Sunday, July 19, 2015

Love


Questions don't have to provide answers. Questions can springboard into new thoughts, ideas and interpretations. There are no right answers.

Sometimes you just need to be silent. Because no words can explain what is going on in your head, mind and heart. This brought me into another reading-



I know it is our interdependence that makes our independence possible. .. and I love my freedom. Was so happy to be single, without bonds and cares..Remember Gareth's words - and it is echoing in my head 'Never say Never'. It is so true:



Aankhen khuli ho ya ho band,Deedar unka hota hai,Kaise kahoon main o yaara yeh pyaar kaise hota .. This too is an awesome feeling..

The King of Love My Shepherd Is
By: Henry W. Baker


The King of love my shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never;
I nothing lack if I am his
And he is mine forever.

Where streams of living water flow,
My ransomed soul he leadeth
And, where the verdant pastures grow,
With food celestial feedeth.

Perverse and foolish oft I strayed,
But yet in love he sought me
And on his shoulder gently laid
And home rejoicing brought me.

In death’s dark vale I fear no ill
With thee, dear Lord, beside me,
Thy rod and staff my comfort still,
Thy cross before to guide me.

Thou spredst a table in my sight;
Thine unction grace bestoweth;
And, oh, what transport of delight
From thy pure chalice floweth!

And so through all the length of days
Thy goodness faileth never.
Good Shepherd, may I sing thy praise
Within thy house forever.


--------

We live life only once, we need to live it right with dignity. Experience all and see all that we can, in the one life that we have. Glad that you let me know this as well:

What this love is like, falling in love I will see
Lost in thoughts, I have decorated dreams
Asleep by myself, I have made you mine
Oh friend, one in love
How can I say, oh friend, what this love is like



And then there is the love of siblings...

-----

Well it could be for material or abstract things as well...

---

Anything more wonderful than the love of God...who guides us, protects us...

Whatever - No one can tell you what love is, you will simply know it when you feel it.

Monday, July 06, 2015

@ Home Finally...


A house is build by hands, but a home is build by heart.


We do not earn to pay builders and interior designers, caterers and decorators..Nor do we earn to give it off as rent, and when we have no earnings, have no place to go.

It is wise to have an investment for peaceful retirement. Also as long as we live, we need to have an address for everything.

20 years ago, this day, we had moved to Kerala and were staying in a rented house. A house under construction, both of us studying...

And now, here we are - three of us from the family - with one having a three member family - with three houses - See am back to three. Did I not say everything in life is three?





A chawl,hut, banglow, building, individual house, besides water front, above the mountain, in a hill station - where ever- a home is where the heart is.

So much of hard work, and involvement goes behind its construction - materils, labour - setting, arranging. Some promises kept, some unkept, a lot of delay and follow up. Feeling sad that even when the house is ready, the follow up for the flat continues. This again show, it is always good to be independent. At the end what matters is harmony among the people staying there and God's blessing for a healthy, happy Life.

Yes, I mean it. Just about 4 years since return from US, 4 death - Both Fathers, one mother, and one grandmother...With the home being a dream for two of them....and as Sangs said - they would have collapsed with joy on the move, and have constantly called and informed everyone.

When people are around, and do it, we scold them - and when they are not around, we miss them. So indeed what matters is harmony among the people staying there and God's blessing for a healthy, happy Life. With Prayers for Happiness & Health Humesha!

Death Speaks...





A great loss for my mom and me. I did update this in our family blog but for some reason, without my ammukutty, this space appears to be incomplete.

Had been wondering if the death was timely or untimely; and happen to read this:
---
There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling and said, Master, just now when I was in the market - place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture; now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there death will not find me. The merchent lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the hosrse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the market place and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.

---

As soon as you die, your identity becomes a 'body'. People use phrases like 'bring the body';lower the body in the grave, people don't even call you by the name...Death is not the greates loss in life. Loss is when life dies inside you when you are alive. Celebrate the event called life.

----

If we remember everyday that we could lose someone at any moment, we would love them more fiercely and freely, and without fear- not because there is nothing to lose, but because everything can always be lost.

----


Death is a one way ticket, nobody can bring back the dead. This journey had begun on the 27th of December 2014; nobody living; really knew when the final time to bid good bye was; it could have been in a week, a month or a year.

I have never been an ardent follower of rituals, and have always belived that we need to serve people when alive. But wanted to do this; a last attempt - of every mother to see their children together. Wish it would have happened when alive but unfortunately not even after death...Who can bring them together?

Believe in signs : So has been said - by our ancestors, tradition and even the modern day scholors - and what do signs say? Always keep in touch.

-----

Is it true, when we offer balipindam, the dead come as birds? This reminded me of Ammuma & Muttachan,with the escort......


-----

When I'll be dead,
Your tears will flow,
But I won't know,
Cry for me now instead!

You will send flowers,
But I won't see,
Sent them now instead!

You will say words of praise,
But I won't hear,
Praise me now instead!

You'll forget my faults,
But I won't know,
Forget them now, instead!

You'll miss me then,
But I won't feel,
Miss me now, instead!

You'll want to say Love you,
But I won't be able to hear,
Say it now instead!

You'll wish you could
have spent more time with me,
Spend it now instead!

Spend time with every person around you,
Your families, friends, acquainted,
Make them feel special,

B'Cause you never know,
When time will take them away from you forever.
Life is too short,

Love all & Forgive all.


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Love Vs. Marriage


There is no statistical study or result on what exactly love or marriage is. They just happen. No age for it, no time for it, no place for it...The feeling could trigger when you are young, or when your are old; when you are single or when you are married; when you are alone or when you are in a group.

In Love marriages, love may be at first sight, or may be after one or two breakups.

If you have no courage to take the risk of love...no risk, no reward.

Love is like alcohol. Its a bottled poem. Age no bar, caste no bar...

And here is what our LLB guy from the team said:

"Resolved that love is though eternal, it depends on each person's personality and attitude to take it to next level called marriage.

Resolved further that since there are no proven statistics to showcase whether the Love and marriage are correlated or not, it has been decided that we need to understand the words not by its literal meaning but it has to be read along with the relationship two people had before they got married.

Sd/-
Dr. Love. "

Any guesses who is Dr. Love? The young all rounder, whose shortfilm was recently selected ..Gives strong definitions, and claims that he does not want to be married...


P.S. A discussion by the lovers of the team - Rakesh, Anoop& Prasanth (cum writer); and writer Anil.- This is what we the professional accountants discuss in Whatapp...Ooops...

Jokes apart, this made me ponder -

No one can tell you what love is, you will simply know it when you feel it. Love someone who is honest, honest with you, with others and with themselves. It’s a great feeling, indeed!

More than Ram & Sita; Krishna & Rukmani or Sathyabama – Stories of Krishan and Radha are famous, oftesn spoken about – and it is believed that even after death – it is Krishna and Radha who become one?

Marriage is not about procreation, the infertile marry. Marriage is not about finance, the poor marry. Marriage is about love, That’s it. And that’s beautiful.

It is not an objective or goal of any person to get married, but that is one thing that more than 90% of the human being end up doing.

Marriages are neither what you see in movies, nor what you read or listen to people say. It is indeed made in heaven. Sometime I wonder if two people cannot be together why did destiny let them meet at all? So sad to see so many divorces these days..

Wish people could really find their better half – as Devi mentioned “ the critical half that you can’t do without…that half that comes alive when you are totally down in the dumps…that half that does not want to capture your half of the deal and lets your half operate independently…simply lets you breathe and just “BE””

Marriages begin as a simple road trip, and turns out to be a lethal tightrope establishment with family circuses. Happy Marriage is where you can fall asleep and wake knowing your heart is safe. When you stumble down, you have a steady hand to hold on.

“.You start comparing, contrasting, contradicting….Those creeping moments when you start wondering whether hell had anything to do with the origin of marriages…..the blame game erupts at the drop of a hat..err..may be drop of a nappy when you also become ‘parents’ apart from ‘married couple’ .

Like wise Motherhood is when a girl actually transforms into a women. One need not have a kid of own..but having a kid around makes one more responsible, sincere and affectionate in all the things that we do and see.


Truly blessed are those who get into a relationship where they talk like best friends, play like kids, argue like couples and protect each other like siblings. That does not mean someone else is less blessed than they are. It’s just that we are blessed in different ways.

Life is so ironic. It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence. I type this surrounded with two laptops, two mobiles, facebook, Whatsapp...But with no single soul except mine around! With no regrets - But Thanking God for blessing me in a different way.

Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba
Aaye jo koyi toh phir jaaye na rabba
Dene ho gar mujhe baad mein aansoon
Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba

Rainbows


RAINBOWS ARE RAINBOWS BECAUSE SUNSHINE MEETS RAIN...



Rainbows, would not be rainbows, unless sunshine meets the rain.
I would not see it, unless you were mine.
A rainbow is a promise of sunshine after rain,
Of calm after storm, of joy after sadness,
Of peace after pain, of love after loss.

Hope this is true...Wish good times are ahead.

Humming...Main Meerase devani ho gayi..iss dunya se begani ho gayi...

Thank you very much...for bringing this to my attention.

Hamari Adhuri Kahani



Not sure...was busy in office...did not even know about this movie...heard half of a dialogue and there I go...within minutes...I was in the theater watching the movie on the day of release...

Though there were many negative comments on it, I do not regret having seen it.

The movie opens with a woman (Vidya - old but hair dyed) getting off from the bus at Chatisghar, she tumbles and falls down after walking a few steps. An elderly man (Hari) is seeing psychiatrist about hallucinations of his wife, & he is then recruited by his son's wife who takes him to his wife's funeral, where he steals her ashes and leaves a diary for his son.

It then jumps to past where, Vasudha (Vidya Balan) is a florist and a single mother whose husband is missing for five years, bound to traditions she has been waiting for him since he left her. Vasudha meets Aarav Ruparel ( Emraan Hashmi) in one of his hotels, where she works as a floral arranger. Here we have some unnecessary dialogues.


She becomes romantically involved with a Aarav;her husband Hari ( Rajkumar Rao) returns....And thus they Vidya and Aarav become like Radha and Krishna.

It had some puch dialogues; some were little too much.

You also love me very much, but you won't say that ... you'll wriggle without me but you won't show that ... you want to come to me, you want to hug me and cry, you want to stay in my heart but you won't stay ... but I'm not like you ... I can't live without saying that I love you.

The mother son story is touching. But there is something missing, some mismatch between past and present in the movie. Though Vidya was cool...not as ever...

Oh my God....2nd movie in the theater in such a short span of time...May be making up for the lost years...

Sunday, June 07, 2015

Need a driver...



Took a test to find out what my perfect job is, and got the response - motivational speaker! Details being

"You're a true student of human nature and have a great eye for the strengths and abilities of your fellow man. You should definitely offer coaching and motivational training! You can assess someone's personality as soon as they enter the room, and you know exactly where and how you need to tickle your clients to deliver top performance! You know exactly how to inspire someone; at the same time, your compassion and kindness cause people to feel accepted and understood around you. You should really become a motivational speaker!" Way to go....

Would love to do it - need a driver.

Read-'India's IT Party is over. Reinvent yourself or suffer'- and how automation is going to reduce the job of middle managers. Happy with the present job, but need to develop Plan A - skills in the current role and Plan B- Another Career B; so it matches with the above.

Would love to develp and understand it - need a driver.

I know being with no one is better than being with the wrong one, sometimes those who fly solo has the strongest wings, but at times feel that I am all alone amidst the busy crowd. Something that is pulling me backwards, when in fact, I would want to go forward.

Would love to go forward - need a driver.

At this juncture, with all the losses, and so many things to be done, Missing Achan a Lot; wishing he would be around. Know death is the end of suffering, but

Would love to live untill I die - need a driver.

One life, so many places to visit, so many things to be done, miles to go. But the path is difficult, long and dense. Moreover I am unable to drive myself, Though

Would want to do all that can be done in this life - need a driver.

Tanu Weds Manu Returns....



How often we have wondered what have happened to the characters of a story or the movie after the end? I have upteen times, and loved to see Tanu weds Manu Returns...The movie was tight, light, yet layered.

"Tanu Weds Manu Returns" starts in London with its protagonists (a terrific Kangana Ranaut and a very likeable and mature R Madhavan)falling out of love and traying to take psychiatric help to save their marriage. With things falling out of place, Tanu returns to her home town and gets close and flirty with Raja Avasthi(Jimmy Shergill, Superb), her ex love interest. She also ignites love in Adv. Arun (Mohammed Zeeshan Ayub in top form) who has been living in her room without paying rent for quite sometime now. In the meantime Manu is back in Delhi and while giving lecture at Delhi University meets Datto (Kangana in her secondrole and with a spot on Haryanvi accent), who reminds him of Tanu and starts following her only to fall in love with her. Pappi (Deepak Dobriyal, as good as ever)who had fallen for Komal in the last instalment travels to Chandigarh with Manu and Datto so that he could stop her wedding. Tanu and her family are already there in the wedding and Payal (Swara Bhaskar - terrific)has had a child through ART but is terrified of revealing to Jassi (Ijaz Khan) that heis not the father of the kid. At the wedding, everyonetakes Datto for Tanu and Manu's verbal exchanges result in Manu declaring that he is going to marry Datto - only to Raja's disappointment ashis wedding was already finalised with Datto. Finally Manu is back to Tanu...for her determination. It's interesting watch and scores better than its prequel. My heart was with Kusum though!

Weekend with Kangana Ranaut as Tanu & Kusum with colleague and mom(who reminded me of my Father and Grandmother) and Sunday -Queen with mom..She is simply awesome..looks like 3 complete different person..Kusum reminded me of Geena George; not sure if it was like Sachin Tendulkar hitting a century and India loosing a cricket match or otherwise..

But it was a special watch, and Thanks for the day,not sure when and how I am gonna repay ...It reminded me of a similar incident 8 years before watching Om Shanti Om in 2007.

It's so hard to Love easily, Yet so easy. Belive this is not true...Everyone, everything has its/their own place and when replaced the vaccum remains. But deep down these words give temporary hope -

God will never leave you empty. He will replace everything you lost. If he asks you to put something down, it's because He wants you to pick up something greater.

Saturday, May 02, 2015

World Wonders...


Definitely it is life....We need to live and let live...

World Wonders –Team in Kochi attended a Team Building/Experiential Learning Program; by vimingo to energize, enlighten and engage that covered:



The Leaning Tower for Building Trust



· Say what you do and do what you say

· Communicate, communicate and communicate

· Trust generates commitment and commitment fosters teamwork

· Show people you care

· Be transparent, authentic and willing to share your mistakes



The Colosseum for Conflict Resolution



· Remain Calm

· Genuinely consider the other person’s view

· There is power in your words

· If your are wrong, quickly admit

· Before speaking, ask yourself, “ Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?”



Taj Mahal for effective communication



· Watch your body language

S – Face the person Squarely

O- Open posture, no crossed arms or fidgeting

L – Lean towards the person, not too much but just enough to show interest

E – Maintain eye contact, without staring

R – Be relaxed, don’t fidget and be comfortable

· Get rid of unnecessary conversation fillers

· Have a script for small talk and other occasions

· Ask questions and repeat the other person

· Tailor your message to your audience

· Be brief yet specific

· Listen actively

· Don’t Ass-U-Me!



The Statue of Liberty for Creative thinking



· Read more books

· Watch a TED

· Draw a doodle for fun

· Travel

· Go for a walk

· Pick up a new hobby

· Try a new ice cream

· Be mindful and stay open

· Spend time in nature

· Listen to music

· Do your thing



Eiffel Tower for Time Management



· Make a to-do list every day – A Time Diary

· Don’t be afraid to say no

· Find your productive time

· Avoid Procrastination

· Multi Task

· Reward yourself



The Pyramid for One Team, One Goal, One Organisation



· Create a culture of quality

· Communicate with your clients

· Be Transparent

· Set Realistic Expectations

· Add Value

· Share Updates

· Measure your satisfaction

· Own up to mistakes

· Show your appreciation

· Empower your customers



The Great Wall for Customer Centricity



· Adopt an open communication style

· Set expectations and clearly communicate those objectives

· Establish acceptable policies as well as the consequences should the policies be violated

· Conduct demonstration and brainstorming sessions before implementing change

· Energize and have fun

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Abundance of Choice


Where our generation lucker than the new with fewer choices? Has the life become easier or difficult with more choices?

An affliction of our time is the abundance of choice. When there was little or none , we were happy with what we had. Today, when there is plenty of choice, we are dissatisfied, no matter what we have!

The application of mind, reason and individual choice is not something that sits easy with all. And when you have to live with the consequence of that choice, the process acquires greater criticallity and makes you highly anxious. Anxiety leads to wrong decision-making, creating unhappiness and depression.

With more opportunities, for travell, education, purchase etc. indeed we can choose our lifestyle and go places, but it is upto us to make approprate decision.

Movement is life, stagnation is death. What one person cannot do, two can; what one person can do, two can do still better. Life is what has been happening to me when I had been busy making other choices.

Moving forward as long as God Willing; letting go what cannot be held on;unaware what was set to come; the year began with a hiking onto Munnar. As scheduled soon after that my sis went through the surgery;we had prayed that:

Wipe out the paints, unmould the clay.
Let nothing remain of that yesterday....

Then February Month End; I had to take leave being unwell; and after a week of leave - suddenly there is a call for a couple of questions to be published in the newspaper - was an unexpected opportunity - accepted after aconsiderable thought.



Answers should have been precise; but I couldnot limit myself.

Life must be rooted in (dharma) - ethical values which is the foundation. Without compromising these one should establish meaningful human relationships (kama) which are like furnishings in a house and secure financial assets (artha) to make walls or bridges. These are not the ends in themselves and in this process we should not lose sight of the ultimate goal of moksha (liberation)

This matches with our corporate Strategy 20-20. Focus -) Connect -) Grow.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Single, But not lonely



Indeed as mentioned in Times Life! by Eric Klinenberg,the author of Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone -

Living alone, feeling alone, being lonely and being isolated are four distinct conditions, but we often combine them. Singletons(People who live alone), are generally neither lonely or isolated. They are actually more likely to spend time with friends and neighbours than married people, and volunteer in civic organisation too.

In the past 50 years, living alone has become one of the most rapidly increasing social trends. India, along with China and Brazil, has recorded the fastest growth of single-person households.

People who are successfully married do relatively well on conventional happiness measure. Do they enjoy life more? Not sure. But then there are all those who marry and then divorce or separate.(or compromise and stay together). People who live alone tend to be happier than them. Human history is full of people living, trapped, in marriages that are lonely and isolating. Living alone is a way of escaping it. As hard as it can be to go solo, there's nothing lonelier than living with the wrong person.

Living alone comports with many of our most sacred modern values: freedom, control of one's own time and space, the search for solitude, the capacity to socialise on our own terms. This is appealing to millions of people around the world.

The disadvantages are that it's expensive, sometimes impossibly so. It can be lonely and if you get depressed while living alone, the problem can spiral out of control. Also, aging alone can be brutal, particularly if you are frail and poor.

Whatever you choose, life sometimes get so bogged down in the details, you forget you are living it. There is always another appointment to be met, another bill to pay, another symptom presenting, another uneventful day to be notched onto the wooden wall. We have synchronized our watches, studied our calendars, existed in minutes, and completely forgotten to step back and see what we've accomplished.

It is our interdependence that makes our independence possible.

We would one day, be removed from the rotation, God is like The rising Sun, 'Too bright in her losing eyes'; Giving light and heat. Both a necessity. But Light to be more than heat.



One swing set, will make memories, to give you in future, an ache of sentimentality. All fragile and fleeting, but it introduces you to ups and downs of human life gently and safely, and teach you : No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can't go all the way around. - As in the advertisement for the sale of the swing, in'The Fault in our Stars'. You have the freedom to make your choices, and when you do it; there is no regret, that you are living someone elses life.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

New Year: Rejuvenation, Renewal And Rebirth





James Allen, spiritual writer, reminds us:- " Every day is a new birth in time, holding out new beginnings, new possibilities and new achievements. "

We are all in the habit of making New Year resolutions only to see them getting broken in a matter of days or weeks. These resolutions may centre around career, health, education or may be about overcoming certain bad habits. But doing without any goal is no answer. We ought to know where we are going!

We need to be physically and mentally fit. We need faith to meet challenges of the unknown future. German theologian Paul E Billheimer wrote - " Life without love is a disaster. The person who has made the most spectacular success but reaches life's end without learning love has totally failed. Do not envy those in the limelight of publicity, those with scintillating intellects or those who have accumulated great wealth and all that it affords. If one hasn't leaned to love in the process, his life is a disaster. Look for opportunities to express this love, you will find them in plenty. As you go along, sow seeds of empathy, compassion and encouragement; appreciate and motivate people to do their best - your year will be enriched thereby.

Our sense of righteousness is coloured by our selfishness, greed and pride and hence we should guard againt these. Most conflicts among humans can be traced to a lack of concurrence on what constitutes righteousness. Life is often measured by time, andthose who waste time, are actually wating life. The fading of the pastyear and the dawn of the New Year must alert us to the need to live every moment of it. Since life is short we must determine to 'redeem time'. Procrastination, idleness and aimless drifting have proved to be very costly to many would-be achievers.

1. Try to get up early (you can accomplish 30% more during 5 am to 10 am)
2. Exerciseat least for 30 minutes 4 times a week (you have no choice on this)
3. Visualize positive things for 30 minutes every day.
4. If you do the three above, your behaviour will be impeccable.
5. Invest in the best clothes you can afford - along with good shoes (better dressed people earn 15%more - all things)
6. At work, do only things, whcih will increase your productivity. (Whatever you focus on - expands)
7. Outsource everything which is not your core competence. (Don't waste time on improving your weakness)
8. Reduce mobile billsby 30%. (Mobile phones are the biggest time waster)
9. Atleast take one risky decision, which you were always scared to take. (I don't want to die of boredom-do you?)
10.Take 2 vacations in a year.
11. Devote at least one day (sunday)for family only. No business calls, no laptops. Does not matter, how big business/position is.
12. Smile at everyone you meet (Even at the liftman)
13. Read at least 2 books in a year.
14. Call two old friends, whom you have not spoken for in years.
15. You have only 52 weekends,do not let anyone spoil it.

"See People When they are invisible" - (Because you saw me when I was invisible)- A very relevant statement from Princess Diaries.

There was this ugly girl, whom no one liked. But there was a guy who liked her and cared for her. And later when she bcomes aprincessshe calls him out of all prince to dance with her saying "you saw me when I was invisible" Very relevant- People seeing you when you are invisible to the world. We become visible only when we gain success.It is important to see people when they are invisible and bring out the best in them.

Omnis cellula e cellula.....





Bad Luck, Poor Lifestyle or faulty Genes, loss is a loss; especially to those directly effected and really close. With stain in the heart and memories to last as long as God wills, we need to keep moving ahead whatsoever. Not many can hide or run away from Cancer these days, not is a topic which seals the lips of the audience.

Today on hearing cancer, people ask - which stage? Where? Chemo or radiation? Tumour? Benign or malignant? And we do have internet to research and answer our questions; but what can be done to prevent or save the people?

The marks humans leave are too often scars. What has started has to end.

< As John Green writes in his book 'The Fault in our Starts'- " There will come a time when all of us are dead. There will come a time when there are no human being reamining to remember that anyone existed or that our species ever did anything. ...Everthing that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten. ......There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, andthere will be a time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God know's that's what everyone else does." The book is all about Hazel, Augustus, The Imaginery Book and author- 'An Imperial Affliction'& Peter Van Houten and of course Cancer. When you suffer you realise you do not even thave the right to say - 'THIS IS MY LIFE,IT BELONGS TO ME'; you get to battle cancer, you'll keep fighting; hearing cheesy sentiments like live your best today..It is a civil war with a predetermined winner. There are two kind of adults, - who scoured the earth in search of something to hurt; and then there were people who walked around zombically, doing whatever they had to do to keep walking around. And then there is me! The former editor of the British Medical Journal admits, raising temprature across the medical fraternity - Sudden deaths are the heaven for the deceased but hell for family and friends, Cancer gives us time to say bye. And so true....I had deep below my find feared road accidents, and still do. We cannot fanthom the pain of the sufferer. Insipite of the time given to realise we still feel the person is around somewhere for you, even after years....

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Journey into 2015



Everything in this world comes with an expiry date, including you and me. Each of us would have our own manufacturing defects, some that can be rectified, some that cannot be. There is no use of generalising things. We are all God's creations, Unique in each of our own ways, but similar in others. Good to forgive, best to forget, Easy to say, Difficult to do. Tough time never last, but tough people do.

Recently someone said about a team/group: 'Negalu Kutathil Ninu Paravekunavar anoo'; ever since I had been wondering the English word for 'Para'; is it backstabbing? Not exactly. Is it ditching? Not exactly. Had a discussion on this, and realised; thereis no word to describe that in any other language..backstabbing comes close, 'Athu MalayaleesinteSwantham Kala Aanu' - Again hurting generalisation. We find this quality in people across, and not all malayalees are like this. What should you do, when someone tell this on your face? Keep your mouth shut? If I had to keep my mouth shut, God would not have given me the ability to speak. So is it wrong to open our mouth? No, then realised we should not react but respond. We cannot fix everything in this world, but just let go. Who realise the worth of being together will stay together, there is no use trying to impose on others. Helping one in need, being there to support can happen only when there are people around and they realise and appreciate the needs with eyes and ears open. Feel sorry and sad, to see people only cribbing, not realising how the responsibility and help rendered by being in a group has given them their own free time to do what they want, in the way they want to do it.

Talents differ, all is well and wisely put. Not sure, how my mother could be so responsible and accountable, without expecting anything in return, so very independent. Working hard with her heads down, with so much of love for her neighbours, friends, and relatives weather it be the washer man, milk man, postman. Keeping a smile on her face, with pain in her heart with love for her brothers.

This is one thing I would like to imbide in me - So strengthen the family bond - to keep the spirit of India alive - Not to adopt what is bad, but keep up the good in 2015 and am glad that I have no brother. (For each their own! Scnecdoche and no pun intended) Brother could meet sister and do much, make things positive; but sister is left saying:


Brother, I am fire
Surging under ocean floor.
I shall never meet you, brother -
Not for years, anyhow;
May be thousands of years, brother.
Then I will warm you,
Hold you close, wrap you in circles,
Use you and change you -
May be thousands of years, brother.


There is a relationship between sisters that is unlike other sibling bonds

- Jodi Picoult'' through 'My Sister's Keeper'


Walls and Bridges are made by the same material; but one unites people while other divides...It is upto each of us to be a bridge or a wall. You cannot blame the skin and blood. Circumstances, controls and priorities matter.

Life is like a journey on a train, with its stations, with changes of routes and with accidents!
We board this train when we are born and our parents are the ones who get our ticket.
We believe they will always travel on this train with us.
However, at some station our parents will get off the train, leaving us alone on this journey.
As time goes by, other passengers will board the train,many of whom will be significant- our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.
Many will get off during the journey and leave a permanent Vaccuum in our lives.
Many will go so unnoticed that we won't even know when they vacated their seats and got off the train!
The train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes and farewells.
A good journey is helping, loving, having a good relationship with all co passengers..and making sure that we give our best to make their journey comfortable.
The mystery of this fabulous journey is we do not know at which station we ourselves are going to get off.
So we must live in the best way - adjust, forget, forgive,and offer the best of what we have.
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to leave our seat, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train oflife.
Thank you for being one of the important passengers on my train...don't know when my station will come. Don't want to miss saying:"Thank You"

Thank you all for being part of this journey. Hope to see a positive and inspiring 2015 ahead.



Monday, December 22, 2014

PK



Glad to have watched this movie....Had been to a cinema theater after couple of years, and this was worth it! Like 3 Idiots/Munnabhai...could be because it is directed by Rajkumar Hirani.

Movie is the narration of a book PK by Anushka (Janani)to readers and finally has her father wisteling, who once send her an SMS 'Ashamed of you'.

As satire on God and God man; Aamir Khan is awesome as PK the Alien.The first half is flawless as the director stitches together implausible ideas to tell a very believable story. While as an audience you laugh at the absurdities, you also realize how true each of them holds in the Indian context. You also sense PK’s desperation, as you see him frantically persuade every religious custom available to him in an attempt to convey his plea to God.

Whether it be wrong number, or why human wear dress, or why different fashion between different religion, or is there any mark on individuals distinguishing religion, or the lie and theft being common on Earth and every one crazy about Money and Gandhi.

As PK lands on earth, there is love blooming in the hearts of Jagat Janani (Anushka Sharma) and Sarafaraz (Sushant Singh Rajput), a man from Pakistan she met in Bruges but seperates due to miscommunication.

Tapsvi Maharaj versus PK face-off and open criticisam can happen only in India; and to this religion, else this would have been banned or criticised heavily for sure. Jaggu's channel head (Boman Irani) helps them by using his channel as platform to expose Tapasvi. PK succeeds to unite Jaggu and Sarafaraz,but returning home is not easy for PK because he loves Janani, he takes two suitcases with audio tapes of her voice with him, and many spare batteries for his radio recorder. Movie ends with PK coming back on earth for more research with another alien.

Songs are awesome, and the one on Bhagavan reminds me of Maa in Thare Zamen pai. To reconfirm, that our maa is our bhagavan on earth!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A year of Hotels & Hospitals @ 2014



As I look back at 2014, it was a year of hotels and hospitals. Dreams comming true and getting shattered.

Live each day to the fullest, you never know if you have a tomorrow.

Love not just to be good or to make the world a better place out of some abstract moral responsibility, or to give up our hedonism. Connect with energy, it feels like excitement, euphoria and then love. Finding enough energy to maintain that state of love certainly helps the world,but it most directly helps us. It is the most hedonistic thing we can do.

Lead- Let your perception of beauty and iridescence lead your way. Places and people who have answers for you will appear more luminous and attractive. Help others on your way by all means possible.

Learn....what we know is just drops in the ocean, as is said, he who reads leads, so if you learn new skill sets, new things, it will help you in every walk of your life.

Live a legacy...Three deaths in three years, Two in four months. We never know when the time to say good bye is. Live a legacay, keep a mark with good deeds and actions, which would help the world and make a difference.

This year, have covered most of the present hotels and hospitals in and around Kakkanad and Kochi. Three lives shattered. Cannot come out of the shock of one of it, yet. Savithri Amma -Aunty - Why did you go away?

Desi Reading Time - AccessAbility


Enabled and Empowered, Shivani is a real life hero, who make us realise disability is not a disease, it is a situation, and we need to make things accessable for all. Inspiring, and best not only in this lot, but among many others. You can reach her at E-mail: shivani@accessability.co.in; mobile: (0091) 9310245743



Last couple of days had been a marathon reading of books by Indian author viz:

1. Half Girlfriend by Chetan Bhagat - A quick read, similary story line as most of the other books. Let people say anything, I still like his books. Reminds me of teenage days...Nancy Drews and Famous fives and short stories from Women's Era.

2. You'r dreams are mine now by Rabinder Sing - The book starts on a promising note, soon falls flat, and the whole concept of Politics goes wayward. The story itself drifts nonchalantly, and a reader, like me, fails to understand what the writer had in mind, or what message he eventually wanted to convey was the dream only letting the plant grow literally?

3. My Story by Kamala Das - Has been with me for quite some time, but for some reason, it took to me long...'Ende kadha' is a little different from this. My Story is simple and direct. But nothing much interesting.

4. Inheritence of Loss - By Kiran Desai,The first, and perhaps longest, lesson of the book is, kind of poverty - inherited. After that, we see a pattern of life of many people in India and how the least of them are treated, and how they treat each other including when the lucky few (in their eyes) get to the US. One fascinating insight is the Hindu attitude to Islam - that Islam is so strict and so counterintuitive to human behavior that no one actually follows it. The Hindu says, 'it makes them all hypocrites, they drink at home and try to look pius in public.'

It is a fascinating book, well written, well plotted,Reminded me of God of Small things by Arundathi Roy.

Here are some bits I like:

"One day you will be working for a MNC. There or here. Think of your children. If you stay in a developed country your children will earn a hundred thousand dollars for the same country they would be working for in India but making one thousand dollar. How can you enjoy the best?

One side travels to be a servant and the other to be treated like a king. Which side would you like your children to be?"


“the present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind”

“He learned to take refuge in the third person and to keep everyone at bay, to keep even himself away from himself”

“he had been recruited to bring his country into the modern age, but he could only make it himself cutting them off entirely, or they would show up reproachful, pointing out to him the lie he had become.

“Perhaps that’s why they had been so happy to learn a new tongue in the first place: the self-consciousness of it, the effort of it, the grammar of it, pulled you up; a new language provided distance and kept the heart intact”

“Eventually he felt barely human at all, leaped when touched on the arm as if from an unbearable intimacy dreaded and agonize over even a ‘How-do-you-do-lovely-day’ with the fat woman dressed in frisky pinks who ran the corner store. “What can I get you? Say that again, duck . . .” she said to his mumble, leaned forward to scoop up his words, but his voice ran back and out as he dissolved into tears of shops, and when he bought a shaving brush and the shop girl said her husband owned the same item exactly, at the acknowledgment of their identical human needs, the intimacy of their connection, shaving, husband, he was overcome at the boldness of the suggestion.”

”the unbearable intimacy of brand names”

“in this life, he remembered again, you must stop your thoughts if you wished to remain intact, or guilt and pity would take everything from you, even yourself from yourself”

“all the judge had worked so hard to separate would soften and envelop him in its nightmare, and the barrier between this life and eternity would in the end, no doubt, be just another such failing construct”

“What was a country but the idea of it? She thought of India as a concept, a hope or a desire. How often could you attack it before it crumbled?

“they liked aristocrats and they liked peasants; it was just what lay between that was distasteful: the middle class bounding over the horizon in an endless phalanx”

“Centuries of arguments had occurred between warring families, so many convolutions and tit-for-tats that there was no right or wrong anymore. Purity of answer was a false quest. How far back could you go, straightening things out?”

“Old-fashioned books is what I like. Not the new kind of thing, no beginning, no middle, no end, just a thread of . . . free-floating plasma . . .”

The retired grumpy judge, Jemubhai Patel, studied in a Victorian England, groomed by the Raj,all of which made him rise above his humble roots, to be a revered, fearsome(and very confused) judge...Sai, his orphaned grand daughter, exiled from the convent to be home schooled (by those delightful Bengali sisters Noni and her sister Lola) discovering the first flush of youth, the first pangs of love, with her Nepalese tutor Gyan...or Biju, the judge's cook's son who is moving from one restaurant job to another, as an illegal immigrant in New York.

All the characters are sharply etched, clearly defined and follow an often unpredictable trajectory of departures and homecomings. But for some reason, I thought soemthing was missing. Was it the hangover of 'My sisters keeper'by Jodi Picoult?

5. Unaccostomed Earth a collection of short stories from Pulitzer Prize winning author Jhumpa Lahiri.The title story of the book is about three generations, and the relationship between the three, the father, his daughter, Ruma, and her son, Akash. The Second 'Hell-Heaven'simple human emotions such as loneliness, love, jealousy and also describes how people change drastically over time.

The last is a set of 2 stories "Hema and Kaushik".The story revolves around two people who, despite being childhood acquaintances and their families being old friends, lead drastically different lives. Two decades after Kaushik's family stays with Hema's as houseguests, they meet again by chance, just days before they are to enter into completely different phases of their lives, and they discover a strong connection with one another.The entire story of Hema and Kaushik is divided into three parts.
"Once in a Lifetime"- The meeting and departures.
"Year's End"-Kaushik's life after his mothers death.
"Going Ashore" - Meeting after years - To depart for ever.

This was a good read.

Human Nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth - Nathaniel Hawthorne

6. No Looking Back -By Shivani Gupta:

No Looking Back is a deeply moving and inspiring narrative about surviving the challenges of disability in a country that takes little account of the daily difficulties and indignities faced by approximately fifteen per cent of the world’s population, whether in terms of infrastructure, legislation or awareness—a country that appears to believe that disability equals invisibility from the public discourse. Undeterred by the hand fate had dealt her, Shivani Gupta has chosen to champion the cause of the disabled everywhere and is today one of India’s best-known accessibility consultants. Her life is an extraordinary testament to true courage and the indomitability of the human spirit in the face of overwhelming odds.An incredibly true story, which touch our heart fill our eyes, and tell us there is so much more we can do, and how blessed we are. Shivani and Vikas also throws light on Team work, Love, vision, and so much more...I do not know how to Thanks Pooja for lending this book to me...

Control seems an illusion
All I do is live my destiny,
Happy or sad is up to me.
Possession seems an illusion,
As everyone was born free
To live their own destiny

Hired Guns Vs. Patriots



Basically Employees of today fall under two category viz: Hired Guns Vs.Patriots.

Hired Guns: Are one of the easiest employees to recruit and motivate who do what they do for cash rewards. They don't need nor desire recognition. Self motivated and looking for maximum compensation.

A patriot always go above and beyond their duties because they really believed in the company and it's ownership.

Long gone are the days when an employee remained with a company for 30 years before being rewarded with a gold watch and nice pension. The cornerstone of today's business model is agility. Things change in a quarter rendering well planned strategies obsolete and ineffective.

Your employer won't tell you that, though. Today's employer now more than ever will drain your personal talents for as little investment as possible. The code words are...

"We really need your help on this one...

"We know we can count on you to...

"We know it's a lot to ask but it would be great if...

Your response to any of these or similar request must be, "No problem, how much?"

Have no doubt, the moment your position becomes redundant or the business model changes you will hear, "Awfully sorry but..."

Most times your extra efforts will be to support a poorly developed project or initiative that will end in disaster.

Ask yourself this question, "Do I genuinely have a role to play in making the strategic decision that will affect my future here?"

If the answer is "No", then you should be paid for your extra efforts. If you choose to give up part of your life on someone else's whim then you are a patriot.

The company had expressed the need for you to tap additional personal resources why shouldn't they pay you for them?

Hired Guns are Easier to Work With

This may seem to be a counter intuitive statement. Most managers can't deal with a "take away" attitude frequently displayed by a hired gun. Hired guns will walk out on you for a better deal without remorse.

If management would view this attitude from the proper position it's really very simple. They are motivated by personal gain. Either their overhead cost is worth the revenue company generate or it isn't. If management feels they will gain more by making a change they have no hard feelings.

Turn the tables. If you had a seller who was under performing you would cut them and not lose a wink of sleep. Why is it wrong for an employee to fire you?

It's not a case of who need who more. It's a case of who need your business model in order to benefit and your business model needs whom in order to grow. They feel that they may be an employee but they are NEVER a subordinate.

A Hired Gun Will Tell You the Truth

Because the team members personal enrichment relies heavily on the decisions management makes they will be brutally honest and sure in their advice.

A patriot will sit at the conference table, eyes aglow with admiration hoping for another pat on the back and support your decision to drive off a cliff. Moreover, they will happily occupy one of the seats in the plummeting vehicle.

Rest assured, as soon as you have my resignation you are in trouble. Not because you are losing my resources but because the torpedoes they warned you are about to strike amidships and they'll be in the first lifeboat.

Patriots are Emotional Basket Cases

Hired Guns do'nt get into personal things they dO want to show up, do their job, count gold and leave. Their motivation is money so it all boils down to simple math. How do you calculate the emotional overhead required to keep a patriot happy? That's easy. The answer is "never enough".

From one perspective it may seem that these loyal followers may offer a less costly alternative to a hired killer. After all, an engraved shiny brass plaque or genuine acrylic trophy is much less expensive than a $10,000 bonus check.

Patriots are the need nancies which takes a managers psychological toll never accounted for. The constant need for recognition, understanding and reassurance is a which some managers would not like to carry.

Hired Gun's don't mind having lunch or the occasional cocktail but at the end of the day they find it so much easier when the relationship is based on a paycheck.

The "But" in Using Hired Guns

A hired gun will typically get the job done for you. But there are a few rules.

The first rule is that a hired gun will always use your rules against you. When you present a compensation plan to a hired gun there can be no deviations.

There can be no request for concessions. If the business is having a tough quarter because you made some poor business decisions that's on you. The answer is "No" so don't even ask.

Most good hired guns are pretty smart. If you are sandbagging commissions or using fuzzy accounting methods to calculate commissions we'll figure it out.

The deal is very simple. I kill the bear and you pay the bounty. Should I fail to deliver revenue you have an obligation to sever our relationship. Likewise, if the bounty paid or the hunting ground is less than advertised I, too have an obligation to sever the relationship.

If all you have to offer are hugs hired guns will not have much to discuss.

Well these are the two extremes - which are easy to deal with, but the real difficulty to to deal with the people in the middle...who keep shifting boats - It's difficult to assess them.

Today's Children Tomorrow's Grown-ups





Children's' lives are different from place to place. They may live in city apartments/bunglows/huts, in jungle villages, or on lonely farms. They may travel by car, camel or canoe. They speak different languages and play different games.

Wherever they are, children learn, work and play in the local ways and share in local customs. But the lessons they are taught and the games they play have a common purpose around the world;

Preparing them to be tomorrow's'grown-ups.

We should view them as they really are, as end points in evolution that lead us forward. But in order to learn to evolve they need our energy on a constant basis, unconditionally. The worst thing that can be done to children is to drain their energy while correcting them. This is what creates control drama in them. But these learned manipulations on the child’s part can be avoided if the adults give them all the energy they need no matter what the situation. That is why they should always be included in conversations, especially about them and you should never take responsibility for more children than you can give attention to.

Number of children one has is important because any one adult can only focus on and give attention to one child at a time. If there are too many children for the number of adults, then the adults become overwhelmed and unable to give enough energy. The children begin to compete with each other for the adults time. All the energy does not have to come from the parents alone. This could be from someone who takes care of them.

We should tell children the truth of every situation in language that they can understand. Treat their questions seriously, avoiding the temptation of giving fanciful answers, which is plainly for entertainment. We should always find a way to tell children the truth.

Happen to read 'The Prophet' again after quite some time; a book of 26 prose poetry essays written in English by the Lebanese artist, philosopher and writer Kahlil Gibran; was the motivation to write this, which in turn was Neil. The chapter on children in the book say:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer see the mark upon the path of infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrow may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness,

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.

And then I read this:

http://www.create-your-life.com/Parenting.html

Parenting Mystery:
As a parent, isn’t it my responsibility to teach my child honesty and respect?

NO.
We cannot learn for them, suffer for them, live for them, protect them from themselves or claim responsibility for their mistakes. We can offer guidance by being true to our soul, allow and inspire them to explore and be true to theirs. When we are responsible for ourselves, owning everything we think, say and do, we are doing our best to help our children train their bodies to perform as they intend it, and inspire them to express their love, through their gifts, in ways that best suit them. Love is the most important gift a parent can give their child.

The second most important quality for you to inspire in your child is to claim responsibility for themselves and every choice they make. IF YOU take responsibility away from your child in your attempt to SAVE them (from hurt, embarrassment, failure, or whatever reason you make up), you rob them of the opportunity to learn responsibility naturally, gracefully. Help them to see the simple choices available to them. Allow them to be responsible for their choices with nurturing support, not expectation or guilt. If they react with disappointment or hurt by the outcome of their choices, embrace them with love and respect by helping them see what choices they can make now to manifest their intention. The third most important quality you can inspire in your child is compassion: Feeling empathy for another and expressing love to help them through the difficulty they are facing.


Contact Create Your Life

To learn how you can inspire the qualities you want to nurture in your children, call the Life Strategies Coaches at Create Your Life! today at 480-788-6222. You can also reach Create Your Life! with any questions that you may have about parenting and inspiring the qualities you want to nurture in your children through the Contact Us page.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Controlling & Dramas


Interesting details:



1.When both partners in a relationship or members in a team are overly demanding, when each expects the other to live in his or her world, to always be there to join in his or her chosen activities, an ego battle inevitably develops. There is profound sense of restlessness with changes around. We're all looking for more fulfillment in our lives, and we won't put up with anything that seems to bring us down. This restless searching is what's behind the 'me-first' attitude that has characterized recent decades, and it's affecting every-one.

2. Working to establish a more comfortable style of survival has grown to feel complete in and of itself as a reason to live, and we've gradually, methodically, forgotten our original question....we've forgotten that we still don't know what we are surviving for. We are all preoccupied. We have created the means of material security in 400 years and now we seemed to be ready- poised, in fact - to find out why we had done it.We need to observe culture not just from the perspective of our own lifetimes but from the perspective of whole...millennium...universe. Today we see around, obsessiveness, preoccupation with economic progress. People have stress related diseases and can't slow down thus reducing life only to its practical considerations.

3. Controlling for everything is impossible, some plants grow large. Don't think anything happens by coincidence. It happens to complete the unfinished business! We can affect our surroundings, by what we do with the energy that belongs to us, the part we control. When we control another human being we receive their energy. We fill up at the other's expense and the filling up is what motivates us.

4. We must face up to our particular way of controlling others. Humans have always felt short of energy and have sought to control each other to acquire the energy that flows between people. But why do you want to control and dominate others? After every conversation; individuals come away feeling strong or feeling weak, depending on what occurs in the interaction. We try to be in control, and if we are in control we receive a psychological boost and so the conflicts. We do not listen to understand, we listen to reply.There have been conflicts between families, nations and employement settings. It's the result of feeling insecure and weak and having to steal someone else's energy to feel okay.

5. An alternative source exist, but we can't stay connected with this source until we come to grip with the particular method that, we, as individuals, use in our controlling, and stop doing it because whenever we fall back into this habit, we get disconnected from the source. Getting rid of this habit isn't easy because it's always unconscious at first. The key to letting it go is to bring it fully into consciousness, and we do that by seeing that our particular style of controlling others is one we learned in childhood to get attention, to get the energy moving our way, and we're stuck there. This style is something we repeat over and over again. It is called our unconscious control drama.

It is called drama because it is one familiar scene, like a scene in a movie, for which we write the script as youths. Then we repeat this scene over and over in our daily lives without being aware of it. All we know is that the same kind of events happen to us repeatedly. The problem is, if we are repeating one particular scene over and over, then the other scene of our real life movie, the high adventure marked by coincidences, can't go forward. We stop the movie when we repeat this one drama in order to manipulate for energy.

6. Everyone plays a drama of one kind or another. Your way of controlling people and situation in order to get energy coming your way, is to create this drame in your mind. Everyone manipulates for energy either aggressively, directly forcing people to pay attention to them, or passively, playing on people's sympathy or curiosity to gain attention.

When we are aloof and do not allow an important coincidence to take place, we appear to be playing a defensive drama.

An interrogator is another kind of drama. People who use this means of gaining energy, set up a drama of asking questions and probing into another person's world with the specific purpose of finding something wrong. Once they do, then they criticize this aspect of the other's life. If this strategy succeeds then the person being criticised is pulled into the drama. They suddenly find themselves becoming self-conscious around the interrogator and paying attention to what the interrogator is doing and thinking about, so as not to do something wrong that the interrogator would notice. This phychic deference gives the interrogator the energy he desires.

If someone threatens you, either verbally or physically, then you are forced for fear of something bad happening to you, to pay attention to him and so to give him energy. The person threatening you would be pulling you in to the most aggressive kind of drama, what the sixth insight calls the intimidator.

If someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are responsible, and that, if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to control at the most passive level, with what the Manuscript calls a poor me drama.

Anyones drama can be examined, according to where it falls on this spectrum from aggressive to passive. If a person is subtle in their aggression, finding fault and slowly undermining your world in order to get your energy, then, this person wouldbe an interrogator. Less passive than the poor me would be aloofness drama. So the order of drama goes this way: intimidator, interrogator, aloof and poor me.

These are inculcated in us from childhood, from our upbringing. Interrogators make people aloof!Intimidators create the poor me or another intimidator.

Almost all of us tend to be stuck, at least some of the time, in a drama and we have to step back and look at ourselves long enough to discover what it is.

7. Once we become conscious of our control drama, then we can focus on the higher truth, the silver lining so to speak, that lies beyond the energy conflict. Once we find this truth, it can energize our lives,for this truth tells us who we are, the path we are on,what we are doing.

8. We can relate well with other people-children and adults, name control dramas, focus on other people in a way that sends them energy. If we are observant about who to talk with, then we get the answers we desire as a result. One person can uplift another. And if all the people in a group can interact this way, the group by itself will rise to a higher level.

9. We bring the whole process to consciousness. We increase our energy level and experience the coincidences consciously. This carries evolution onward at a faster pace, lifting our vibrations even higher.

The Celestine Prophecy.....By JamesRedfield



An adventure journey into the search for meaning...through the ancient Peruvian manuscript and the spiritual insights it holds.

Summary: (1)With coincidences, (2) we are in the process of constructing a new world view, (3) universe in reality is a vast system of energy and (4)human conflicts are a shortage of and a manipulation for this energy. (5) We could end this conflict by receiving an inpouring of this energy from a higher source. (6) We could clear our old repeated dramas, and find our true selves.(7)Staying in this magic flow is truly the secret of happiness. (8) Knowing how to relate in a new way to others, bringing out in them the very best, was the key to keeping the mystery operating and the answers comming. (9) Revealing where the evolution was taking us.



Points:

The first insight occurs when we take the coincidences seriously. These coincidences make us feel there is something more, something spiritual, operating underneath everything we do.

The second insight institutes our awareness as something real. We can see that we have been preoccupied with material survival, with focusing on controlling our situation in the universe for security, and we know our openness now represents a kind of waking up to what is really going on.

The third insight begins a new view of life. It defines the physical universe as one of pure energy, an energy that somehow responds to how we think.

The fourth exposes the human tendency to steal energy from other humans by controlling them,taking over thier minds, a crime in which we engage because we so often feel depleted of energy, and cut off. This shortage of energy can be remedied, of course, when we connect with the higher source.

The universe can provide all we need if we can only open up to it. That is the revelation of the Fifth Insight.

The basic of 6th was before we could fully enter the special state of mind that so many people were glimpsing - the experience of ourselves moving onward in life guided by mysterious coincidences - we had to wake up to who we really were.

Seven deals with the process of consciously evolving yourself,of staying alert to every coincidence, every answer the universe provides for you.Even to comapare your dreams to your story.

The eighth is about interpersonal ethics, it explains how we can aid others as they bring us the answers we seek. And further it describes a whole new ethic governing the way humans should treat each other in order to facilitate everyone's evolution. As all the answers that mysteriously come to us really come from other people - all around -children/young/old. But remember not to go too fast. Stay centered in your situation. Do'nt become addicted to another person, it stops your growth.

The ninth reveals our ultimate destiny. As humans we are the culmination of the whole evolution. It talks about matter beginning in a weak form and increasing in complexity, element by element evolving into a higher state of vibration.

Also there is another book - The Tenth insight, which is about compassion,forgiveness and tenacity. It talks about the afterlife dimension, where near death experiences occur.

These are explained in each of the chapters viz:

1. A Critical Mass
2. The longer now
3. The matter of energy
4. The struggle for power
5. The message of the mystics
6. Clearing the past
7. Engaging the flow
8. The Interpersonal Ethic
9. The Emerging Culture

Not easily understood in the first go, but indeed very thoughtful.

Thanks a Ton Reshma for sharing such a wonderful book with me!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Moonnamidangal - K V Manikandan



Proud to hear about the novel release by K.V. Manikandan, and my eyes fills with tears on the thought that Kumarai chechi is not around to see this. Hope she would see this from heaven, am sure her blessings are always around.

സഹോദരന്റെ ഗർഭം പേറുകയും ആകുഞ്ഞിനെ വളർത്തുകയുംചെയ്യേണ്ടിവന്ന ഒരു കവയിത്രി അവരുടെ കഥ നോവൽ രൂപത്തിൽ എഴുതിപ്രസദ്ധീകരിക്കുന്നതാണ് ഈ നോവലിലെ പ്രമേയം , സ്ത്രീ മനസ്സിന്റെ അഗധതലങ്ങളിലേക്കുള്ള അന്വേഷണമാണ് ഇതിലൂടെ നോവലിസ്റ്റ് നിർവ്വഹിക്കുന്നത് . വൈചിത്ര്യങ്ങളിലൂടെ കടന്നുപോകുന്ന കഥാവിഷ്കാരം വായനക്കാരിൽ വിസ്മയവും കൗത്കവുമുണ്ടാക്കുന്നു . ഡി സി കിഴക്കേമുറി ജന്മശദാബ്ദി 2014 നോവൽ മത്സരത്തിൽ ഒന്നാം സമ്മാനം നേടിയകൃതി .

Keep going...Mani Meenu...

Sunday, November 02, 2014

The Pretensions of Choice


When life throws at you
A basket of choices

You dig into its depth
Fooled and ‘buffooned’

.
.
.
.
.

Choices that are myths bundled into mirages
Choices that float and burst at the touch of reality

The word ‘choice’ left meaningless as destiny and fate make your life!

So wrote Devi in her blog.. http://deviharidas.blogspot.in/2014/09/the-pretensions-of-choice.html#comment-form

True we do not choose to be born, live, suffer or die but don't we have choices in life? When there are different alternatives aren't or do'nt we choose one of these choices:-) When my father was ill, we tried treating him at the best doctors around, but in the end had no choice but to let him go...

In the dream it seems like we have many choices, such as whether to have spaghetti or fish filets for dinner, or whether to turn right or left at an intersection. But do we really?

Even though we think we are making choices and have a certain amount of control over our lives, our conscious mind is actually along for the ride, while the unconscious mind creates the entire dream we experience through the power of choice, even when we don't fully realize what we're choosing.

The power of choice involves directing our attention. Your Emotional state will tell you what your are choosing.

- See more at: http://www.wellbeingalignment.com/power-of-choice.html#sthash.BNvHw966.dpuf

For those who belive in God it is clear that he does give us a choice which is an essential part of how he works with us; He did not, for instance, make it impossible for Adam and Eve to reach the forbidden tree (which He could have done), but advised them to keep well clear of it.

Is it all Fatalisam? Are all our choices already decided?

Life after death?



Death is an uncomfortable subject. Many poeple prefer not to talk about it.But sooner or later, we must confront it. And the sting of death is sharp and painful. Nothing can fully prepare us for the loss of a parent, a spouse, or a child. A tragedy may strike unexpectedly or unfold relentlessly. Whatever the case, the pain of death cannot be eluded, and its finality can be devastating. Especially for those very close, near and dear.

People often ask themselves questions that do not seem to have an answer. Sometimes this is called philosophy. Especially when a loved one dies, people ask: Is there life after death? And I have been asking this question to myself for quite sometime.

That’s a question Dr. Gary E. Schwartz has asked himself and he presented his mouth-dropping, scientific results in his book “The Afterlife Experiments”.

Read this in Facebook and thought it interesting:

In a mother's womb were two babies.
One asked the other: "Do you believe in life after delivery?"
The other replies, "why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later. "...
"Nonsense," says the other. "There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?"
"I don't know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths."
The other says "This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short."
"I think there is something and maybe it's different than it is here." the other replies,
"No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere."
"Well, I don't know," says the other, "but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us."
"Mother??" You believe in mother? Where is she now? "
"She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world."
"I don't see her, so it's only logical that she doesn't exist."
To which the other replied, "sometimes when you're in silence you can hear her, you can perceive her. I believe there is a reality after delivery and we are here to prepare ourselves for that reality."

Also there was this interesting discussion between Anish and Julia on why at times when we are at some place for the first time we feel we had been there before? Julia said, it was because we had been there in our past life. Would it be true?

I have never belived in life after death, but we need to live well in this life of ours. But inspite of it, this question often come to my mind....Anybody has an answer?

Ask & KMS


"Higher my achievements, and greater the position of my power, the more helpless I will become; the less I will know about the state of things. In those moments of my helplessness, my ego will come in my way of seeking help. My workplace will make me falsely believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness.

Just as you teach me to say "I do not know", I pray to you to teach me to actively seek help."

Communication is the link pin of every relationship - Personal or professional. We need to ask question when required, Seek for help when needed, KMS - Keep our mouth shut at the appropirate time. Most important of all, know when to do what!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Bounce Back



Just got my hand out of the bag after almost two months; first out of plaster and finally out of the bag too. Thanks to all who had been there to help me, support me.



Had interesting comments of me being careless, Suzukimenu Sradhikandu venuvo? etc. Belive me or not, I wonder if it was because I was extra carefull having a kid with me. Indeed it was a learning experience, with the pain and having to meet the BAU's, both personally and professional. With me those related - friends, families and well-wishers had to bear a pinch of the pain.

Two things I pondered over these days...

7 Mood Lifters:

1. Don't try too hard - keep away expectations and learn to accept.
2. Set personal goals and go after them
3. Don't underestimate your ability to bounce back
4. Nurture good relationships with people you care about
5. Forget retail Therapy - Material possessions cannot make us happy
6. Focus on the good, not on getting over the bad
7. Be empathetic and grateful

And indeed yes the talk by Mohanlal the Malayalam Cine Actor in response to the address by our Prime Minister on Teachers day -

You dream not to be someone, but to do something wholeheartedly, with integrity: - Indeed we need to have a culture of doing anything we do wholeheartedly and with integretiy. We may succeed or we may fail. Failurs/Falls are also a reality of life. When we have success/health we never ask why me, then why at the time of failure/fall?

We can reflect on what went good/bad and try to fix them. Bounce Back. Rest is destiny. Have a beautiful life!

Have covered both my hands again (have had them even before) in a span of two years. Hopefully not again. Thank you all for the support and wishes during these days and hope and pray for all success and health in the comming days.