Ratna Pathak Shah and Naseeruddin Shah have been married for 43 years. Despite theirs being an interfaith marriage, both have shared that their families never strongly opposed their union. In a recent interview, Ratna opened up about what has kept their marriage strong for over four decades.
“Simply put, the desire to stay married, and friendship. Common interests definitely help. At least in my case, I’ve seen all these three have been important. We did want to be together, very much so. Both of us had similar views about theatre and films,” said Ratna, who also collaborates with Naseeruddin Shah in their theatre company, Motley Productions.
She further explained, “We didn’t have to face too much opposition. People made a little noise here and there. Not like today. I don’t know what’d happen if we were to marry today. I guess we won’t be allowed to. But in those days, it was much easier. Neither of us is particularly religious, so we were able to take that decision quite easily,” in her conversation with Faye D’Souza.
Ratna also recalled, “What also helped is what Naseer said: let’s not try to define our relationship. Does it have to be husband-wife, lover, girlfriend-boyfriend, whatever it is? Let’s see where we go.” The two have also appeared together in films, including Amol Palekar’s 2005 supernatural romance Paheli (as voice artists) and Abbas Tyrewala’s 2008 rom-com Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na (as husband and wife).
Speaking about their differing views on acting, she admitted that it has led to many arguments. “I am going to quote from Naseer, ‘You shouldn’t want to be an actor unless you feel you will die if you don’t act.’ I am not one of those types. I am sorry. I had lots of arguments with Naseer about this. How can he say that? What happens to me? I don’t feel I will die if I can’t act! I love acting, I enjoy it, I do it with extreme concentration and seriousness. But I don’t think that is the only thing I want out of life. He said, no. ‘If you want to be an actor-actor, full-time, career actor then it has to be that important for you,’” Ratna said.
In an earlier interview with Hauterrfly, Ratna revealed that while Naseeruddin’s conventional Muslim family was more accepting of their marriage, her parents — businessman Baldev Pathak and actor Dina Pathak — were not fully convinced. “My dad was not entirely happy, but unfortunately, he passed away before we got married. Maa and Naseer had a more rocky relationship, but they settled also and eventually became friends.”
Adding to the challenges, Naseeruddin Shah already had a daughter, actor Heeba Shah, from his first marriage, which ended early. Ratna and Heeba continue to collaborate in Motley Productions, while Ratna and Naseer have two sons together — musician Imaad Shah and author Vivaan Shah, both of whom followed in their parents’ footsteps as actors.
During a panel at the FICCI Flo summit in Hyderabad earlier this year, Ratna admitted she sometimes feels overshadowed by her husband’s career but has accepted it. “It has been the most fantastic, fun ride I could have imagined. I did not really think it would be possible to have a friendship that lasts so long in such an intimate kind of a setting, but it’s the friendship that has lasted, and that is the most precious thing. That friendship has been created because we work together. I am all for people from the same field getting together. It definitely is a way of supporting, helping and finding common areas of interest; it is quite invaluable,” she said.
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