Being Judgemental

Making judgement is fine and needed for living; being judgmental meaning - being overly critical in an unhelpful way, in ways that have harmful or negative consequences is harmful. Here are five signs of being judgemental:
1. Making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others.
2. Having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favour
3. Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others; being inclined to believe the worst.
4. Moving very quickly from judgments of the form "This action is morally wrong" to ones of the form "This person is morally corrupt."
5. Acting as if you can know that what so-and-so did was wrong even though you know much less about the context of so-and-so's action than so-and-so.

Being judgmental distorts our perception of other people, of ourselves and of what matters most in living a well-lived human life.

We judge others because we need to feel better about ourselves. It may make us feel superior or secure in the short-term, but the long-term stress of never feeling good enough can lead to a host of health issues.

How easy it is to be judgemental about others. Most of us are good at it; we judge on how the cricketers should have played; how the soldiers should have fought; who are we to judge and how are we to know what exactly is going at that place, at that point in time – there will be physical, emotional, external and internal factors determining decision making

Being Non judgemental can lead to lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress-related illnesses.

Tame the judgemental you and bring out zen-fullness; here are few tips:

Become aware of your behaviour: admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery,

Believe in yourself: You don't need to judge others, because you're awesome. So believe in that, and remind yourself of it every day. When you feel truly content and comfortable in your own skin, you'll likely discover that you find less fault in others.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes: Remember, you make the choices you do because of your unique upbringing and life circumstances. Not everyone has had the same experiences, challenges and blessings you have had. Be empathetic and understanding.

Stop gossiping: Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal other person’s dignity, honest reputation and credibility; which are challenging to restore. When your feet slip, you can always recover your balance, but when your tongue slips you cannot recover your words.

Watch your language: Don't tell people what they 'should' do, or deem a choice to be right or wrong, bad or good. That's applying your moral code to someone's actions – and it's up to others to decide what's right for them.

If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know about you, don’t feel bad. Just remember, “Dogs bark, if they don’t know the person”

The sooner you break the rule, the better off you are

There is no rule to cling on to the past, except for your parents may be to an extend; because of whom you are born. The sooner you break that rule, the better off you are. Is it true? Depends on at what stage of life you are in. Living in the present means different priorities, different future plans, different preferences, different aspirations. We take with us those who help us meet the above…Walk along. Past is just a milestone.

Just because ‘You’ are my past does not guarantee you being in my present or future; and likewise should all think. There is effort and intent that should translate into keen ness to foster a relationship. Be it friendship or any other. So let us not carry any stress on our shoulders of the past. If there is an agenda for the present or future, let’s get ready for another level of commitments. That’s my take on life of relationships. End of prelude.

Don't be too confident when someone tells you they like you. The real question is, until when? Because just like season, people also change.

Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there’s no love. Without trust there is no reason to continue.

Inner Engineering, Isha and Yoga

“As there is a science and technology to create external wellbeing, there is a whole science and technology for inner wellbeing.” Sadhguru.

Inner Engineering; is a silent revolution of self-realisation. The prerequisite for it is being intense and relaxed as we are in a cinema theatre. The program has been designed by Sadhguru; Program components include guided meditations and transmission of the sacred Shambhavi Maha Mudra; an ancient and powerful kriya for deep inner transformation, which creates harmony. The main learnings from the program were:

• Our actions depend on our intensity of desire
• We are responsible for what is happening to us and around us
• This moment is inevitable; happiness is getting what you want and accepting it.
• Karma/Action – Take charge of your life.
• Importance of yoga/meditation/natural food & Recipes.

Isha foundation; a non-profit, volunteer organization addresses all aspects of human wellbeing. This includes its powerful yoga programs for inner transformation like hata yoga, shoonya meditation, Bhava Spandana Program, Samyama; its inspiring social and environmental projects; a range of outreach initiatives such as action for rural rejuvenation, Isha Vidhya and project GreenHands.; Dhyanalinga a multireligious meditation shrine and its Theerthakund.

“The source of life is within you. If you remain in touch with that source, everything about you will be beautiful”

Being to Isha Yoga on the 11th of August was a dream come true though my initial stand remains the same that I follow my innervoice and not any Godman’s – self-proclaimed or Thrust.

Had been for Art of living around 2002 and a yoga teacher myself around 1987-88; and though it had been years, things were just flowing and this was an amazing experience; especially because; as happened to realise later – yoga is not about exercise or body movements alone.

In Patanjali's Yoga Sutra, the eightfold path is called ashtanga, which literally means "eight limbs" (ashta=eight, anga=limb). These eight steps basically act as guidelines on how to live a meaningful and purposeful life.

1. Yama: deals with one's ethical standards and sense of integrity, focusing on our behavior and how we conduct ourselves in life.
Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
1. The five yamas are:
i. Ahimsa: nonviolence
ii. Satya: truthfulness
iii. Asteya: nonstealing
iv. Brahmacharya: continence
v. Aparigraha: noncovetousness

2. Niyama the second limb, has to do with self-discipline and spiritual observances.
The five niyamas are:
I. Saucha: cleanliness
II. Samtosa: contentment
III. Tapas: heat; spiritual austerities
IV. Svadhyaya: study of the sacred scriptures and of one's self
V. Isvara pranidhana: surrender to God

3. Asana: the postures practiced in yoga, comprise the third limb. In the yogic view, the body is a temple of spirit, the care of which is an important stage of our spiritual growth. Through the practice of asanas, we develop the habit of discipline and the ability to concentrate, both of which are necessary for meditation.

4. Pranayama: Generally translated as breath control, this fourth stage consists of techniques designed to gain mastery over the respiratory process while recognizing the connection between the breath, the mind, and the emotions. As implied by the literal translation of pranayama, "life force extension," yogis believe that it not only rejuvenates the body but actually extends life itself. You can practice pranayama as an isolated technique or integrate it into your daily hatha yoga routine.
These first four stages of Patanjali's ashtanga yoga concentrate on refining our personalities, gaining mastery over the body, and developing an energetic awareness of ourselves, all of which prepares us for the second half of this journey, which deals with the senses, the mind, and attaining a higher state of consciousness.

5. Pratyahara: the fifth limb, means withdrawal or sensory transcendence. It is during this stage that we make the conscious effort to draw our awareness away from the external world and outside stimuli. Keenly aware of, yet cultivating a detachment from, our senses, we direct our attention internally. The practice of pratyahara provides us with an opportunity to step back and take a look at ourselves. This withdrawal allows us to objectively observe our cravings: habits that are perhaps detrimental to our health and which likely interfere with our inner growth.

6. Dharana: As each stage prepares us for the next, the practice of pratyahara creates the setting for dharana, or concentration. Having relieved ourselves of outside distractions, we can now deal with the distractions of the mind itself.
In the practice of concentration, which precedes meditation, we learn how to slow down the thinking process by concentrating on a single mental object: a specific energetic center in the body, an image of a deity, or the silent repetition of a sound. We, of course, have already begun to develop our powers of concentration in the previous three stages of posture, breath control, and withdrawal of the senses. In asana and pranayama, although we pay attention to our actions, our attention travels. Our focus constantly shifts as we fine-tune the many nuances of any particular posture or breathing technique. In pratyahara we become self-observant; now, in dharana, we focus our attention on a single point. Extended periods of concentration naturally lead to meditation.

7. Dhyana:Meditation or contemplation, the seventh stage of ashtanga, is the uninterrupted flow of concentration. Although concentration (dharana) and meditation (dhyana) may appear to be one and the same, a fine line of distinction exists between these two stages. Where dharana practices one-pointed attention, dhyana is ultimately a state of being keenly aware without focus. At this stage, the mind has been quieted, and in the stillness it produces few or no thoughts at all. The strength and stamina it takes to reach this state of stillness is quite impressive. But don't give up. While this may seem a difficult if not impossible task, remember that yoga is a process. Even though we may not attain the "picture perfect" pose, or the ideal state of consciousness, we benefit at every stage of our progress.

8. Samadhi: state of ecstasy. At this stage, the meditator merges with his or her point of focus and transcends the Self altogether. The meditator comes to realize a profound connection to the Divine, an interconnectedness with all living things. With this realization comes the "peace that passeth all understanding"; the experience of bliss and being at one with the Universe. What Patanjali has described as the completion of the yogic path is what, deep down, all human beings aspire to: peace. We also might give some thought to the fact that this ultimate stage of yoga—enlightenment—can neither be bought nor possessed. It can only be experienced, the price of which is the continual devotion of the aspirant.

And then there are levels to Samadhi as well – An ocean to learn.

Thanks to Meera; Praseed’s wife for giving a detailed insight into this.

Compatibility Vs. Divorce - Truth is stranger than fiction

What remains together depend upon the compatibility; whether it be people or things.

Irrespective of the level of education, status in society, region people come from – basically human beings are ‘thinking’ animals ; what they think makes the difference

What cannot remain with us in rain, will not be there with us in storm and therefore we would not want them to be together in the sunshine.

At times it is difficult to realise that things are falling apart – could be because we trust beyond how much has to be trusted.

It is easy to break things, but difficult to bring them together. So hurting to see relations break so easily these days; and more so to what extend learned people do it and fail to understand things falling apart.

An Engineer was asked: “ What is the Technical Difference between welding and wedding?” He replied “Not much, both are joints in a way, in welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, and in wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever.

Things and relations fall apart, not always because one is bad (at times may be); but because things and people are not compatible. But there is integrity and trust – especially expected from Human Beings. Heart breaking to see how events in life unfold.

One should not be killed; so also there should not be forged divorce. It should be by mutual consent.

Better people are separated if they are destined or not compatible; but there should be human integrity and basic decency in the way it is done.

They come to us when we least expect them. – All things especially –
• Wedding – People who never want to be married get married, and some marriage turn out to be a success; while those we expect to end up in marriage never happens; this is from time immortal.
• Home – There are people who are unable to construct homes/even a proper roof over their head; some are able to construct but are never fortunate enough to live in their own house
• Death – The only truth of our life. – We never know when we are bound to embrace it.

And divorce is death of a relationship. A delicate one for that matter; made in heaven?

Life is not easy, and Truth is stranger than fiction.

Dunja, Kate to Michelle

The year began with the visit of Dunja from Germany and had Kate from UK mid year followed by Michelle from Canada. Had amazing time, taking them around. With Dunja, had been to every team members house - Athirapilly to Allapuzha enroute the Muvattupuzha - rivers, lakes seas and beaches; with Malls - Ladies day out. She turning 50; stayed at our home too.

And with Kate - had been to Fort Kochi - an amazing moment - we never know what next and when the final Good bye is. Let us live each and every second of our life with love and spread joy and happiness; then to Kodanad now moved to Kappricaud with Jaffer and family; during the same time - had amazing trip with team to Bhoothankettu. We did everything there from trecking, to playing games, singing and campfire.

And then with Mich after 25 years, it was fun moving around Fort Kochi.

House Vs. Spouse

Both important milestones and a moment to celebrate in every person’s life; though all might not keep talking about it, most people dream of having one of each and of their choice.

Some get both above and beyond their expectation and some have to struggle a lot to get them, while for others they just fall in place at the right time.

Many keep thinking which should be a priority, and both just gets delayed. Some insist that they want the one before the other - but for each their own. Some are destined not to have either in their lifetime; and some suffer a great deal on having them.

Habits and Discipline

“There is no such thing as good habits and bad habits. Habit means living life without awareness.”

Would this apply for food and dressing as well?

Had an interesting conversation the other day with regard to dressing.

A friend of mine very particular and careful about dressing, basically a fashionist said – People could wear any dress modern/traditional; loose/tight; they are all individual choices, but wearing dresses with words written on them is inviting and should be avoided – No pun intended; but this was said, by the person who was wearing a dress with something written on it.

So with the food habits or for that matter anyother.

Can we say so with discipline?

Discipline is the suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with self-restraint and control. Discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one's desires. It is doing what needs to be done, even when one don’t want to do it. ‘What needs to be done?’ Can that be like habit without awareness? Nevertheless it does not mean the majority is right, or to go with the crowd. Not confined to one area, but covering words, thoughts and actions.

Celebrating Life at 40

Thank you all my dears for giving me a wonderful day today Thanks for all the valuable time and teachings. Just as it is an annual account closing date; wish we could continue and move forward with more understanding, love, joy and cheer as our opening balances. You are my blessings which keep me happy.

Day began with cake cutting at 12 am, with 40 candles - Thanks to my sweet roommates - Rohini and Christy - and there was the surprise Fish Tank - from Tara, Neil and Sajeev. They brought another cake in the morning; and received tons of books - more than 10 to be precise. Change in team - two teams now.

And what an amazing art work! Truly incredible! The art director being Sanju Vimal.

C/O Saira Banu

Not just 'Hand of God' and 'My mother's hand' , but this movie do make us ponder on so many issues, both social and emotional. With awesome performances by the leading ladies. Even more when you watch the movie at D cinemas.

Saira, a post woman, decides to fight for her adopted son, Joshua, after he is falsely implicated and faces life imprisonment. Manju Warrier, Amala, Shane Nigam were all awesome.

Law of attraction

Never belived in the 'Law of attraction' before as I do now. Started the week singing, 'Tho Kich mere photo' ended the week with tons of pics being clicked Thanks for the Annual day celebration in office; and this time around it was at Royal Residency Kakkanad, and guess what, I was in the reception committee. Next week it was Dil Chatha hey - and had lots of friends, visiting, calling and talking. Bonus being the visit of Ammachi and family.

Vrindhavan - Brijbhoomi to Dwaraka

RadheShyam - The tradition prevails. As per Mythology though Krishna was born in Madhura, he was brought up in Vrindavan, where his father took him, the night he was born. This Brijbhoomi is 11 kms from Madhura and will mismerise you with its temples and prayers and is now in the state of Uttar Pradesh. After Killing his Uncle Kans, when grown up, he went to Dwaraka which is now in Gujarath.

Amma went to Vrindavan last year and to Dwaraka this year. A Bliss!

Beauty and the Beast

Was amazing watching beauty and the best - living the childhood days.

Directed by Bill Condon, the movie had an enchanting cast, beautifully crafted songs, refashioning the classic story. It is worth a watch. Indeed a family musical romantic fantasy adventure film and a friend in need to make a memorable weekend.

Black Box Thinking

Marginal Gains and the secret of High Performance – In this book, Matthew Syed tells the inside story of how success really happens and how we cannot grow unless we are prepared to learn from our mistakes with various case studies and real-world examples; the contents are broadly divided as below:

 Part 1: The Logic of Failure
 Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
 Part3: Confronting Complexity
 Part4: Small Steps and Giant Leaps
 Part5: The Blame Game
 Part6: Creating a Growth culture

To explain them in detail:



The sad story of Martin losing his wife – because of medical error and he taking this up – ‘So that others may learn, and even more may live’.

ü Part 1: The Logic of Failure – Why mistakes happen? – Complexity, scarce resource, need to make quick decisions, procrastination and signature (particular trajectories and subtle pattern being followed). Perspective that failure is profoundly negative, something to be ashamed of in ourselves and judgemental about in others; the tendency to stigmatize errors is incorrect. Aviation learns from failure, while healthcare evades. The ‘response’ to failures make the difference. Those with tough task underestimate the time taken to complete them. The mnemonic which has been used to improve the assertiveness in aviation industry is called ‘P.A.C.E’ (Probe, Alert, Challenge, Emergency). Practice is about harnessing the benefits of leaning from failure while reducing its cost. It is better to fail in practice than on the big stage itself. It is complementary to failing in the real-world which is most threatening to our ego. While learning from failure, we need to take into account all the data, including that we cannot immediately see, to learn from adverse incidents. It is not easy, even in conceptual terms, let alone emotional terms. It takes careful thought and a willingness to pierce through the surface assumptions. Need to look beyond the obvious data to glimpse the underlying lessons. The paradox of success is that, it is built upon failure. The rule book in aviation, procedures there is because someone somewhere died. We cannot forget the lessons, and relearn later. Self-correction is a central aspect of how science progress. We can develop and build mastery with practise, not days and weeks but months and years. Until we change the way we think about failure, the ambition of high performance will remain a mirage. Stop failure denials.

When pilots make mistakes, it results in their own deaths, doctor mistake, results in the death of someone else. So, pilots are better motivated than doctors to reduce mistakes. Failure is inevitable in a complex world so learning from mistakes is so imperative. Healthcare is more complex with huge diversity, more hands on and rarely has the benefit of autopilot - all of which adds to the scope for error.


ü Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
It is the inner tension we feel when among other things our beliefs are challenged by evidence. It is held up as a testament to the quirkiness of human psychology. People should not be punished for the crimes they didn’t commit. There is a rather obvious trade-off between two of the key objectives of the justice system: Convicting the guilty and acquitting the innocent. It is important to reduce wrongful conviction without compromising rightful convictions. There could be errors of commission or omissions. Deceptions could be external/internal/deliberate. When we think of miscarriages of justice, we often focus on the person who has been jailed for a crime he didn’t commit. But devastating is the real criminal is committing more crimes.

ü Part3: Confronting Complexity

Tendency to underestimate the complexity around us is a well- studied aspect of human psychology, and it is underpinned, in part, by the so-called narrative fallacy. We are so eager to impose patterns upon what we see, so hardwired to provide explanations, that we are capable of ‘explaining’ opposite outcomes with the same cause without noticing the inconsistency. Narrative fallacies arises inevitably from our continuous attempt to make sense of the world. The explanatory stories that people find compelling are simple, concrete, assign a larger role to talent, stupidity and intentions and focus on a few striking events that happened. Feedbacks helps. There might be no time for Masterplans, need to learn from rapid interactions too. Cognitive Dissonance helps us reframe, spin and sometimes edit our mistakes.


ü Part4: Small Steps and Giant Leaps

The approach of Marginal Gains comes from the idea that if you break down a big goal into small parts, and then improve on each of them, you will deliver a huge increase when you put them all together. Easy to comment, difficult to perform. Go out and test. You might be wrong, but it will lead to progress. Progress is not about small steps, but creative leaps. It is a matter of debate if we need to focus on bold leaps or marginal gains – Simple answer is both. Success is about developing the capacity to think big and small, to be both imaginative and disciplined, to immerse oneself in the minutiae of a problem and to stand beyond it in order to glimpse the wider vista. Innovation cannot happen without failure. The aversion to failure is the single largest obstacle to creative change.

When things go smooth, we might not have motivation to be better, to change. Challenge help us grow, be better. Eg. Relativity, masking tape, wind-up radio, ATM, Dropbox. Creativity should be thought of as a dialogue. You have to have a problem before you can have the game-changing riposte. Creativity is connecting things. The eureka moment is not the endpoint of innovation, it is the start of most fascinating stage.


ü Part5: The Blame Game

Blame is a subversion of the narrative fallacy: an oversimplification driven by biases in the human brain. It has subtle but measurable consequences, undermining our capacity to learn. Engage with the complexity of the world to learn from it. Resist the hardwired tendency to blame instantly, look deeper into factors surrounding error, create culture based on openness and honesty rather than defensiveness and back-covering. Blame often leads to what is called ‘circular firing squad’ - where everyone is blaming everyone else. It is familiar in business, politics and military; a mutual exercise in deflecting responsibility. Everyone may be sincere, but think that it is other’s fault. Blame too much and people will clam up. Blame too little and they will become sloppy. A contrast is often offered between ‘blame culture’ and ‘anything goes’ culture. Judged from deeper angle, these are not in conflict. Reconciliation of -discipline and openness lies in black box thinking. Justifiable blame does not undermine openness. ‘Just culture’. For this there needs to be Trust. There is almost no human action or decision that cannot be made to look flawed and less sensible in the misleading light of hindsight.

Overcoming the blame tendency is a defining issue in the corporate world. Ben Dattner, a psychologist and organizational consultant writes about a coworker who had stapled to his cubical, six phases of a project:

Enthusiasm
Disillusionment
Panic
Search for the guilty
Punishment of the innocent
Rewards for the uninvolved


Professionals working on the ground have crucial data to share in almost any context. So openness is not an optional extra, it is a useful cultural add-on.

Meritocracy is synonymous with forward accountability. True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.


ü Part6: Creating a Growth culture

A growth-orientated culture is not a happy-clappy, wishy-washy, we-are-all-winners approach to business or life. And it is certainly not a trope to egalitarian sensibilities. Rather it is a cutting-edge approach to organizational psychology based upon the most basic scientific principle of all: we progress fastest when we face up to failure – and learn from it.

Mindset is not quite as binary as it might sound. Success is based on a combination of talent and practice. When someone is given a new challenge, they will be less than perfect first time. Some seek feedback and improve, others are threatened by initial ‘failure’ and try never to be in the same situation again.

Failure is a means of learning, progressing and becoming more creative. Don’t deal with failure as it did not happen or blame someone else. That would be wasted opportunity. Take action to make a difference. Positive ones. At times people are prepared to go to a great extend to protect their ego and the expense of their own long-term success, this is called ‘self-handicapping’. Self-esteem can cause us to jeopardize learning if we think it might risk us looking anything less than perfect. What we really need is resilence, the capacity to face failure and to learn from it. Ultimately, that is what growth is all about.

Through seeking we learn and know things better. The first and most important issue is to create a revolution in the way we think about failure. Remember no one can possibly give us more service than by showing us what is wrong with what we think or do.

The Self-Empowerment Pledge

Seven Simple Promises That will change your life.

Monday’s Promise: Responsibility

I will take complete responsibility for my health, my happiness, my success and my life, and will not blame others for my problems or predicaments.

Tuesday’s Promise: Accountability

I will not allow low self-esteem, self-limiting beliefs, or the negativity of others to prevent me from achieving my authentic goals and from becoming the person I am meant to be.

Wednesday’s Promise: Determination

I will do the things I’m afraid to do, but which I know should be done. Sometimes this will mean asking for help to do that which I cannot do by myself.

Thursday’s Promise: Contribution

I will earn the help I need in advance by helping other people now, and repay the help I receive by serving others later.

Friday’s Promise: Resilience

I will face rejection and failure with courage, awareness, and perseverance, making these experiences the platform for future acceptance and success.

Saturday’s Promise: Perspective

Though I might not understand why adversity happens, by my conscious choice I will find strength, compassion, and grace through my trials.

Sunday’s Promise: Fatih

My faith and my gratitude for all that I have been blessed with will shine through in my attitudes and in my actions.

Miss Smilla’s feeling for snow

Finally finished reading Miss Smilla’s feeling for snow.

A small boy falls to his death from a city rooftop. Accident, say the police. Murder, says his resourceful friend Smilla, who, half- Greenlander, can read the marks left in the snow. The story is about her quest for truth.

A child needs both parents. That is one of the practical reasons why marriage is sacred. That does not mean that I do not regard love between man and woman as holy. It is, however, only one stage along the way. A stage, that I have permitted myself to skip, so to speak.

One of the reasons I’m fond of ice is that it covers the water and makes it solid, safe, negotiable, classifiable. I know that, outside, the waves and the wind have picked up, and far forward the bow of the kronos is pitching through the waves, splintering them, and sending roaring cascades of water along the gunwale until, outside my porthole, they disperse into a whistling mist shining white in the night. On the open sea there are no landmarks, there is only an amorphous, chaotic shifting of directionless masses of water that loom up and break and roll, and their surface is, in turn, broken by subsystems, that interfere and form whirlpools and appear and disappear and finally vanish without a trace. Slowly this confusion will work its way into the labyrinth of my ear and dissolve my sense of orientation ; it will fight its way into my cells and displace their salt concentrations and the conductive power of my nervous system as well, leaving me deaf, blind, and helpless. I’m not afraid of the sea merely because it wants to strangle me. I’s afraid of it because it will take away from me my orientation, the inner gyroscope of my life, my awareness of what is up and down, my connection to absolute space.

A breakdown doesn’t necessarily have to be a collapse; it can also take the form of a quiet slide into resignation. Don’t let loneliness get into you. Let it be a brief period of solitude and introspection, to return to the social group as a stronger person.

It’s only what you do not understand that you can come to a conclusion about. There will be no conclusion.

Thank you Dunja for suggesting this book. It was a memorable journey into a new land, and how the world has shrunk, and science and people, are destroyed for personal gains.

Day for Women

Loved this writing by Preethi – from School days…

If we must celebrate a day for women, let us celebrate freedom from stereotypes, from expectations, from idolisation from sacrifice…
Stop congratulating women for being the secret behind a successful man…start saluting them for being successful!
Stop saying the mother is sacred for all the sacrifices she makes…Try to reduce those sacrifices!
Stop telling women they are beautiful…Try telling them it’s not important to be beautiful!
Stop praising her roles as mother, wife, daughter, sister…celebrate her as an individual, a person, independent of relationships.
Stop justifying her necessity to multitask..Give her a chance not to!
Stop these constructs which are aimed at making her strive for an impossible balance…Let her be inadequate and happy!
Stop making her look at herself through a viewpoint. Let her be imperfect, whimsical, irresponsible, boorish, lazy, fierce, opinionated, loud, flabby, ungroomed, adventurous, unpredictable, unprepared, impractical…and YET be SPECIAL.

----

Every women who awakens COURAGE in herself is DURGA,
Every women who awakens TRANSFORMATION in herself is KALI
Every women who awakens DEVOTION in herself is PARVATHI
Every women who awakens NURTURING in herself is ANNAPURNA
Every women who awakens SHIVA in herself is SHAKTI
Celebrate the goodness within

Love is in the air this Valentine's day.....

With crazy co-workers, and loving team; there was a new friend this year. The day began with a twist - a so called horror movie which reminded - You can take a girl our of Mumbai, but not mumbai out of a girl-

Anyone who loves, in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time. Once in Life, Do fall in Love, not necessarily with a person, but with an idea, a dream, an ambition...More often it'll be a reason to wake up with a smile.

And so well was the office arranged for this day, indeed we love our work - comming late, leaving early and so many different things - for each their own!

Had an amazing day with my colleagues. Love you zindagi!!!

Death

Young or Old,
Healthy or unhealthy,
Rich or poor,
Men or Women,
Liked or unliked,
Whatever or wherever you are,
One thing is for sure,
We gonna die.

Life is but a fleeting show,
All tall, as a ball,
Why this ego, why the fight,
We are one, belonging
To the human race.

The Girl on The Train

Here comes another in line or next to "The girl with a dragon Tatoo" and " Gone Girl" - Indeed " Gripping, enthralling - a top-notch thriller and a compulsive read"

"Rachel, devastated by her recent divorce, spends her daily commute fantasizing about the seemingly perfect couple who live in a house that her train passes every day, until one morning she sees something shocking happen there and becomes entangled in the mystery that unfolds. Based on Paula Hawkins' bestselling novel."

The story is a first-person narrative told from the point of view of three women: Rachel, Anna, and Megan. The three women from life of Tom, whose whole life was constructed on lies - falsehoods and half-truths told to make him look better, stronger, more interesting than he was.

Hollowness: There isn't anything you can do to fix it. The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps.

Past is a bucket of ashes

There is a famous quote which say: "I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, no just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post mortems; and remember, no one can get the jump on the future."

We carry some ashes with us, while disburse some ashes and carry the memories, while some others are completely wiped out.

We live life only once, and to make it memorable and enjoy it, better we don't carry with us any grudges, and harsh memories. Live life as it comes. Embrace change and reality, and move on.

All for himself, and God for All.
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One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister..

Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.

Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.

This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

- Paulo Coelho

Bollywood Movies from 2016

Courtesy : Yahoo News - but this was exactly what I was thinking so few tweeks from me.

The Khans continued to rule the roost as Fan (Shah Rukh Khan), Sultan (Salman Khan) and Dangal (Aamir Khan) are still the biggest films of the year, while Akshay Kumar moved from strength to strength with two incredible portrayals in Airlift and Rustom.

Airlift


The massive evacuation of Indian refugees from Kuwait during the Gulf War was a story waiting to be told. This one had all the elements of a war thriller, with equal measures of despair, drama, fortitude and hope. And our director does a brilliant job of bringing out the



Neerja


Ram Madhvani's 'Neerja' was nuanced, compelling and sincere. The director exhibited rare restrain in his handling of this remarkable biographical story of Neerja Bhanot, the flight attendant aboard the ill-fated Pan Am Flight 73, who was shot dead by terrorists.


Udta Punjab


Abhishek Chaubey deserves applause for an intense, dark and disturbing depiction of the state of Punjab. Alia Bhatt belted out a career-best performance as the migrant labourer, a victim of the drug abuse menace in the state.


PINK


In this masterpiece, Amitabh Bachchan's eccentric lawyer brings to fore the issue of a woman's consent in Indian society. A compelling courtroom drama, PINK drove across its points without the painful, verbose sermonizing that Hindi films routinely subject us to. There were indeed some weekloops in the second half court scene's though.

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil


Karan Johar's 'Ae Dil Hai Mushkil' was a take on the complicated journeys that love embarks on in real life. While I enjoyed every bit of the rollercoaster ride and the anguish of unrequited love. Still, ADHM was film that looked good and felt good.


Dear Zindagi


Gauri Shinde’s film was a must-watch for the beauty of subtlety, for its insight into contemporary relationships and to understand that talking to a therapist can be as simple as trying to get some sleep. There's no shame in seeking help for emotional issues, just like we do for physical ailments.


Dangal


This film will rank not only as one of the best of the year, but among the best Hindi films on sports, ever. 'Dangal' is as much a story about the sport – wrestling, as it is about revisiting gender stereotypes and a complex father-daughter relationship. Aamir Khan and his two young actresses - Fatima and Sanya - made an impression on one and all.


My favourate undoubtedly was Dear Zindagi.Not sure on how Kapoor and Sons, Sultan and Fan were, missed it. Dhoni: An untold story was also worth the watch, though missed Azar's biopic.

Can we be Happy Always?

Just loved these lines...

When I got enough confidence, the stage was gone...

When I was sure of losing, I won...

When I needed people the most, they left me...

When I learnt to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on...

When I mastered the skill of hating, someone started loving me from the core of the heart...

And while waiting for light for hours when I fell asleep, the sun came out...

That's life!!

No matter what you plan, you never know what life has planned for you...

Success introduces you to the world..

But failure introduces the world to you...

Always be Happy!!!

Often when we lose hope and think this is the end..

God smiles from above and says,

"Relax Sweetheart, It's just a Bend, not the End!

In the journey of life, we pass pleasure and pain. There will be sunshine and rain; There will be loss and gain. But we must learn to smile and smile again.

Together is the most wonderful place to be

In the journey of life, we pass pleasure and pain. There will be sunshine and rain; There will be loss and gain. But we must learn to smile and smile again. Together is a wonderful place to be in.

Four years since my Achan is no more; but he is the one person I think of daily..even more now. Together we are still. Together we may not be in person which is such a pain and shame.

People do ask, which is the favourate place I would like to be in; it is being Together with my loved ones. There is no better place than that.

This new year, may we be together with our loved ones. Time is limited in supply, but it is upto us on how we use it and where we spend it, and belive me; there is no place worth better spending it; than with our loved ones.

As kids grow up, and with the passing time, people prefer nuclear family; they like to see far away land; move around the world, Nature and the world around is beautiful, and we need to see it, but we would never again be able to spend time with the ones we love...and it is every parents dream to see their children together. Very few children realise it when they still have their parents around.

Not only individual families; this is applicable to countries as well. Moreover, even the TEAM suggest - Together everyone Achieve more.

Indeed Together is the most wonderful place to be in.....