Missie and Mr. Clean

Studious Missie, with her long thick hair plated into two, traditional, from a typical middle class family; dreamt of how lucky it was to be placed in the booming IT sector company soon after college. Having done her schooling from a vernacular school of South India, she thought it was beyond her talent; and expected that people working there had to be hifi. Her joy knew no bounds, when she finally got a placement out there, in one of the companies. What better gift she could give to her parents, whom she loved dearly - more than anyone and anything in her life; only other person being her lovely sibling?

As always, before anything auspicious, she went to the temple, asked God to shower blessings on her, and started with her dream career. The corridors, the door to the office, the reception, chairs, paperless office, computers everywhere with duel monitor; she kept wondering where she was. Delightful journey began in her life. She had new 'friends' - and as she was a person who thought with her heart, presumed and trusted every one as her friend, and did not realise that they were mere colleagues.

Within few days of her joining, there was a trip planned. They were to leave soon after office hours, which followed US timings. As they were about to leave; an email popped up her screen:
"Missis, please reserve the seat next to you, for me" - she was spell bound, it was quite unexpected. But there was a spark in her mind, a smile on her face. Well, what could go wrong? After all, the message had come from Mr. Clean, who joined few days, after she did; though at a senior level being an IIPM product; Mr. Clean - The handsome young man; whom she had been training. How well he spoke English, and with the clients overseas in calls; indeed a gentleman.

Unfortunately though she reserved the seat next to her; it was occupied by another colleague. Mr. Clean in a polite way asked if the seat could be swiped; and finally they were together the whole night, sitting next to each other. There was an electric wave passing through her. As they spoke to each other the whole night, she saw traces of her father in him. That was the kind of life partner she expected to have; if ever she had one. When the team was busy watching movie, she was staring outside. He asked her what was wrong, and she said - she was missing her family. He reassured her that in his presence she did not need to, and they started exchanging words and heart. Next day she had a sprain in her leg, and could not go around, and had to take rest and be in the bus. He accompanied her in the bus and stayed behind - in the pretext of giving her company in case she needed anything. So continued their long chats - hand in hand for hours; all heated up. Well the time had come for the first trip to end, and he just got down, as if nothing had happened. She felt sad at the bottom of her heart. As she was heading home, she kept thinking, about all that happened, and what it meant. She wondered if she had met her soulmate; the partner of her life. On reaching home she was shocked and could not understand the message she got - "Was'nt the presex feeling great?" What did it mean? Nothing made sense, she wanted to end up everything. But was not sure, if it was part of life. She liked him, and started falling for him; while he told her it might be just infactuation and they needed to give some time.

During client visit outings, she learned from him how to use spoon, fork and knife to eat; though with boss and seniors around, while returning, he would sit in cab hand in hand with hers. She asked him if he loved her, and he said he was not sure. As they lived along the same route, they at times shared cabs enroute home, after office hours. Some of these were noted by the cab drivers, and she became the Dirty girl. He went to onsite for transition. She had a new friend in office. A Hindu Nair girl, who was in love with a Christian boy. Seeing them together made her want to have someone in her life as well, and she felt there was nothing wrong in going forward with her relationship. Whenever Mr. Clean was in office, they would lock their eyes, but never speak to each other. When something would go wrong, or he would try to ignore her, she would spend hours in the restroom crying. There she would find that she was not alone, there were more than handfull of girls, going through similar emotions. A smart clean and gentle boy, as he was; knew how to make use of the available opportunity.

The first of their private meeting was during office hours, soon after her father dropped her near office, he picked her from there and took her to an isolated place; touched her and kissed her on her private parts, boobs, stomach; and asked her to return his 'favour' by touching his pennis. Twice he took her to isolated houses, one his cousins; and another a flat where he was supposed to introduce her to his family - but on reaching home no one was there; he repeated the same action. Soon after he derived his pleasure he would just hurry off. The last was on the pretext of dropping her home after a friends wedding reception; when at night, he took her home, and said he would want to suck her breast. Though she said that was for her kid, and not for him, somehow he finally managed to do it.

All these four incidents happened, intermittently as they continued being just colleagues, friends, in a relationship - different faces, at small intervals. She kept getting into depression, started having medicines for depression; soon her family got to know about this. She was at times ashamed of herself, and thought how could she betray her family, and love someone more that everyone she has every loved. She did not realise Love was blind. Love was the king of all emotions, and she had the painful need to be with her lover. She loved him with all hear heart, but for him, it was just a time pass. She and her family were innocent. She even went to his home and confessed her love for him to his parents.

Here I remember the beautiful lines - "Adjustment & Compromise are 2 crucial sides of the same coin called relationship. Adjust when someone wants to be with you & Compromise when you want to be with someone." This is exactly what happened and what she did; not realising what she was doing. Also it is said that, when you love someone set them free; if if comes back to you, it is your's; if it does not, it was never yours. She just could not let her Love free, and wait to know if there was something genuine; but wanted him desperately; and he did not miss the opportunity he had.

He told her, he was kind to her, by not having sex with her, and thereby not spoiling her! What did that mean? Also he accused her of being a third rated Ezhava, who wanted to have an affair with a Nair boy, to belong to a higher caste....A modern educated boy; where did the feeling of caste go, when he had momentary pleasure with her? It became a matter of concern, only when it was time to make life time decisions?

She trusted only one person, whom she thought would support her, and give her the adivse that she wanted. Every coin has two side, and this might be partly one side of the coin; but a lesson to learn, remember and not to be repeated.

Indeed " The bravest thing she ever did was continuing her life, when she wanted to die"; she was victim of circumstances; anybody could have been at her place; and she wanted to warn the gen. next to be carefule; not to fall in a trap partly woven, partly pulled into, as she had fallen into the trap.

1. Never tolerate any injustice and never compromise on self-respect. Value your values.
2. Life is not safe out there, Take care.
3. Depression is deadly, don't let yourself into that mode.