Sunday, February 21, 2016

Live Life...

I liked this msg .. Felt like Sharing...

No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement.
Give others the privilege to explain themselves.
What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.
Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.
Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.
Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.
Those who apologize first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.
Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.
Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.
Those who take out time to chat with you, does not mean they are jobless or less busy, but they know the importance of keeping in touch.
One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had.
Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare... One day our children will see our pictures and ask 'Who are these people?' And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: 'IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH'.

Only a few people care, the rest are just curious. Share your emotions with those you accept and love you the way you are. Give your best fake smile to the others.

Life laughs at you when you are unhappy. Life smiles at you when you are happy. But, life salutes you when you make others happy. Spread Happiness. Be selective in your battles; sometimes peace is better than being right.

"Sometimes you are unsatisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life..

A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of flying. But a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of returning home.

That's life! Enjoy yours...If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets. But only poor kids do that.

If power ensures security, then officials should walk unguarded. But those who live simply, sleep soundly.

If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages.

Live simply, walk humbly and Love genuinely...All good will come back to you...

Neerja


Emotional and pride filled beginning to the weekend with Neerja, Indeed there is a Neerja in every girl – strong but soft, hiding her fears, who do not like tears, but has it and holds it back. Sonam appears to have worked hard but struggles with the character; at times with a slight smile on her face; when it would have been a tension or fear; the performances by the men who play hijackers especially the guy who plays the hot-headed Khalil; is so convincing and you do feel terrorised. Good to have quality bio-pics being released off late; indeed a food for thought.
http://neerjabhanot.org/home.html


Courage. Commitment.Compassion.

Three simple words that best personify Neerja Bhanot.

Neerja Bhanot Pan Am Trust is keeping the memory of Neerja alive by reflecting, in its objectives and actions, two main and basic features of her character:

1. Do your duty, come what may, AND
2. Never tolerate any injustice and never compromise on self-respect.

Hussain(A passenger in the flight) reminisced the farewell words of Neerja, to him and other passengers of "Get Out. Run" would forever ring in his ears.

To Heroine Neerja
Harindranath Chattopadhyaya

You have become historic
And made heroism heroic!
Your valour even hallows
Great martyrs on the gallows'
Even Death itself, 0 Sweet!
Must befalling at your feet!
To you the salutation, Neerja!
Of the whole nation.

Nothing is more sorrowful for a mother than to have her kid pass away when she is alive. For the rest she would be a lesson, a great learning.


Sunday, February 14, 2016

Annual Day at Vidyodaya - Dashavataram & Wizard of Oz

A mesmerising day – beginning with the traditional Rangappoja – ‘Dashavataram’ enacted so well and ending with the beautiful recreation of ‘Wizard of Oz’ well organised – Hats off to the staff and students of Vidyodaya Nursery…The future is budded with talent…

The Wizard of OZ By L. Frank Baum; which was made into a Hollywood movie, and is also part of Broadway shows.
The story unfords in the Kansas Prairie. Dorothy lived in a small house that was in the middle of dry Kansas Prairie. She lived with Uncle Henry, a farmer and aunt EM along with her dear pet ‘Toto’ the dog. One day as Dorothy stood in the door with Toto in her arms, they heard a low wail of the wind and the long grass rippled before the coming ‘Twister’ – The Cyclone.
Cyclone subsides, Dorothy to her surprise, finds herself in the middle of the beautiful land – ‘The Munchkin city’.
Ginda the good fairy of the north appears and declares Dorothy as the sorceress of the Munchkin city and hands her the magic shoes of the witch of the wast, saying “Dorathy you put an end to the cruel witch of the east.” Dorathy requests Glinda to help her get back to Kansas Prairie. Glinda tells her –‘Go to the Emerald City. Meet the Oz. He will help you.”
Dorathy on her way meets ‘Scarecrow’ in the beautiful cornfield.
Dorothy meets ‘Tinman’ – a man made entirely on tin and cowardly ‘Lion’.
All the five friends off they go, at last they reach ‘the poppy field’.
In the poppy field they meet the queen mouse and her friends who guide Dorothy and her friends towards the Emerald city.
Dorothy and her friends finally reach ‘The Emerald City’ and meet Oz –Oz promises to help Dorothy on one condition – ‘Kill the witch of the west and hand me her broom’. So off they sent off to fulfil the mission.
Dorothy and her friends set off towards the castle of the witch of the west..in the middle of their journey, all five are seen being kidnapped by the winkies the winged monkeys –the slaves of The Black Witch.
Dorothy puts an end to the wicked witch of the west. All were freed from the shackles of the witch. OZ keeps his promise. Glinda guides reach Kansas Prairie.

The day was filled with mixed emotions - back to childhood days; and filled with awe....Indeed the future artist being moulded...

Monday, February 01, 2016

Pluralism

Pluralism, yes we find it in Individual minds, in family, in society, in the world today.

Was interesting to listen Sudeep say - X is getting married and Y is still waiting, because Y has more options/choices. Indeed; with diversity; more options; decision making becomes the key - and once decided we would keep wondering if the other choice was better.

As culture and religion often overlap, they can and do become central forces in shaping politics and society. And when we have a mix of these coexisting in a society, it is termed as pluralism.

One of the biggest challenges of our time is how do we learn to live in proximity to difference – different skin colours, different beliefs, and different ways of life. How do we peacefully talk to and negotiate with people with whom we may violently disagree? This is not easy but increasingly necessary in the contemporary world with so much movement of peoples, cultures and ideas. In this regard, the Indian experience offers some helpful lessons for diverse societies. The Indian experience shows that a delicate balance has been struck between individual and collective rights, the forces of centralization and decentralization, and the accommodation of diversity and universalism in society

India is the world's most complex and comprehensively pluralistic society, home to a vast variety of castes, tribes, communities, religions, languages, customs; and inspite of this we have Unity in Diversity; and is one of the biggest democracies in the world.

India is often referred to as the land of cultural plurality and diversity where two contrasting worldviews - that of the traditional and continuous and the formal and official (inherited from the British) thrive. These two views today coexist uncomfortably, often at cross purposes, clashing with the contemporary official and is impacting our cultural resources adversely; all said about its apprehensions in brief; it do have its own aspirations; due to which we are what we are today; attracting people around the globe.
Indian Cultural Landscape can be called ‘intellectual landscape’, a collection of religious, cultural and physical meanings ascribed to geographical components through collective memory, planted on the ground (shaped in real world and real time - the landscape) in active engagement of communities over generations, empowering nature and land. India was once called a country where on the branches of every tree golden birds resided. And therefore she attracted the Moghuls, Europeans; who came here; settled and took away many valuables.

Almost 70 years post Independence, education and professional training, hence the decision-making and policies of governance, hinges greatly on the Colonial perception of India. This limits the understanding, quality (relevance) and actions of our official systems for effective identification and safeguarding of our cultural resources, associations and values. But constitution of India protects it. In India no unified law applies to all citizens in respect of marriage and divorce. The Indian legal system is pluralistic in at least two ways. It is pluralistic in the sense that there are distinct personal laws for adherents of different religious faiths. A state sponsored system of codified law and civil and criminal courts coexist with a family court system. The existing body of writing does not adequately address the issue of the effectiveness of different strategies (as by and large the implementation was left to the state). Besides, the rapidly changing socio-economic and cultural context, wherein significant attitudinal transformation is occuring, necessitates identification of newer ways to make the 'old' concerns like tolerance and pluralism appealing.

Now as we move towards borderless world or in fact should; as various currencies in Europe have been replaced by single Euro; is it necessary, good and possible to be singular? An uphill and impossible task – as long as there are people; there would be differences of opinion; and with geographic differences same lifestyle would not be appealing. Need of the hour is to understand and co-exist; enjoying the beauty of it; and being in harmony with it. Education should teach us not to fight saying only what we do or say is right, but to accept the differences and embrace one and all.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Temples of Tamil Nadu

Tamil Nadu holds the credit of having the highest number of Temples (Nearly 34000) in the country.

Was fortunate to cover some of them - with family - in the new Fiat Linea - over a week from 16th Jan to 22nd Jan - with memorable expereince of nature around - hills, mountains, rivers, lakes, paddy fields, ocean, Bay, Water falls, fog, heat, cold, along with the temples.

It all started with:

Madurai :


Via. kumbam, Theni - was a great scenic view for driving.

Madurai city is an energetic, ancient city in Tamil Nadu, called, the city that never sleeps. The 2500 plus years old city, which has a rich heritage, is located on the banks of Vaigai River Its skyline is dominated by the 14 colorful gopurams (gateway towers) of Meenakshi Amman Temple. Covered in bright carvings of Hindu gods, the Dravidian-style temple is a major pilgrimage site.
Sree Meenakshi Amman Temple
Is one of the most famous temples in South India. The huge temple that extends beyond 6 hectares of land is dedicated to god Shiva and it is named after goddess Parvati. The temple was constructed by Kulasekara Pandya. The temple has been mentioned in the songs sung by ancient saint as early as the 7th century. Invasion of Malik Kapur in 1310 resulted in the ancient temple being destroyed. When Hindu kings returned to power, the temple was restored and the present form is a contribution by Nayaks who ruled Madurai between 16th and 18th centuries. The thousand pillar hall is one of the amazing works in the temple that is famous for architectural brilliance. It is the temple’s museum and the statues here are exquisite.

Hotel Nami's was very close and at a walkable distance to the temple.

Rameswaram:

Rameswaram, in the Ramanathapuram district of Tamil Nadu, located on Pamban Island or Rameswaram Island, is separated from mainland India by the Pamban channel. The Pamban Bridge connects the two. A visit to Rameswaram temple would take at least half a day, especially if you wish to take the obligatory religious bath at the various wells. If you desire to visit Danushkodi also, set aside a full day. In between, you could squeeze in a quick look at the other temples and religious sites. Ideally speaking, set aside two full days for a soul-satisfying and soul-purifying experience.
1. Trip to Dhanushkodi:
This is the place where the Indian ocean and the Bay of Bengal meet. This is a sacred spot as Lord Rama came here after defeating Ravana to perform certain rituals to absolve him of the sins of killing Ravana who was no doubt evil but was a devotee of Lord Shiva and a brahmin by birth.
You cannot reach the shores of Dhanushkodi in an ordinary vehicle but need a four wheel drive or a jeep to drive through the sandy path. There is no proper road.
Dhanushkodi is a mere strip of land barely 1 kms wide and 20 kms long. It is roughly 3 kms from the Rameswaram Temple. It may be reached by boat or by surface transport or, if you prefer the mightiness of the ocean, by walking. Its barrenness was further exacerbated by the tsunami that hit this coastline on December 26, 2004. The ex-President of India, Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, hails from this fishing hamlet.
As you turn your back to the land mass and face the waters, you are met by the calm sea of the Bay of Bengal mingling with the roughness of the Indian Ocean, the salty breeze assailing your eyes, your nose and your lips. The scene is truly incredible and as you watch the mighty ocean, you realise how utterly puny you truly are. An evening visit is magnificent as the setting sun turns the entire scene iridescent.
These two seas resemble a bow at their confluence with the strip of land akin to an arrow on the brink of release.
• Prior to 1964, there was a British-built railway line as well as a railway station here. However, the devastating cyclone of 1964, destroyed the village as well as all semblance of the railway line. The tsunami has done the rest, leaving not a rack behind.
The Panchamuka Hanuman Temple
is located only 2 kms from the Ramaswamy Temple. The idols of Hanuman, Lord Rama and Sita were re-located here after the devastating cyclone of 1964 at Dhanushkodi. An example of the ‘floating’ stone used by Hanuman to build the bridge connecting Rameswaram with Lanka, is also kept in this temple. The image of Hanuman, with five faces and covered in vermilion, is of special interest here.
Rameshwaram temple was preparing herself the the gingatic Kumbabishekam during the next 3 days - which was a memorable experience to view.
The Location of the TTDC where we stayed was awesome - facing the beach, with a view to the sunrise from the room.

Chidambaram:


The journey from Rameshwaram to Chidambaram was too long; but we could cover various districts; and the drive was a great experience.

Nataraja is one of the famous temples in India. It is also one of the pacha buthas dedicated to Lord Shiva. There are three dieties and one without any statue. Temple is huge and has colorful paintings on the wall. Unfortunately, the temple premises is filthy. There are no dustbins placed, and people were throwing garbage all around.

Tiruchirappalli:

The 4th largest town in Tamil Nadu, Tiruchirappalli is an ancient town with a recorded history that dates back to the 3rd century BC. The city has been ruled by various ancient and historical kingdoms and empires. The Cholas, the Pandya, the Pallava, the Vijaynagar Kingdom, the Carnatic Kingdom and the British have ruled this region and have deeply influenced the city’s culture over the years. As a result of the various cultural influences Tiruchirappalli is famous for its various monuments and temples. Also, due to the city being surrounded by various channels of the Kaveri River is rich in vegetation and natural resources.
Rockfort Temple
refers to an ancient fort and the temple which is situated in the fort’s highest reaches. Rockfort played a major part in the Carnatic wars that was a major battle that helped establish the British Rule in India. The fort also has the famous Ucchi Pillayar Temple which was built in the 7th century and stands 83 meters high atop a rock in the fort complex. The cave temples built by the Pallavas in 508 AD are the oldest structure in the fort and is also a must be seen attraction.
Jambukeshwara Temple
The Jambukeshwara Temple is one of the 5 major temples in Tamil Nadu which are dedicated to the Hindu deity Lord Shiva. The temple was built in Dravidian style of architecture by the Cholas in the 2nd century AD. The marvelous stone carvings depict the various mythological events and are fine examples of the artists’ stone carving mastery.
Sri Ranganathaswamy temple
Often listed among the largest functioning Hindu temples in the world, the Sri Ranganathaswamy temple was built between the 6th and the 9th centuries by the Azhwar Saints. The temple is dedicated to Lord Vishnu and is the 1st of the 108 Divya Desams or Vishnu Temples in the world. The temple complex is spread across 156 acres and is built in the Dravidian style of architecture. The temple gopuram is 72 meters in height and consists of 72 tiers. The temple is a must visit and is one of the major Hindu temples in the country.
Hotel Mayas was centrally located - and is now my home at Trichy - having been here with father before and now with mother & family.


Thanjavur

Brihadishwara Temple :
Enchanting, Amazing was the crowning glory of Chola temple architecture. The World Heritage–listed Brihadishwara Temple was built between 1003 and 1010 by Rajaraja I (‘king of kings’). The outer fortifications were put up by Thanjavur's later Nayak and British regimes.


Palani
Palani is a town and a municipality in Dindigul district, Tamil Nadu, located about 100 km north-west of Madurai and 100 km South-east of Coimbatore and 60 km west of Dindigul. Murugan temple on a hill - Was fortunate to be here just before the festival. To get the golden fruit - Lord Subrahmanya mounted His peacock to go around the world. Lord Vinayakar circumambulated around His parents, symbolising the world, and got the fruit. On return, Lord Subrahmanya found that He was cheated. In anger, He renounced His family and came to this spot to settle forever. Lord Siva and Parvati came to pacify Him. They said, "Pazham Nee" ('You are the Fruit'). Hence the name Palani is a popular syncopation of the two words mentioned.

Thanks to Hotel Subham, North Giri Street, Adivaram, which motivated us to get on to the hill - inspite of the rush and crowd.

Well it was not the end of the trip - unexpected further beauty awaited us - enroute our return route. Indeed a mismerisingly beautiful landscape with mist even in the afternoon - with more than 75 hair pin bends, water falls, rivers, forests, tea estates - we returned via Valpara, Malgapara, Athirapilli to Chalakudy. Back to routine.

Temples

Life is a miracle, our body is the temple of Holy spirit who lives in (1 Corinthians 6:19) Nature is our divine mother…and we are her children. There is no other heaven than in between our loved ones. Be it our family or friends, hold them tight and never let them go.
Just as air is everywhere, but we at times need fan to feel it and though there are pen and paper but someone need to hold a pen and write to leave a mark of the thoughts; visiting temple and praying hard for peace and good health helps.
We visit temple for calm and better mind set. Also 5 reasons/benefits are:
1. Location and structure: Normally they are located at ‘Moolasthanam’ or ‘Garbhagriha’ which are high positive wave centric places.
2. Temple and 5 senses: Ringing bell while entering and listening to its vibration – hearing; lighting camphor – sight; hands over camphor flame – touch; offering flowers – smell; drinking theertham – taste. These have the 5 senses activated.
3. Pradakshina: Literally means right side in Sanskrit. Once 5 senses are activated we need to go around the ‘Moolasthanam’ or ‘Garbhagriha’ preferably 9 times.
4. Applying Tilak/kumkum: Normally on the mid-brow region, when done Adnya-chakara is pressed. Facilitates blood supply, helps retain energy in the human body and control the various level of concentration. Also Ashes represent, that the end would be only Ash - Ash is that would remain of everything.
5. Prasadam : Coconut and Banana are considered to be sacred and have important place in all religious activities. All other fruits are tainted (partially eaten; and grown from partially eaten fruit).


Dejected about the circumstances around - especially diseases - taking away the life of young ones - with just born kids - wondering When people have been to Moon, Mars and around the world decades before; when atom bombs and hydrogen bombs are manufactured, when there was penicillin in the 1940s; why is still there no vacine or cure for cancer? If Xray was found long back in 1895; why does it take so long to detect cancer? Is it ture that the pharmaceutical industry would never release a new drug which cured cancer even if they accidentaly found one? Is it because curing cancer would cut into the profits of the super-rich owners of the pharmaceutical industry?

People come to our life - some for a reason; some for a season and just a few for lifetime...we cannot hold on to anyone..time moves on and so do the people as per their priorities...We can definitely learn from them...what to do and what not to...and cherish the moments...Pray hard for the wellbeing of self and all of us around.

Sunday, January 03, 2016

Food - Cook to Live



Food a basic necessity to live - and eating is what I love. So thought of understanding the basics.

Cooking this gave me a sense of joy and satisfaction – for Neil’s Piranal – though none of them could have it; except for me, Janumuttu and amma. Well this is –Cooked Cheera with grinded coconut, green chilly and Jeera; Kichadi – with grinded coconut with mustard seeds and little curd.

So easy to blame others, for changing life style when things can be better done by us. Indeed let us try – cultivating basic necessities – cook our own food –and have good one. Stop wasting lot of money on costly outside food.

Just Rs. 2,500/- and 20 kids had delicious sadhya – felt sad on the amount of food being spend in big hotels and then lot of food wasted.

Well need to start cultivation as well this year.

Osho



His books have never attracted me though very inspiring, but was curious seeing Osho for Men and Osho for Women, both with my Sis and BIL; to read about him more,


Have heard a lot of contraversies during school days about him -born Chandra Mohan Jain, and also known as Acharya Rajneesh from the 1960s onwards, as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh pronunciation (help·info), during the 1970s and 1980s and as Osho from 1989, was an Indian mystic, guru, and spiritual teacher who garnered an international following.

Was surprised to hear that his first secretary Ma Yoga Lakshmi, is Reshma's mothers own elder sister, quite interesting; whom Chandra Mohan personally asked to leave and then Ma Sheela became his secretary.

A professor of philosophy, he travelled throughout India in the 1960s as a public speaker.

1.Never obey anyone's command unless it is coming from within you also.
2.There is no God other than life itself.
3.Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.
4.Love is prayer.
5.To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness itself is the means, the goal and attainment.
6.Life is now and here.
7.Live wakefully.
8.Do not swim—float.
9.Die each moment so that you can be new each moment.
10.Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see.


He underlined numbers 3, 7, 9 and 10

While Osho's teachings met with strong rejection in his home country during his lifetime, there has been a change in Indian public opinion since Osho's death.

For me - "Never obey anyone's command unless it is coming from within you also."

2016 and so on Till The End...


Surest way to die is being born. Whatever comes together must fall apart..We might be here today; and not tomorrow; - this is with time; New Years; Life and people. ...

“Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,...
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.”

(The Tempest Act 4, scene 1, 148–158)

The flower that smiles today, tomorrow dies; All that we wish to stay temptes and then flies; what is this world's delight, Lightning that mocks the night; brief even as bright.

So what can be done by one soul, one life - have a goal - 'To help humanity' - To Live, Love, Lead, Learn and Leave a Leagacy.

So well written by Anju:

" Love is what we all are born with. Fear, anger and greed are what we are taught here. Just because this is what we are taught, it does'nt mean it has to stay with us. Help yourselves to change what you have been taught. Open your heart. Forgive. Love. And help. The world needs it. The world needs it now. As long as you act with your heart and love every one no matter what, you are changing the world, making it a better place to live in.

By every heart you touch, spread love. Spread happiness. Spread Peace.

Sending love and light on this New Year's Eve,
Celebrate the Year,
Happy 2016!

Well celebrate - would want to visit places, enrich knowledge, lend a helping hand - Target 100 books, 100 temples, 100 people for 2016 - Less outside food in big hotels, instead spend time with needy/charity- Provided I am blessed with life and health; and equipped with the necessities. Well, first and foremost, need to change the life style - get up early, exercise, meditate, eat to live and try cooking.

As the wishes from our BHR:

Let’s work towards being better than what we are today;

• Be better in our work – Think creatively, efficiently and get the details right
• Be better with our stakeholders – in how we prepare, how we communicate and how we add value to those who seek our services
• Be better with our teammates – in how we support each other, how we communicate and how we care about them as people
• Be better in our community & workplace – in how we give off our time and effort to make our town, company or neighborhood a great place to live or work
• Be better in our relationships out of the office – in how we communicate, encourage and support others
• Be better to ourself – in our self-talk, in our personal expectations and in our commitment to being all that we can be

And I need to engrave this in my heart - and remember as long as I can for survival:

1.Don't let things slip..Stay on top of things....
2. Keep up the reputation we could establish
3. Make your career development a personal priority


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Where did the year go by?


Happen to read the article on Where did the year 2015 go by in the Times of India - so true the pace of time never change, but some people never get much done, and others achieve the moon in the same span of time - Is it all because of perception? Every time as December approaches, you realise that yet another year has passed by before you even knew it. A better alternative is to set CLEAR - Clear would mean Collaborative, Limited, Emotional, Appreciable, Refinable - goals.



Enjoy what you do. You need not wait for weekends to enjoy.

12 Daily Reminders

1. The past cannot be changed.
2. Opinions don’t define your reality
3. Everyone’s journey is different
4. Things always get better with time
5. Judgements are a confession of character
6. Overthinking will lead to sadness
7. Happiness is found within
8. Positive thoughts create positive things
9. Smiles are contagious
10. Kindness is free
11. You only fail if you quit
12. What goes around, comes around.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Ladies Coupe by Anita Nair

Trying to read this book some years back, but not being able to and having put this aside; for some reason was tempted to read this in full this Christmas season.

Well though not highly recommended; better than the three trending Engineering+MBA trending authors.

Something that I perceived, which I had not before were -

1) Though it speak of 5 ladies; it actually had stories of 10+ ladies and their (Anita Nair's) perceptions.
2) The train knew where it was headed. The train would stay awake while the passengers slept. The passengers need not tell the train what to do. (This resembeles life - we need to make choices; which there are in plenty - decision making matters; and when we feel we are not on the right track - change)
3) There are 5 elements that constitute life : and one can classify oneself into each of them - Like Margaret considered herself to be water.


The five ladies sharing Ladies Coupe were the old and experienced Janaki, Rich Prabha Devi, Margaret (Maragatham) the Chemistery Teacher, the young Sheela, poor (sister to the real thing) Marikolanthu, and the Central Character Akhilandeshwari or Akhila who sets out on a journey to Kanyakumari at the age of 45, single an income-tax clerk, who had to step into her fathers shoes, when he passed away; and was never allowed to live outside her roles as a daughter, sister, aunt a provider. She wonders: Can a woman stay single and be happy, or does a woman need a man to feel complete?

How does one know if one loves, hates or is merely indifferent to a man? How does one measure what one feels? Love is a colourless, volatile liquid. Love ignites and burns. Love leaves no residue - neither smoke nor ash. Love is a poison masquerading as the spirit of wine. Love beckons with a rare bouquet. Love demands your drink of it. And then love burns the tongue, the senses. Love blinds. Love maddens. Love separates reason from thought. Love kills. Those who can't have love have to settle for need. What is love if not a need disguised?

Do every womam desire for the meeting of the sperm and egg which are parts of the potential human life and create zygote the biological human life?

Once you stop worrying what the world will think of you, your life will become that much easier to live. You have to look out for yourself. No one else will.

Also the other women in the story are Akhila's mother - who married her Uncle, and was so much in love with him, that Akhil felt, if the couple are very much in love through out their life, their children would need to live the life of an orphan? Sarasa Mamai - when the head of the family dies, the family dies with him - will any mother want to go through what Sarasa Mamai had to? Karpagam - Akhila's friend - who made her dream and think of change. Sujatha Akka; Ladies K & L.

Well there are men as well - and I wonder if the cover page is Akhila waiting for Hair or is it the Ladies Coupe? Though had taken the book the second time to know the ending - it leave with a question mark.

Who made Akhila realise - Happiness is being allowed to choose one's own life, to live it the way one wants. Happiness is knowing one is loved and having someone to love. Happiness is being able to hope for tomorrow.

Women are not weak. Women are strong. Women can do everything as well as men. Women can do much more. But a woman has to seek that vein of strength in herself. It does not show itself naturally.

Akhila is Akhilandeswari decimated into ten entities:

Kali - Ready to destroy all that comes between her and the flow of time.

Tara - With the golden embryo from which a new universe will evolve. She will be her own void and infinity.

Sodasi - Fullness at sixteen. Nurturing dreams and hopes. Even now at 45.

Bhuvaneshwari - The forces of the material world surge within her.

Bhairavi - Seeking to find ways and means to fulfil her desires before all is null and void.

Chinnamasta - The naked one continuing the state of self - sustenance in the created world; making possible destruction and renewal in a cyclic order.

Dhumathi - Misfortune personified. An old hag riding an ass with a broom in one hand and a crow on her banner.

Bagala - The crane-headed one, the ugly side of all living creatures. Jealousy, hatred, curelty, she is all this and more.

Matangi - Seking to dominate.

Kamala - Pure consciousness of the self, bestowing boons and allaying fears...

Together and seperate this is Akhila.

Saturday, December 26, 2015

End of yet another year...


The year began climing the Malayatoor hills - a wondeful trecking with sis and family - which Neil thoroughly enjoyed. View from atop a pristine hill is simply awesome; and for sis and family it ended up by the beach at Kovalam. The warm sun, calm water, and a great set of friends. For me it is a quite evening at home; being 3rd death anniversery of my father; besides his grave;a midnight bonfire might help? I remember:

Jab bhi tum khud ko akela mehsus karo to pareshan mat hona ... Bas apni ankhe band karna aur KHUDA se kehna ke kyu tune muje itna keemti banaya ke koi muje hasil hi nahi kar paaya....


Had lost my grand mother in the beginning of this year, not a shock, expected; So true...every mothers expect, pray and wish that her children will love each other long after she is gone....and many have left the world disappointed not being able to see this...What is the use of all rituals after death when one cannot be together when alive? What should we say and do with the people who try to bring barriers among the children - to the extend of declaring some of the siblings not alive, when they infact are; and other useless; except when they need them!! May the people doing this realise and pay for their folly.

What is the use of balming the discremination in the neighbourhood, when one cannot rectify it in ones own family?

Holiday week - the last week of the year, family time - Beginning with Neil's Bday and ending with Neil's Piranal; Achan's death anniversary and Amma's 60th Birthday in between; with Christman, New Year and Thiruvathira.

Thank you for all your support this year. Each of you have been valuable for me, in their own way, Not sure I’d survive without you! Yes, met so many of my old friends, had been to places, tasted variety food, saw the most number of cinema in theaters in my entire life till date and spend quality time with Ra of me.

Sending you best wishes for a happy and relaxing festive holiday.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!


Your's faithfully,

Bajirao Mastani




Bajirao Mastani is an enchanting, engrossing, entertaining but exhausting 2015 Indian epic historical romance film produced and
directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali, who also composed the music score of the film. Bhansali's perspective, so there indeed is Bhansalisam in the movie.

Aakhir Dil hey hindustani, and heart goes to Kashi, somehow cannot appreicate Bajirao going behind Mastani - howsoever good she may be - and therefore can see a true concerned mother in Radhabhai - though could not justify the brahmins - if Mastani was his first love it would have made sense - but oh ya...Love is blind and when you fall in love, you do not realise if it is first or second or nth, right; nevertheless so are the lovers. Tanvi Azmi, who portrays the role of Radhabhai mother of Bajirao, was amazing, so where both Bajirao and Mastani.

Well, well, it appears that in the years gone by, or done, most men are akin Bajirao - and have Mastani's - Rich or poor, modern or traditional, famous or common man - Some have them in their life, and is known by all; for some it is a secret - open or hidden. This relationship might be known by many names - Sauthan, extra marital affair, 2nd wife or whatsoever. And its difficult to identify - who is Kashi and who is Masthani in a man's life. To name a few - Jawaharlal Nehru, Amithab Bachan, Aamir Khan...and the list would go on and on...

Don't know why some people go intolerant, without understanding or knowing the facts. Though the movie was released around the same time as Dilwale and I was confused on which one to watch, as I had time for only one; am glad that Bajirao was choosen over Dilwale. As whoever have seen Dilwale inspite of the bad review, have just given double negative feedback and have nothing good to say.

Nazar jo teri laagi main deewani ho gayi, Deewani haan deewani ho gayi, Mashoor mere ishq ki kahani ho gayi...Thank you for the tickets...Ladies(sister's) Friday night out was a memorable one.



Oh Yes, I'm Single!


Well happen to read this year, a kind of Chetan Bhagat & Rabinder Sing; this year it was Durjoy Datta; and this year it was among other books of his - book on his story or their story - Durjoy and Maanvi Ahuja.

Well, could be the freedom and life style they lead, which have them open to so many affairs since young age - which is now becoming universal. Indeed being around a person you love makes you complete, even if he does not care about you, or is an asshole. You just wait to hear that you are loved and pray for it day after day.

When you know the love of your life if not your's the world around you appear to crash. It is upto us on how we take it. Meeting, breaking and meeting and imaginary ring. Once bitten twice shy.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Secrets to healthy Relationship


While it's true that it takes two persons in love, who trust and respect each other, to make a happy relationship, science has proved that it takes something more than love and companionship to make a relationship long-lasting.

1) Don't rush into things: The longer couples date before marriage, the greater their odds of staying together. (But there is no gurantee that they would stay)

2) Avoid expensive weddings: The duration of marriage is inversely proportional to money spent on the wedding. Debt stress is a common post-wedding phenomenon that usually eats into a relationship.

3) Cuddle up together: Couples who sleep close together are way more happier than those who don't.

4) Say "thank you": Being appreciative of the other's efforts and struggles tend to be more successful. It leads to an understanding, caring and responsive atmosphere in the relationship.

5) Be honest

6) Small gestures count : Like tight hug, a kiss, a cup of tea or an unexpected gift

7) Marriage not the only key to happiness: Cohabiting couples share the same advantage as married ones.

8) Long-distance relationships do work: These couples are likely to have deep bonding than those who are physically closer.

9) Look for a partner, not a soul mate

10) Having kids is not a compulsion: Have kids only if you think you can devote time to their upbringing and share the responsibilities with your partner.

11) Be kind: Long-lasting relationships require two essential traits: kindness and generosity.

12) Share your experiences: Going for a walk, exploring new places together or dining at new restaurants can make couples more understanding of each other.

13) Work on positive interactions: Giving compliments or showing appreciation towards the actions of your partner is important.

14) Share your laughter: Giggling in tandem is an indicator of the relationship's well being.

15) Talk as much as possible: At least 5 or more hours a week.

16) Stay fit: Being physically unfit put pressure on a relationship.

17) Give up texting

18) Drink like your partner: Its important that both partners drink in equal amounts or don't drink at all.

19) Surround yourself with happy couples

20) Be sexually active

21) Limit your friendship: couples who have a lot of mutual friends are more likely to break up, while couples whose friend circles don't overlap much stay together longer.

22) Sleep like a baby : sound sleep and happy relationship are directly proportional.

23) Share your chores : Share your responsibility.

24) Have similar spending habbits.

Easy to say - Difficult to practise.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Gujarathi Wedding Eve - A memorable experience

Had an eventful weekend, attending Gujarathi wedding of Pooja and Kunal. May there be showers of blessings on both of them. Their wedding was, simple, elegant and lively. There was lot of splendor, colours, dance, dazzlingly décor, traditional ritualism, and fun. Indeed it was very colorful and vibrant.

Sangeeth ceremony

On Saturday had been for the Sangeeth night before wedding., and wanted to return early – but the function was so mesmerizing that I ended up being my true self – A born spectator. It began with
• Dandiya – the traditional Gujarati dance which is performed by family members, with two sticks, and two circles, one moving clock wise and the other moving anti – clockwise. This ceremony gives chance for both families to meet, greet and know each other well. It was an opportunity for people to interact with as many people and know them.
• Other Dance – There were other dance like Bhangda, and Bollywood dance with D.J. Songs.
• Cake Cutting & Ring Exchange - There was cake cutting and ring exchange between the would be bride and groom. Both of them looked stunning in their traditional costume.
• Games – There was special game arranged for the bride and groom; with 10 set of questions asked, with both of them sitting facing opposite directions, and had to lift different hands if they agreed or disagreed. The would be couple scored 7 out of 10.
• Food/Dinner – Simple and yummy my mouth still waters, when I think of them – Masala Dosha, Chole Bhature and Tomato rice; followed by deserts being gulab jamun and icecream.

Wedding ceremony


On Sunday, it was soothing to see the colourfully decorated Mandap with soothing colours and few flowers with the four pillars – made of brass (presumably) pots kept one above the other, that surround the mandap representing the parents of the bride and groom. This signifies the important part they have played in raising their children to become the responsible adults they are today.

Chaats to welcome the guest, followed by yummy lunch and tea/coffee with Vadas – Batata Veda and Medhu veda.

• Barat – on the wedding day groom arrives on horse dressed in traditional attaire and family members dance in surrounding on the traditional music of band. Not sure if it happened as such, as we arrived after that.
• Ponkhana (welcoming the groom) – the groom is welcomed by brides family in traditional way where brides mother perform aarti and pulls him playfully by grabing his nose. Groom then step forward by crushing earthen pots into small pieces this signifies that groom has power to overcome any obstacles in his married life
• Ganesh Pooja – after the groom is welcomed to the mandap the ceremonies start whith prayer of lord ganesh who is know are aradhya daivat (god of peace, happiness and prosperity). ceremony begins with the worship of Lord Ganesh, deity of peace and wisdom. This is done so people can find strength within themselves to remove any obstacles that may arise..
• Madhuparka – the brides father wash grooms feet with honey, yoghurt and ghee. This is the time when sister and cousins of groom steel shoes and groom have to offer some money and take it back. Did not witness this either.
• Kanya Agman (brides arrival) – the bride arrives with her maternal uncle (mama) on the mandap when she reaches mandap there is curtain (antarpath) in between of bride and groom which separates them from each other
• Jaimala – during the arrival of bride the priest begins the ceremony by saying mangalashtak and then antarpath is lower and the couple exchange the garlands
• Kanya dan – the ritual is that parents give (dan) their daughter (goddess laxmi) to the groom (lord Vishnu). Parents give away their daughter by keeping her hand onto the grooms hand.
• Varmala – cord is tied around the neck of bride and groom and looped around 24 time by the elders in family. This means the couple is safe from any negative energy or evil
• Hasta Milap – the scarf wore by groom is tied to the scarf of bride this is known as meeting of soul. The petals of flowers and rice grains are shower on them during this ceremony.
• Mangal Pheres – brother of bride is asked to put some rice on the hands of bride and groom and pour it in hawan. The bride and groom take four circles around the hawan (fire) signifying the promise to be with each other, good health and prosperity, blessings, love and loyalty. During this ritual the priest recite some mantra. After which the bride and groom runs and sit on the chair, it is been said that whoever sits first will rule the house for life time.
• Saptapadi – during this ceremony the groom helps bride to touch 7 betel nuts with her right toes by chanting seven mantra in which he request for support from his wife in ups and downs of their life. This is the most important rite of the entire ceremony. Here the bride and the groom take seven steps together around the sacred fire (Agni) and make the following seven promises to each other: As per the Vedic rituals, the groom sings "With God as our guide, let us take":
1. The first step to nourish each other
2. The second step to grow together in strength
3. The third step to preserve our wealth
4. The fourth step to share our joys and sorrows
5. The fifth step to care for our children
6. The sixth step to be together forever
7. The seventh step to remain lifelong friends
8. The perfect halves to make a perfect whole!
The Satapadi ceremony concludes with a prayer that the union is indissoluble.
• Sindoor Daan – The groom puts red powder on brides head and ties mangalsutra around her neck which symbolize that she is married and belong to him.
• Kansar – the bride and groom feed sweets to each other after this all rituals have been done (this varies from tradition to tradition).
• Akhanda Saubhagyavati Bhava – here any seven womens are called to give blessing to newly married couple. These womens bless bride as akhanda saubhagyavati bhava which means that may your husband live long life and be with you forever.
• Ashirwad – The newlyweds take blessing from elders by touching their feet.

Post wedding functions


Gifts are exchanged between families
• Vidaai – This ceremony is about departure of couple which include tears of joy and sadness as the bride is departing for her new home leaving her old memories back.
• Ghar Nu Laxmi – The bride is welcome in her new home as Laxmi who will bring happiness and prosperity in their house. The mother-in-law place a matka or steel vessel filled with rice and ask bride to enter the new world by touching vessel with right foot.

Glad could be part of some, though not all the events – and wishing the newly wedded couple all joy.


All said and done, howsoever strong a women is, how much soever she may claim that she would not cry at her wedding day, it is an emotional day, an emotional moment. Not only the girl, those closely related to her also end up crying. This I have seen in post of the Indian weddings....all over the country, irrespective of the state or religion; except for a had few of them.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Talk Less. Talk Sense.


Yet again, just after a year; time to rethink and reiterate on what was written then - Communication is the link pin of every relationship - personal or professional. We need to ask question when required, seek for help when needed, KMS - Keep our mouth shut at the appropriate time. Most important of all, know when to do what!

1. Introduction: Do not use unnecessary adjectives when introducing others. Be specific and to the point. Ensure that there are no casual remarks.

2. Feedback: Do not give unsolicited feedbacks. As a boss you are bound to give feedback to your team members. In case you have to give a negative or bad feedback, be calm, and give it in a sandwiched fashion, adding some good points and tips for improvement. So also when you take feedback. In case you do not agree, ask for clarification, don’t argue. Be polite – and you could just say – “Thank you, but No Thank you.”

3. Confidentiality: This is the most important thing to remember. Whenever someone confides in you some confidential matter, ensure that you do not discuss it with any one. Remember, even wall have ears. If you breach confidentiality, your relationship would go for a toss for ever.

4. Hierarchy: In professional life; there are no friends, only colleagues. It is important to respect hierarchy. It is good to appear to be friendly with people at all level. But in case you talk about anything negative about your direct reports to the people reporting to them, it would be of great risk. Also we should not try to ask them, what our direct reports think about us bluntly as it would create a feeling of our lack of confidence. We need to ask it in a diplomatic manner as to ‘what do you think is the feedback about me on the floor?’

5. Problem: When you need to communicate problems, remember your boss or team members would be happy to hear about probable solutions, and not just a blunt problem statement. Ensure that you have some tips to overcome a problem, when you deliver it.

If a pen is mightier than sword; action speaks louder than words. The man of few words, have lesser risk of creating enemies. Why not try to be one?

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Weight Loss Tips in 19 Simplest Ways to Lose Fat


Weight loss cannot be achieved in a day or two, it takes more time than we can imagine. It’s a process, and your body needs to adapt to the changes that you make to your routine, exercises and to your diet.

1) Get enough sleep:

Not only healthy dose of sound sleep will normalize your metabolism, which is one of the essential "ingredients" of healthy weight loss, but also, good rest will reduce your stress levels and prevent you from "emotional" eating

2) Eating more often, but smaller meals can boost your metabolism, helping you lose weight almost effortlessly.

3) Not only healthy breakfast can supply you with the boost of energy in the morning, but also, it will help to keep your hunger at bay later during the day, so that you will snack less. Go for the mix of fresh fruits, protein and whole grains, when preparing your breakfast

4) Exercising can efficiently help you to lose weight, but what can add even more of a boost to your working out routine is a good, rhythmic, energizing music.

5) Avoid drinking soda and other sugary drinks, because they are packed with plenty of calories and sugar, that you don’t even notice.

6) Reduce the size of your portions of cakes, pasteries, chapathis, doshas and rice.

7) Exercise: jogging, walking, step aerobics, swimming, bicycling, elliptical burner, dancing, zumba and house cleansing.

8) Don’t skip meals

9) A 7 days healthy diet plan can definitely help - make sure to include fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains into your list.

10) Include freshly made soups into your diet

11) Using smaller plates is a psychological trick that can help you to eat less and, therefore, shed extra pounds.

12) Limiting your calorie intake can definitely help you to lose that extra weight; for this purpose you would probably need to plan all your meals in advance, based on your daily calorie needs

13) Drinking a glass of water before eating can help you feel full quicker and this, with less food.

14) First of all, never go grocery shopping hungry. Second, avoid going to those areas of the grocery store, where you can be tempted to buy cookies, chips, ice-creams, sodas, pizzas and other unhealthy, fattening and processed foods.

15) Going to restaurants on a regular basis can tremendously increase your weight, therefore, try to cut down on restaurants or be prepared to make healthier choices when you order: chose lean meat or fish with a salad, instead of pasta or pizza, and have a fruit salad for dessert, instead of an ice-cream or a cake.

16) If you feel hungry between your meals, snack on fresh fruits, berries and fresh vegetables. These healthy snacks will help boost your metabolism and nourish your body with vitamins, healthy nutrients and fiber, helping you lose weight the healthy way.

17) Water is a very important “ingredient” of healthy weight loss, not only it can help boost your metabolism, but also, water can provide you with the feeling of full stomach. Often, when we feel hungry, we are, actually, thirsty. Therefore, make sure to drink, at least, 8 glasses of water every day, especially, if you are serious about shedding those extra pounds.

18) Stop eating at least 3-4 hours before going to sleep.

19) Weigh yourself every 3 days (but don’t do it too often though), it will help you to monitor your weight loss and stay motivated.

Stay beautiful and treasure yourself!

5 Lessons from Aisha


What a way to start a sunday - Listening to an aweinspiring video talk by Aisha Chaudhry, daughter of Niren Chaudhry who heads YUM Restaurants in India (parent compan that owns brands like Pizza, Hut, KFC & Tacobell) Aisha passed away at teh age of 18. Sad but hugely inspiring story of her life can be heard at https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pFExgTJzEV4

Due to illness, life full of challenges, she would feel like she was in the middle of a shipwreck.

1. Believe in Miracles - Good things that are unlikely to happen. Believe in them, and they will happen.
2. Always live in the moment - Think of the things that you could do & do the things you can. Don't keep worrying of the things you can't do.
3. In every difficulty one can always find an opportunity - Enjoy that.
4. Never forget to dream - The power of the mind is limitless - All things happen twice, ones in the mind, and ones in reality.
5. If everything else fails, get a dog.

There is always someting in life to be grateful for. My soul would not have rainbows if my eyes did not have tears.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

What is Wrong with the World?


As we have more, we want more. Or else how could we describe what is wrong with the world?

“Three-BHK flat Sheena ko mil gaya hai,” were the first words that Indrani Mukherjee uttered after murdering her 24-year-old daughter Sheena Bora in cold blood.

Was Aarushi murdered by her parents?

What is the real story behind Diana's murder?

Incidents like rape, murder, riots, have become part and parcel of most of the society. 'God's own Country' is also not spared.

Soumya, a 23-year-old woman commuter of Ernakulam-Shoranur passenger train (56608) found in an unconscious state in woods near the Vallathol Nagar Railway Station on February 1 between 9-30 p.m. and 10 p.m. She succumbed to injuries at the Thrissur Government Medical College Hospital on February 6 around 3 p.m. On February 3, the police took into custody Govindachamy, 30, of Virudhachalam in Cuddalore. According to the prosecution, he tried to rob Soumya in the women’s compartment, smashed her head against the wall when she resisted, pushed her hands into the gap of a closing door and threw her out of the train. He jumped out of the speeding train, walked 200 metres to find her lying in a pool of blood. He carried her to woods near the rail track and raped her.

Is this the truth?

Can rich buy anything?

All this in a span of 6 hours.. Across the globe:

Lebanon: Twin suicide bombing, about 30 killed, few injured.
Paris: Under attack, explosions, at least 26 dead, 60 held hostage.
Japan: Powerful 7.0 magnitude earthquake has struck off the South West cost of Japan, a Tsunami warning.
Baghdad: 18 people killed, 41 injured, in suicide bomb attack on funeral.

Heavy rain in places which has scanty rainfall - with no name or chance of stopping.

No we cannot buy everything. If at all people would realise this. Our mother earth has sufficient for all, if at all, we would realise it. If at all we would understand and enjoy living in the borderless world, and really do so in peace.