Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Journey into 2015



Everything in this world comes with an expiry date, including you and me. Each of us would have our own manufacturing defects, some that can be rectified, some that cannot be. There is no use of generalising things. We are all God's creations, Unique in each of our own ways, but similar in others. Good to forgive, best to forget, Easy to say, Difficult to do. Tough time never last, but tough people do.

Recently someone said about a team/group: 'Negalu Kutathil Ninu Paravekunavar anoo'; ever since I had been wondering the English word for 'Para'; is it backstabbing? Not exactly. Is it ditching? Not exactly. Had a discussion on this, and realised; thereis no word to describe that in any other language..backstabbing comes close, 'Athu MalayaleesinteSwantham Kala Aanu' - Again hurting generalisation. We find this quality in people across, and not all malayalees are like this. What should you do, when someone tell this on your face? Keep your mouth shut? If I had to keep my mouth shut, God would not have given me the ability to speak. So is it wrong to open our mouth? No, then realised we should not react but respond. We cannot fix everything in this world, but just let go. Who realise the worth of being together will stay together, there is no use trying to impose on others. Helping one in need, being there to support can happen only when there are people around and they realise and appreciate the needs with eyes and ears open. Feel sorry and sad, to see people only cribbing, not realising how the responsibility and help rendered by being in a group has given them their own free time to do what they want, in the way they want to do it.

Talents differ, all is well and wisely put. Not sure, how my mother could be so responsible and accountable, without expecting anything in return, so very independent. Working hard with her heads down, with so much of love for her neighbours, friends, and relatives weather it be the washer man, milk man, postman. Keeping a smile on her face, with pain in her heart with love for her brothers.

This is one thing I would like to imbide in me - So strengthen the family bond - to keep the spirit of India alive - Not to adopt what is bad, but keep up the good in 2015 and am glad that I have no brother. (For each their own! Scnecdoche and no pun intended) Brother could meet sister and do much, make things positive; but sister is left saying:


Brother, I am fire
Surging under ocean floor.
I shall never meet you, brother -
Not for years, anyhow;
May be thousands of years, brother.
Then I will warm you,
Hold you close, wrap you in circles,
Use you and change you -
May be thousands of years, brother.


There is a relationship between sisters that is unlike other sibling bonds

- Jodi Picoult'' through 'My Sister's Keeper'


Walls and Bridges are made by the same material; but one unites people while other divides...It is upto each of us to be a bridge or a wall. You cannot blame the skin and blood. Circumstances, controls and priorities matter.

Life is like a journey on a train, with its stations, with changes of routes and with accidents!
We board this train when we are born and our parents are the ones who get our ticket.
We believe they will always travel on this train with us.
However, at some station our parents will get off the train, leaving us alone on this journey.
As time goes by, other passengers will board the train,many of whom will be significant- our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.
Many will get off during the journey and leave a permanent Vaccuum in our lives.
Many will go so unnoticed that we won't even know when they vacated their seats and got off the train!
The train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes and farewells.
A good journey is helping, loving, having a good relationship with all co passengers..and making sure that we give our best to make their journey comfortable.
The mystery of this fabulous journey is we do not know at which station we ourselves are going to get off.
So we must live in the best way - adjust, forget, forgive,and offer the best of what we have.
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to leave our seat, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train oflife.
Thank you for being one of the important passengers on my train...don't know when my station will come. Don't want to miss saying:"Thank You"

Thank you all for being part of this journey. Hope to see a positive and inspiring 2015 ahead.



Monday, December 22, 2014

PK



Glad to have watched this movie....Had been to a cinema theater after couple of years, and this was worth it! Like 3 Idiots/Munnabhai...could be because it is directed by Rajkumar Hirani.

Movie is the narration of a book PK by Anushka (Janani)to readers and finally has her father wisteling, who once send her an SMS 'Ashamed of you'.

As satire on God and God man; Aamir Khan is awesome as PK the Alien.The first half is flawless as the director stitches together implausible ideas to tell a very believable story. While as an audience you laugh at the absurdities, you also realize how true each of them holds in the Indian context. You also sense PK’s desperation, as you see him frantically persuade every religious custom available to him in an attempt to convey his plea to God.

Whether it be wrong number, or why human wear dress, or why different fashion between different religion, or is there any mark on individuals distinguishing religion, or the lie and theft being common on Earth and every one crazy about Money and Gandhi.

As PK lands on earth, there is love blooming in the hearts of Jagat Janani (Anushka Sharma) and Sarafaraz (Sushant Singh Rajput), a man from Pakistan she met in Bruges but seperates due to miscommunication.

Tapsvi Maharaj versus PK face-off and open criticisam can happen only in India; and to this religion, else this would have been banned or criticised heavily for sure. Jaggu's channel head (Boman Irani) helps them by using his channel as platform to expose Tapasvi. PK succeeds to unite Jaggu and Sarafaraz,but returning home is not easy for PK because he loves Janani, he takes two suitcases with audio tapes of her voice with him, and many spare batteries for his radio recorder. Movie ends with PK coming back on earth for more research with another alien.

Songs are awesome, and the one on Bhagavan reminds me of Maa in Thare Zamen pai. To reconfirm, that our maa is our bhagavan on earth!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A year of Hotels & Hospitals @ 2014



As I look back at 2014, it was a year of hotels and hospitals. Dreams comming true and getting shattered.

Live each day to the fullest, you never know if you have a tomorrow.

Love not just to be good or to make the world a better place out of some abstract moral responsibility, or to give up our hedonism. Connect with energy, it feels like excitement, euphoria and then love. Finding enough energy to maintain that state of love certainly helps the world,but it most directly helps us. It is the most hedonistic thing we can do.

Lead- Let your perception of beauty and iridescence lead your way. Places and people who have answers for you will appear more luminous and attractive. Help others on your way by all means possible.

Learn....what we know is just drops in the ocean, as is said, he who reads leads, so if you learn new skill sets, new things, it will help you in every walk of your life.

Live a legacy...Three deaths in three years, Two in four months. We never know when the time to say good bye is. Live a legacay, keep a mark with good deeds and actions, which would help the world and make a difference.

This year, have covered most of the present hotels and hospitals in and around Kakkanad and Kochi. Three lives shattered. Cannot come out of the shock of one of it, yet. Savithri Amma -Aunty - Why did you go away?

Desi Reading Time - AccessAbility


Enabled and Empowered, Shivani is a real life hero, who make us realise disability is not a disease, it is a situation, and we need to make things accessable for all. Inspiring, and best not only in this lot, but among many others. You can reach her at E-mail: shivani@accessability.co.in; mobile: (0091) 9310245743



Last couple of days had been a marathon reading of books by Indian author viz:

1. Half Girlfriend by Chetan Bhagat - A quick read, similary story line as most of the other books. Let people say anything, I still like his books. Reminds me of teenage days...Nancy Drews and Famous fives and short stories from Women's Era.

2. You'r dreams are mine now by Rabinder Sing - The book starts on a promising note, soon falls flat, and the whole concept of Politics goes wayward. The story itself drifts nonchalantly, and a reader, like me, fails to understand what the writer had in mind, or what message he eventually wanted to convey was the dream only letting the plant grow literally?

3. My Story by Kamala Das - Has been with me for quite some time, but for some reason, it took to me long...'Ende kadha' is a little different from this. My Story is simple and direct. But nothing much interesting.

4. Inheritence of Loss - By Kiran Desai,The first, and perhaps longest, lesson of the book is, kind of poverty - inherited. After that, we see a pattern of life of many people in India and how the least of them are treated, and how they treat each other including when the lucky few (in their eyes) get to the US. One fascinating insight is the Hindu attitude to Islam - that Islam is so strict and so counterintuitive to human behavior that no one actually follows it. The Hindu says, 'it makes them all hypocrites, they drink at home and try to look pius in public.'

It is a fascinating book, well written, well plotted,Reminded me of God of Small things by Arundathi Roy.

Here are some bits I like:

"One day you will be working for a MNC. There or here. Think of your children. If you stay in a developed country your children will earn a hundred thousand dollars for the same country they would be working for in India but making one thousand dollar. How can you enjoy the best?

One side travels to be a servant and the other to be treated like a king. Which side would you like your children to be?"


“the present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind”

“He learned to take refuge in the third person and to keep everyone at bay, to keep even himself away from himself”

“he had been recruited to bring his country into the modern age, but he could only make it himself cutting them off entirely, or they would show up reproachful, pointing out to him the lie he had become.

“Perhaps that’s why they had been so happy to learn a new tongue in the first place: the self-consciousness of it, the effort of it, the grammar of it, pulled you up; a new language provided distance and kept the heart intact”

“Eventually he felt barely human at all, leaped when touched on the arm as if from an unbearable intimacy dreaded and agonize over even a ‘How-do-you-do-lovely-day’ with the fat woman dressed in frisky pinks who ran the corner store. “What can I get you? Say that again, duck . . .” she said to his mumble, leaned forward to scoop up his words, but his voice ran back and out as he dissolved into tears of shops, and when he bought a shaving brush and the shop girl said her husband owned the same item exactly, at the acknowledgment of their identical human needs, the intimacy of their connection, shaving, husband, he was overcome at the boldness of the suggestion.”

”the unbearable intimacy of brand names”

“in this life, he remembered again, you must stop your thoughts if you wished to remain intact, or guilt and pity would take everything from you, even yourself from yourself”

“all the judge had worked so hard to separate would soften and envelop him in its nightmare, and the barrier between this life and eternity would in the end, no doubt, be just another such failing construct”

“What was a country but the idea of it? She thought of India as a concept, a hope or a desire. How often could you attack it before it crumbled?

“they liked aristocrats and they liked peasants; it was just what lay between that was distasteful: the middle class bounding over the horizon in an endless phalanx”

“Centuries of arguments had occurred between warring families, so many convolutions and tit-for-tats that there was no right or wrong anymore. Purity of answer was a false quest. How far back could you go, straightening things out?”

“Old-fashioned books is what I like. Not the new kind of thing, no beginning, no middle, no end, just a thread of . . . free-floating plasma . . .”

The retired grumpy judge, Jemubhai Patel, studied in a Victorian England, groomed by the Raj,all of which made him rise above his humble roots, to be a revered, fearsome(and very confused) judge...Sai, his orphaned grand daughter, exiled from the convent to be home schooled (by those delightful Bengali sisters Noni and her sister Lola) discovering the first flush of youth, the first pangs of love, with her Nepalese tutor Gyan...or Biju, the judge's cook's son who is moving from one restaurant job to another, as an illegal immigrant in New York.

All the characters are sharply etched, clearly defined and follow an often unpredictable trajectory of departures and homecomings. But for some reason, I thought soemthing was missing. Was it the hangover of 'My sisters keeper'by Jodi Picoult?

5. Unaccostomed Earth a collection of short stories from Pulitzer Prize winning author Jhumpa Lahiri.The title story of the book is about three generations, and the relationship between the three, the father, his daughter, Ruma, and her son, Akash. The Second 'Hell-Heaven'simple human emotions such as loneliness, love, jealousy and also describes how people change drastically over time.

The last is a set of 2 stories "Hema and Kaushik".The story revolves around two people who, despite being childhood acquaintances and their families being old friends, lead drastically different lives. Two decades after Kaushik's family stays with Hema's as houseguests, they meet again by chance, just days before they are to enter into completely different phases of their lives, and they discover a strong connection with one another.The entire story of Hema and Kaushik is divided into three parts.
"Once in a Lifetime"- The meeting and departures.
"Year's End"-Kaushik's life after his mothers death.
"Going Ashore" - Meeting after years - To depart for ever.

This was a good read.

Human Nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth - Nathaniel Hawthorne

6. No Looking Back -By Shivani Gupta:

No Looking Back is a deeply moving and inspiring narrative about surviving the challenges of disability in a country that takes little account of the daily difficulties and indignities faced by approximately fifteen per cent of the world’s population, whether in terms of infrastructure, legislation or awareness—a country that appears to believe that disability equals invisibility from the public discourse. Undeterred by the hand fate had dealt her, Shivani Gupta has chosen to champion the cause of the disabled everywhere and is today one of India’s best-known accessibility consultants. Her life is an extraordinary testament to true courage and the indomitability of the human spirit in the face of overwhelming odds.An incredibly true story, which touch our heart fill our eyes, and tell us there is so much more we can do, and how blessed we are. Shivani and Vikas also throws light on Team work, Love, vision, and so much more...I do not know how to Thanks Pooja for lending this book to me...

Control seems an illusion
All I do is live my destiny,
Happy or sad is up to me.
Possession seems an illusion,
As everyone was born free
To live their own destiny

Hired Guns Vs. Patriots



Basically Employees of today fall under two category viz: Hired Guns Vs.Patriots.

Hired Guns: Are one of the easiest employees to recruit and motivate who do what they do for cash rewards. They don't need nor desire recognition. Self motivated and looking for maximum compensation.

A patriot always go above and beyond their duties because they really believed in the company and it's ownership.

Long gone are the days when an employee remained with a company for 30 years before being rewarded with a gold watch and nice pension. The cornerstone of today's business model is agility. Things change in a quarter rendering well planned strategies obsolete and ineffective.

Your employer won't tell you that, though. Today's employer now more than ever will drain your personal talents for as little investment as possible. The code words are...

"We really need your help on this one...

"We know we can count on you to...

"We know it's a lot to ask but it would be great if...

Your response to any of these or similar request must be, "No problem, how much?"

Have no doubt, the moment your position becomes redundant or the business model changes you will hear, "Awfully sorry but..."

Most times your extra efforts will be to support a poorly developed project or initiative that will end in disaster.

Ask yourself this question, "Do I genuinely have a role to play in making the strategic decision that will affect my future here?"

If the answer is "No", then you should be paid for your extra efforts. If you choose to give up part of your life on someone else's whim then you are a patriot.

The company had expressed the need for you to tap additional personal resources why shouldn't they pay you for them?

Hired Guns are Easier to Work With

This may seem to be a counter intuitive statement. Most managers can't deal with a "take away" attitude frequently displayed by a hired gun. Hired guns will walk out on you for a better deal without remorse.

If management would view this attitude from the proper position it's really very simple. They are motivated by personal gain. Either their overhead cost is worth the revenue company generate or it isn't. If management feels they will gain more by making a change they have no hard feelings.

Turn the tables. If you had a seller who was under performing you would cut them and not lose a wink of sleep. Why is it wrong for an employee to fire you?

It's not a case of who need who more. It's a case of who need your business model in order to benefit and your business model needs whom in order to grow. They feel that they may be an employee but they are NEVER a subordinate.

A Hired Gun Will Tell You the Truth

Because the team members personal enrichment relies heavily on the decisions management makes they will be brutally honest and sure in their advice.

A patriot will sit at the conference table, eyes aglow with admiration hoping for another pat on the back and support your decision to drive off a cliff. Moreover, they will happily occupy one of the seats in the plummeting vehicle.

Rest assured, as soon as you have my resignation you are in trouble. Not because you are losing my resources but because the torpedoes they warned you are about to strike amidships and they'll be in the first lifeboat.

Patriots are Emotional Basket Cases

Hired Guns do'nt get into personal things they dO want to show up, do their job, count gold and leave. Their motivation is money so it all boils down to simple math. How do you calculate the emotional overhead required to keep a patriot happy? That's easy. The answer is "never enough".

From one perspective it may seem that these loyal followers may offer a less costly alternative to a hired killer. After all, an engraved shiny brass plaque or genuine acrylic trophy is much less expensive than a $10,000 bonus check.

Patriots are the need nancies which takes a managers psychological toll never accounted for. The constant need for recognition, understanding and reassurance is a which some managers would not like to carry.

Hired Gun's don't mind having lunch or the occasional cocktail but at the end of the day they find it so much easier when the relationship is based on a paycheck.

The "But" in Using Hired Guns

A hired gun will typically get the job done for you. But there are a few rules.

The first rule is that a hired gun will always use your rules against you. When you present a compensation plan to a hired gun there can be no deviations.

There can be no request for concessions. If the business is having a tough quarter because you made some poor business decisions that's on you. The answer is "No" so don't even ask.

Most good hired guns are pretty smart. If you are sandbagging commissions or using fuzzy accounting methods to calculate commissions we'll figure it out.

The deal is very simple. I kill the bear and you pay the bounty. Should I fail to deliver revenue you have an obligation to sever our relationship. Likewise, if the bounty paid or the hunting ground is less than advertised I, too have an obligation to sever the relationship.

If all you have to offer are hugs hired guns will not have much to discuss.

Well these are the two extremes - which are easy to deal with, but the real difficulty to to deal with the people in the middle...who keep shifting boats - It's difficult to assess them.

Today's Children Tomorrow's Grown-ups





Children's' lives are different from place to place. They may live in city apartments/bunglows/huts, in jungle villages, or on lonely farms. They may travel by car, camel or canoe. They speak different languages and play different games.

Wherever they are, children learn, work and play in the local ways and share in local customs. But the lessons they are taught and the games they play have a common purpose around the world;

Preparing them to be tomorrow's'grown-ups.

We should view them as they really are, as end points in evolution that lead us forward. But in order to learn to evolve they need our energy on a constant basis, unconditionally. The worst thing that can be done to children is to drain their energy while correcting them. This is what creates control drama in them. But these learned manipulations on the child’s part can be avoided if the adults give them all the energy they need no matter what the situation. That is why they should always be included in conversations, especially about them and you should never take responsibility for more children than you can give attention to.

Number of children one has is important because any one adult can only focus on and give attention to one child at a time. If there are too many children for the number of adults, then the adults become overwhelmed and unable to give enough energy. The children begin to compete with each other for the adults time. All the energy does not have to come from the parents alone. This could be from someone who takes care of them.

We should tell children the truth of every situation in language that they can understand. Treat their questions seriously, avoiding the temptation of giving fanciful answers, which is plainly for entertainment. We should always find a way to tell children the truth.

Happen to read 'The Prophet' again after quite some time; a book of 26 prose poetry essays written in English by the Lebanese artist, philosopher and writer Kahlil Gibran; was the motivation to write this, which in turn was Neil. The chapter on children in the book say:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer see the mark upon the path of infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrow may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness,

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.

And then I read this:

http://www.create-your-life.com/Parenting.html

Parenting Mystery:
As a parent, isn’t it my responsibility to teach my child honesty and respect?

NO.
We cannot learn for them, suffer for them, live for them, protect them from themselves or claim responsibility for their mistakes. We can offer guidance by being true to our soul, allow and inspire them to explore and be true to theirs. When we are responsible for ourselves, owning everything we think, say and do, we are doing our best to help our children train their bodies to perform as they intend it, and inspire them to express their love, through their gifts, in ways that best suit them. Love is the most important gift a parent can give their child.

The second most important quality for you to inspire in your child is to claim responsibility for themselves and every choice they make. IF YOU take responsibility away from your child in your attempt to SAVE them (from hurt, embarrassment, failure, or whatever reason you make up), you rob them of the opportunity to learn responsibility naturally, gracefully. Help them to see the simple choices available to them. Allow them to be responsible for their choices with nurturing support, not expectation or guilt. If they react with disappointment or hurt by the outcome of their choices, embrace them with love and respect by helping them see what choices they can make now to manifest their intention. The third most important quality you can inspire in your child is compassion: Feeling empathy for another and expressing love to help them through the difficulty they are facing.


Contact Create Your Life

To learn how you can inspire the qualities you want to nurture in your children, call the Life Strategies Coaches at Create Your Life! today at 480-788-6222. You can also reach Create Your Life! with any questions that you may have about parenting and inspiring the qualities you want to nurture in your children through the Contact Us page.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Controlling & Dramas


Interesting details:



1.When both partners in a relationship or members in a team are overly demanding, when each expects the other to live in his or her world, to always be there to join in his or her chosen activities, an ego battle inevitably develops. There is profound sense of restlessness with changes around. We're all looking for more fulfillment in our lives, and we won't put up with anything that seems to bring us down. This restless searching is what's behind the 'me-first' attitude that has characterized recent decades, and it's affecting every-one.

2. Working to establish a more comfortable style of survival has grown to feel complete in and of itself as a reason to live, and we've gradually, methodically, forgotten our original question....we've forgotten that we still don't know what we are surviving for. We are all preoccupied. We have created the means of material security in 400 years and now we seemed to be ready- poised, in fact - to find out why we had done it.We need to observe culture not just from the perspective of our own lifetimes but from the perspective of whole...millennium...universe. Today we see around, obsessiveness, preoccupation with economic progress. People have stress related diseases and can't slow down thus reducing life only to its practical considerations.

3. Controlling for everything is impossible, some plants grow large. Don't think anything happens by coincidence. It happens to complete the unfinished business! We can affect our surroundings, by what we do with the energy that belongs to us, the part we control. When we control another human being we receive their energy. We fill up at the other's expense and the filling up is what motivates us.

4. We must face up to our particular way of controlling others. Humans have always felt short of energy and have sought to control each other to acquire the energy that flows between people. But why do you want to control and dominate others? After every conversation; individuals come away feeling strong or feeling weak, depending on what occurs in the interaction. We try to be in control, and if we are in control we receive a psychological boost and so the conflicts. We do not listen to understand, we listen to reply.There have been conflicts between families, nations and employement settings. It's the result of feeling insecure and weak and having to steal someone else's energy to feel okay.

5. An alternative source exist, but we can't stay connected with this source until we come to grip with the particular method that, we, as individuals, use in our controlling, and stop doing it because whenever we fall back into this habit, we get disconnected from the source. Getting rid of this habit isn't easy because it's always unconscious at first. The key to letting it go is to bring it fully into consciousness, and we do that by seeing that our particular style of controlling others is one we learned in childhood to get attention, to get the energy moving our way, and we're stuck there. This style is something we repeat over and over again. It is called our unconscious control drama.

It is called drama because it is one familiar scene, like a scene in a movie, for which we write the script as youths. Then we repeat this scene over and over in our daily lives without being aware of it. All we know is that the same kind of events happen to us repeatedly. The problem is, if we are repeating one particular scene over and over, then the other scene of our real life movie, the high adventure marked by coincidences, can't go forward. We stop the movie when we repeat this one drama in order to manipulate for energy.

6. Everyone plays a drama of one kind or another. Your way of controlling people and situation in order to get energy coming your way, is to create this drame in your mind. Everyone manipulates for energy either aggressively, directly forcing people to pay attention to them, or passively, playing on people's sympathy or curiosity to gain attention.

When we are aloof and do not allow an important coincidence to take place, we appear to be playing a defensive drama.

An interrogator is another kind of drama. People who use this means of gaining energy, set up a drama of asking questions and probing into another person's world with the specific purpose of finding something wrong. Once they do, then they criticize this aspect of the other's life. If this strategy succeeds then the person being criticised is pulled into the drama. They suddenly find themselves becoming self-conscious around the interrogator and paying attention to what the interrogator is doing and thinking about, so as not to do something wrong that the interrogator would notice. This phychic deference gives the interrogator the energy he desires.

If someone threatens you, either verbally or physically, then you are forced for fear of something bad happening to you, to pay attention to him and so to give him energy. The person threatening you would be pulling you in to the most aggressive kind of drama, what the sixth insight calls the intimidator.

If someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are responsible, and that, if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to control at the most passive level, with what the Manuscript calls a poor me drama.

Anyones drama can be examined, according to where it falls on this spectrum from aggressive to passive. If a person is subtle in their aggression, finding fault and slowly undermining your world in order to get your energy, then, this person wouldbe an interrogator. Less passive than the poor me would be aloofness drama. So the order of drama goes this way: intimidator, interrogator, aloof and poor me.

These are inculcated in us from childhood, from our upbringing. Interrogators make people aloof!Intimidators create the poor me or another intimidator.

Almost all of us tend to be stuck, at least some of the time, in a drama and we have to step back and look at ourselves long enough to discover what it is.

7. Once we become conscious of our control drama, then we can focus on the higher truth, the silver lining so to speak, that lies beyond the energy conflict. Once we find this truth, it can energize our lives,for this truth tells us who we are, the path we are on,what we are doing.

8. We can relate well with other people-children and adults, name control dramas, focus on other people in a way that sends them energy. If we are observant about who to talk with, then we get the answers we desire as a result. One person can uplift another. And if all the people in a group can interact this way, the group by itself will rise to a higher level.

9. We bring the whole process to consciousness. We increase our energy level and experience the coincidences consciously. This carries evolution onward at a faster pace, lifting our vibrations even higher.

The Celestine Prophecy.....By JamesRedfield



An adventure journey into the search for meaning...through the ancient Peruvian manuscript and the spiritual insights it holds.

Summary: (1)With coincidences, (2) we are in the process of constructing a new world view, (3) universe in reality is a vast system of energy and (4)human conflicts are a shortage of and a manipulation for this energy. (5) We could end this conflict by receiving an inpouring of this energy from a higher source. (6) We could clear our old repeated dramas, and find our true selves.(7)Staying in this magic flow is truly the secret of happiness. (8) Knowing how to relate in a new way to others, bringing out in them the very best, was the key to keeping the mystery operating and the answers comming. (9) Revealing where the evolution was taking us.



Points:

The first insight occurs when we take the coincidences seriously. These coincidences make us feel there is something more, something spiritual, operating underneath everything we do.

The second insight institutes our awareness as something real. We can see that we have been preoccupied with material survival, with focusing on controlling our situation in the universe for security, and we know our openness now represents a kind of waking up to what is really going on.

The third insight begins a new view of life. It defines the physical universe as one of pure energy, an energy that somehow responds to how we think.

The fourth exposes the human tendency to steal energy from other humans by controlling them,taking over thier minds, a crime in which we engage because we so often feel depleted of energy, and cut off. This shortage of energy can be remedied, of course, when we connect with the higher source.

The universe can provide all we need if we can only open up to it. That is the revelation of the Fifth Insight.

The basic of 6th was before we could fully enter the special state of mind that so many people were glimpsing - the experience of ourselves moving onward in life guided by mysterious coincidences - we had to wake up to who we really were.

Seven deals with the process of consciously evolving yourself,of staying alert to every coincidence, every answer the universe provides for you.Even to comapare your dreams to your story.

The eighth is about interpersonal ethics, it explains how we can aid others as they bring us the answers we seek. And further it describes a whole new ethic governing the way humans should treat each other in order to facilitate everyone's evolution. As all the answers that mysteriously come to us really come from other people - all around -children/young/old. But remember not to go too fast. Stay centered in your situation. Do'nt become addicted to another person, it stops your growth.

The ninth reveals our ultimate destiny. As humans we are the culmination of the whole evolution. It talks about matter beginning in a weak form and increasing in complexity, element by element evolving into a higher state of vibration.

Also there is another book - The Tenth insight, which is about compassion,forgiveness and tenacity. It talks about the afterlife dimension, where near death experiences occur.

These are explained in each of the chapters viz:

1. A Critical Mass
2. The longer now
3. The matter of energy
4. The struggle for power
5. The message of the mystics
6. Clearing the past
7. Engaging the flow
8. The Interpersonal Ethic
9. The Emerging Culture

Not easily understood in the first go, but indeed very thoughtful.

Thanks a Ton Reshma for sharing such a wonderful book with me!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Moonnamidangal - K V Manikandan



Proud to hear about the novel release by K.V. Manikandan, and my eyes fills with tears on the thought that Kumarai chechi is not around to see this. Hope she would see this from heaven, am sure her blessings are always around.

സഹോദരന്à´±െ ഗർഭം à´ªേà´±ുà´•à´¯ും ആകുà´ž്à´žിà´¨െ വളർത്à´¤ുà´•à´¯ുംà´šെà´¯്à´¯േà´£്à´Ÿിവന്à´¨ à´’à´°ു കവയിà´¤്à´°ി അവരുà´Ÿെ à´•à´¥ à´¨ോവൽ à´°ൂപത്à´¤ിൽ à´Žà´´ുà´¤ിà´ª്രസദ്à´§ീà´•à´°ിà´•്à´•ുà´¨്നതാà´£് à´ˆ à´¨ോവലിà´²െ à´ª്à´°à´®േà´¯ം , à´¸്à´¤്à´°ീ മനസ്à´¸ിà´¨്à´±െ അഗധതലങ്ങളിà´²േà´•്à´•ുà´³്à´³ à´…à´¨്à´µേഷണമാà´£് ഇതിà´²ൂà´Ÿെ à´¨ോവലിà´¸്à´±്à´±് à´¨ിർവ്വഹിà´•്à´•ുà´¨്നത് . à´µൈà´šിà´¤്à´°്യങ്ങളിà´²ൂà´Ÿെ à´•à´Ÿà´¨്à´¨ുà´ªോà´•ുà´¨്à´¨ à´•à´¥ാà´µിà´·്à´•ാà´°ം à´µായനക്à´•ാà´°ിൽ à´µിà´¸്മയവും à´•ൗà´¤്à´•à´µുà´®ുà´£്à´Ÿാà´•്à´•ുà´¨്à´¨ു . à´¡ി à´¸ി à´•ിà´´à´•്à´•േà´®ുà´±ി ജന്മശദാà´¬്à´¦ി 2014 à´¨ോവൽ മത്സരത്à´¤ിൽ à´’à´¨്à´¨ാം സമ്à´®ാà´¨ം à´¨േà´Ÿിയകൃà´¤ി .

Keep going...Mani Meenu...

Sunday, November 02, 2014

The Pretensions of Choice


When life throws at you
A basket of choices

You dig into its depth
Fooled and ‘buffooned’

.
.
.
.
.

Choices that are myths bundled into mirages
Choices that float and burst at the touch of reality

The word ‘choice’ left meaningless as destiny and fate make your life!

So wrote Devi in her blog.. http://deviharidas.blogspot.in/2014/09/the-pretensions-of-choice.html#comment-form

True we do not choose to be born, live, suffer or die but don't we have choices in life? When there are different alternatives aren't or do'nt we choose one of these choices:-) When my father was ill, we tried treating him at the best doctors around, but in the end had no choice but to let him go...

In the dream it seems like we have many choices, such as whether to have spaghetti or fish filets for dinner, or whether to turn right or left at an intersection. But do we really?

Even though we think we are making choices and have a certain amount of control over our lives, our conscious mind is actually along for the ride, while the unconscious mind creates the entire dream we experience through the power of choice, even when we don't fully realize what we're choosing.

The power of choice involves directing our attention. Your Emotional state will tell you what your are choosing.

- See more at: http://www.wellbeingalignment.com/power-of-choice.html#sthash.BNvHw966.dpuf

For those who belive in God it is clear that he does give us a choice which is an essential part of how he works with us; He did not, for instance, make it impossible for Adam and Eve to reach the forbidden tree (which He could have done), but advised them to keep well clear of it.

Is it all Fatalisam? Are all our choices already decided?

Life after death?



Death is an uncomfortable subject. Many poeple prefer not to talk about it.But sooner or later, we must confront it. And the sting of death is sharp and painful. Nothing can fully prepare us for the loss of a parent, a spouse, or a child. A tragedy may strike unexpectedly or unfold relentlessly. Whatever the case, the pain of death cannot be eluded, and its finality can be devastating. Especially for those very close, near and dear.

People often ask themselves questions that do not seem to have an answer. Sometimes this is called philosophy. Especially when a loved one dies, people ask: Is there life after death? And I have been asking this question to myself for quite sometime.

That’s a question Dr. Gary E. Schwartz has asked himself and he presented his mouth-dropping, scientific results in his book “The Afterlife Experiments”.

Read this in Facebook and thought it interesting:

In a mother's womb were two babies.
One asked the other: "Do you believe in life after delivery?"
The other replies, "why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later. "...
"Nonsense," says the other. "There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?"
"I don't know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths."
The other says "This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short."
"I think there is something and maybe it's different than it is here." the other replies,
"No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere."
"Well, I don't know," says the other, "but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us."
"Mother??" You believe in mother? Where is she now? "
"She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world."
"I don't see her, so it's only logical that she doesn't exist."
To which the other replied, "sometimes when you're in silence you can hear her, you can perceive her. I believe there is a reality after delivery and we are here to prepare ourselves for that reality."

Also there was this interesting discussion between Anish and Julia on why at times when we are at some place for the first time we feel we had been there before? Julia said, it was because we had been there in our past life. Would it be true?

I have never belived in life after death, but we need to live well in this life of ours. But inspite of it, this question often come to my mind....Anybody has an answer?

Ask & KMS


"Higher my achievements, and greater the position of my power, the more helpless I will become; the less I will know about the state of things. In those moments of my helplessness, my ego will come in my way of seeking help. My workplace will make me falsely believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness.

Just as you teach me to say "I do not know", I pray to you to teach me to actively seek help."

Communication is the link pin of every relationship - Personal or professional. We need to ask question when required, Seek for help when needed, KMS - Keep our mouth shut at the appropirate time. Most important of all, know when to do what!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Bounce Back



Just got my hand out of the bag after almost two months; first out of plaster and finally out of the bag too. Thanks to all who had been there to help me, support me.



Had interesting comments of me being careless, Suzukimenu Sradhikandu venuvo? etc. Belive me or not, I wonder if it was because I was extra carefull having a kid with me. Indeed it was a learning experience, with the pain and having to meet the BAU's, both personally and professional. With me those related - friends, families and well-wishers had to bear a pinch of the pain.

Two things I pondered over these days...

7 Mood Lifters:

1. Don't try too hard - keep away expectations and learn to accept.
2. Set personal goals and go after them
3. Don't underestimate your ability to bounce back
4. Nurture good relationships with people you care about
5. Forget retail Therapy - Material possessions cannot make us happy
6. Focus on the good, not on getting over the bad
7. Be empathetic and grateful

And indeed yes the talk by Mohanlal the Malayalam Cine Actor in response to the address by our Prime Minister on Teachers day -

You dream not to be someone, but to do something wholeheartedly, with integrity: - Indeed we need to have a culture of doing anything we do wholeheartedly and with integretiy. We may succeed or we may fail. Failurs/Falls are also a reality of life. When we have success/health we never ask why me, then why at the time of failure/fall?

We can reflect on what went good/bad and try to fix them. Bounce Back. Rest is destiny. Have a beautiful life!

Have covered both my hands again (have had them even before) in a span of two years. Hopefully not again. Thank you all for the support and wishes during these days and hope and pray for all success and health in the comming days.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

The river



Was listening to Payal sing this wonderful song from the 1968 movie Anokhi Raat

ओहरे ताल मिले नदी के जल में, नदी मिले सागर में
सागर मिले कौन से जल में, कोई जाने ना

सूरज को धरती तरसे, धरती को चंद्रमा
पानी में सीप जैसे प्यासी हर आत्मा
बूँद छूपी किस बादल में कोई जाने ना

अनजाने होठों पर क्यों पहचाने गीत है
कल तक जो बेगाने थे, जन्मों के मीत है
क्या होगा कौन से पल में कोई जाने ना

This took me to the poem by Cole Swenses.
It is a rare night
down along the river,
a sheet of glass repeating
“I am water.”
The lights upon it
do not dance, but strike
and go down forever.
This river has forgotten
the way to the sea,
it will wander the earth
like a liquid sleepwalker
stopping people on the street
and asking, “have I arrived?”

Is there any relation between the two? Guess no- But how the mind is a wandering lust...

The Three Qualities of People I Most Enjoy Working With & 10 Qualities of a good boss


Interesting to read this article by Jeff Weiner - Influencer- CEO at LinkedIn who had also this diagram which say most of it.



Also Bernard Marr - Influencer -Best-Selling Author, Keynote Speaker and Consultant in Strategy, Performance Management, Analytics, KPIs and Big Data says:

Effective bosses and managers tend to have the the below 10 signs:

1.Provide strong leadership and a clear vision
The captain must steer the ship. If leadership doesn’t know where a project or company is headed, how can the company know? This isn’t just about steps or deliverables, either, but a clear vision of the department or company’s future that he or she can communicate to the employees.


2.Hold themselves and others accountable
Many bosses hold their staff accountable, but the best show that they hold themselves accountable as well. This means adhering to the same guidelines they set for their employees and taking responsibility for both team successes and failures.


3.Good problem solver
One key thing the best bosses seem to have in common is that they are all consummate problem solvers. They can not only spot them, but brainstorm successful and innovative ways to fix them.


4.Avoid micromanaging
The best bosses understand the art of delegation. My commenter said something along the lines of, “They’ve fired themselves from their previous job,” meaning that they don’t interfere in the day-to-day and minute-to-minute workflow or processes. In essence, learning to delegate instead of micromanage is about trust.


5.Effective decision makers
Effective bosses must be effective decision makers. He or she cannot vacillate over every tiny decision. Being able to make decisions quickly and decisively — and then take responsibility for the outcome (see number 2) — is an important business skill, especially when managing others.


6.Put people first
The best bosses understand that there must be a balance between the company or client’s needs and the needs of his or her employees. The best bosses are willing to listen and talk about any issues an employee may be having because they understand that a happy employee is a more productive employee.


7.Manage up, down, and sideways
Managers are expected to manage the people below them on the corporate hierarchy, but the best managers also have ways of managing their superiors and coworkers on behalf of their team. Many times this means effective communication, managing expectations, and requesting help in a timely manner.


8.Show Appreciation
Every employee wants a pat on the back once in a while, and the best bosses understand the importance of recognizing and appreciating employee contributions. This doesn’t have to mean bonuses or fancy corporate awards, but regular and meaningful expressions of appreciation.


9.Be Honest
There’s nothing worse than a boss who says one thing and does another, and nothing better than one who keeps his word. Just as managers must trust their team, employees must trust their boss to have their best interests at heart.


10.Be Dedicated and balanced
The very best bosses I’ve seen are passionate about their work; they live and breathe their jobs and strive to do the best work possible. Yet at the same time, they have lives outside of work. They understand the need to balance family and work or play and work. And they set a good example of how to do that for their employees.

Adultery - Paulo Coelho


Yet another new novel from the international bestselling author whose words change lives. Though the novel is not as interesting - in fact I did not like it at all, there were some thought-provoking words -

You don't choose your life, it chooses you. There's no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them and carry on. We can't choose our lives, but we can decide what to do with the joys or griefs we're given. Sometimes you have to lose yourself to discover who you are.


Linda knows she's lucky - has everything - money, lovely kids, bit dull but understanding and loving husband, respectable job. But she is not happy... Kinda depressed, or maybe not really, she is not sure herself...And what she does is not what I would have loved reading....

Thanks to Reshma for sharing this book with me; lucky I didnot spend my money on it. Not sure what's going wrong with this man - with every passing year, the quality of his books are comming down, is it time to stop reading him so that I would not loose my interest in The Alchemist?

Keep Smiling



People change so that you can learn to let go,
Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right,
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
& Sometimes good things fall apart.....to make you realise how good it was for you, and you appreciate it even more.

People console you saying it is so that better things can fall together.
But something’s, some people and time are irreplaceable,
Bygones are bygones. Cry. Forgive, Learn, Move on.
Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness – But you keep smiling!
Still ponder do everything happen for a reason?



Sunday, August 31, 2014

When we were small


When we were small,

We would put arms in our shirt and tell people we lost our arms,

< We would try to mix coins in carem board, chess, snake and ladder, luddo and cards, when we knew we were going to lose and start again,

We tried to save paise with small dreams,

We tried to push all the buttons on four colour pens,

We faked being asleep so we would be carried to bed.


We thought sun moved from east to west and moon followed us.

We tried to balance the switch between on and off,

We tried to count the compartments in the running train,

We enjoyed being amidst nature, and loved playing outdoors,

We swallowed a fruit seed and would be scared to death if a tree would grow in tummy and come out of our mouth,

When we were kid’s we couldn’t wait to grow up, and now we have the answer to the most asked question in our childhood – what do you want to become when your grow up?

A Child again - Childhood was the best part of our life, at least mine – with my parents around.

Drive:



700 meters from Palarivattom to ByePass and it takes 35minutes to cover that.Same with Padamugal to Vazhakala or Kakkanad to CEPZ.

In Europe or States I definately think it is a pleasure to drive. Everyone is patient and curteous. There's not honking, roads are good and the enforcement of the law is serious.

In India, the main problem is population,narrow roads and number of vehicles on the road which makes it a huge excercise in logistics to manage. The roads are bad, and people not educated in the ways of traffic to know that the more orderly they are, the better and faster the ride will be.

I think the govt should take themselves and our laws seriously and enforce the laws no matter what it takes. Have a digitized online driver points system that is linked to the amount of insurance they pay. The more violations / accidents = more points = higher insurance. Improve roads and awareness.
Start spending some real money on this (smartly) and it will pay for itself in lesser pollution, fuel consumption and time spent on the roads rather than at work.

The unwritten law of the road is “FILL IN THE GAPS”. However, that keeps the driver always on alert ready to stop or swerve at any point. Compared to this, driving in the US or Europe can be a BIG BORE. It tests your patience waiting for the cars in front of you to move after the light turns green. Each driver has his/her own response time and imaginary distance to be kept between the next car. The left turn light can be a nightmare at a busy intersection. While, in India -the entire block of traffic starts moving 15 seconds before the opposite light turns yellow - that is Indian efficiency…! And there is the thunder or horning before the actual move. The rickshaw and taxi-wallahs have mastered the art of “wading” through the traffic with wafer-thin margins employing efficiencies of space, time and gas - leaving all others dumbfounded.

Walk overs. Fly overs. Metro lines. All projects saw ground struck months ago, yet precious little progress has been made and even if done, don't think it can match that in other developed countries any time soon.

OOps and with the increase in number of vehicles and traffic - feel sorry, there are no footpaths and bylines to drive bi-cycles. Wish people understood the importance of space to walk, ride cycles - which would benefit the environment as well as the health of individuals. Moreover where and how do we part the vehicles? Once parked, how do we take them out?

Blogging, Reading and Writing....



When I started my blog, it was fun and a great way for me to document my experiences and to vent my frustrations. I’d never blogged. I had no idea what I was doing. Now as I breath in and out; so is reading and writing to me.

Plus, and most importantly, I love reading and writing. As I have started writing this, my collection of books have also increased, and love to have this.



I wanted an online diary to store my thoughts. I love my family and friends. I love writing about all that effects them.
Speaking of the Indian family, where I once saw only strength and solidarity, I now see scores of unhappy homes, where public faces are proud and happy but private lives can be torture.

It is interesting to read many other blogs as well in due course. Interesting to have this platform. Thank God for providing this opportunity.

So, if any of you are still out there, cheers! Please put in your comments.

Om Ganeshaya Namaha!!



Though people presume that I am a great devotee of Krishna primarily because of my name, I tell them I love Ganesha more- so I follow him -In fact the love of Ganesh for his parents. I belive they are our God's.

Ganesh Chaturthi is a great social custom still in practise. I loved it when in Mumbai and had been missing it. Glad to see the pictures from my schoolies. In 1893, Lokmanya Tilak transformed the annual domestic festival into a large, well-organized public event"to bridge the gap between Brahmins and 'non-Brahmins' and find a context in which to build a new grassroots unity between them", and generate nationalistic fervour among people.

The impacts of the festival on the environment can be summarised to be the following:
1.The water pollution caused by the immersion of Plaster of Paris idols into natural water bodies.
2.The water pollution caused by chemical paints used on these idols.
3.The waste generated by the non biodegradable accessories used during the worship.
4.Noise pollution
5.Traffic congestion
6.Increased consumerism

Amongst these the first two can be partially resolved by a shift to eco sensitive materials and practices. Traditionally, the idol was sculpted out of mud taken from nearby one’s home. After the festival, it was returned to the Earth.

On a lighter note Best traffic advertisement of the year... Picture of Lord Ganesha with a saying..'Take care of your head, not everyone gets a replacement like me'

Quite amazed that Ganesh Chaturthi and Onam would often fall during the same time. The festival is observed in the Hindu calendar month of Bhaadrapada, starting on the shukla chaturthi, the fourth lunar day of the waxing moon fortnight. The date usually falls between 20 August and 20 September. The festival lasts for 10 to 12 days, ending on Anant Chaturdashi. Onam Festival falls during the Malayalam month of Chingam (Aug - Sep) and marks the commemoration of Vamana avatara of Vishnu and the subsequent homecoming of mythical King Mahabali. Yes, soon after Karkidakam/Sravan which is a period of silence

With Best Wishes - Sr. Mercy Jose & Co.



As every thing comes to an end, both good and bad - so also our school days did come to an end. We had farewell from our juniors on the 15th of February 1992. After which our headmistress Sr.Mercy Jose on behalf of all teachers gave us a small booklet. Though of samll one of 32 pages - there is so much to learn as I go though it every time.


'With Best Wishes' is a farewell gift of love from teachers to students compiled by J. Maurus - A Better yourself Book.

Go forth and use
The gifts of youth,
But temper them
With ageless truth
And gratitude
For help received,
For those who in
You have believed,
And patience for
What time will tell
In realms where
Great achievements dwell,
Go forth...
We surely wish you well.

--------------------------
The Open Door

There is a door that opens wide,
Inviting you to enter;
This door is opportunity
And life is at its centre.

Broaden your mind’s horizon...
Exchange the ‘no’ for ‘yes’,
This open door of adventure
Will lead to new success.

Behold, the open door of love,
Of friendly brotherhood;
He who opens up these doors
Will build a world of good.

These doors all open outward,
And you may enter free,
If you but have the vision
For opportunity.

- Margaret Freer

Rule of nature


Have often wondered why even today, so many women take medication to postpone their menstrual period especially when festivals or other event are around? If it is to have bother less time or do they still believe in the impurity myth? Why should the girls let the world know that they have got periods, but having to stay out of the places where Puja is performed or away from people and things?

During olden days people had to do loads of physical work, which they do not have to do now. And women would get to relax during these days. Also since there were no sanitary napkins and women may have to clean themselves frequently, it could have been for hygienic reasons as well. Since women would not listen if they were asked to take rest, this kind of abstinence would have been imposed on them. It would have started just as a precaution or advise and not a law or ban. Just as untouchabilty spread,this concept also could have had its misinterpretations. In olden days there was a ceremony to celebrate girl attaining puberty, as it ia considered as a positive aspect of a girl's life.

During this time drops in estrogen levels have been known to trigger migraines. Estrogen levels may affect thyroid behavior. For example, during the luteal phase (when estrogen levels are lower), the velocity of blood flow in the thyroid is lower than during the follicular phase (when estrogen levels are higher). In some cases, hormones released during the menstrual cycle can cause behavioral changes in females. So when you consider a women having her periods,She is both having disturbance in mind as well as body.


Though some do not belive in it, it still exist in the minds of people as some like to continue following old custom, relations. This is God give, how can God be angry on you for something that is natural and God given? We need to respect something that is natural. Medication can harm. It’s time we stop this nonsense of menstrual exclusion. If we approach the issue of menstrual myths with proper reasoning, our mothers and grandmothers will change their outlook towards these myths and refrain from imposing them upon us.So my dear schoolies I have done my bit since long and again trying to spread this word with wider audience in busting menstrual myth.

Change will not happen unless we become the change. We need to question the relevance of old customs in today’s time.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Leadership



A lot has been written about Leadership - There is this wonderful book on The Leader who had no title as well. But thought of putting something together learned since then.

Of all the qualities needed for leadership, only one is indispensable - courage. Without it, all the others are more or less useless. Courage has been shown by all who we recognise as true leaders, from Alexander to Thatcher. A leader must have the ability to take hard decisions and calculated risks. This rule applies at all levels and in all situations - in school, factory, boardroom or sporting arena, no less than on the battlefield or in the council chamber. Leaders have to give courage to others, while creating the illusion that they know exactly what they are doing.


Leadership is partly a confidence trick, and those who practice it cannot afford to be too predictable. Good leaders must be able to tolerate frustration and stress. Some traits a leader must have in abundance are.....

Willingness to Learn
Leaders don’t begin life knowing everything there is to know about the business world. If pride gets in the way of your ability to learn, you’ll be selling yourself, and your business venture, short in the long run.

Incredible Work Ethic
A leader shows up first for work and leaves after everyone else has gone home for the day. The leader uses his or her work ethic to communicate what is expected of employees.

Brilliant Communication Skills
Leaders must be effective communicators. Poor communication will cause a breakdown in the function of your business. Whether you are communicating praise to employees or managing a conflict, effective communication will make your business more successful.

Enduring Patience
Business leaders must also have an abundance of patience. Business success takes a long time to earn, and individuals who cannot patiently wait for goals to be achieved may end up putting too much pressure on employees.

Ability to Dream Big
While patience is necessary, it’s also important for a leader to dream big. You must create the vision for your business’s future. Once the vision has been dreamed up, it’s time to start implementing strategies to achieve your dream.

Courage to Take Chances
An effective leader has the courage necessary to take risks and pursue new opportunities. According to Dr. David Javitch, a writer for Entrepreneur.com, a leader’s ambition and willingness to take risks is the greatest source of inspiration for his or her employees.

Ability to Trust Others
One of the most important characteristics of a good leader is simply an ability to trust others. This may be evident in a leader’s willingness to take a chance on an employee and give him or her an important business task. It may be a leader’s ability to take a chance by outsourcing some business tasks so that the leader has more time to devote to growing and developing the business. Trying to do everything on your own because you cannot let go of the “reins” will only get you and your business into trouble.

These character traits may help you run a more successful business if you can work on cultivating and developing them in your own life.

Shakespeare was good about leadership, as about most other things – he wrote in Twelfth Night – Mistress writes to Malvolio "Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them". Greatness and leadership are so closely akin that the words give us a useful point of departure.

"Born great" has two possible meanings: either being born to a great position, such as that of an hereditary monarch, or possessing natural talents and/or virtues of an exceptional kind. Clearly not everyone born to a great position is worthy of it, and relatively few have the qualities of a great leader. But the greatness of certain offices can rub off on their occupants, who may not otherwise have qualities out of the ordinary. Some appear to have the gift of leadership, but are found to lack it when tested. Others are recognised as "born leaders" and exercise effective leadership up to a certain level, but prove disastrous failures beyond that level. It is very hard to judge the point beyond which a person will be over promoted.

Like those born to great offices who prove, against the odds, worthy to hold them, such people have "greatness thrust upon them".

"Some achieve greatness" denotes, above all, those whose greatness is self-made. But all of the really great leaders must be regarded as achievers, whatever their advantages of birth and training. Most of those who achieve anything in the world are ambitious, and some have very exalted ambitions which they have never the chance to realise. A few rise higher than they or anyone else could have imagined, and then prove equal to the challenge.


Democratic leaders have the difficult task of both guiding the people and seeming to respond to the popular will. Autocrats are obviously freer to exercise leadership, but among them the most successful have been aware of the need to be loved and admired as well as feared, just as many of the best democratic leaders have been natural autocrats, restrained only by conscience and realism. The essential qualities of a good leader are much the same, whatever the environment.


Here are 7 secrets to leadership success:

1. Leadership is about making things happen

If you want to make something happen with your life - in school, in your profession or in your community, do it. Perceived obstacles crumble against persistent desire. At the same time, one need to have compassion for others. Therefore, persistence for your cause should not be gained at the expense of others. Another bit of leadership wisdom!

2. Listen and understand the issue, then lead

Time and time again we have all been told, "God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason"...or as Stephen Covey said..."Seek to understand, rather than be understood." As a leader, listening first to the issue, then trying to coach, has been the most valuable advice.

3. Answer the three questions everyone within your organization wants answers to

What the people of an organization want from their leader are answers to the following: Where are we going? How are we going to get there? What is my role? Kevin Nolan, President & Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Health Systems, Inc. believes the more clarity that can be added to each of the three questions, the better the result.

4. Master the goals that will allow you to work anywhere in today's dynamic business world

* The ability to develop an idea
* Effectively plan for its implementation
* Execute second-to-none
* Achieve superior results time after time.

Forget what others do. Work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.

5. Be curious

Curiosity is a prerequisite to continuous improvement and even excellence. Study people, processes, and structures. Making progress, in part, is based upon thinking. Learn to apply this notion of intellectual curiosity by thinking about organization's future, understanding the present, and know and challeng to creatively move the people and the organization closer to its vision.

6. Listen to both sides of the argument

Listen to all different kinds of people and ideas. Listening only to those who share your background and opinions can be imprudent. It is important to respect your neighbors' rights to their own views. Listening to and talking with a variety of people, from professors to police officers, from senior citizens to schoolchildren, is essential not only to be a good leader in business, but to also be a valuable member within your community.

7. Prepare, prepare, prepare

If you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail. If one has truly prepared and something goes wrong the strength of the rest of what you've prepared for usually makes this something easier to handle without crisis and panic. "Preparation is the science of winning."

Great advice comes from many sources - parents, other relatives, consultants, bosses, co-workers, mentors, teachers, coaches, and friends. The important point to remember is to stay open, listen to everyone, but also develop your own leadership style.

Saturday, August 09, 2014

Stress & Weight




If you want to lose weight, your metabolism has to burn off more calories. A study at The Ohio State University shows two ways to help it do that more efficiently. The research demonstrates that to start making those waistline inches disappear, you need to:

find a way to cut back on stress and
stop eating so many unhealthy fats.

Otherwise, in combination, those two elements can slow your metabolism and make it more likely your body will create more body fat. The scientists found that women in the study who reported one or more stressful factors the day before eating a fatty meal burned, on average, 104 fewer calories than women who weren’t stressed. (The calorie-burning was measured during the seven hours after the meal.) The scientists figure that, in a year, those daily 104 calories could add up to an extra 11 pounds. This means that, over time, stressors could lead to weight gain.

We're more likely to eat the wrong foods when we’re stressed, when we eat the wrong foods, weight gain becomes more likely because we are burning fewer calories.

Popular ways to control or reduce stress include exercise and meditation.

Railways


Railways are a major form of passenger and freight transport in many countries. It is ubiquitous in Europe, with an integrated network covering virtually the whole continent. In India, China, South Korea and Japan, many millions use trains as regular transport. In North America, freight rail transport is widespread and heavily used, but intercity passenger rail transport is relatively scarce outside the Northeast Corridor, due to increased preference of other modes, particularly automobiles and airplanes.South Africa, northern Africa and Argentina have extensive rail networks, but some railways elsewhere in Africa and South America are isolated lines. Australia has a generally sparse network befitting its population density. The highest railway in the world is the line to Lhasa, in Tibet. Western Europe has the highest railway density in the world and many individual trains there operate through several countries despite technical and organizational differences in each national network.


The oldest, man-hauled railways date back to the 6th century B.C, with Periander, one of the Seven Sages of Greece, credited with its invention. Rail transport blossomed after the British development of the steam locomotive as a viable source of the power in the 18th and 19th centuries. With steam engines, it was possible to construct mainline railways, which were a key component of the industrial revolution.


Railway can take you places..Picture I could'nt take when in London, Thank You Sharyn Coleman for this....From here at King's Cross Station we could go to.......but not to to Hogwarts Could you please give us the address J.K. Rowling.....Next time in London, this is where I Would definitely want to go.


Was amazing to find the level of underground railways in London; the tube connectivity is amazing.


Having visualised mumbaikars living in and out of the railways, was facinated to see the much complex railway undergrounds and other railways in UK. Mumbaikars @ local train –
1. We will stand in empty trains and will fight for seat in crowded ones.
2. We don't believe that the train is gonna arrive until the time indicator displays "01 mins remaining"
3. Yes act dead if someone ask for your seat in "Mumbai local"
4. A city with blend of different people and three things, 'pudhil station', 'agla station', and 'next station'
5. Slow local trains - the one which halts at all stations
Fast trains - the one which halts in between the stations.
6. Everything is fair in love, war and local trains.
7. Local trains are the only place in Mumbai where men are more civilized than women.
8. That awesome moment when in local trains you dont have to move towards the exit, you are simply pushed towards it by the crowd
9. If Borivali passenger gets into a Virar fast train. Thats a serious crime boss.
10. Once you survive in a Mumbai local during journey from VT to Kalyan or vice versa during peak hours. Boss you can survive anywhere in the world.
11. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
12. In every local train journey you will find atleast one person asking " arey yeh platform kis taraf aayegi?"
13. Nobody remains "untouched" once you enter Virar / Karjat fast local.
14. There is a invisible station between Borivali and Kandivali called as "Thambevali"
15. Second clasd ticket Rs 9 and first class ticket Rs 104. No difference. You can't sit in either.
16. Getting a virar fast train from Andheri / Borivali during peak hours is more difficult than getting into IIT and IIM


Was facinating to see metro line in chicago and good to see good ones comming up in Delhi, Mumbai and Kerala.


It was amazing to stay just about the railway line in Bonn. The maritimehotel crosses the railway line, and it was interesting to travell underground a river in a train!

With the pollutions due to motor vehicle,and increase in the number of people travelling, the frequency and the distance, am sure the railways have a long way to go.....