Wednesday, October 18, 2023

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum

 ~ Robert Fulghum, ‘All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten’.

 Title of the first essay. Nevertheless, 'To the reader from the author' ends with "I will not make the usual reservation that "the opinions expressed within are entirely my own." The older I get the more I realize how much I think is a composite of the goods selected from the supermarket shelves of the world of thought. What is mine is an attitude about what passes through my mind. To expound on that theme, the 15th revised edition of this book begin with a profound admonition found on  a bumper sticker:

"DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK"



“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. 

That myth is more potent than history. 

That dreams are more powerful than facts. 

That hope always triumphs over experience. 

That laughter is the only cure for grief. 

And I believe that love is stronger than death.” 


The book begins with Credo:

“These are the things I learned (in Kindergarten):

 1. Share everything.

2. Play fair.

3. Don't hit people.

4. Put things back where you found them.

5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.

6. Don't take things that aren't yours.

7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.

8. Wash your hands before you eat.

9. Flush.

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

11. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.

12. Take a nap every afternoon.

13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. And few days later dead.  (LifeDeath one short event)

15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.

16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.”

"Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living."

"Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. “Think what a better world it would be if we all-the whole world-had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess."

And it is still true, no matter how old you are-when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

In between you have:


In Deep Kindergarden it says that LifeDeath is one short event, don't be surprised when doctor say life is short, you need to know that. 

The Rest of Story - Soon enough, there will be sleepless nights when "what happen next?" will not be plot inquiry but the entreaty of prayer. 

“Nobody goes "AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" when they sing it. Maybe because it puts the life adventure in such clear and simple terms. The small creature is alive and looks for adventure. Here's the drainpipe--a long tunnel going up toward some light. The spider doesn't even think about it--just goes. Disaster befalls it--rain, flood, powerful foces. And the spider is knocked down and out beyond where it started. Does the spider say, "To hell with that"? No. Sun comes out--clears things up--dries off the spider. And the small creature goes over to the drainpipe and looks up and thinks it really wants to know what is up there.” -"Capacity of life to triumph over adversity - about perseverance in adventure"

All I really need  know is that Sometime acting foolish and being wise are the same. Puddles are there as a test about staying young as long as you can. Do it  now or it would be 'Too Late.'

“Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well.” - Elias Schwarts 145th incarnation of Haiho Lama

He is an angel, marrying Rachel who had cancel and could not have children, but they ended up having four. some Angels can fix your soles and mend your soul the same time. 

Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found.”. "I don't want anyone to know." "what will people think?' "I don't want to bother anyone." - Get found kid. “Every person passing through this life will unknowingly leave something and take something away.”

“Now Everybody has some secret goals in life...Sometimes you can get what you want and what you need at the same time.” "....

Chicken Fried Steak:“And sure, I know if you eat this way you'll die. So? If you don't eat this way you're still going to die. Why not die happy?”

Charles Boyer's story - was no move. There was only one women. For forty -four years as in the first year, His wife Patricia. A life long love affair. soul mates. He could not bear to tell her she had cancer, set by her bed side to provide hope and cheer. She died in his arms, two days later he was also dead. 

“Why is it that love and life so often have to be carried forth with so much pain and strain and mess?  I ask you why is that?

Why isn't love easy?

I don't know. And the raccoons don't say.”

“Until you have experienced raccoons mating underneath your bedroom at three in the morning, you have missed one of life's sensational moments.”

Larry Walters flying up in balloon in 1982 is a proof that “It’s the spirit here that counts. The time may be long, the vehicle may be strange or unexpected. But if the dream is held close to the heart, and imagination is applied to what there is close at hand, everything is still possible.”

"Ten years after his flight - on October 6, 1993 - Larry Walters went hiking in the Angeles National Forest alone. He shot himself in the heart. And died. Why? Why? We don't know why. Nobody saw this coming. Larry left no word. "

At baloon launch in France, Old Ben Franklin said: "What good isa newborn baby?" "This ballon will open skies to mankind." “Imagination is more important than information. Einstein said that, and he should know. And they come. And they look. And we push. And they fly. We to stay and die on our beds. They to go and die howsoever, yet inspiring those who come after them to find their own edge. And fly.”

Laundry - “When I’m finished, I have a sense of accomplishment. A sense of competence. I am good at doing the laundry. At least that. And it’s a religious experience, you know. Water, earth, fire—polarities of wet and dry, hot and cold, dirty and clean. The great cycles—round and round—beginning and end—Alpha and Omega, amen. I am in touch with the GREAT SOMETHING-OR-OTHER. For a moment, at least, life is tidy and has meaning.” "I like cheer, I like happy wash"

"We've made a lot of progress, you know. We used to think that disease was an act of God. Then we figured out it was a product of human ignorance, so we've been cleaning up our act-literally-ever since. We've been getting the excrement off our hands and clothes and bodies and food and houses. If only the scientific experts could come up with something to get it out of our minds. One cup of fixit fizzle that will lift the dirt from our lives, soften our hardness, protect our inner parts, improve our processing, reduce our yellowing and wrinkling, improve our natural color, and make us sweet and good.”

"I am a sucker for colorful packaging. Any old product that says "NEW AND IMPROVED" on it calls out to me. I, too, hope to be New and Improved someday."

Medicine cabinets, in our bathroom; our bathrooms are "Temple of Reality". "Most people are secret slobs. Deepest mysteries of the race are tucked into the nooks and crannies of the bathroom, where we go to be alone, to confront ourselves in the mirror, to comb and curry and scrape and preen our hides, to coax our aging and ailing bodies into on more day, to clean ourselves and reliever ourselves, to paint and deodorize our surface, to meditate and consult our oracle and attempt to improve our lot. 

“Ignorance and power and pride are a deadly mixture, you know.” Good Samaritan

“It wasn’t in books. It wasn’t in a church. What I needed to know was out there in the world.” “Keep your eyes open. Suspend judgment. Be useful,” Bar Story was important to know

"We will help you. You are worth helping." “There is nothing in your budget for joy. No books, no flowers, no music, not even a cold beer. And there is nothing in your budget to give away to someone else. We don’t help people who don’t have better values than you do.” "What I had to give away was this story itself."

Majority of stuff come from two sources People and meteorites. It isn't dirt. It's all compost. Cosmic compost. We are the stuff of stars. 

“Speed and efficiency do not always increase the quality of life.” "Pushing leaves with mechanical air is not the same as hearing the wind blow through the trees." Vaccum Vs. Handtools. 

“It is not true, by the way, that mermaids do not exist. I know at least one personally. I have held her hand.” {Reminded me of why fit in, when you are meant to stand out}

“If you only make it up, you never have to live it down.”

"Sometimes the world seems like a fine place, don't it?" - Disagree? - Weiser's still there - Idaho.

"Scientists tell us the Earth has been around 4.5 billion years and has another 5.7 billion to go. What does a flower care about what label we apply in passing? The labels only stick to us. "

"There's no commercial value in water of this kind. There are two secret ingredients, which can't be manufactured or bottled, imagination and memory. Such vintage refreshment is always a product of home brewing. The liquid is flavored by experience and given character by the creative effort it takes to fill the wine cellar of the heart. Let the glass be filled and lifted - Cheers!"

Third Aid : After the Frist and second, "ABC check up - for Airway, Blood and Comfort or something like that." "Ask Are you Breathing, Bleeding, Comfy - If answer is Yes, No, Yes you are going to live longer. In addition to ABC there is the Placebo Effect. No matter what you do, anywhere from 30 to 60 % of what gets wrong with you heals itself if you just give it time and think good thoughts. It's kind of like staying amused while your body does its things. Doctor's can help only 15%. Your body does the rest. Or else you die. Your body makes house call - so does your brain. This is crucial. When in down, get down. Take a nap. 

Yelling : “Machines and relatives get most of the yelling. But never trees. As for people, well, the Solomon islanders may have a point. Yelling at living thing does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.” In the Solomon Islands in south Pacific, if people are unable to cut down trees they yell at them for thirty days. At the end of it, the tree dies and falls over. 

“So you drive as far as you can, even when you can clearly read the sign. You want to think you are exempt, that it doesn’t apply to you. But it does. Life is still a dead end. And we still have a hard time believing it”

Testing is needed in life. Even after school , of most of the lessons. “But love may have to be left off the exam. Most of us will never learn.” Also we will never know - already over questioned:

“Why is there Something instead of Nothing?” "When will I have time, and who knows where the time goes?" When is enough enough? What are people for? Is there life before death? Is it true that little knowledge is a dangerous thing? If bird's fly over the rainbow, why can't I? Lucy asking Charlie Brown, "Don't you wish you knew back then what you know now?" Charlie stares blank-eyed for a while, and then ask, "What do I know now?"

Buffalo Tavern: “The Indian danced on alone. The crowd clapped up the beat. The Indian danced with a chair. The crowd went crazy. The band faded. The crowd cheered. The Indian held up his hands for silence as if to make a speech. Looking at the band and then the crowd, the Indian said, "Well, what're you waiting for? Let's DANCE.”

Gummy Lump - gift made by kids, the best ever gifts. 

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.(Mother Teresa)”

Census- “Every person passing through this life will unknowingly leave something and take something away. Most of this “something” cannot be seen or heard or numbered or scientifically detected or counted. It’s what we leave in the minds of other people and what they leave in ours. Memory. The census doesn’t count it. Nothing counts without it.”

Pass it on: “The Sikh gave him the money. When Menon asked for his address so that he could repay the man, the Sikh said that Menon owed the debt to any stranger who came to him in need, as long as he lived. The help came from a stranger and was to be repaid to a stranger.”

Stargazing, grandfather would take you out to see stars. Missed both grandfathers. And tell him I said I'd really like it if he came home for Christmas.” “You'd like my grandfather. And he'd like you, I think. Happy Grandfather's Day to him, wherever he is. If you see him, let him take you out to see the stars some night.

What is real does not matter. "It's harmless enough for yearning to be so strong that what you need becomes very real in some corner of your heart. Picasso said, "Everything you can imagine is real"""Grandfather is made of the cloth of yearning and imagination."

"Some people are concerned about how it is that good things happen to bad people, and there are those concerned about how bad things happen to good people. But my grandfather is interested in those times when miracles happen to ordinary people. Here again he like small scale."

"When small miracles occur for ordinary people, day by ordinary day When not only did the worst not happen, but you got the gift of what-could-never-happen-but-did, How grand to beat the odds for a change. My grandfather says he blesses God each day when he takes himself off to bed having eaten and not having been eaten once again. 

In a sense we make up all our relatives, though. ...Especially if they are dead or distant. We take what we know, which isn't ever the whole story, and we add it to what we wish and need, and stitch it together into some kind of family quilt to wrap up in on our mental couch. .......Memories are creative. There is always the conflicting truth of many witnesses. Always. We make ourselves up, fusing what we are with what we wish into what we must become...it is....Here is the good part: Thinking about the grandfather I wish I had prepared me for the grandfather I wish to be and am becoming. ....It is a preparation. 

“Moths and butterflies are not the same thing. Moths sneak around in the dark munching your sweater and are ugly. Butterflies hand out with flowers in the daytime and are pretty. Never mind any facts or what silkworm moths are responsible for, or what poisonous butterflies do.”

“Out of the mouths of babes may come gems of wisdom, but also garbage.”

"It is said that people don't like to talk about death. Yet in just one afternoon I heard people say: "Your mother will kill you if you wear that outside the house." "Working overtime is murder". "I laughed so hard I thought I'd die." "My feet are killing me."

Do I believe in near-death experience? Yes. 

Life is a near-death experience.

The leading cause of death is life.

Is there life after death? I'm dying to find out. 

“... all things live only if something else is cleared out of the path to make way. No death; no life. No exceptions. Things must come and go. People. Years. Ideas. Everything. The wheel turns, and the old is cleared away as fodder for the new.”

What if we all had Term limits and would need to renew our citizenships?

“What I notice is that every adult or child I give a new set of Crayolas to goes a little funny. The kids smile, get a glazed look on their faces, pour the crayons out, and just look at them for a while....The adults always get the most wonderful kind of sheepish smile on their faces--a mixture of delight and nostalgia and silliness. And they immediately start telling you about all their experiences with Crayolas.”

"May be we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A Beauty Bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would lanuch one first - before we tried anything else. .....people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination instead of death. 

“And I’m not confused about the lack of, or the need for, imagination in low or high places. We could do better we must do better. There are far worse things to drop on people than crayolas.”

“It doesn’t matter what you say you believe - it only matters what you do.”  Father would always say Jesus was Jew around, Christmas, which would annoy mother. He was a great Heathen but worked for the Salvation Army year after year as long as he lived. The Great Heathen : Heathen is a dated term used primarily of someone who is not religious, or whose religion is not Judaism, Islam, or especially Christianity. 

Brass Rule:

“My mother was pulling my leg on that one. I have collected so much gift-wrapped trash over the years from people who copped out and hurriedly bought a little plastic cheapie to give under the protective flag of good thoughts. I tell you, it is the gift that counts. Or rather, people who think good thoughts give good gifts. It ought to be a rule—the Brass Rule of Gift Exchange.”

“I know what I really want for Christmas.

I want my childhood back.

Nobody is going to give me that. I might give at least the memory of it to myself if I try. I know it doesn't make sense, but since when is Christmas about sense, anyway? It is about a child, of long ago and far away, and it is about the child of now. In you and me. Waiting behind the door of our hearts for something wonderful to happen. A child who is impractical, unrealistic, simpleminded and terribly vulnerable to joy.”

"It's delight and simplicity that I want. Foolishness and fantasy and noise. Angels and miracles and wonder and innocence and magic. That's closer to what I want."

Valentine Christmas Tree:  "It's about loving something - not just one's self or one's family or one's neighbor. It's about loving life - about loving this world - and seeing this world as our living room. "

Christmas in August:  "I guess wonder and awe and joy are always there in the attic of one's mind somewhere, and it doesn't take a lot to set it off."

Beethoven's Nineth: Best remedy for depression. - Ode to joy. "Crazy drams can come true when the dreamer has a crazy fairy godmother or two. "

“Does the giraffe know what he's for? Or care? Or even think about his place in things? A giraffe has a black tongue twenty-seven inches long and no vocal cords. A giraffe has nothing to say. He just goes on giraffing.”

Next Six Stores: About neighbor. “And good neighbors make a huge difference in the quality of life. I agree.” We get to choose our house but not our neighbors. A lady, who would look for the trees in the yard and neighbors before buying a house. 

“The leaves let go, the seeds let go, and I must let go sometimes, too, and cast my lot with another of nature’s imperfect but tenacious survivors.” 

“Remember, most of us got something for nothing the first time just by showing up here at birth. Now we have to qualify.”

“I get tired of hearing it's a crummy world and that people are no damned good. What kind of talk is that? I know a place in Payette, Idaho, where a cook and a waitress and a manager put everything they've got into laying a chicken-fried steak on you.”

“The gift was not large as money goes, and my need was not great, but the spirit of the gift is beyond price and leaves me blessed and in debt.”

“We even make ourselves up, fusing what we are with what we wish into what we must become. I'm not sure why it must be so, but it is.”

“You will continue to read stories of crookedness and corruption - of policemen who lie and steal, doctors who reap where they do not sew, politicians on the take. Don't be misled. They are news because they are the exceptions.”

“Liberation, I guess, is everybody getting what they think they want, without knowing the whole truth. Or in other words, liberation finally amounts to being free from things we don't like in order to be enslaved by things we approve of. Here's to the eternal tandem.”

“As one old gentleman put it, " Son, I don't care if you're stark nekkid and wear a bone in your nose. If you kin fiddle, you're all right with me. It's the music we make that counts.”

“It's just this: that there are places we all come from-deep-rooty-common places- that makes us who we are. And we disdain them or treat them lightly at our peril. We turn our backs on them at the risk of self-contempt. There is a sense in which we need to go home again-and can go home again. Not to recover home, no. But to sanctify memory.”

“Th communique repeated the information. “He went to the body of his wife and wouldn’t leave it, although she was dead.”

How strange. why didn’t he run and save his own hide? What made him go back? is it possible that he loved her? Is it possible that he wanted to hold her in his arms one last time? Is it possible that he needed to cry and grieve? Is it possible that he felt the stupidity of war? Is it possible that he felt the injustice of fate? Is it possible that he thought of children, born or unborn? Is it possible that he didn’t care what become of him now?

It’s possible. We don’t know. Or at least we don’t know for certain. But we can guess. His actions answer.

And so he sits alone in a prison. Not a “Russian” or a “Communist” or “solider” or “enemy” or any of these categories. Just-a-man who cared for just-a-woman for just-a-time more than anything else.

Here’s to you, Nicolai Pestretsov, wherever you may go and be, for giving powerful meaning to the promises that are the same everywhere; for dignifying that covenant that is the same in any language— “for better or for worse, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honor and cherish unto death, so help me God.” You kept the faith; kept it bright— kept it shining. Bless you!”

“Life will examine us continually to see if we have understood and have practiced what we were taught that first year of school.”

“I may be wrong”

“Peace is not something you wish for; it's something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away!”

“Knowledge is meaningful only if it is reflected in action. The human race has found out the hard way that we are what we do, not just what we think.”

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”

“Embassy Row in Washington, D.C., the summer I turned”

“As long as life exists, something always happens next. There are always consequences—always sequels.”

“It is comforting to know that some very old and very simple ways of getting from one place to another still work.”

The Odds:

“Always trust your fellow man. And always cut the cards. Always trust God. And always build your house on high ground. Always love thy neighbor. And always pick a good neighborhood to live in.”

“About winning and losing: It isn't important, what really counts is how you play the game. About playing the game: PLAY TO WIN!”

Where the snow goes: 

“And snow—snow is not my enemy, I tell him. Snow is God’s way of telling people to slow down and rest and stay in bed for a day. And besides, snow always solves itself. Mixes with the leaves to form more earth, I tell him. Think compost, says I.”

"For he and I - and even you - will become what the leaves and snow become, and go where the leaves and snow go - whether we rake or shovel or not. 

Hair: “Without realizing it ,we fill important places in each other's lives. It's that way with the guy at the corner grocery, the mechanic at the local garage, the family doctor, teacher, neighbours, co-workers.  Good people who are alway 'there', who can be relied upon in small, important ways. People who teach us, bless us, encourage us, support us, uplift us in the dailiness of life. We never tell them. I don't know why, but we don't”

"And, of course, we fill that role ourselves. There are those who depend in us, watch us, learn from us, take from us. And we never know."

“Don't sell yourself short. 

You may never have proof of your importance, but you are more important than you think. There are always those who couldn’t do without you. The rub is that you don’t always know who.”

“It reminds me of an old Sufi story of a good man who was granted one wish by God. The man said he would like to go about doing good without knowing about it. God granted his wish. And then God decided that it was such a good idea, he would grant that wish to all human beings. And so it has been to this day.”

There are reflections 

  1. 17. Everything looks better at a distance
  2. 18. If you made it up, you have to live it down
  3. 19. Everything is compost
  4. 20. There is no they - only us
  5. 21. It's a mistake to believe everything you think.
  6. 22. You can get used to anything
  7. 23. Sometimes things are just as bad as they seem
  8. 24. It helps if you always have somebody to kiss goodnight
“Everything looks better at a distance. If you made it up, you have to live it down. Everything is compost. There is no they—only us. It’s a mistake to believe everything you think. You can get used to anything. Sometimes things are just as bad as they seem. It helps if you always have somebody to kiss goodnight.” Add these too, to the kindergarten Credo list. 

And ends with a CODA

Leaving midsentence without punctuation or explanation , to come back again and







On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong


On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. 



Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born — a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam — and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Asking questions central to our American moment, immersed  in addiction, violence, and trauma, but undergirded by compassion and tenderness, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is as much about the power of telling one's own story as it is about the obliterating silence of not being heard.

With stunning urgency and grace, Ocean Vuong writes of people caught between disparate worlds, and asks how we heal and rescue one another without forsaking who we are. The question of how to survive, and how to make of it a kind of joy, powers the most important debut novel of many years.

A story of Mother and daughter(s); daughter and son. Son and Trevor. Sisters Rose and Mai. Grandfather. 

And the Buffalo 





Old Grandma "Her skin had stopped trying, the eyes fallen into her skull, as if peering from inside the brain itself. She resembles a wood carving, shriveled and striated with deep lines. The only indication that she's alive is her favorite yellow blanket, now grey, rising and falling on her chest. 

You say her name the fourth time, and her eyes open, searching each of our faces. 

Every grain of rice you leave behind is one maggot you eat in hell. 

I remember looking at you for a long time and, because I was six, I thought I could simply transmit my thoughts into your head if I stared hard enough. I remember crying in range. How you had no idea. How you put your hand underneath my shirt and scratched my back anyways. I remember sleeping like that, calmed - my crushed cow expanding on the nightstand like a slow-motion color bomb. 

The possession of a name, after all being all they share. 'Lan' meaning Orchid. 

Rose past sense of Rise. 

You once told me that memory is a choice. But if you were god, you'd know it's a flood. 

And because I am your son, I said, "Sorry". Because I am your son, my apology had become, by then, an extension of myself. It was my Hello.

Because that's what mothers do. They wait. They stand still untill their children belong to someone else. 

It is no accident, Ma, that the comma resembles a fetus - that curve of continuation. We were all once inside our mothers, saying, with our entire curved and silent selves, more, more, more. I want to insist that our being alive is beautiful enough to be worthy of replication. And so what? So what if all I ever made of my life was more of it?

A comma superimposed by a period  the mouth so naturally makes. Isn't that the saddest thing in the world, Ma? A comma forced to be a period? 

We had decided, shortly after we met, because our friends were already dying from overdoses, to never tell each other goodbye or goodnight. 

What were we before we were we?

What Simone Weil said: Perfect joy excludes even the very feeling of joy, for in the soul filled by the object, no corner is left for saying "I".

To ask what's good? was to move, right away, to joy. It was pushing aside what was inevitable to reach the exceptional. Not great or well or wonderful, but simply good. Because good was more often enough, was a precious spark we sought and harvested of and for one another. 

With stunning grace, Ocean Vuong writes of people caught between disparate worlds, and asks how we heal and rescue one another without forsaking who we are. 

The question of how to survive, and how to make of it a kind of joy, powers the most important debut novel of many years.

Yes there was a war. Yes, we came from its epicenter. In that war, a woman gifted herself a new name -Lan - in that naming claimed herself beautiful, then made that beauty into something worth keeping. From that a daughter was born, and from that daughter, a son. 

All this time I told myself we were born from war - but I was wrong, Ma. We were born from beauty. 

Let no one mistake us for the fruit of violence - but that violence, having passed though the fruit, failed to spoil it. 

As Vuong explains in his 2016 poetry collection, “Night Sky With Exit Wounds,” his grandfather was a U.S. soldier who found a farm girl in Vietnam. “Thus my mother exists,” he writes. “Thus I exist. Thus no bombs = no family = no me.”

What Vuong does in this novel with language and form, how he  moves between poetry and prose, is extraordinary. 





They say if you want something bad enough you'll end up making a god out of it. But what if all I ever wanted was my life, Ma?

I am thinking of beauty again, how some things are hunted because we have deemed them beautiful. If, relative to the history of our planet, an individual life is so short, a blink of an eye, as they say, then to be gorgeous, even from the day you're born to the day you die, is to be gorgeous only briefly. Like right now, how the sun is coming on, low behind the elms, and I can't tell the difference between a sunset and sunrise. The world, reddening, appears the same to me - and I lose track of east and west. The colors this morning have the frayed tint of something already leaving, I think of  the time Trev and I sat on the toolshed roof, watching the sun sink. I wasn't so much surprised by its effect - how, in a few crushed minutes, it changes the way things are seen, including ourselves - but that it was ever mine to see. Because the sunset, like survival, exist only on the verge of its own disappearing. To be gorgeous, you must first be seen, but to be seen allows you to be hunted. 

Reading is a privilege made possible with what you lost. You believe in reincarnation. You'll come here , may be name will be Rose again, and you'll have a room full of books with parents who will read you bedtime stories in a country not touched by war. May be then, in that life and in this future, you'll find this book and you'll know what happened to us. And you'll remember. Maybe. 

In Ocean Vuong's novel "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous," Little Dog is the protagonist and narrator. He is a young Vietnamese-American man who writes a letter to his illiterate mother, reflecting on his life, his family's history, and his own experiences growing up. The name "Little Dog" is symbolic and reflects his vulnerable and marginalized status, as well as his sense of being at the mercy of larger forces beyond his control.

Throughout the novel, Little Dog’s reflections delve into themes of identity, trauma, love, and the search for belonging. His experiences are deeply influenced by his family's history and their immigrant journey, as well as his own struggles with sexuality and personal relationships. The character of Little Dog serves as a vehicle for exploring the novel’s complex themes and emotional depth.

Little Dog's family background includes the experience of fleeing from Vietnam, which plays a significant role in shaping their experiences and the narrative. The novel addresses the impacts of historical and personal trauma on identity and relationships, reflecting broader themes of migration and the refugee experience. Vuong's lyrical prose and poignant storytelling offer a deep, personal reflection on these themes.

The family’s decision to leave Vietnam is influenced by a combination of factors, including the war’s devastating impact and the ongoing struggle for survival in a post-war environment. The novel explores how the trauma and dislocation from the war affect Little Dog’s family and their experiences as immigrants in the United States. The broader context of war and displacement provides a backdrop to the personal and emotional narratives within the novel, highlighting the enduring effects of such upheavals on individuals and families.

In "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous," Little Dog's family includes several key figures who shape his life and experiences:

Mother (Rose): Little Dog's mother, Rose, is a central figure in the novel. She is a complex character who has endured significant hardship, including the trauma of the Vietnam War. Her experiences and struggles with mental health, addiction, and the challenges of immigrant life deeply affect her relationship with Little Dog.

Grandmother (Lan): Little Dog's grandmother, Lan, is another important character. She plays a crucial role in Little Dog's life, particularly in shaping his understanding of his family’s history and their cultural heritage. Her own experiences and wisdom influence Little Dog's reflections and sense of identity.

Grandfather (Ba): Little Dog's grandfather is a more peripheral figure in the novel, but his presence and the legacy of his experiences in Vietnam are felt throughout the story. He represents another link in the chain of family trauma and history.

Father: Little Dog’s father is a relatively minor character in the novel. He is absent for much of the story and is portrayed as having a strained relationship with Little Dog and his mother. His absence and the fractured nature of their relationship contribute to the novel's themes of estrangement and loss.

Mai: Mai is Little Dog's first love interest. She is a young Vietnamese-American woman who is also dealing with her own personal struggles and complexities. Mai's relationship with Little Dog is marked by a deep emotional connection but is also fraught with challenges, including the impact of their respective backgrounds and personal issues.

Trevor: Trevor is another significant figure in Little Dog's life. He is a white working-class young man who becomes romantically involved with Little Dog. Trevor's relationship with Little Dog is characterized by both intimacy and conflict, reflecting broader themes of cultural and personal differences. Their relationship explores issues of race, class, and identity.

Both Mai and Trevor are crucial in exploring Little Dog’s personal growth and his struggles with identity and love. Their interactions with Little Dog highlight the novel's themes of connection, alienation, and the search for understanding within complex personal and social contexts. These family members, each with their own struggles and histories, significantly impact Little Dog’s narrative and his exploration of identity, love, and belonging.

The story of the buffalo is a poignant and symbolic tale told by Little Dog's grandmother, Lan. It serves as a powerful metaphor for resilience, sacrifice, and the complex legacy of trauma and survival.

The buffalo story occurs when Lan recalls her childhood in Vietnam during the war. She tells Little Dog about a buffalo that was killed for food. The villagers needed to butcher the animal to survive, but the buffalo did not die immediately after being struck. Instead, it continued to struggle, and in its final moments, it managed to escape briefly, showing an immense will to live despite its inevitable death.

This story reflects the broader themes of the novel, including the endurance of the Vietnamese people in the face of immense suffering and violence. It also mirrors the personal struggles of the characters, particularly Lan and Little Dog, as they navigate their own painful histories and the challenges of immigrant life in America. The buffalo's resilience and ultimate sacrifice resonate deeply with the characters' experiences of loss, memory, and the search for identity and belonging.

“The past tense of sing is not singed”  - Hoa Nguyen


The past tense of "sing" is "sang," not "singed." While "singed" is a word that means to burn slightly or to scorch, it. John Cardenas.

"Freedom...is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey." ~ Bei Dao's Poem "Accomplices" (The August Sleepwalker)

“All freedom is relative—you know too well—and sometimes it’s no freedom at all, but simply the cage widening far away from you, the bars abstracted with distance but still there, as when they “free” wild animals into nature preserves only to contain them yet again by larger borders. But I took it anyway, that widening.”

There is not a single chapter, page, or verse in this book that did not swing me between emotions.


P.S. 

Vietnam went through prolonged warfare in the 20th century. After World War II, France returned to reclaim colonial power in the First Indochina War, from which Vietnam emerged victorious in 1954. As a result of the treaties signed between the Viet Minh and France, Vietnam was also separated into two parts. The Vietnam War began shortly after, between the communist North Vietnam, supported by the Soviet Union and China, and the anti-communist South Vietnam, supported by the United States. Upon the North Vietnamese victory in 1975, Vietnam reunified as a unitary socialist state under the Communist Party of Vietnam (CPV) in 1976. An ineffective planned economy, a trade embargo by the West, and wars with Cambodia and China crippled the country further. In 1986, the CPV initiated economic and political reforms similar to the Chinese economic reform, transforming the country to a socialist-oriented market economy. The reforms facilitated Vietnamese reintegration into the global economy and politics.


Vuong was born in Vietnam. His grandmother grew up in the Vietnamese countryside, and his grandfather was a white American from Michigan serving in the United States Navy. His grandparents met during the Vietnam War, married, and had three children, including Vuong's mother. His grandfather had gone back to visit home in the U.S. but was unable to return when Saigon fell to communist forces. His grandmother separated his mother and aunts in orphanages, concerned for their survival. They fled Vietnam after a police officer came to suspect that his mother was of mixed heritage, leaving her prone to discrimination by the regime's labour policies at the time.


Two-year-old Vuong and his family eventually arrived in a refugee camp in the Philippines before achieving asylum and migrating to the United States, settling in Hartford, Connecticut, alongside six relatives. His father abandoned the family after this. Vuong was reunited with his paternal grandfather later in life



A Reading List - Sara Nisha Adams

 


An unforgettable and heartwarming debut about how a chance encounter with a list of library books helps forge an unlikely friendship between two very different people in a London suburb.

Widower Mukesh lives a quiet life in the London Borough of Ealing after losing his beloved wife. He shops every Wednesday, goes to Temple, and worries about his granddaughter, Priya, who hides in her room reading while he spends his evenings watching nature documentaries.

Aleisha is a bright but anxious teenager working at the local library for the summer when she discovers a crumpled-up piece of paper in the back of To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s a list of novels that she’s never heard of before. Intrigued, and a little bored with her slow job at the checkout desk, she impulsively decides to read every book on the list, one after the other. As each story gives up its magic, the books transport Aleisha from the painful realities she’s facing at home.

When Mukesh arrives at the library, desperate to forge a connection with his bookworm granddaughter, Aleisha passes along the reading list… hoping that it will be a lifeline for him too. Slowly, the shared books create a connection between two lonely souls, as fiction helps them escape their grief and everyday troubles and find joy again. 

At Priya's request, Naina gave back To Wembley, To the people who loved her, the reading list. 


These are all stories of someone forced out of the comfort zone. 

In addition to these books, there are many other books too mentioned here. Most prominent being The Time Travellers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. 

A book on books that has a lasting impact.

Set in Wembley in London with all its variety, colour, cultures, contrasts and contradictions, the still grieving Mukesh lost his beloved wife, Naina, 2 years ago. He has withdrawn into himself, a lonely man ruled by routines, with his protective daughters playing an organising and protective role through the phone although failing to communicate with him, busy with their own lives. Mukesh is not a reader, but Naina was, and when he finds a library copy of The Time Traveler's Wife taken out from the Harrow Road Library, he reads it and finds it a revelation, discovering Naina within it, the story speaks to him about his love for Naina and the heartrending experience of losing her to cancer.

This has Mukesh making his way to the library, where he has a problematic encounter with 17 year old Aleisha, not a reader either, working temporarily at the library on the recommendation of her book loving brother, Aiden. The two of them are bearing the heavy responsibility of caring for their mother, Leilah, round the clock, with no support for her mental health issues. Along with other people in the book, Aleisha discovers a crumpled reading list that begins with Just in case you need it. The list comprises of To Kill a Mockingbird, Rebecca, Life of Pi, The Kite Runner, Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, A Suitable Boy and Beloved, a selection that serendipitously I have read. Aleisha reads the books prior to recommending them to Mukesh, leading to the two of developing a close relationship that begins with their discussions over the books, and the surprising impact they make on their lives, with ghosts of the characters appearing in Mukesh's life.

Mukesh becomes far more outgoing, letting in others into his life, getting close to his young granddaughter, Priya, as reading becomes an integral part of his life, feeling closer to Naina as a result. This is a beautiful and enthralling read, totally riveting, paying homage to books, libraries, readers and communities, a life affirming novel amidst the grief, death, loneliness and challenging circumstances that the characters find themselves in. I would like to suggest that anyone who has plans to read any of the books on the reading list that they do so before reading this, as there are major spoilers in it. I highly recommend this incredible debut to any and every reader.  

--

The act to 'Save our Libraries' is indeed a great initiative and stress buster. 

That line about steeping into someone elses skin. Dean telling her daughter Aleisha that things die all the time, It's not a big deal. Aiden, and his special plate with Peter Rabbit's ever smiling face and shards of it was something never expected. 

Books they have the power to heal, and at times, we do wonder, does it take us away from the real life?

Books find us at the right time, give us comfort when needed, give us escape, an opportunity to live beyond our life, opportunity to love more powerfully, a chance to open up and let people in. 


And like most of the book lovers thoughts, the book just before Acknowledgements ends with:

"These books found me at just the right time in my life. I can remember each of them so vividly, I remember the characters as though they were friends, sometimes even family. I can remember exactly where I was and how I felt when I turned that final page. They've stayed with me ever since. 



Monday, October 16, 2023

CAKE (Compassion, Acceptance, Kindness and Empathy).

 Applying Compassion, Acceptance, Kindness and Empathy techniques can foster healthier and more fulfilling interpersonal connections.

Would You agree if I say, having CAKE daily is good for health?

Compassion

Compassion is a social feeling that motivates people to go out of their way to relieve the physical, mental, or emotional pains of others and themselves.

How to Practice Compassion

Speak with kindness.

Apologize when you've made a mistake.

Listen carefully and without judgment.

Encourage other people.

Offer to help someone with a task.

Be happy for someone else's success.

Accept people for who they are.

Forgive people for making mistakes.

Compassionate Inner Voice

“I’m human, and I’m growing”

“I’ve faced challenges before and have come out stronger. I can handle this too.”

“I forgive myself; mistakes are opportunities for growth.”

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, I’m allowed to have difficult moments.”

Acceptance:

Acceptance in human psychology is a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition that is a fait accompli without attempting to change it or protest it. The concept is close in meaning to acquiescence, derived from the Latin acquiēscere.

Characteristics of an Accepting Person

1.       CONFIDENT. An accepting person must be confident in one's own self, beliefs and values to accept that other people may feel differently or believe something else and they have every right to feel that way.

2.       FLEXIBLE. ...

3.       FORGIVING. ...

4.       OPEN-MINDED. ...

5.       PATIENT. ...

6.       RESPECTFUL. ...

7.       SENSITIVE. ...

8.       THOUGHTFUL.

Kindness:



Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistance, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return. 

Kindness: Surprise others with a gesture that brings a smile to their face and shows consideration for their feelings.

Remember being Kind to yourself is very important.

 

Empathy

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position. 

Sympathy is feeling bad for someone who is lesser than I am; Empathy is actively understand where others are coming form and being tuned to their needs

 

Reach out with a text, email or note to let someone know you’re thinking of them and are there for them.

·       Nurture self-encouragement

·       Accept yourself, as you are

·       Honor your accomplishments

·       Acknowledge your emotion without judgement

 

Write down:

 

Today, I commit to….

I want to do this because….

I will accomplish this by……

 

Think of one person you can invite :

 

C – ………….Invite to join for an evening walk in the park

A – ----------Schedule check in calls to help them embrace current difficulties.

K – ------------------ Give verbal assurance to reach out for any conversation or assistance

E - ------------------ Validate their emotions and provide non- judgmental space to express.

Compassion’s spark ignites a chain,

Acceptance bridges, breaking pain,

Kindness glows, its light displayed,

Empathy’s embrace, bonds remade.

In this dance of heart and souls,

A symphony of connections unfolds.

Compassion, acceptance, kindness, empathy.

Together, they shape our shared legacy.

There is a  ‘Ripple Effect’ to all that we do. Whatever we do, comes back to us. 

Thursday, October 12, 2023

A journey Into Myself...

 Each of us have a different answer to the question "Who am I" Some tags and labels become a significant part of us, such as the roles we play in relationships, our profession, our hobbies etc. The categories these belongs to include

  • Personal identity
  • Associative identity
  • Egoic identity
  • Familial identity

Egoic simply means “pertaining to ego” or “pertaining to I.” Egoic thoughts, motives, emotions, and behaviors are reactions in which I, me, and mine take center stage. An egoic reaction is one in which I am centrally involved

familial
/fəˈmɪlɪəl/
adjective
relating to or occurring in a family or its members.
"familial relationships"

Influences in forming our story

  • Schooling
  • Parents, teachers, elders
  • Religion and faith
  • Media
  • Culture
Identification and Internalisation

Identification is the process of perceiving something as an inseparable part of yourself. Identification are highly personal, can change over time and can be positive or negative. 

Internalisation is the shift from 'I have' to 'I am'

I have 10 years of experience, I can speak well in front of big crowds. I have analytical thinking skills. 

I am experienced/I am an expert. I am an orator. I am intelligent. 

These two processes lead us to focus on only one aspect of our identity - that which may be core to our memories and experiences, that which may have been validated by others and so on. 

Being Mindful: Building an inside-out focus

The construction of a healthy and dynamic sense of self involves recognizing all the 4 aspects of identity, namely, familial, personal, egoic and associative. Keeping this in mind answer, answers to the questions will lead you to build your story from the inside out. 

How do I describe Myself? * If I don't go by existing norms.
  • Who defines/controls/influences My definitions?
  • What does success mean to me?
  • How do I Evaluate myself?
  • Who/What do I like?
  • What is Fulfilling to me?
"Your Vision Will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." ~ Carl Jung. 

Monday, October 09, 2023

The Professionals' Guide to ChatGPT ~ CA. V PATTABHI RAM & CA. Dungar Chand U Jain

 Live Links This evening's book launch. The Professionals' Guide to ChatGPT

At 6.00 pm on Monday, 9 October 2023 *Dr Palanivel Thiaga Rajan* Hon’ble Minister for Information Technology Govt of Tamilnadu is the Chief Guest.

Welcome address by Mahalingam Sir. It was a big loss not having this during his growing up years.

Sheer capacity to collate, compute and do things, in a cost effective way, a personal assistant that is starting to change life.

Dr. Palanivel Thiagarajan Minister of Information Technology and Digital Services, Government of Tamil Nadu, in the welcome address and in his forward says: "The journey of AI has been spectacular – from its humble start in science fiction to its seamless present-day applications. I believe that in a few years, it will become as mainstream as Google, the search engine. Yet, ChatGPT and related AI tools remain a mystery for many of us. This is where this book comes in handy."

Two questions you can take!!
1. What does ChatGPT bring to the table that is revolutionary and unique, and how does it stand out from traditional machine interactions? 2. How does the text explain ChatGPT’s versatility and ability to assist in various fields and industries? Provide specific examples of scenarios where ChatGPT could be beneficial. Two immediate applicaitons - law and medicine.

Pattabhiram Sir on the book:

Living in most amazing time of history. We are seeing the magic of AI in front of our eyes, from being a science fiction, in a manner we can completely understand.

The book


The contributors. 




Panel discussion

Before marriage historical, after marriage : fair valuation.

90% people use Chat GPT as google, it is not google.

Personal Productivity Enhancement Tool.

Invest on technology, learn technology, but be strong on fundamentals.

Whether we like it or not, it is time to embrace ChatGPT.

Father of action is decision and mother is information. Like freedom without discipline is  country without defence, Information without regulation is humans without protection. 


Wednesday, October 04, 2023

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth Hardcover - T. Harv Eker


Have you ever wondered why some people seem to get rich easily, while others are destined for a life of financial struggle? Is the difference found in their education, intelligence, skills, timing, work habits, contacts, luck, or their choice of jobs, businesses, or investments?

The shocking answer is: None of the above!

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind explains how people unconsciously develop rigid attitudes and behavioral patterns in their relationship to money that they learned from their parents – and that will determine their future wealth. It presents the key guiding principles and thought patterns that millionaires live by and anybody who wants to get rich should adopt.

In his groundbreaking Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker states: "Give me five minutes, and I can predict your financial future for the rest of your life!" Eker does this by identifying your "money and success blueprint." We all have a personal money blueprint ingrained in our subconscious minds, and it is this blueprint, more than anything, that will determine our financial lives. You can know everything about marketing, sales, negotiations, stocks, real estate, and the world of finance, but if your money blueprint is not set for a high level of success, you will never have a lot of money—and if somehow you do, you will most likely lose it! The good news is that now you can actually reset your money blueprint to create natural and automatic success.

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind is two books in one. 

Part I - Your Money Blueprint: This chapter explains how your money blueprint works. Through Eker's rare combination of street smarts, humor, and heart, you will learn how your childhood influences have shaped your financial destiny. You will also learn how to identify your own money blueprint and "revise" it to not only create success but, more important, to keep and continually grow it. It explains how each of us is conditioned to think and act when it comes to money and outline four key strategies for revising our mental money blueprint. 

We are conditioned in three primary ways:

1. Verbal Programming - What did you hear when you were young?  

2. Modeing - What did you see when you were young? and 

3. Specific incidents - What did you experience when you were young?

Steps for changing these; one need to go through - Awareness; Understanding; Disassociation, Declaration. 

Combine the inner game (the toolbox) with the outer game (the tools), results will go through the roof.  Dig out the massive, toxic weed from inner 'financial garden', get inundated with more fruits! 


Wealth Principle:

  1. Give me five minutes and I can predict your financial future for the rest of your life
  2.  P-) T -)F-)A=R; Programming leads to Thoughts, Thoughts lead to feelings, Feelings lead to actions and actions lead to results. 
  3. When the subconscious mind must choose between deeply rooted emotions and logic, emotions will almost always win
  4. If your motivation for acquiring money or success comes from a nonsupportive root such as fear, anger, or the need to 'prove' yourself, your money will never bring your happiness. (Don't plan to save for a raining day - you will attract rainy day in your life. Save for Joy days)
  5. The only way to permanently change the temperature in the room is to reset the thermostat. In the same way, the only way to change your level of financial success 'permanently' is to reset your financial thermostat. 
  6. Consciousness is observing your thoughts and actions so that you can live from true choice in the present moment rather than being run by programming from the past. 
Both the Midas touch and the kiss-of-death syndromes are nothing more than the manifestations of money blueprints. Entertain only those thoughts that empower you. 

Remember:

1 Specific thought patterns preprogram our wealth.
2 Our thought patterns are shaped by what our parents taught us about money.
3 We unconsciously reproduce the income strategies of our parents.
4 Before changing your way of thinking, perform a thorough inventory.
5 Breaking the pattern with new guiding principles and new behavior.
6 If you want to be rich, you have to learn to take fate into your own hands.
7 Future millionaires should have a positive attitude towards money.
8 You can only get rich if you give it your all.
9 Reach for the stars if you want to become a millionaire.
10 You can only make money grow when you handle it properly.
11 You have to think highly of yourself if you want to be successful and rich.
 

The key to success is to raise your own energy; when you do, people will naturally be attracted to you. And when they show up, bill 'em! . These four quadrants are the physical world, the mental world, the emotional world, and the spiritual world.

Mind is nothing more than a big file cabinet.  

Part II - The Wealth Files: you will be introduced to seventeen "Wealth Files," which describe exactly how rich people think and act differently than most poor and middle-class people. Each Wealth File includes action steps for you to practice in the real world in order to dramatically increase your income and accumulate wealth.

Change your not-doing habits into doing habits. Go from reading to doing. 

Wealth Principle:

  1. You can choose to think in ways that will support you in your happiness and success instead of ways that don't.
  2. There is no such thing as a really rich victim! Only thing they get is attention. If that is what you want. 
  3. If your goal is to be comfortable, chances are you'll never get rich. But if your goal is to be rich, chances are you'll end up mighty comfortable. 
  4. The number one reason most people don't get what they want is that they don't know what they want. 
  5. If you are not fully, totally and truly committed to creating wealth, chances are you won't
  6. The Law of Income: You will be paid in direct proportion to the value you deliver according to the marketplace. 
  7. Bless that which you want. - Huna philosophy. 
  8. Leaders earn a heck of a lot more money than followers
  9. The secret to success is not to try to avoid or get rid of or shrink from your problems; the secret is to grow yourself so that you are bigger than any problem. 
  10. If you have a big problem in your life, all that means is that you are being a small person
  11. If you say you're worthy, you are. If you say you're not worthy, you're not. Either way you will live into your story. 
  12. If a hundred-foot oak tree had the mind of a human, it would only grow to be ten feet tall!
  13. For every giver there must be a receiver, and for every receiver there must be a giver. 
  14. Money will only make you more of what you already are.
  15. How you do anything is how you do everything.
  16. There's nothing wrong with getting a steady paycheck, unless it interferes with your ability to earn what you're worth. There's the rub. It usually does. 
  17. Never have a ceiling on your income. 
  18. Rich people believe "You can have your cake and eat it too." Middle-class people believe "Cake is too rich, so I'll only have a little piece." Poor people don't believe they deserve cake, so they order a doughnut, focus on the hole, and wonder why they have 'nothing'.
  19. The true measure of wealth is net worth, not working income.  (Income both working and passive, savings, Investments, Simplification) Simplification - You need less money to live - lifestyle. 
  20. Where attention goes, energy flows and results show. 
  21. Until you show you can handle what you've got, you won't get any more!
  22. The habit of manging your money is more important than the amount. 
  23. Either you control money, or it will control you. 
  24. Rich people see every dollar as a 'seed' that can be planted to earn a hundred more dollars, which can then be replanted to earn a thousand more dollars. 
  25. Action is the "bridge" between the inner world and the outer world. 
  26. A true warrior can "tame the cobra of fear"
  27. It is not necessary to try to get rid of fear in order to succeed.
  28. If you are willing to do only what's easy, life will be hard. But if you are willing to do what's hard, life will be easy. 
  29. The only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable. 
  30. Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success. 
  31. You can be right or you can be rich, but you can't be both. (Right here means holding on to your old ways of thinking and being. {Also happiness}
  32. Every master was once a disaster. 
  33. To get paid the best, you must be the best. 
If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got. 

~Eric Hoffer; "The learners shall inherit the earth while the learned will be beautifully equipped to live in a world that no longer exists. " 

CEREMONY: Eliminate all distractions; kneel down on one knee and bow your head in respect: "BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME, I HEREBY ANOINT YOU AS 'WORTHY'FROM NOW UNTIL FOREVER MORE!"

If you are not doing as well financially as you would like, you will have to change your money blueprint. Unfortunately your current money blueprint will tend to stay with you for the rest of your life, unless you identify and revise it, and that's exactly what you will do with the help of this extraordinary book. According to T. Harv Eker, it's simple. If you think like rich people think and do what rich people do, chances are you'll get rich too!

Wealth files  - 

  1. Believe: Rich 'I create my life' ; Poor 'Life happens to me' : Blame, justification, complaining (Ask how?)
  2. Play: Rich 'To win' ; Poor 'To Not lose'
  3. Commitment: Rich 'To being Rich' ; Poor 'Wanting to be rich' - Know what you want Levels - want/choose/Commit.
  4. Think : Rich 'Big'; Poor 'Small'.
  5. Focus: Rich 'Opportunities' ; Poor 'Obstacles'
  6. Attitude towards people : Rich 'Admire other rich and successful' ; Poor 'Resent rich and successful'
  7. Association: Rich 'with positive, successful people' ; Poor 'negative, unsuccessful' people
  8. Promotions: Rich 'Willing to promote themselves and their values'; Poor think negatively about selling and promotion. 
  9. Problems : Rich 'Bigger than their problem ; Poor 'smaller'
  10. Receivers: Rich 'excellent' ; Poor 'Poor'
  11. Payment: Rich 'Results'; Poor 'Time'.
  12. Think: Rich 'both/and' ' Poor 'either/or'
  13. Focus: Rich 'Net worth' ; Poor 'working income'.
  14. Manage: Rich 'Manage' well; Poor 'mismanage' 
  15. Work : Rich 'Money work hard for people' ; Poor 'People work hard for money'
  16. Fear : Rich 'Act inspite of fear';  Poor 'Let fear stop them'
  17. Learn: Rich 'constantly learn and grow'; poor 'think they already know'. 
  18. Success: Rich 'Be, Do, Have' ; Poor 'Have, Do, Be'. (Be successful, ..have money)

12 Final Summary : So what the heck Do I do now? 

https://millionairemindevents.com/millionaire-mind-book-bonuses/


Declaration:

"I have a Millionaire Mind."



Place your hand on your heart and say:





  ~ T. Harv Eker (Author), ' Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth Hardcover'.

Keep your commitment. Remember, if you are not as successful as you want to be, there is something you do not know. 

~ W.H. Murray, during one of his Himalayan expedition:

'Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. '

Financial freedom: Ability to live the lifestyle you desire without having to work or relay on anyone else for money.

Late Migrations: A Natural History of Love and Loss - Margaret Renkl



Margaret Renkl is the author of 'Late Migrations: A Natural History of Love and Loss' capture the cycle of life  that will make you want to stay put, reread and savor ever thing about the moment. ....her life story and her life's passion intertwine, like a fence post and a trumpet vine, as well as paintings by her brother.  

Renkl was born in Andalusia, Alabama, and moved with her family to Birmingham, Alabama as a child. Renkl spent much of her childhood out-of-doors, with frequent visits to her maternal grandparents, who remained in Lower Alabama.

"Blessed are the parents whose final words on leaving—the house, the car, the least consequential phone call—are always “I love you.” They will leave behind children who are lost and still found, broken and, somehow, still whole."

The Way You Looked At Me

“My parents and my grandparents and my great-grandmother, all of them, have gathered to watch over me. They are looking at me as if I were the sun, as of they had been cold every day of their lives until now.

I am the sun, but they are not the planets. 

They are the universe.”

~ Margaret Renkl, ‘Late Migrations’

This could have been me. No, it was me indeed. Another place, another time, similar characters. sepiatoned


"In the Storm, Safe from the Storm," Renkl recalls summer thunderstorms when she would sit on her father's lap in a chair placed in the open front door of their little house. She says:

The rain comes and I feel it with the tips of my toes, but they are the only parts of me that get wet, for I have drawn my knees up to my chest under my nightgown, and my father has unbuttoned his corduroy jacket and pulled it around me, and wrapped his arms around me too. I lean into him. I feel the heat from his body and the cool rain from the world, both at once.

But, all too soon, Renkl is writing about leaving home to go to graduate school, kissing, marrying, having children, watching them grow up and away, and taking on the role of caregiver as her parents age and die.

Not all is loss. After her father's death, Renkl says her 71-year-old mother, who'd grown up on an Alabama peanut farm and "had no feeling at all for stories as a source of pleasure or solace," discovered the novels of Jane Austen and then became such a voracious reader she went on to devour racy Jane Austen fan fiction! But all too soon, Renkl's mother succumbs to a cerebral hemorrhage. About her humble mother's last ride from house to hospital, Renkl writes: "She left in a state much larger than herself — two fire trucks, an ambulance, a rolling stretcher pushed by big men."

Late Migrations is a book about grief, yet within that grief lies beauty, wonder, and love. It is also a book about nature and family, and it is self-conscious enough to understand that the wild world and the domestic one exist in a braided ecosystem that hums with meaning. Reminding Us Of Life's Beauty And Fragility.

Human beings are creatures made for joy. Against all evidence, we tell ourselves that grief and loneliness and despair are tragedies, unwelcome variations from the pleasure and calm and safety that in the right way of the world would form the firm ground of our being. In the fairy tale we tell ourselves, darkness holds nothing resembling a gift. 

What we feel always contains its own truth, but it is not the only truth, and darkness almost always harbors some bit of goodness tucked out of sight, waiting for an unexpected light to shine, to reveal it in the deepest hiding place. 

Some stories, so resonated with me; felt like my story: Grieving, and diagnosing a lump in the breast when father is undergoing chemo and dying. For me it was like a competition, both of us lying side by side. Mother being our care taker. He did go. I wasn't dying. I was grieving. I wasn't dying. Not yet. 

Chapter 'What I could save' ends with - 'I saved all these things. But what I couldn't save weighs on my heart like a stone.'

Stroke like Strike, for the Essay competition when at Veegaland say:

"Earth and air won't cease their quarrel. tornadoes take up their form in the Midwest, a writhing cone of sol and breath and bite. 

Hurricanes shoulder and churn off the Gulf coast, each one a gray ferocity, a roaring violence of roiling water. 

Volcanic ash rises in the Philippines. Air becomes mass; dust becomes rock; the sky is raining fire and no hissing rain will come to cool it. 

The ocean floor cracks open in the Pacific, heaving waves of nausea across the surface of the sea. 

A scar down the middle of the Mississippi River unzips and fills the world with livid water.

In Nashville, a brain breaks open. 

In the universe, a star folds in on itself. 

And God said, 'Let there be darkness. 

There is chapter on 'Lexicon' with last words and interactions - 'I love you' & 'Thank You' and there are letters with my parents. 

Derek Walcott quote at the end really summed it up - “So much to do still, all of it praise.”.



Writing about mothers favourite home she thought it to be 'a gift to her, understanding', brother doubted that it would make her feel bad, and . When her mother saw it, 'One day she banged open the door of my office and slammed a copy of the magazine down on the desk. "What is this?' she yelled, her face so flushed the scalp showed pink beneath her clean white hair.'

Dreaming about our loved ones no more; we do wonder, 'It was just a misunderstanding. You're alive.'

Indeed 'There's an art to helping people without making htem feel bad about needing help. It's an art I was learning but hadn't wholly mastered with Mom. '......The end of caregiving isn't freedome. The end of caregiving is grief.

Part 2 of the book is called Ashes. 

You'll never know how much I love You :  Basic fear, the fear of loss. How we look at our loved ones. To know they are breathing and fine. 

With own nest emptying, metaphors of loss are everywhere. "Why did I spend so much time watching for the next milestone when the next milestone never meant the freedom I expected?"

The house that has been loud, fall silent. No more good bye. 

All through as I had been reading the book, kept wondering how and why this title? Was it because family moved? Then comes the essay, almost at the fag end, on Late Migrations. On how Renkly planted 'zinnias' to attract bees and butterfly. These attracted Monarchs. "Monarchs migrate as birds do, but it takes them 4-5 generation to complete. ......Entomologists don't yet understand what makes successive generations follow the same route their ancestors took....'

But the shadow side of love is always loss, and grief is only love’s own twin. My mother was twelve when Mama Alice died. Papa Doc sat down on the porch and settled there, staring at the rambling rosebushes growing beside the road. “He just made up his mind to die, I guess,” my mother always said. “He lasted barely more than a month.”

And then in conclusion:

 This talk of making peace with it. Of feeling it and then finding a way through. Of closure. It's all nonsense. Here is what no one told me about grief: you inhabit it like a skin. Everywhere you go, you wear grief under your clothes. Everything you see, you see through it , like a film. It is not a hidden hair shirt of suffering. It is only you, the thing you are, the cells that cling to each other in your shape., the muscles that are doing your work in the world. .......Like other...it too will change in time. It will change so slowly you won't even see it happening. 

'You are waking into a new shape. You are waking into an old self. 

What I mean is, 

 ~ time offers your old self a new shape. 

~you are the old, ungrieving you, and you are also the new, ruined you. 

You are both and you will always be both. 

There is nothing to fear. There is nothing at all to fear. Walk out into the springtime and look; the birds welcome you with a chorus. The flowers turn their faces to your face. The last of last year's leaves, still damp in the shadows, smell ripe and faintly of fall. 

Holy, Holy, Holy ~ the world will go on. World flaring up in celebration. Someone hearing "It's benign."; "It's a boy' ; Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!



~ Margaret Renkl, ‘Late Migrations’ Again from a post by Bindu Manoj. Thank you