Mindfulness

Isn't it interesting to know that we tend to judge others by their behaviour and ourselves by our intentions.

We tend to miss attention/focus on important things, and try to find time to rectify them.

Interest in mindfulness led to the creation in 2007 of the “Search Inside Yourself” program, which focuses on three development areas:

Attention training. This entails becoming aware of your attention, and when you lose it, learning to bring it back to the task at hand. Attention training leads to attention endurance, or the ability to singularly focus for longer periods of time.

Self-knowledge. This is the ability to view yourself objectively, without ego, and to better understand your strengths and weaknesses.

Creation of mental habits. This training teaches your brain how to behave in different ways, yielding more discipline and greater willpower.

Be mindful of yourself, and things around you.

Matilda by Roald Dahl

It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still thibk that he or she is wonderful.

Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.
Well there is nothing wrong with all this. It's the way of the world.

Matilda Wormwood's father is a mean crooked crook and mother plain stupid. They think Matilda is a nuisance who should watch more TV and read fewer books! But her lovely teacher Miss Honey thinks Matilda is a genius. Indeed she is not only in arithmetic and literature but also very practical of life and down to earth at age 5.

With her ability to move things with sight she manages to put straight headmistress Trunchbull who is alsi Ms. Honey aunt by writing on the blackboard:

"Agata this is Magnus, give my Jenny back her house and wages.."

Finally when her parents decide to move to spain, she decides to stay back with Honey.

Wish I had some magical power and capability like Matilda.

Anthropologist explains why we cheat on people we love

YouTube/TED Talks) - Thought of sharing this, as it happened to answer many of the open questions, from Krishna to modern day perfect partners.

Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher has a pretty perfect description of what it's like to be in love with someone:

Simply put, she says, that person becomes the center of the world. You have an intense craving to be with that person, not just sexually, but emotionally. You can list the things you don't like about them, but all that gets pushed aside and you focus only on what you do like about them.

"It's an obsession," Fisher said in TED Talk called "Why we love, why we cheat."

What's going on biologically, though, is far less romantic, and it explains why we sometimes cheat on those we love.

Romantic love is essentially just elevated activity of the reward hormone dopamine in the brain.

In the TED talk Fisher explains an experiment where she and a team of scientists scanned the brains of people who were in love. The team showed the smitten person a neutral photo and then a photo of their beloved. They recorded which regions of the brain were active while the person gazed at the photo of their partner.

The researchers found that one of the most important brain regions that became active when each person looked at a photo of their partner is the reward system — the same brain area that lights up when a person takes cocaine or has an orgasm.

That means that "romantic love is not an emotion, it's a drive," Fisher said. "And in fact, I think it's more powerful than the sex drive."

Many other studies have found the same thing: love operates as a motivation and reward system in the brain. So, if love is rewarding, what drives us to cheat on people we fall in love with?

The problem is that romantic love isn't the only brain system that is activated when we fall for someone. There are actually three brain systems related to love, Fisher explained.

There's the sex drive, which is like an "intolerable neural itch," to get us out searching for a range of partners to help pass on our genes. There's romantic love, which helps us focus our mating energy on one person. And then there's attachment, the calm and security we feel with a long-term partner so we can raise children with them as a team.

However, those three brain systems, sex drive, romantic love, and attachment, aren't always connected to each other.

So it's possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said.

"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.

And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner.

It's why someone can lay in bed at night thinking about deep feelings of attachment to one person and swing to thoughts of romantic love for another person.

"It's as if there's a committee meeting going on inside your head as you try to decide what to do," Fisher said. "I don't think honestly that we're an animal that was built to be happy — we're an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make."

This all sounds like a cynical take on love, but Fisher says that, despite all these straightforward and unavoidable biological processes, there's still mystery and "magic to it."

M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story

Not a biopic but a Hagiography, with all controversies kept aside, no villain, everyone in school and friends ready to help, but as in every typical Indian family, parent's wanting kid to concentrate on studies. Dhoni did not have a brother in the movie. Quite inspiring with the message too - keep trying, never give up and there could be second chances. (both with career and love life). I was bowled by Herry Tangri who played Yuvraj Singh, felt him to be real Yuvi. Sushant Singh Rajput and all others were excellent and have done complete justice to their roles. A good watch.

Pink

'No' is not just a word, it is a sentance. Obviously feeling thoughtful and disturbed watching the awesome threesome single ladies from Delhi: Minal (Taapsee), Falak (Kirti) and Andrea parallelly with Rajveer (Angad), Dumpy (Raashul), and Vishwa (Tushar) - Advocated by Deepak (Amitabh) and Prashant (Piyush); judged reasonably by Dhritiman supported by all well enacted cops, family, friends. Thankfully we find people of all shades here with great attention to details. A job well done by hindi debutant Bengali director Aniruddha Roy Chowdhiry, written by Ritesh Shah and produced by Rashmi Sharma; Are the ladies bound to follow the rules for ladies mentioned by Deepak? If yes then where is equality?

Ajay Mehra's and Deepak Sehgal's come to rescue only in movies. But in real life crimes worser than that shown in movies happen and we keep wondering who keep funding and protecting Govind Chamis and the conspirators behind the very act? Where is the Kalki to protect the society?

'The Rule Book of the Girls' Safety Manual' - a part of Amitabh Bachchan's speech in the courtoom scenes; cover the below:
1) Don't stay out late

"Hamare Yahan Ghadi ki sui character decide karti hai."
Women who come home late at night are often misconceived as having loose morals. What's more, women are often told that if they stay out so late, they are "bound to face harassment."

2)Don't drink with boys

"Kisi bhi ladki ko ladke ke saath baith kar sharaab nahi peeni chahiye. Kyuki agar who aisa karti hai toh ladke ko yeh indicate hota ki agar ladki mere saath sharaab pee sakti toh who mere saath sone ke liye bhi katrayegi nahi."

No one bats an eyelid at inebriated men in India. When a woman drinks, however, she simply invites trouble because she is branded as being 'available', or so we are told to believe.

3) Don't spend time with boys

"Kisi bhi ladki ko kisi bhi ladke ke saath kahin bhi akele jana nahi chahiye. Kyuki aisa karne se log assume kar lete hain ki wo apni willingly waha par aayi hai aur unhe use touch karne ya use choone ka license issue kar diya hai."

How often have you been told not to go out with boys?

A woman travelling alone raises eyebrows and is quickly followed by remarks ranging from safety warnings to the 'what-will-people-say' remarks.

If you choose to visit a religious spot with a boy, it is fine, but going to a club will make you the subject of condemnation.

Society is quick to judge on the basis of the people you hang out with. Whether they really know anything about you or not doesn't really matter to them.

4) Don't be independent

"Shehar mein ladkiyon ko alag nahin rehna chahiye, akele nahin rehna chahiye. Ladke reh sakte hai par ladkiyaan nahi. Independent ladkiyan ladkon ko confuse kar deti hai"

Independent women who live alone must have a loose character. Women only move out of their houses to get married. Any diversion from this is proof that she has ulterior motives. Or so society believes. The same society that makes fun of men for living with their parents.

5) Don't smile when you talk to boys:

"Kisi bhi ladki ko ladki ko kisi bhi ladke se hans-hans ke baat nahi karni chahiye, kyunki wo usse hint samjh lega."

Emotional Intelligence

Yet another interesting training session from Sudeepta Banerjee.

Exercise:

1)Strike Six Letters to form one Word:
B S A I N X L E A T N T E A R S

2)Write down, Your Name, Role, and one Emotion you display the most

3)Questions to give you a general idea of how much you know about being EI. Choose the option which reflects what you would do in the situation. Give your score as – 1 Strongly disagree, 2 Disagree, 3 Neither Agree Nor Disagree, 4 Agree and 5 Strongly Agree


Why and What is EI

From the thalamus, a part of the stimulus goes directly to the amygdala while another part is sent to the neocortex or "thinking brain". (An Amygdala Hijack is an immediate and overwhelming emotional response out of proportion to the stimulus because it has triggered a more significant emotional threat. The amygdala is the part of our brain that handles emotions. During an Amygdala Hijack, the amygdala "hijacks" or shuts down the neo-cortex.)
EI Helps us to:
Influence
Empathies
Self control (how we respond)
Accurate Self Assessment
Self Confidence
Emotional Self Awareness
EI Effects:
Performance at work
Physical health
Mental health
Relationship

It provides awareness and ability to manage our emotions in a healthy and productive manner.
IQ gets you hired, but EQ gets you promoted or fired.
Rational Vs. Emotional

EI Competency: Can be divided into four - quadrants - Self/Social & Recogniton/Regulation

1) SELF AWARENESS (Self Recogniton)
Recognize and understand moods, emotions and drives

2)SOCIAL AWARENESS (Social Recognition)
Pick up on external crises; works if we have empathy, Organizational awareness and is service oriented

3) SELF MANAGEMENT (Self Regulation)
Control or redirect disruptive emotions or impulses. Think before act. Self control, adaptability

4) RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT (Social Regulation)
Building network. Inspirational leadership, develop others, influence, change catalyst, conflict management, Bld. Bonds, Team work and collaboration


Practice EI Competency
1) SELF AWARENESS (Self Recogniton)
Learn difference between thought and feeling
Ask how you feel and be honest
Be open to input from others

2)SOCIAL AWARENESS (Social Recognition)
Look for non verbal areas and verbal ones
Share and be honest about your feelings
Be consistent – match spoken and unspoken words.
Be Kind – where ever possible
See from other persons perspective

3) SELF MANAGEMENT (Self Regulation)
Monitor your self talk
Reframe an irritating situation into a problem solving exercise
Use Humour
Deep Breath – Never Underestimate
Remove yourself from the situation and keep moving

4) RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT (Social Regulation)
Share your passion and enthusiasm for the job and the organization it is contagious
Create an inspiring work environment
Engage in creative brainstorming
Be willing to coach or mentor others and be open to being coached yourself!

EI – Key Skills

Quickly reduce stress
Recognize and manage your emotions
Connect with others using non verbal communication
Use humor and plan to deal with challenges
Resolve conflicts positively and with confidence

This is done by:
Perceiving
Understanding
Facilitating
Managing

Some Techniques:

The Ventilation Fallacy
a) Deep Breaths
b) Go for a walk
c) Refresh Thoughts

Don’t Brood, Distract
Exercise
a) Complete small tasks
b) Reframe the situation
c) Help others

The Artful Critique

a) Give proper constructive feedback
b) Specific, with solution preferably face to face
c) Show empathy

Set the Emotional Tone


Exercise 1:
Realize when you were stressed
Identify the stress response
Discover and use the stress busting technique that works best for you
Develop emotional awarness
Non – Verbal communication
Exercise 2:
List your team members – family/office
Identify what triggers stress level of them
Identify the stress busters
Exercise 3:
Take away – To do from the training

One Small Step; One Giant Mess - Ice Age

Well it could have been the fifth film of the series, but for us it was the first. Scrat's epic pursuit of the elusive acorn catapults him into the universe where he accidentally sets off a series of cosmic events that transform and threaten the Ice Age World. To save themselves, Sid, Manny, Diego, and the rest of the herd must leave their home and embark on a quest full of comedy and adventure, travelling to exotic new lands and encountering a host of colorful new characters.

Happy to see Neil jumping on his seat, and full of laught.

Don't Dis your Ability

Are you Anxious? - Remove anxiety.

Being lonely and being alone are different; don't be afraid. Ensure you have

1 Peace
2 health -, physical therpy
3 financial security

When you are hurt, pain would stay; We are not computers without any feelings, Things change from one day to another, Be prepared. People cannot treat counterparts like garbage.

It was nice to hear B.K. Shiva from Brahmakumari's - talk -

"Acceptance, approval and appreciation is what everyone need.

Criticism, ridicule, is not what people want.

Counselor is a profession because they are ready to listen They are non judgemental .. Bonding and love is with parents

Don't resend and reject anyone who has made a mistake what is needed is support and healing as they are in pain. When advise don't work in physical pain it would not work during emotional pain.

Say you understand... Say you are right, your feeling is so natural... Give people the willingness to come and share with you everything... As every soul needs acceptance... They go to where they get acceptance.. Say I am ready to hear the truth. Focus on solution... Say whatever has to happen has happened.. Our role is to empower people... Not to judge or correct them.. They are already in pain and hurt...
"

Don't let your self down. Yet another inspiring TED Talk by Muniba Mazari; Muniba Mazari Is an Artist and a Motivational Speaker. Muniba Mazari Baloch participated as a motivational speaker at various conferences and forums. She is also a fellow Piscean, and works as an anchor at PTV, the first wheelchair-bound anchor, and also the first wheelchair-bound model for the prestigious Toni&Guy in Pakistan and the brand ambassador for The Body Shop in Pakistan, and one of the Ponds Miracle Women also working as brand ambassador for "Chughtai Lab". She met with and accident at the age of 21 and was bound to wheel chair.

"A person who fight with self, with a big smile on face is a warriors - When we are in difficulty, many people leave, one who are supposed to stay with us including - Life becomes pointless, aimless, powerless - Instead of crying for the people who are not meant to be with us, for what is lost - stop cribing, stop crying - Add colours to your life - Let art keep you alive - from adversity. People don't have time - Make yourself financially strong, become professional. Life becomes easy - Be happy, Be contant - Keep aiming for higher goals.

Some things shake us from inside, we feel devistated. Change the persception .....Tell people you are happy as you are - we have souls, we are alive - let us live - don't dis our ability. Explore what you have. You are not caged, you have a soul, a mind free - aspire to inspire, nothing should stop you. Have big dreams, plans. Be grateful for what you have , and you will have more. Don't cry and crib, Excel, grow, convert adversity into opportunity. Don't let anyone dis your abilities.

Life is a test, when you were born, you did not know how difficult it would be. Through her work and life story, Ms Mazari aspires to inspire those who lose hope. The only message she gives to the world is that 'You are the hero of your own life story and heroes Never Give Up!'."

Life is a matter of priority - Friendship/Relationship is precious

Life is a matter of priority. What is ones priority, vary from person to person; so also the way they deal with it. For each their own.

Nothing last forever. One needs to find time, to maintain their relationship. Life goes on, and if we get into the bog of it, there is no comming out.

It is a personal choice, we need to move in circle, keep moving ahead, or a mix of both. For some - parents and siblings are important, for others spouse and children, for some friends and foreign lands, or for others career. Some enjoy having reunions, while others consider it to be a waste of time. It is a matter of choice, preferances.

It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith to make relations last. People of same wavelength, of similar taste come closer, get together well, have many things to share. Even if the job, people around, try to break them, if their bonding is stong, nothing will break it. It is not a matter of being thick skinned - no matter how the society take it, or people talk about it.

When nobody can take away your pain, never let anybody take away your Happiness! Be Cool and Happy.

Remember - If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. No plan is bigger or above his divine plan.

Religious Conversion? Unrest

Nothing new, but very painful indeed. We are all born human, why can’t we leave and live as one?

As many as 16 young Muslims went missing from Kerala over the past one month and some of them may have sent messages to their parents that they have joined the Islamic State, sources said on Saturday.Most of them were from the districts of Kasaragod and Palakkad and sources said the group included seven couples and two children.Security agencies suspect they may joined the terrorist outfit Islamic State (IS) in Iraq and Syria.

It seems they have send a message to their family members saying "We are not coming back. Here there is Divine Rule. You also should join us" read one of the messages while the other message said, "We have joined IS to fight US for attacking Muslims", Mustafa said. The veracity of these messages are yet to be checked.

Thinking is the highest mental activity present in man. suddenly aristocratic, upper-caste Hindu Kamala Das, lover of Sree Krishna(Hindu God), descendant of rajas, decides to embrace Islam.. On 16 December 1999,at the age of 65, amidst a storm of controversy, in a one minute home ceremony, she converts……She said - Life has changed for me since Nov. 14 when a young man named Sadiq Ali walked in to meet me. He is 38 and has a beautiful smile.
In her novels and autobiography she wrote much about eroticism and the need of sex for woman… She married at age of 15 to a 35 year old man, and literally got raped in the first night.. We have to believe that she wasn't satisfied by her husband and she was yearning for true love…. That's why after her husband's death, when sadiq came into her life she easily gave up …But sadiq was determined to convert kamla to Islam by playing the love saga.. It has to be believed that he has got mental and physical support in playing the role . He never loved her truly, but he just wants to convert her to Islam… It was clearly a sign of LOVE JIHAD…. Yes, Kamala das was one of the earliest victim of love Jihad, which is still happening in kerala. According to Government records about 9000 Hindu girls got converted to islam by falling prey to the false love of muslim boys. Most of them undergone through the same fate of Kamla Das.
Later, Madhavikutty(Kamla) felt it was not worth it to change one's religion and said "I fell in love with a Muslim after my husband's death. He was kind and generous in the beginning. But I now feel one shouldn't change one's religion. It is not worth it.".

But It was Too Late for her ,for another conversion back to Hinduism . She lived and died rest of her life as a Muslim painfully….

People go to any extend, to convert you. The most divne form – in the name of love to fear.
There are so many people walking around, trying to preach and prove Christianity is only right.

And even within them, there are so many differences of opinions. When will we stop fighting, and realise that we are all one?

Malarvaadi Arts Club

A lovely tribute to friendship is Malarvaadi Arts Club the 2010 Malayalam film directed by Vineeth Sreenivasan in his directorial debut, and produced by Dileep.

The story is about the life of 5 friends Prakashan,Santhosh,Purushu,Praveen and Kuttuin from a small village called Manissery. Prakashan (Nivin Pauly) has a fiery temperament; he would do anything for the people he loves, for the cause he believes in. In a moment of financial crisis, Kumaran (Nedumudi Venu) (their mentor who formed malarvadi club) makes the group take up music once again. On the way, the best singer Santhosh (Shraavan) in the group gets a chance to attend a reality show and once he emerges the champion,which is followed by misunderstandings, separation and a grand reunion in the end.

It is a simple story that unveils at a leisurely pace and often, in a disturbingly and predictable way; Nedumudi Venu has a brief but relevant role. Kumaran's desire to see 5 of them together, make me think of my grandfather - how every parents would want to see their children together always; and even someothers who are not just parents but more than parents.

Indeed a thought provoking movie.

The Year I Met You - Cecelia Ahern

Jasmine loves two things: her sister Heather and her work. And when her work is taken away she has no idea who she is.

Matt loves two things: his family and the booze. Without them he hits rock bottom.

One New Year's Eve, their path collide. Both have time on their hands: both are at crossroads. But as the year unfolds, through moonlit nights and suburban days, an unlikely friendship slowly starts to blossom.

Memories do not last for ever, fresh memories erase off the old ones. Thinking out of control Jasmine turned into gardening to maintain control, thinking it would bend to her will, but realised that it will not. If we try to grow where something, even a part of us has died, we will experience sickness. It is better to move, uproot overselves and start afresh; then we will flourish. Miracles only grow where you plant them.

We do not know the other person, we do not know anything about their life, but if the person is not lonely in your company.

Which is the better song? " Paradise City" or " Love is a Battlefield".

Often the slow pace of change can be painful, lonely and confusing, but without us realising it happening, it happens. But it is thanks to the slowness that we remember the journey, we reserve the sense of where we were, where we are going and why. Destination completely unknown, we can value the crossing.

This wasn't just my journey, this wasn't just about me falling down and a man rescuing me, though I did trip and you fell and love did happen for me and was mended and repaired for you. This is about you and me, our fall and rise with the seasons, and about what happened when one door closed for both of us. I don't know if I would be this woman now if it weren't for you, and you may not even think you did anything. Most people in life don't have to actively do anything to change us, they simply need to be. I reacted to you. You affected me. You helped me. You were the oddest friendship, the kindest loaned ear.

You gave me your key. You did the same. I helped you help me, you helped me to help you, that's the way it must be or the very idea of help would be obsolete. I always thought that being helped was a loss of control, but you must allow someone to help you, you must want someone to help you, and only then can the act begin.

We are constantly evolving; I suppose I have always known that, but because I always knew that, I feared stopping, and it is ironic that it was only when I finally stopped that I moved the most. I know now that we never truly stop, our journey is never complete, because we will continue to floursih - just as when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfuly.

Sairat

Was glad to get hold of a Marathi movie after long. But the end, made me keep thinking. Why do we make a weekend not very good by watching such movies? If at all we knew - but then this is the harsh reality of life.

Sairat is a romantic story of two young couple - the usuall - rich girl, poor brilliant boy; but here from different cast. The first half is full of songs and beautiful cinematography. What happens when the immatured children run after their love is well depicted. But the end was a shock; and it took me some time to come out of it; seeing the baby walk - without any background music.

Udta Punjab

A thought provoking weekend, with a thought provoking movie. Not just Punjab, but this is the harsh reality of our country and the world today.Some are flying high, while others are infants, but none of them are free states. Hats off to Abhishek Chaubey and Sudip Sharma for daring to bring this forward. It's a kinda documentary/drama film so don't expect 'Jab we Met' if you wanna view.

Great performance by Shahid, Dilji, Kareena but above all Alia. We have stories of each of them running in parallel; while Shahid-Pop singer Tommy , Alia - Ex. District hockey player and field worker, and Dilji's younger brother a student are waging a fight against use of drug; Kareena a doctor and Dilji an Assistent Inspector are fighting against the society and it's supply; and of the two fights; Kareena say - the former is important to be won.

Wish there is an end to the use of this.

Elections

May 16th was election day; where we to vote or was it just another holiday?

Was not sure whom to vote for; the same false promises - was something really being done, or were we just moving like a pedulum, from left to right? Well this time we did have some one else as well in kerala; for for the first time did the lotus bloom here.

People come and go, parties come and go, problems remain. Any sensible Indian would agree that beef, jeans and skirts, Love marriages, westernisation, celebrating birthdays are not our problem.

We still have the age old problems persesting; that of inequality, poverty, casteism, unemployment, communalism, superstition, health system, coruption, infrastructure, sex ration, population explosion, crime accountability, literacy and education, black money, angry organisation etc.

Right is might, but no one ever wins if they do not fight. If you belive you are right, then stand up and fight for your place in the sun. If you belive you can do, hang in, if you do not win, you will earn the respect of everyone in the fight, including yourself, and in that sense you will have prevailed.

Being blessed with democracy it is our duty to vote, I have done mine. But there are still some more duty, which I neither have the energy not the ability to take up, wish and pray that I could do something.

The Year we got closer

She was confused and surprised, yet glad that he asked her out for a movie a year before; with mother. This was for the first time, someone had actually done that; and so it was completely a new experience for her. Sometimes we need someone to simply be there, not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported; this is what she felt.

People come to one’s life for a reason, a season or for a lifetime; he had just completed one season of his life, and was on the bridge to the other; presumably he was just looking out for someone to fill the interim void or was that an invitation for genuine friendship only time would say.

They did not have anything much in common. A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation; doesn’t always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part; this is what she believed; initially when he got busy on reaching the other end of the bridge; not realising that the season was over. Though there was a gap in the new year; things appeared to be in place after three months.

By the end of a year, they realised, they have nothing to speak about. Life is not just about movies, and restaurants; and he was not interested in discussing his personal life and dreams; while she kept wondering, why men who respect women are mostly single? People who have been single are so independed and self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life. He would start telling about his professional problems, and stop in between, presuming it is not right to discuss them; leaving her in a dilemma. It is a psychological fact that people are generally more honest when physically tired; this is why people confess things during late night conversations. Next day; they would think why at all was it discussed?

At the end of a year, he was confused; and she was still confused and surprised. Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please other, but they did not have to go through that here, as they were themselves; and had not put on masks to please other.

She still had lot of respect for him, for his passion, for his will, for the fight he took up for himself and others. His company made her happy, but she knew it would most probably be at its dawn. She did not know what had to be done, and because he wanted to work without distractions. So was she becoming a distraction now? She kept thinking about her friends warnings to be away from him.

Then she read Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's explanation of life and death; especially on death that she realised after her husband Dave passed away. Most of us at one point or the other have to face loss of opportunity or adversity - in job, with health, with love and sometimes with life itself. We need to remember 3P's.

1. Pesonalization - Not everything that happens to us happens because of us.
2. Pervasiveness - The event will effect all areas of our life, there is nor running away,
3. Permanence - That nothing lasts for ever.

There are only two types of pain: The one that hurts you and the other that changes you.

If you care too much, forgive too much, in the end you get hurt too much. When you care for someone more than they deserve, you get hurt more than you deserve. Everyone is going to hurt you, you need to find the worth suffering for. It’s better to be alone; nobody can hurt you.

To the questions in your life, you are the only answer; to the problems in your life you are the only solution. If you are able to find them; and mould them to make you a better person; keep you positive, the pain would be worth going through. It would change you, make you stronger.

Finding gratitude and appreciation is the key to resilience. Live life, each day of it, with joy and meaning, without pain and with gratitude at each step.

Don’t depend too much on anyone. Everyone changes with time, with new people. Never assume that somebody loves you by their sweetness. Sometimes you are just an option. Some people are truly great manipulators. They can lie, cheat, treat you badly and somehow manage to make it all seem like your fault. Don’t fall for it.

Choices, Chances and Changes are basic reminders of life…We need to make a Choice, to take a Chance, otherwise our life will never Change…!!!

It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in your relationship to make it last. Probably this did not have them all.

We need to Learn how to:
• Have fun without drinks
• Talk without cellphone
• Dream without drugs
• Smile without selfies
• Love without conditions

Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you. Remember, there is no market for our emotions, Keep up the positive attitude.

Stakeholder Management

Thanks to Sudeeptha from Transandix for a wonderful training session - both the trainer and training were captivating:


Any person, group or organisation who is affected by our work, would be our stakeholder.

For the project for which we are the Project Manager; our stakeholder could be:
 Project/programme team
 Shareholder or investor
 Public Interest group
 Government
 Community
 Upper Management
 Mid Management
 PM’s Manager
 End user
 Non Team Member
 Client owners
 Suppliers
 Internal & External Consultant.

Top 5 Qualities of Tom Kosnik and his stakeholders; where plotted on a graph, and an assessment was plotted of once own performance and that of the stakeholder. These can be jotted as a web, and linked to match the preferences.

 Integrity at the centre
 Chemistry/Sense of Humour
 Perspective/Humility
 Empathy
 Cooperation/Commitment
 Responsiveness
 Reliable
 Fairness
 Competence
 Communication
 Vision
 Grace Under Pressure
 Entrepreneurship


Stakeholder Management Involves two parts:

Paret 1: Stakeholder Analysis

Stakeholder Analysis means mapping and analysing your stakeholders. This involves Identifying, Prioritising and Understanding the Stakeholder:

Basic Analysis can be done using the Power interest Grid, and placing the stakeholders in 4 quadrants, and plotting them, to know if they have high or low power and interest.

Power HPLI: Keep Satisfied HPHI: Manage Closely
LPLI: Monitor LPHI: Keep Informed
Interest


Stakeholders would fall under one of the below category:
a. Advocates
b. Supporters
c. Blockers
d. Critics
e. Neutral
We need to remove the blockers – especially those who are in high power/high interest grid.
General points – based on role play:
 Don’t assume you know customers’ needs
 Asking people’s opinion is the first step in building relationship
 To gain trust of one stakeholder, never let other stakeholders down (ego)
 Stakeholders are not interested in why it did not happen, they would want to know how it would happen
 Patience
 1st Build trust
 Don’t say we failed, say we messed up
 Don’t get overly submissive – apologise and move on.
 All questions are equally important, answer first questions first.
 Clients/stakeholder likes to be heard, so hear.
 Don’t micro manage.
 Did a great job – seek help.
 Ask right questions
 What is important is how you enquire and what you enquire
 Push back, don’t push yourself
 If the conversation is going nowhere – start another line of discussion


Part 2: Stakeholder Planning – involves communication strategies:

1. Plan your Approach :

This has to be done, before during and after the project –
 Seek opinions/ideas
 Discuss the positives
 Discuss the challenges

2. Think Through your stakeholders
 Desired support
 Desired Project Role
 Actions Desired

3. Identify the message you need to convey
To persuade them to support you and engage with your projects or goals show:
a. Show the benefits to the person or organisation of what you are doing
b. Focus on key performance like increasing profitability or delivering real improvement.

4. Identify Actions and communciations
Work out and focus on
 HP/HI stakeholders first
 LP/LI Last

Always remember to include communciation in your project plan.
Implementation
T - Trust
I - Inquiry
P - Patience/Push Back
S - Satisfy

Three pillars of a project are: Trust, Patience and Expectation.


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Stakeholders are those who have a 'Stake' (investment or interest) in the success or actions taken by an organization. They include shareholders, management, and their families, industry in which the organisation operates, customers, competitors, suppliers, business partners, future generation etc. Corporations maximise shareholders value through profit maximisation.

Social obligation must complement and not compete for profit maximization. Business apply social responsibility approach by adopting socially responsible practices that wil be a positive force for change and help improve the quality of people's lives. Organizations naturally encounter a number of challenges in attempts to be socially responsible. For example, insider trading, layoffs, diversity issues, advertising, employee privacy issues, environmental issues, competition and international operations.

Even for Strategic Planning Organisations perform stakeholder analysis which provides a framework for weighing all the various claims and stakeholder concerns so as to reach a socially responsible decision. It also helps an organization learn:
- How people feel about the organization and the industry it is in
- What issues the organization should rethink/reevaluate its position on
- What the organisation should do differently to improve its position.

Managing Conflicts

Thanks to Sudeeptha from Transandix for a wonderful training session - both the trainer and training were captivating:

Managing varied personalities to align their individual goals with that of the companies is crucial for the success of any business.
None of us is as good as all of us; Team itself means:
T- Together
E- Everyone
A-Achieve
M- More

Every team would have some dysfunctions, we need to confront and change them.
Inspire the team to thrive; use interpersonal skill to build effective teams. Be emotionally intelligent to be successful. Qualities for effective team are:

• Good interpersonal communication
• Clear Goals
• Relevant skills
• Mutual Trust
• Unified Commitment
• Internal & External support

Engaged Team is and Effective team; and every team would have the below team members – Engagement Matrix:
Information By Standars: Through 1X1’s need to understand key driving factor, and bring them to next level Champions: They are multitasking specialists, we need to start delegating daily and on-going jobs
Weaklinks: Need to provide on-going feedback pertaining to performance. May mostly need assisting, planning and organising their time and work. Loose Cannons: Need to sustain the commitment level, while working on the empowering knowledge
Commitment


The different roles people play are:
1) Action oriented role :- Give momentum to work.
2) People oriented role:- Bring in team spirit
3) Cerebral Roles:- Gives strategy and direction.

As per Belbin Associates – Team Role summary sheet; various Team-Role Descriptions are:
Team Role Contribution Allowable Weakness
Plant Creative, Imaginative, Unorthodox, solves difficult problems Ignores incidentals. Too Preoccupied to communicate effectively
Resource Investigator Extrovert, Enthusiastic, communicative. Explores opportunities. Develops contacts Over-optimistic. Loses interest once initial enthusiasm has passed.
Co-Ordinators Mature, Confident, good chairperson, clarifies goals, promotes decision-making, delegates well. Can be seen as manipulative. Offloads personal work.
Shaper Challenging, dynamic, thrives on pressure. The drive and courage to overcome obstacles. Prone to provocation. Offends people’s feelings.
Monitor Evaluator Sober, strategic and discerning. Sees all options. Judges accurately Lacks drive and ability to inspire others.
Teamworker Co-operative, mild, perceptive and diplomatic. Listens, builds, averts friction. Indecisive in crunch situations.
Implementer Disciplined, reliable, conservative and efficient. Turns ideas into practical actions Somewhat inflexible. Slow to respond to new possibilities.
Completer Finisher Painstaking, conscientious, anxious, Searches out errors and omissions. Delivers on time. Inclined to worry unduly. Reluctant to delegate.
Specialists Single-minded, self-starting, dedicated. Provides knowledge and skills in rare supply. Contributes on only a narrow front. Dwells on technicalities.


We need all of them, for different phases in a job viz:
Phase Role 1 Role 2
1) Need Identification Shaper Co-ordinator
2) Idea Generation Plant Resource Investigation specialist
3) Plans Monitor Evaluation
4) Contacts Resource Investigator Team worker
5) Organisation Implementer Co-ordinator
4) Follow Through Complete Finisher Implementor

Also the opposite roles are played by the below who can be very well buddied:
1. Shaper & Team worker
2. Resource investigator & Complete Finisher
3. Plant & Implementer
4. Co-ordinator & Specialist
5. Monitor Evaluator

The 5 Dysfunctions and the related role of a leader are:
Dysfunction Role of a Leader
Absence of Trust Be vulnerable (tell stories of failure without jeopardising own or organisations reputation)
Fear of Conflict Demand Debate. Demonstrate restraint when team members engage in conflict.
Lack of Commitment Force Clarity and Closure. Constantly push the group for closure around issues and adherence to schedule, the team has set.
Avoidance of Accountability Confront difficult issues. Be willing to serve as the ultimate arbitral of discipline when the team itself fail.
Inattention to Results Focus on collective outcome. Set the tone for a focus on result. Be selfless and reserve the R&R for those who make real contribution to achievement of group goals.

We need to learn from Geese – The lessons they teach are – Mutual respect, Courage & Encouragement:
• They stick together in a ‘V shaped’ formation
• 70% of the hit is taken by the first person.
• Different bird’s take leadership.
• Last one only glides.
• They all make noise during their flight.
• Empower – quality honking

We need to treat people as per their personality type. Give black smith treatment for Iron (touch) – and Diamond treatment for Coal (soft).

Migration

The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practise compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish, but are perpetually stored in infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.

We all look for comfort, stability, peace and happiness. But not all of us are blessed to have this. 93% of the people want to migrate from Syria, while 83% of people have been migrating into Lebanon, being host to refugees and asylum seekers mostly from Syria, and also from Palestine and Iraq.

The ongoing Syrian Civil War was inspired by the Arab Spring revolutions. It began in 2011 as a chain of peaceful protests, followed by a crackdown by the Syrian Army.In July 2011, army defectors declared the formation of the Free Syrian Army and began forming fighting units. The opposition is dominated by Sunni Muslims, whereas the leading government figures are Alawites. According to various sources, including the United Nations, up to 100,000 people had been killed by June 2013. To escape the violence, over 2.1 million Syrian refugees have fled to neighboring countries of Jordan, Iraq, Lebanon, and Turkey. An estimated 450,000 Syrian Christians have fled their homes. As the civil war has dragged on, there have been worries that the country could become fragmented and cease to function as a state.

A colleague of mine from Germany, what she does is:
"In my spare time I support refugees mainly from Syria, Afghanistan, Eritrea and Mali who come to Germany with nothing apart their clothes.
Beside organizing what is needed on a daily life basis I organize translaters for them, psychologist, doctor appointment.

My organization has set up a pool of volunteers who help them out by organizing and accompany them to doctor’s appointments as almost all of them are traumatized, especially the woman who got raped in many cases. But also the children who have often lost their mothera or their fathers on their journey.

Beside the organizational part I am in touch with the local press and the mayor to coordinate the public relations part – mainly to convince local citizens more people will help us on a voluntary basis but I also try to convince companies to donate fabric, curtains whatever is needed. Most of them are happy to help but it has to be coordinated as well.

I also organize the monthly meeting with 30 volunteers and are in touch with several institution to set up German classes for the once who have arrived without speaking any German, try to convince teachers to “restart” on a volunteer basis to teach some German. A lot of refugees have to wait up to a year until they get their final residence and are not allowed to work or even to move out of the district without an extra permission which is hard to get."

It is still not enough and it depresses me but you can finally not save the whole world. Over the years I was able to engage more and more people . The main issue those refugees have is that they are isolated. It is not about the money. They simple want to belong to our society and this starts with the language.

The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through us and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment. The present moment is all there is and all that there will ever be.

When people migrate, they suffer more - of loss of property, hardship, harrasment and what not. When we are unable to hear of face them in a stable life, the plight of the migrants are unbearable.

POSH

Hell is the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present in this very moment. Every time we fall in Love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fires of hell. Is there a worse hell than the torment a man suffers when he knows deep down in his conscience that he has done something awfully wrong? Ask that man. He will tell you what hell is. Is there a better paradise than the bliss that descends upon a man at those rare moments in life, when the bolts of the universe fly open and he feels in possession of all the secrets of eternity and united with God? Ask that man. He will tell you what heaven is. - Says Elif Shafak, in her book the 40 Rules of Love.

Indeed we can see this around us now. On this mother earth, where mothers are Torn, tormented, terrified. Tired of reading news on how women are tortured. Will there be no end to this? Nirbhaya, Sowmya, Jisha - some of the known ones, and so many unknown ones. What the heck is happening now? Is there hands of corrupt politicians behind this, at this point in time when elections are round the corner? In Kerala, after Perumbavoor and Varkala it is Mannarkadu!! 8 year old girl by her father..!!! This is just getting worst day by day..We need some action...Why still nobody is bothered? Why don't we see Arnab's of the country talking about this?

At one end people leave in posh, when we really need POSH - Prevention of sexual harrasment. As said by Siddique in Amar Akbar Antony, very few of us know the pain and react, unless something really happen to us. It is high time, we put an end to this. Undoubtedly it is a taboo on the society and mankind.

If we try to look at why? wondering if it be because need to touch and be touched is one of the basic necessity which many cannot resist. In our society if a girl and a boy talk to each other or continuous to do so for two or three days, people start talking about them, and taking that relationship in the wrong sense. Am not claiming that all that is done in the west is correct, we do have our tradition's and values, and these are highly respected. But earlier tradition allowed some kind of relationship in Indian culture, which are prohibited now. So to fulfill the basic needs, which some are unable to resist, the cruel animal instinct creep into some human beings, and they act violently. They should be treated violently as well.

Sexual violence can come in many forms.

The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim.

Sexual assault victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 sexual assaults, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of sexual assault: women, men or children, straight or gay.

So, how can you figure if what happened was rape? There are a few questions to consider.

There are three main considerations in judging whether or not a sexual act is consensual (which means that both people are old enough to consent, have the capacity to consent, and agreed to the sexual contact) or is a crime.

1) Are the participants old enough to consent? Each state sets an “age of consent,” which is the minimum age someone must be to have sex. People below this age are considered children and cannot legally agree to have sex. In other words, even if the child or teenager says yes, the law says no.

2) Do both people have the capacity to consent? States also define who has the mental and legal capacity to consent. Those with diminished capacity — for example, some people with disabilities, some elderly people and people who have been drugged or are unconscious — may not have the legal ability to agree to have sex.

3) Did both participants agree to take part? Did someone use physical force to make you have sexual contact with him/her? Has someone threatened you to make you have intercourse with them? If so, it is rape.

It is brutal, and strict action needs to be taken against those involved. The victim and their family get's into mental depression, and are at times sidelined by the society with a stigma attached, when it is they who need the support. Let us join hands to support them, and ensure that the people who carry out these atrocities are severely punished; to such an extend that those who hear about it, fear of ever thinking of doing such act.

Money Matters...

Money Matters, and it is important to know about Money when we travell.

1. Rupee – The new sign is an amalgam of the Devanagari letter (Ra) and the Latin capital letter “R”. The parallel lines at the top (with white space between them) make an allusion to the tricolored Indian flag.
2. U.S. Dollar – Back in 1794, ‘ps’ : the abbreviated unit for the Spanish Peso was frequently traded. A shorthand version, with the p and the s overlapping, has come to be known as the dollar symbol of today.
3. Japanese Yen – The word ‘yen’, (actually pronounced as ‘en’) means ‘round object’ in Japanese. It describes the shape of coins globally. Foreigners often pronounced ‘en’ with a ‘y’ preceding it. Which is probably how it has come to symbolized as a ‘Y’.
4. Euro – The symbol is inspired by the Greek symbol ‘Epsilon’, popularly, the “E” in English and represents the first letter of the word “Europe”. The parallel lines across the epsilon are to certify the stability of the currency.
5. Riyal – This is the term given to currencies of various Arabian countries. The Saudi riyal is denoted by the sign SR in English and was first introduced in 1963. It is divided into 100 parts, each of which is refrred to as “hallalah”
6. Chinese Renminbi – Abbreviated, as RMB, the Renminbi is the official currency of the People’s Republic of China. The Renminbi is commonly referred to as the ‘people’s currency’ and is the legal tender in mainland China, excluding Hong Kong and Macau. Its units are the Yuan, Jiao and Fen.
7. British Pound – The pound sterling (formally), is the official unit of currency used in the United Kingdom. It is denote rarely as L and find their origin from ‘Libra’, the Latin word for ‘pound’. It is less formally referred to as ‘quid’.
8. Dirham – The Dirham, a unit of currency in UAE, was introduced in 1971. The name derives from the Greek currency ‘drachma’. It is most commonly represented as AED and sometimes, as Dh or Dhs.
9. South African Rand – Symbolized by the letter ‘R’, the rand was introduced on 14th February 1961, the same year in which the Republic of South Africa was established. The name ‘rand’ was taken after Witwatersrand, the ridge upon which Johannesburg is built and where most of South Africa’s gold deposits were found.
10. Turkish Lira – The lira was introduced in 1844, replacing the ‘kurus’ as the principal unit of currency. In late December 2003, the Lira was redenominated by the removal of six zeros to create the new currency of Turkey. This new currency came to be known as the ‘new Lira’.
11. Swedish Krona – The Swedish Krona came into existence in the year 1873. Krona, literally ‘Crown’ in Swedish, is often depicted with “Kr” and is called “Kronor” in plural form.
12. Pesos – Peso (literally meaning weight in Spanish) was the name of a coin that originated in Spain and became immensely important internationally. Peso is now the monetary unit of several former Spanish colonies including Argentina, Philippines, Mexico, Cuba and Colombia.

Partner for life

You never realise, when you start missing someone- When life itself is temporary, how can we have someone permanent in life.

People come to our life for a reason, season or life time (of one of us). But when you expect someone to be with you untill 'death do you apart', and the relationship do not last, it is terrible. Especially when you have children. Irrespective of whether you are in the east or the west.

You cry day and night until you realise that you have no choice anymore than to act rather than react.

You become a single mother with children who don’t understand their parent(s). You are still under shock about the physical violence if any and very very angry inside. You might want time to cool down to speak without crying . You might want time to reconsider and to speak without any anger in summer or fall. But if the spouse do not taken that chance, rather the opposite; you are shattered.

You feel like junk thrown in a bin, a marriage , everything becomes replaceable. It is important to have an individual life style and do anything one wants … almost everything has become replaceable. But this is not possible with a marriage and family life, is what one feels; but with time even this has changed. There are more failed marriages than successful ones.

You have with you tears all the time, you drive tears are comming up, you are under the shower, you have tears, you wrap the kids around, and there is tears.

Then spouse find someone from the internet dating portal. Tell THE CHILDREN that he needs time to try it and the relationship out. The message the children get is : "and if it is not the right one, mum is second choice." What does this mean to them and what does this mean to the lady?

You are not even angry at him. You are deeply hurt and to be honest devastated , sad and have to take care of two teenagers’ feelings because their father has taken that decision. Leaving your spouse after marriage physically and emotionally damages each person's life and the children’s future. What does this mean for their future relationships? That you can drop a family and try a new partner out easy like that? That in bad times you go on the internet, looking for a substitute . It is leaving a bit question mark in their souls for all their lives … that is making it hard. Future generation has to cope with this as well.

And I doubt that the kids can ever forget what the parents do. It will follow them their whole life and parents leaves this burden with them. That is the worst.

Two Countries & Charlie

The first of the movies this year was Two countries - we were two countries, who had been to watch Two countries; our first movie in Gold Souk - and to grab a ticket for this we went into Oberon, Lulu and finally thought of give a try here.

Ullas (Dileep) is a Jack of all trades with oodles of energy and a quirky character. He tries every conceivable trick to liven up his life which lacks the fizz that he yearns for. He has his accomplices in his pursuits for quick fix solutions to his problems. There comes a Proposal for his Namesake from Mamta who is in Canada - and trying to break it - he describes all his vitures to be negative.

Finally they end up marring - and the best part is how he has saved his memory of her. His marriage to Laya (Mamtha) which was supposed to turn his life on its head , turns out to be topsyturvy.

Aju Varghese, Mukesh and Suraj Venjarumoodu are well and truly in their elements and their dynamism and inventive humor perks up the momentum of Two Countries two fold. Rafi, Lena, Srinda, Vinaya Prasad, Jagadeesh, Ashokan, Vijayaraghavan,Makarand Deshpande etc. are there and ensure that they don't just make up the numbers. Mamta Mohanad deserves Kudos.

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Neil's favourate and often watch is Charlie.

After she flees from home mainly to avoid an alliance that she doesn’t like, Tessa (Parvathy) checks into one mess of a room in an old building. As she begins to clean the room, she discovers some interesting aspects about a bohemian youth, who lived there before she came. Martin Prakkat’s Charlie is about her search to find that amazing guy.

From a storybook that he had sketched about a fascinating adventure with a small time robber, she learns that the man in question had a quirky idea of fun but was at the same time, an extremely genuine human being. As we learn new stories about his kindness along with Tessa, we too feel attracted to this elusive young man, wearing colourfully printed shirts and sporting an unkempt beard. Each of the stories are touching - small-time thief (Soubin Shahir), Doctor Kani (Aparna Gopinath), Mariya (Kalpana), Kunjappan (Nedumudi Venu).

Charlie sweeps you off the feat with its inherent charm. It may be far from perfect, but is an entertaining film for sure, and I see Tessa in me - who has traces of her grandmother K.P.A.C.Lalitha as Rahel Ammachi.


Read more at: http://www.sify.com/movies/charlie-review-malayalam-pmywMDbhfdaag.html

The Jungle Book

Absolutely stunning and spectacular is how Walt Disney Pictures developed live-action/CGI adaptation with Justin Marks penning the screenplay and Jon Favreau directing the film, released on 15 April 2016; version of much edited or adapted by way of book, TV serials, movies - animated and otherwise on Mowgli and 'The Jungle Book' by Rudyard Kipling can be described. The film's cast includes Neel Sethi as Mowgli, Bill Murray as Baloo, Idris Elba as Shere Khan, Ben Kingsley as Bagheera, Christopher Walken as King Louie, Giancarlo Esposito as Akela, Scarlett Johansson as Kaa and Lupita Nyong'o as Raksha. There are a handful of moments that make you jump out of your seats.

"I have always been a big fan of Mowgli and his friends from the jungle." - even I had written here in 2009.

http://arunoday.blogspot.in/search?q=Mowgli

It is not right to dismiss Rudyard Kipling's masterpiece as literature for children considering the philosophical insights that it offers.

1. The Law of the Jungle - lay down rules for the safety of individuals, families, and communities;
2. The need is bare necessity.
3. It is not good to be alone.
4. How man prosper controlling the red tourch.
5. Need to respect and bow down on seeing others.
6. Mother's Love and the need to set free, what you love.
7. The Manager - Baloo

Set your love free, you will have it, if it is your's.

Disney indeed felt bullish about Jon Favreau’s live-action remake of The Jungle Book, is well evident from its conclusion, and there are chances for its sequel soon.

Where the original 1967 animated feature ended with Mowgli being seduced into returning to the “man village” by a pair of feminine eyes, Favreau’s film sends the boy hero (played by newcomer Neel Sethi) back to his wolf pack in the wake of vanquishing the menacing tiger Shere Khan (Idris Elba), while his animal pals Bagheera (Ben Kingsley) and Baloo (Bill Murray) look on proudly. For now, at least, Mowgli intends to enjoy the bare necessities of jungle life, rather than try to adapt to living around other humans.

There is the less-remembered elements of the original Mowgli stories penned by Rudyard Kipling.

Picking up from the moment when Bagheera and Baloo lead an unwilling Mowgli to the gates of the man village, this version of events has him laying eyes not on a girl but on a gruff older man holding a musket. This is Buldeo, a character Kipling introduced in the Jungle Book’s fourth story, “Tiger! Tiger!” Innately distrustful of anything wild, Buldeo fires a warning shot when he catches sight of Bagheera. The panther pushes Mowgli forward, telling him, “Get going, man cub!” As Mowgli rushes towards Buldeo, the older man takes aim again, until his gun is knocked away by another villager. Buldeo claims that the child is “bewitched,” but he’s overruled by a woman who takes a closer look at Mowgli and says disbelievingly, “Nathoo … can it be you?”

There are many other differences as well - basically being new tricks and thoughtfulness of Mowgli and his boomerang being absent, Kaa the python being a foe and not a friend, and there are some of his other friends missing as well.

Amar, Akbar, Antony/Anarkali & Pavada

Got to watch 3 malayalam movies during the past three days; - first I could not digest...

The multi-starrer , Malayalam movie; "Amar Akbar Anthony", the debut directorial venture of Nadirshah, ran successfully in India and abroad. The film has Prithviraj, Sukumaran and Jayasurya in the lead roles. Songs and the child artist; Baby Meenakshi as Fathima are excellent - but the main story and message is haunting.

His directorial debut Amar Akbar Anthony, starring Prithviraj, Jayasurya and Indrajith, exactly follows the pattern of the mimicry films of yore.

His leading men are not jobless but doing jobs that are considered lowly.

Amar (Prithviraj) drives battery-operated toy cars and gives joyrides to kids in an upmarket mall. He gives his girlfriend an impression that he is a pilot.

Akbar (Jayasurya) is a lift operator in a posh hospital.

Anthony (Indrajith) is a pizza delivery man.

They live in a slum with their families.

The pivot of the story is that these three youngsters are saving their hard earned money to make a trip to Pattaya and how the difficulties of daily living create hindrances in making their dream trip.

They are also vying for the attention of their neighbour, Jenny, a dancer.

The narrative is punctuated by humour, mainly at the expense of the leading trio, who are presented as dim-witted and slapped by the fairer sex every now and then.

Today, the villains are not the traditional loan sharks or the bank managers; they are the migrant labourers with criminal pasts and paedophiles.

This being a multi-star entertainer, the director successfully maintains a fine balance among the three leading men. Yet, it is Prithviraj who shoulders the weight of the film on his beefed-up biceps.

Jayasurya looks more of a hunchback than a polio-afflicted person, who uses his brace to get even with one of the villains while standing erect as a pole.

Indrajith's Anthony is the butt of the jokes and he does not mind cracking jokes on himself too. It really makes him most likable character of the three.

Namitha Pramod is under-utilised as the leading lady.

Amidst this fun and life, there is another story - which is poking; Their perceptions and beliefs get shattered with an unexpected event and the resulting story forms the plot of the movie.

Police verifies that girls under the age ten are missing from surrounding area and several of their abused dead-body is found in various places. Police suspect a habitual pedophile Bengali who was convicted for similar charges in Bengal and might have relocated with the migrant working community to Cochin, after his release. Identity of this man is confirmed by the trio and they find him. However, before invoking their final vengeance they are intervened by the Police and to their shock are informed that it wasn't the Bengali who killed their Fathima but the colony's beloved Sir (V. K. Sreeraman), he was outed by a victim of his pedophilic abuse. Both the Bengali and the Sir are brutally murdered as a social justice and cleansing of the community by the people of the colony. The police knowing the legal protection that these criminals would have turns a blind-eye condoning to the people's justice.

The movie is story narrated by Faizal - (Asif Ali), in hospital. Faizal was their travel agent for Pattaya tour and the trip for ₹25,000 was a lie for him to get ₹25,000 and it had resulted in his accident that broke his leg as the proverb says "If the dumb is cheated by the miser, the miser gets cheated by God".

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"Anarkali" (Courtesy : http://www.ibtimes.co.in/prithvirajs-anarkali-movie-review-feel-good-romantic-love-story-654822) delivers a simple message: Sincere love stays forever even if there isn't any communication between the individuals; fate will unite them no matter what, if the love is true.

Directorirector Sachy's "Anarkali" narrates the story of young navy officers Shanthanu and Zacharia, played by Prithviraj and Biju Menon. Shanthanu falls in love with Nadira (Priyal Gor), daughter of Rear Admiral Jaffer Imam (Kabir Bedi), and certain incidents change their life.

Years later, Shanthanu arrives at Kavaratti as a diving instructor and Zacharia as a system engineer of the island's light house. "Anarkali" is all about love and friendship.

Coming to the performances, Prithviraj has done a good job as a smart young naval officer and later as a matured individual who trains divers in Kavaratti. However, Biju steals the show with his remarkable comic timing and witty counters. Kudos to Suresh Krishna for speaking in the island's native language, Jeseri.

Unlike other language actresses, Priyal Gor has a good chemistry with Prithviraj as her acting looks natural and impressive.

Kabir Bedi needs a special mention for the role of a strict navy officer, and he looks convincing. Miya as Sherin Mathew, medical superendant of the island, Sudev Nair as navy officer, Arun as Prithviraj's friend, and Samskruthy Shenoy as a native of the island have done their parts well.

Filmmakers Ranji Panicker, Madhupal, Shyamaprasad, Major Ravi and V K Prakash have also appeared in cameos in "Anarkali".

The film's climax is predictable, but thanks to Biju for handling the situation well by creating a laugh riot in theatres.

Vidyasagar's music has synced well with the intense love theme of the film, but Miya's lip-syncing in her intro song wasn't right at some places.

Sujith Vasudev's cinematography should be given full marks as he has captured the beauty of the island in all ways possible. The use of helicam to shoot an aerial view of Lakshadweep makes us fall in love with the place each time.

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Pavada - The movie subtly deals with two very important themes - drinking and sexuality, It flows with the story and hence the denouement feels natural. The lives of two drunkards - Pavada Babu Sir and Pambu Joy are brought into focus. Performances from Prithviraj, Anoop Menon and Nedumudi were outstanding.

The plot in summary is: An alcoholic duo, met at a de-addiction center helps each other to arrange their lives back together with their persistent illness. Pambu Joy's married life is in a muddle due to his alcoholism. Pavada Babu's life is in pieces due to a film he produced, in which Sicily was the heroine, Joy's mother. For financial gain the film was adulterated by Eldho. Eldho intends to re-release the film's 3D extended version. Both Pambu Joy and Pavada Babu fights through their alcoholism to stop the re-release of the film due to the added pain that will cause for Babu and to Joy's mother Sicily.


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Which is your favourate among this three? - All 2015 release Prithviraj movies - The guy is back in form in Malayalam...

Sarangi

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Enjoy the specially hand designed jewellary from my Friend - Proud of you dear, and all the very best in your venture. Go and grab yours...

Love, Marriage & Depression

Choose your Lady/Man wisely.

Life seems to be complete when you have someone to share it with, though Solitude has its own bliss. Blessed are we, if we find a person who is a mirror of us. Only in another person's heart you can truely see yourself and the presence of God within you.

Age is just a number for true lovers; at a time when life is witnessing the turbulence of ‘happily never afters’, there are some who adheres to the notion of 'Till death do us apart’.

Electrified admirer do all it takes to woo the man/woman of their dreams.. But not everything would work out. Marriages have to survived the ups and downs for decades. No marriage is perfect. How can it be, when as human beings we are not perfect? It is mutual love, respect and adoration that keeps a marriage ticking.” Years passes by, love remains.

Mourning Pratyusha's death, Karan Johar tweeted, “This is just so sad...and a wake up calm to families and friends who don’t consider depression a medical condition...RIP.”

When marriage/love fail, people get into derpression. So it is important to make wise decision, as you need to take care of your life.

Missie and Mr. Clean

Studious Missie, with her long thick hair plated into two, traditional, from a typical middle class family; dreamt of how lucky it was to be placed in the booming IT sector company soon after college. Having done her schooling from a vernacular school of South India, she thought it was beyond her talent; and expected that people working there had to be hifi. Her joy knew no bounds, when she finally got a placement out there, in one of the companies. What better gift she could give to her parents, whom she loved dearly - more than anyone and anything in her life; only other person being her lovely sibling?

As always, before anything auspicious, she went to the temple, asked God to shower blessings on her, and started with her dream career. The corridors, the door to the office, the reception, chairs, paperless office, computers everywhere with duel monitor; she kept wondering where she was. Delightful journey began in her life. She had new 'friends' - and as she was a person who thought with her heart, presumed and trusted every one as her friend, and did not realise that they were mere colleagues.

Within few days of her joining, there was a trip planned. They were to leave soon after office hours, which followed US timings. As they were about to leave; an email popped up her screen:
"Missis, please reserve the seat next to you, for me" - she was spell bound, it was quite unexpected. But there was a spark in her mind, a smile on her face. Well, what could go wrong? After all, the message had come from Mr. Clean, who joined few days, after she did; though at a senior level being an IIPM product; Mr. Clean - The handsome young man; whom she had been training. How well he spoke English, and with the clients overseas in calls; indeed a gentleman.

Unfortunately though she reserved the seat next to her; it was occupied by another colleague. Mr. Clean in a polite way asked if the seat could be swiped; and finally they were together the whole night, sitting next to each other. There was an electric wave passing through her. As they spoke to each other the whole night, she saw traces of her father in him. That was the kind of life partner she expected to have; if ever she had one. When the team was busy watching movie, she was staring outside. He asked her what was wrong, and she said - she was missing her family. He reassured her that in his presence she did not need to, and they started exchanging words and heart. Next day she had a sprain in her leg, and could not go around, and had to take rest and be in the bus. He accompanied her in the bus and stayed behind - in the pretext of giving her company in case she needed anything. So continued their long chats - hand in hand for hours; all heated up. Well the time had come for the first trip to end, and he just got down, as if nothing had happened. She felt sad at the bottom of her heart. As she was heading home, she kept thinking, about all that happened, and what it meant. She wondered if she had met her soulmate; the partner of her life. On reaching home she was shocked and could not understand the message she got - "Was'nt the presex feeling great?" What did it mean? Nothing made sense, she wanted to end up everything. But was not sure, if it was part of life. She liked him, and started falling for him; while he told her it might be just infactuation and they needed to give some time.

During client visit outings, she learned from him how to use spoon, fork and knife to eat; though with boss and seniors around, while returning, he would sit in cab hand in hand with hers. She asked him if he loved her, and he said he was not sure. As they lived along the same route, they at times shared cabs enroute home, after office hours. Some of these were noted by the cab drivers, and she became the Dirty girl. He went to onsite for transition. She had a new friend in office. A Hindu Nair girl, who was in love with a Christian boy. Seeing them together made her want to have someone in her life as well, and she felt there was nothing wrong in going forward with her relationship. Whenever Mr. Clean was in office, they would lock their eyes, but never speak to each other. When something would go wrong, or he would try to ignore her, she would spend hours in the restroom crying. There she would find that she was not alone, there were more than handfull of girls, going through similar emotions. A smart clean and gentle boy, as he was; knew how to make use of the available opportunity.

The first of their private meeting was during office hours, soon after her father dropped her near office, he picked her from there and took her to an isolated place; touched her and kissed her on her private parts, boobs, stomach; and asked her to return his 'favour' by touching his pennis. Twice he took her to isolated houses, one his cousins; and another a flat where he was supposed to introduce her to his family - but on reaching home no one was there; he repeated the same action. Soon after he derived his pleasure he would just hurry off. The last was on the pretext of dropping her home after a friends wedding reception; when at night, he took her home, and said he would want to suck her breast. Though she said that was for her kid, and not for him, somehow he finally managed to do it.

All these four incidents happened, intermittently as they continued being just colleagues, friends, in a relationship - different faces, at small intervals. She kept getting into depression, started having medicines for depression; soon her family got to know about this. She was at times ashamed of herself, and thought how could she betray her family, and love someone more that everyone she has every loved. She did not realise Love was blind. Love was the king of all emotions, and she had the painful need to be with her lover. She loved him with all hear heart, but for him, it was just a time pass. She and her family were innocent. She even went to his home and confessed her love for him to his parents.

Here I remember the beautiful lines - "Adjustment & Compromise are 2 crucial sides of the same coin called relationship. Adjust when someone wants to be with you & Compromise when you want to be with someone." This is exactly what happened and what she did; not realising what she was doing. Also it is said that, when you love someone set them free; if if comes back to you, it is your's; if it does not, it was never yours. She just could not let her Love free, and wait to know if there was something genuine; but wanted him desperately; and he did not miss the opportunity he had.

He told her, he was kind to her, by not having sex with her, and thereby not spoiling her! What did that mean? Also he accused her of being a third rated Ezhava, who wanted to have an affair with a Nair boy, to belong to a higher caste....A modern educated boy; where did the feeling of caste go, when he had momentary pleasure with her? It became a matter of concern, only when it was time to make life time decisions?

She trusted only one person, whom she thought would support her, and give her the adivse that she wanted. Every coin has two side, and this might be partly one side of the coin; but a lesson to learn, remember and not to be repeated.

Indeed " The bravest thing she ever did was continuing her life, when she wanted to die"; she was victim of circumstances; anybody could have been at her place; and she wanted to warn the gen. next to be carefule; not to fall in a trap partly woven, partly pulled into, as she had fallen into the trap.

1. Never tolerate any injustice and never compromise on self-respect. Value your values.
2. Life is not safe out there, Take care.
3. Depression is deadly, don't let yourself into that mode.

KaFa

Had been waiting to meet her….today for almost 2 hours, but it was worth it…was very excited. We would be meeting after 5 years…Was it too long? Well with the advents of social networking sites like Facebook it appeared to be just yesterday that we had departed, but emotionally there was so much missing.

She was the same both physically and mentally; appearing to be strong but within a cry baby. She kept telling me I will be there in 10 minutes, and I kept walking around the mall – window shopping as well as doing some real shopping; thinking if it was okay to come early – though mom and sis had asked to stay home till evening, and we had plans to go and watch the jungle book.

Finally the cry baby, my Rams did turn up – handing over to me a finely woven Sarangi ear-rings from her new venture, with a smile on her face and undercurrent of emotions flowing beneath. First thing she said was – Chechi I should not have married. Don’t know why, and what was beneath that statement, but superficially she appeared to have a good companion in life. Who was there for her. Though very much different.

She had been going through a very tough face in life. Like every woman, she wanted to be a mother, have her own baby. The day was just one year, after she lost her carrying baby to be born and had to undergo a DNC. Wanting to have another, and expecting one, she got her monthly periods which added to her vow.

Kalli – Anger was beneath her – we managed to get into the corner of the Bloomsbury – to nibble something as she was fasting since morning, and to catch up with some private chat. Her mother was going through her last stage of cancer; and spoke to her as well. They did remember me. She said, the day her mom is no more – she, her father and sister too will leave this world, as this is not the place for innocent people like them. My dear Ram, you are educated, strong and woman of today – you should be the strength to your sister and father – it does not suit you speaking this. Be strong.

True only a handful of men if at all any could be good; but most of them are bad; it is not at all acceptable that anyone use a girl for days after marriage and leave her back home – my heart goes out to your sister; let her have the courage to go through this phase in life.

Fanna – this was what surprises me the most about you. Inspite of so much going on – saw in you – Fanna – You were still not out of your first love – and Indeed how could one easily forget someone whom you wanted to be your life partener, loved more than the best family you had; and thought of sharing a life with; who promised to marry only ‘Ramya’ if he was not a bastered; but ended up marrying another ‘Remya’? – First things are always dear to our heart – But life goes on, and we must move on – Twice he ditched you, and you have moved forward – please don’t look back my dear – The past is history, future is a mystery - Live today. Love your Life.

We walked around the mall for sometime – I had never been there for so long – more than 5 hours, but it was not enough – she could just go on and on – and she wanted me to write about her – well I knew just 1/10 or even less; and by no means were I a writer – but as she desired – so I do. And because of her Kalli and Fanna – Call this KaFa…This is her story.

Trip to Pondi and Mahabhalipuram

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Trip buddies, me with Jisha again set out for our next tour - this time around the only plan being - We start Friday 25th evening. Bus - Kallada travels to pondy from Edapally at 5:30 pm. Reach pondy Saturday morning. Booked hotel Abirami for saturday. Checkout on Sunday and proceed to Mahabalipuram. Hotel booked till Wednesday. 30th wed checkout and proceed to Chennai. Evening 4:20 flight to Kochi. Best thing is I had to know of nothing; Mera Jisha arranged for everything - The best birthday gift I ever had.

It is said that Well begun is half done - we did start well, but the beginning of the trip was not that very well.

Hotel booked in Pondi was:

Hotel Abirami Residency – Pondichery
No. 92 Anna Salai, Pondicherry - 605001.
+91 0413-2229881 to 83

Yes, mentioning the full address, because they cheated us. We had booked this hotel via Makemytrip - but when we reached the hotel there were no rooms. Thank fully an auto driver helped us find another one.

Sathishni joined us soon. It was so nice meeting her after years - 8 years to be precise - spend some time chatting and we were very hungry.

Had good lunch from A2B - Adayar Anand Bhavan. Met Surjith, Kajori and family there. Visited Manakula Vinayagar Temple;Sri Aurobindo Ashram; Matrimandir (Aurovilla),
Gandhi statue, Promenade Beach, Immaculate Conception Cathedral, Aayi Mandapam (monument), Gateway to Pondichery -

Next day had been to 'Kaasha khi Asha' & Bharathi Park.

Also indulged in the variety of cuisines available in this town during Pondicherry tour. From South Indian to authentic French and Vietnamese delicacies.

From there took a local bus to Mahabalipuram - where everything welcomed us with open arms and joy. Hotel Pallava Dynesty was a good one. We spend that evening in the shore temple 

and beach. Loved being into the seawater - which I missed in Pondi.

Next day we went to Dakshina Chitra where tradition came alive; 

and on return went site seeing to the rest of Mahabhalipuram viz:
• Pancha Rathas (Five Chariots) – five monolithic pyramidal structures named after the Pandavas (Arjuna, Bhima, Yudhishtra, Nakula and Sahadeva) and Draupadi. An interesting aspect of the rathas is that, despite their sizes they are not assembled – each of these is carved from one single large piece of stone.
• Light House, built in 1894 - we did climb the 93 steps untill the top. 

The first light was commissioned here in 1887. With a circular masonry tower made of stone, it became fully functional in 1904. Its source of light comes from dis-chargeable lamps, which rotate in bowls of mercury. Beneath it is the old light house, also known as Olakkanesvara Temple, it is India’s oldest lighthouse, built around 640 CE during the reign of Pallava king Rajasimha. This lighthouse/temple is categorised as one of the “Group of Monuments” at Mahabalipuram that were designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1984. Currently, the Pallava era lighthouse is a protected monument, maintained by the Archaeological Survey of India. Like the Shore Temple, the Olakkannesvara Temple is a structural temple. Its name translates to “flame eye.” It is situated directly above the Mahishasuramardini mandapa on a hillock which provides scenic views of the town. Prior to the construction of the new lighthouse at this site in 1900, the roof of the Olakkannesvara Temple served as the lighthouse. The climb is not too steep. Stone steps have been chiseled out of the rocky hill to assist visitors. On each of the four walls are chiseled different avatars of Shiva. On the exterior walls, there are two sculpted images in the niches of the ardha-mandapa. Enclosed within pilasters, these images of Shiva as Kalari killing “Kaala” (Yama) are later additions, not attributable to the Pallavas. On external walls of the main shrine, there are other niches or devkoshtas; on the south wall the sculpture is of Shiva as Dakshinamurthi under a tree in seated posture, on the west face an image of Shiva and Parvati seated on Kailash Mountain with Ravana trying to shake the mountain. There is another image on the north wall is of Shiva in the posture of Nataraja. I heard hat sometime towards the end of the eighteenth century, the sivalinga was stolen from the temple.

 

• Krishna's Butter ball. - One of my favourate spot since childhood. 

Mahabhalipuram, not sure why, has always been one of my most favourite places in the world. 

The day after had been to the 'City of Thousand Temples'; the second holiest place in India next only to Varanasi. Had been to Kamakshi Amman Temple, dedicated to Devi Shakti; Ekambareshwarar shrine - where Lord Shiva is worshippe in the form of Prithvi (earth, the Ulahalanda Perumal temple representing the 'Vamana Roopam' sacred Vishnu shrine of Vaikunta Perumal - which also had golden lizarad, also visited a SSI where hand-woven silk fabric was being manufactured, and did buy some sarees as well; a memorable product of Kancheepuram craftsmen.

The samosa and crispy Jilebi from Mahabalipuram bus-stop on returning was really yummy - taste still lingers.

The days away from the real life was over very soon with good memories, and had to return to real life. We started early - but did visit Mylapore - reminising the good old times - with food from Sangeetha - covering Ramakrishna Mutt,

 Kapaleshwara Kovil, St. Thome church (only church in India, and one of the three in the world - to be build on the apostel of Jeasus - others being in Rome and Spain); Luss church, and Marina Beach; enroute Chennai airport for our return flight; 

Loved to see that even Chennai airport paid tribute to the Majestic Mahabhalipuram. 

via. Tvm. Well - did not know that there was still something awaiting us, first flight over the mighty meeting of three seas - all this ended with yummy dinner prepared by Jisha's mom - the best of all the food we had.

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  Pondicherry is a quaint little town that echoes remanents of its French legacy even after 70 years. It got its freedom and was made into a union territory of India in 1964. We enjoyed driving through its green alcoves, arbours and avenues. Tree lined streets with three storied colonial buildings and cobbled streets remind us of its bygone years. Then there is the Aurobindo Ashram and Auroville the peaceful international community centre plus a lot of churches and temples to view.

We decided to go to the Rock Beach we sneaked out and drove to the beach and walked on the promenade that runs along the entire length of the coastal beach. After a refreshing couple of hours, we went back to the hotel,  and drove off to Mahabalipuram 

This city is all about rocks and rock sculpting. On both sides of the highway sculptors were seen selling their beautiful stone sculptures, except the they were way, way beyond our pockets and purses. The group of temples at Mahabalipuram were cut out from rocks, built of rocks or monolithic rock carvings. There were many huge round rocks precariously poised in a gravity defying manner atop other rocky surfaces. Several brave tourists were seen posing for photographs beneath them and around them. We did not dare to venture into such adventurous acts, just in case the rocks ( after all these years) suddenly decided to agree to the pull of gravity and logic! Anyway, off we went to Chennai after a sumptuous food and stay.