or two about what you need to give yourself the best shot at success. But, let's face it, not every choice is as easy as cutting cable. Some goals may require sacrifices that cut deep into your comfort level, or perhaps even when you've identified all the options you can, you still don't see a clear way to get yourself to a safe financial place. You just feel stuck. In those times, take a deep breath, review your core essentials, and maybe watch "The Money is a Trigger" video one more time. Over my years of working with people in financial distress, I can tell you that this is where sticking with it really counts. Don't close your eyes and give up. Focus on improving as opposed to solving. Do what you can to move yourself closer to the safety that is a balanced budget. If you maintain awareness of your financial picture and keep looking for options, you're giving yourself your best shot for spotting opportunity when it comes, and that is what will allow you to achieve your financial goals.

 
Implementing an action plan
- Now, we've looked at how money comes in and goes out, we've analyzed where we are with the 3-S model, and gotten specific about how to reach the next stage. In this video, we'll focus on implementing our plan and creating a financial management routine that you can stick to. The first thing you need is to put a time frame around the changes you decided to make in the last video. When are you going to stop by the gym to cancel your membership? Tuesday, great! Any action that you identified from researching alternate data plans to updating your LinkedIn profile needs a time frame attached to it. Next, we want to pick a method to organize and manage our cash flow. This method should directly address the particular cash flow challenge you've identified, either helping you pay better attention or else making it harder for you to slip up. For example, if you decided to set a lower amount for your out-of-pocket spending, you could keep practicing the daily tracking technique to notice when you're approaching your limit, or you could put yourself on a cash budget for expenses in that category. As far as which organizational method to choose, there isn't one magical product or approach that works for everyone. Essentially, all cash flow management is about three things. Reviewing what you've earned and spent, predicting what's coming up, and creating a plan to cover it. What matters is that you pick an organizational method that you find intuitive, visually engaging, and that provides the level of detail you need to manage and track your progress. Whether you're an app, spreadsheet, or notebook kind of person really comes down to you. One specific organizational tip that I recommend for those whose challenge is variable income is to maintain a robust contingency fund that separated from regular monthly spending. Consider putting your income directly into a high-yield savings account, and then, at the beginning of each month, transfer the funds you need for that month's expenses over into checking. When you don't know when your next payday will come, it's essential to prepare for dry spells by saving aggressively, and without this separation, it can be very easy to overspend when money comes in. As a client with a regular lump sum income once said to me, "I'm not sure if I'm rich or poor. "I think I'm both." Making a lifestyle change is always easier when the people in our lives are supportive. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Often there are people who encourage us to spend on things that are not in our cash flow plan. If we want to keep those people in our lives, eventually we're going to have to address the situation. I find the best way is to be positive and transparent. Instead of just saying, "I'm too busy to meet for lunch." For the tenth time. Tell them what you're working toward. "I'm not doing meals out because I'm saving up "for holiday gifts." Or, "I'm paying off my debt by the end of the year." If you're not comfortable sharing specifics, it's fine just to say, "That's not in my budget this month." But I do find that people are generally more supportive if they feel like they're helping you work towards something. The second challenge is posed by those who are directly involved in our money who don't see the goal the same way that you do. And, boy, is this a tough one. I work with a lot of couples who beg me to just make their partner see reason, but the truth is that people often have a very different view of what's reasonable, and it doesn't mean that one person is wrong. Instead of bombarding your significant other with facts and figures, open a dialogue. Share the emotional significance of what this means to you. Try saying, "I love you, "and I want to share a long life together. "I'm worried about our financial security "if we don't get this under control." It's certainly much more engaging than, "You need to stop wasting money." But, by far, the most important factor in successfully managing your cash flow is not saying the perfect thing, choosing the best app, or lining up a neat row of cash-stuffed envelopes. It's establishing a regular financial management practice. When you're starting out, I would suggest having a weekly money date with yourself, somewhere between 30 minutes to an hour, to review, predict, and plan. After you get the hang of things, you may find that a monthly sit down is fine. If this last one seems particularly tough, remember your yes, and and baby steps techniques. Stay focused, modify where you need to, but try to stay on that horse. Financial management is a form of regular self-care just like eating a balanced diet and getting enough sleep. You never get to be done eating or done with sleep. You never get to be done with managing your money. Keep tinkering until you have the right method and the routine that you can stick with, and then, hopefully, reaching your financial goals is just a matter of time.

 
Conclusion: A new beginning
- I'm so proud of you for doing this work. I hope you've learned that managing cash flow is about a lot more than just dollars and cents. Money has a deep personal meaning that begins in childhood. We experience money in a very physical way, from our stress response when things are out of balance, to the fast and slow ways that our brains execute decision-making. We've discussed how to sit with your feelings long enough to figure out what's happening with your money. We've outlined how to gather the right information, analyze it and make a decision to put a plan into practice. We've addressed what it takes to change behavior and stick to it. But even the best plans are bound to run into trouble spots, and that's completely normal. We want to be careful about being too rigid or perfectionistic about this process. There are lots of ways to deal with obstacles or get back on the horse when you fall off. Let's look at some common challenges and how to respond to them. "Whoops, life did not go according to my financial plan." Congratulations, you've discovered one of the fundamental truths about managing cash flow: there's no such thing as a typical month or typical year, something unexpected always comes up. But since you never get to be done with money, you always get the chance to keep adjusting. Make sure you're still going through the actions, either each week or at least each month, to review income and expenses, predict what's coming up and make a plan to cover it. Many financial ups and downs can be fixed by increasing what's in your contingency fund. If you keep finding yourself thrown by unforeseen events in your financial life, it probably indicates that you're under-preparing for life's curveballs. Go back to the analyze video and see if you need to revise your plan. "It's too hard, I want to give up." Sometimes the changes necessary to bring money into balance are really difficult. Use time frames to figure out how long you'll stick out this particular plan before exploring the next option. Use baby steps to find a modification, like bringing down a certain expense by 25%, even though you need to cut it in half to make your budget work. Also, consider another capacity check and resource check. Sometimes people are working on too many different life goals at once and need to focus, or they need to look for more support. Also, be positive and specific about your progress so far. Were you able to cut your monthly deficit down to just $50 a month, or save $700 this quarter when your goal was a thousand? Pat yourself on the back. We tend to increase behaviors we feel good about, so don't let an all-or-nothing attitude drag you down. "I'm struggling to change old habits." Changing behavior can take time and effort. First, try to be specific about where you're running into trouble. Is there a person or situation that's part of the issue? If you're depending too much on self-discipline, is there a way to decrease or avoid exposure to temptation? Maybe you need to adjust your organizational method and try something new, like switching to cash if you've been tracking spending with an app. "I'm good for a while, but then I fall off the horse." If for whatever reason you fall out of your healthy financial management routine, you can always, always start again. Gather your information about income and expenses and see what's not working, reassess what needs to change. The good news is that you're not starting from scratch. The more familiar these steps become, the easier it will be to get back on the horse and to internalize those good-with-money behaviors for the long-term. If you're looking for more tips and encouragement, consider me part of your financial wellness team.  on Twitter at @mandaclay, on Facebook at Amanda Clayman Financial Wellness Expert, or online at  website. Hope that you're able to use these tools and your new awareness to not only meet your financial goals, but to make money a positive, purposeful and meaning-filled part of your life.